CLB 013: Why Self-Esteem is Over-rated
In this episode you’re going to discover why self-esteem is overrated. Yes, I said OVER-rated. I know a lot of self-help books and programs out there are all about boosting your self-esteem. Well, I’m going to tell why those don’t work and why you don’t need to waste your money on them. Key Points: Why Self-Esteem is Over-rated Most people can relate to the core belief of “I’m not good enough as I am. There is something wrong with me or lacking in me.” No matter how hard we try or how much we achieve, our thinking self can always find something to dislike, some way in which we are lacking, deficient, not good enough. What exactly is self-esteem? An opinion you hold about yourself. Here’s the reason why self-esteem is overrated: self-esteem is not a fact; it’s just an opinion. It’s nothing more than a highly subjective judgement. For most people, including myself, the more positive the thought, the more resistance there is … thoughts like “Yeah, right!” “Who are you kidding?” “Maybe in your dreams” automatically pop up. The reality is you can find an infinite number of good and bad stories to tell about yourself and as long as you’re invested in self-esteem you’re going to waste a lot of time in this chess game, fighting an endless battle against your own limitless supply of negative thoughts. What if you completely let go of judging yourself as a person? What would life be like if you were to let go of self-esteem altogether? The good news is that leading a rich, full and meaningful life does not depend upon self-esteem at all. Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. HomePlay Are you willing to try this? Let go of trying to prove yourself. Let go of thinking of yourself as a “good person.” Let go of trying to justify your self-worth. Whatever judgments your thinking self makes of you – positive or negative – see them for what they are (just words) and let them go. When you choose to leave the battle with self-esteem, here’s where you end up: Self-acceptance. Being okay with who you are. Treating yourself kindly. Accepting that you are a human being and therefore imperfect. Allowing yourself to mess up, make mistakes and learn from them. Instead of judging yourself you recognize your strengths and weaknesses and you do what you can to be the person you want to be. Please Support Me By Subscribing What did you think of the podcast episode? Please let me know by leaving a comment below. I GREATLY appreciate the feedback! The post CLB 013: Why Self-Esteem is Over-rated appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
4 Apr 2016
CLB 004: How to Unhook Yourself From Your Thoughts
Do you know how to unhook yourself from your thoughts? In episode 3 you found out that your thoughts may actually be controlling you. Wait, let me back up one step first… What do we do when those negative thoughts impact our behaviour or hold us back from doing the things we want to do? For example, having the thought, “I have nothing to say” may lead to avoiding social situations or trying to get out of a social situation. Having the thought, “I blush too much” may lead to trying to hide your face. So how do we deal with these negative or uncomfortable thoughts and prevent them from ruining our lives? That’s what this podcast episode is all about… unhooking yourself from your thoughts so they no longer run your life. Listen to find out how… Key Points The human mind has evolved to think negatively. And that’s why, no matter how hard we try to think positively, we can’t stop our minds from generating negative thoughts. Be wary of any self-help books or programs that claim stuff like “erasing old memories” or “eliminating negative core beliefs” because it doesn’t happen. The latest research in neuroscience tells us that our brains do not eliminate old neural pathways. Our brains lay down new ones on top of the old ones. Our thoughts do not control our actions. Negative thoughts aren’t really the problem. Negative thoughts only become problematic when we get caught up in them, when we give them all our attention, when we believe them as the gospel truth, when we allow them to control us. This is called fusion. When we defuse from our thoughts – when we separate ourselves from our thoughts – they have little to no influence on us. Even just recognizing the thought as unhelpful can lessen its influence on you. However, you can go a step further and unhook yourself from your thoughts using any one of the defusion techniques discussed in this episode. Negative thoughts are normal. Don’t fight them. Defuse from them. You can take action even in the midst of negative thoughts. Episode Transcript You can download a copy of this episode’s transcript by clicking here. HomePlay The moment you notice you’ve been hooked by a thought, acknowledge it and use one of the techniques we went over. You can download a list of techniques, along with their instructions here. Notice what happens. If you notice high expectations popping up unhook yourself by saying, “I’m having the thought that this should magically solve all my problems.” Let your mind try its best to dissuade you and then do the homeplay anyway. Do these techniques at least 5 times per day. The more the better. And if don’t use them notice how your mind talked you out it, what reasons did it come up with, what old stories did it tell you? And let me know how you make out by leaving me a comment below. The post CLB 004: How to Unhook Yourself From Your Thoughts appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
30 May 2015
CLB 003: Are Your Thoughts Controlling You?
As I promised in episode 2, in this episode we are going to release you from the illusion of control. If you recall from episode 2, one of the myths surrounding social anxiety (or any fear or anxiety for that matter) is that you should be able to control what you think and feel. It’d be nice if life were that simple, but that’s actually a complete fallacy. This myth, this illusion of control is so prevalent in our society (it’s even touted by many of the so-called experts and gurus) … so I wanted to devote this episode entirely to shattering this illusion. Because as long as you’re wrapped up in the illusion you’re caught in a vicious cycle. You tell yourself, “I have to fill my head with positive thoughts. I have to get rid of the negative thoughts.” Sure, you can do that temporarily, but the so-called bad thoughts eventually come back. Then what happens? You feel bad about having the thoughts. You feel like you failed at getting rid of them. You see how it becomes this vicious cycle? Well, I say ENOUGH of that. Listen in… Key Points Even though your life depends on it, you can’t control the anxiety. We equate feeling good with the idea of happiness. And if you believe that illusion of course you are going to invest a lot of time and energy in trying to decrease the bad feelings and increase the good feelings in order to be happy. Examples of control strategies can include everything from the use of alcohol or drugs and suicide attempts to comfort foods, exercise, prayer, and meditation. First you ask yourself, “What have I tried doing to get rid of these difficult thoughts and feelings?” Next you want to ask, “How has it worked in the long run?” Finally, you ask, “What has it cost me when I have over-relied on these strategies?” Episode Transcript You can download a copy of this episode’s transcript by clicking here. HomePlay Notice when you are “tugging on the rope.” When does the tug of war happen? What triggers it? What are the consequences? Ultimately, it’s about taking a good, honest look at how control is working in your life – is it taking you in the direction of the meaningful life you want to live or is it taking you in a direction of struggle and suffering? You can download a worksheet that will help you do this by clicking here. Next, head on over to episode 4 to discover how to unhook yourself from the very thoughts that are controlling you… The post CLB 003: Are Your Thoughts Controlling You? appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
19 Apr 2015
CLB 033: Loneliness is a Choice
Is loneliness a choice? Now, I know the title of this podcast episode may be controversial. I mean no offence by it and I think you’ll understand that, along with what I mean by it once you’ve listened to the episode. So, as always, I just ask you to keep an open mind and notice if what I say resonates with you or not. If it does, wonderful, I encourage you to put it into practice in your own life. If not, that’s okay, too. Key Points Re: Loneliness is a Choice Our false self – our ego – only really ever finds itself in the reflection of others. That’s why it doesn’t tend to do very well when it’s alone because it’s not getting any reflection. And, as a result, it tends to go inside and the reflection it gets inside is usually not very pretty… a negative reflection usually – we tend to be very hard on ourselves. What creates these feelings inside us though? Is it the situation itself – being alone, the present moment that you are living in? Or is it caused by believing the thoughts and the stories that your mind is telling you – by believing what your mind is telling you about being alone? Be willing to slow down and question it. Get very specific – what is the specific thought, the specific sentence that is causing the feeling of loneliness in you? Not just, my thoughts in the general sense or as a vague notion – what is the exact, specific thought that is creating this discomfort for you? The emotion – loneliness in this case – is not who you are. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking there is something wrong with you. The ego loves making yourself into a problem. You’re not a problem that needs to fixed. Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play Take action to first understand the loneliness, to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, to question its validity, to cultivate self-awareness, and to connect with the unlimited love and peace within yourself by showing unconditional love toward yourself. Then take action towards connecting in this same way with others. Please Support Me By Subscribing The post CLB 033: Loneliness is a Choice appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
19 Jan 2017
Most Popular Podcasts
CLB 029: You’re Exactly Where You Need to Be
So there’s something that I’ve been reflecting on lately that I thought I would share… this aspect of life that sometimes the hardest thing to do is to live exactly where you are and as who you are. Have you ever felt that? It’s a funny thing… growing up no one teaches you how to do that – to just live. Each morning we wake up caught between the person we once were and the person we are becoming, between the life you once lived and the one you are creating. And you’re kind of left to wonder if it’s possible to ever find some peace in that space between yesterday and tomorrow. So that’s what this episode is about – how we can embrace where we are right now and the fact that that is exactly where we need to be. Key Points Re: Where You Need To Be An important question: “Why do I really want to change this part of myself?” How can you come to self-acceptance? What does that path look like? Here are a few things that I’ve found that helped me: Love Your Yesterdays Dream of Tomorrow Embrace Today It comes down to self-acceptance Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play Reflect upon the questions posed in this episode. How can you apply the three suggestions in your own life? Please Support Me By Subscribing The post CLB 029: You’re Exactly Where You Need to Be appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
29 Nov 2016
CLB 022: How to Stop Ruminating and Gain Meaning from Painful Memories
Ever wonder how to stop ruminating? Have you ever gotten stuck thinking about a past trauma or negative event, a problem or really any kind of setback… over and over again… you just can’t stop thinking about it… like a hamster running in a hamster wheel in his cage your thoughts just seem to run around and around and around…? Yeah, that’s called rumination. And the results of a massive study just came out that show rumination – dwelling on the negative – may be the best predictor of depression and anxiety, as well as determining the level of stress people experience. So in today’s episode we’re going to discuss the results of this study, what the results mean to you, plus we’re going to beyond the results and I’m going to teach you how you can turn rumination in to something to your advantage, a technique you can use to actually lessen anxiety and improve your mood. Key Points Re: How to Stop Ruminating 32 827 people from 127 different countries took part in this online stress test. Here is a link to the study: http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/0/24451567 Results of the test showed that people who did not ruminate on their difficulties had significantly lower levels of depression and anxiety, even if they had experienced negative events in their lives. “Negative” events didn’t cause the depression and anxiety themselves… it was the rumination of these events and people blaming themselves for these events that led to depression and anxiety. As you ruminate, you deepen the groves in your brain, intensifying levels of depression and anxiety. Plus, your problem usually remains unresolved and may even become worse due to the fact that you’re probably not acting on it since all your energy is focused on ruminating. So the key question is then, how can we reflect on our past experiences and gain insights and meaning from them, without getting caught up in the hamster wheel of rumination? When people are able to get distance from their painful memory – when they are able to de-fuse from it – and observe it from a safe place, from a place of pure awareness, it results in significantly less emotional pain, less stress and people are even able to gain better understanding and meaning from their painful experiences. And perhaps most importantly, use de-fusion and pure awareness prevents you from falling into the trap of rumination which we know of course leads only to worsening depression and anxiety. Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play Do this the next time you catch yourself ruminating or you can practice it right now by recalling a past experience or memory… Zoom out until you see yourself within the scene, then zoom out even further so you can see the scene unfold as if you were a stranger who happened to pass by… Allow the experience or memory to play out in your mind while you maintain that third person, distant perspective. And use that third person, de-fused, pure awareness perspective whenever you find yourself reflecting on that experience. Notice if you feel differently looking at things from this perspective. Do you see the event in a different way? Please Support Me By Subscribing The post CLB 022: How to Stop Ruminating and Gain Meaning from Painful Memories appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
13 Sep 2016
CLB 006: How to Handle Feelings of Anxiety and Fear
Last episode – episode 5 – we took a little departure from the format of previous episodes in the sense that the focus was more on optimizing your physical health, in this case through nutrition, in order to reduce the effects of anxiety. In this episode we’re going to continue on the track we left off in episode 4, which was all about How to Unhook Yourself from Your Thoughts. That episode was all about getting distance, getting distance from your thoughts. How to develop a different relationship with your thoughts. Because once we get distance from them we recognize them for what they truly are – just a string of words. And that helps lessen their influence over us. Well, in this episode we’re going to learn how to handle painful feelings – feelings of anxiety and fear and depression. How to open up and make room for them, how to drop the struggle with them. Opening up to them and making room for them sounds a bit counter-intuitive doesn’t it? The opposite of what you probably want to do. “Why would I want to do that, Candice?” I know, it sounds a bit strange, a lot different than probably what you’ve been told. But keep listening and I’ll explain exactly how it works and how you can start implementing this in your own life right away. Key Points Instead of trying to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and feelings we open up and accommodate them. We make room for them and allow them to just come and go. It doesn’t mean you like them, or that you want them or that you approve of them. You just stop investing your time and effort in fighting them. The more space you give those fears and anxieties, the less impact and influence they have on your life. We use this when it helps us to live the life we want to live. It’s not about resignation or tolerating or “gritting your teeth and putting up with it.” Remember the acronym NAME – Notice, Acknowledge, Make space, Expand awareness Episode Transcript You can download a copy of this episode’s transcript by clicking here. Home Play Between now and the next episode I recommend practicing making room for your feelings, just like we did right now in this episode. As soon as you realize you’re struggling, just run through the exercise. You may want to write down the key steps. Here’s a worksheet you can use to practice. Subscribe The post CLB 006: How to Handle Feelings of Anxiety and Fear appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
4 Jun 2015
CLB 031: How to Find Focus Amidst Distraction
Are you having trouble finding focus amidst distraction? Is it just me or does it seem like we are becoming more and more bombarded by distractions? Email notifications, Twitter and Facebook messages, ringing phones, beeps from mobile devices. As I’m writing this I probably have a dozen tabs open in my internet browser. All these gadgets, all this information battling for our attention. Not to mention other possible distractions like noises in the environment, the chatter of co-workers, crying children, someone calling a meeting, all the papers scattered all over our desk, advertisements, the television blaring, and on and on. In a sense, it’s an addiction. There’s instant positive feedback – right away you’re rewarded with something pleasurable – saying laughing at a friend’s post on Facebook – and you don’t feel the negative consequences until much later. The negative feedback – time lost, more important tasks being put off – all that is delayed. In addition to preventing us from getting done what we want to get done, distractions and lack of focus can affect our peace of mind, our stress levels and our happiness. The fact is we need some quiet, we need time to reflect and contemplate, some time where our minds can rest. Those distractions are stresses our minds were not meant to handle. We’re not adapted to dealing effectively with all these distractions. So what can we do about all this? Listen on… Key Points Re: Find Focus Amidst Distraction Break the addiction by breaking the cycle of positive feedback Identify your triggers Identify what you’re getting out of the addiction Is the addiction meeting some emotional need? Find a new, positive habit to break the old habit Change each trigger one at a time Create negative instant feedback for the old habit Improve your focus by creating rituals Schedule out “blocks of focus” Modify your environment to support focus Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play Find something awesome to focus on. Clear everything else away. Focus on that awesome something. Please Support Me By Subscribing The post CLB 031: How to Find Focus Amidst Distraction appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
27 Dec 2016
CLB 005: How to Calm Anxiety with Food
In episode 4 we delved into how to untangle yourself from thoughts so that the no longer have a control over you and your actions. In this episode we’re going to take a bit of a break from mindfulness practice to focus on nutrition, in particular how to calm anxiety with food. More and more research indicates that diet affects mental health. Now, the research examining diet has focused more so on generalized anxiety and depression than social anxiety specifically, but I think there are definitely some lessons we can gleam from these studies that are certainly applicable to social anxiety, too. Find out the specifics by listening to this episode… Key Points Processed foods increase reactive oxygen species, causing oxidative stress that may contribute to the development of anxiety. Reactive hypoglycaemia is when there is an excess fall in blood glucose (blood sugar) levels that causes your body to compensate by releasing epinephrine and norepinephrine (sometimes also referred to as adrenalin and noradrenalin). It also triggers the “flight or fight” response, which itself can manifest as anxiety, palpitations, sweating, tiredness, depression, forgetfulness, nervousness, poor concentration and irritability. Eat foods that have a low glycemic index. Excessive caffeine intake can cause symptoms that are indistinguishable from those of anxiety disorders like nervousness, irritability, insomnia and palpitations. And research shows that people with anxiety tend to be more susceptible to the anxiety-inducing effects of caffeine. Consider doing a 3 or 4 week trial of completely avoiding caffeine – coffee, regular tea, chocolate – to determine if caffeine is a contributing factor to your anxiety or not. Long term alcohol use can reduce levels of critical nutrients needed for brain function, such as B vitamins. Treatment of alcohol use in patients with SAD has been shown to reduce anxiety levels. Anxiety has been reported to be one of the adverse effects of the artificial sweetener aspartame. Avoid artificial sweeteners. Ruling out the possibility of food allergies and intolerances is an essential step to take when investigating underlying causes of SAD. Testing to consider: Kryptopyrrol to rule out the possibility of pyroluria Food intolerance testing Celiac panel if suffering from digestive symptoms Glucose tolerance test to rule out hypoglycemia Episode Transcript You can download a copy of this episode’s transcript by clicking here. HomePlay Choose one of the areas discussed in this episode and work solely on that. The one that you believe if you were to change could make the most impact in your life and how you feel. If you know that you probably drink too much coffee, start weaning off of it. If you know you eat drink too many soft drinks start with cutting those out of your diet. If you know you aren’t having a source of protein with each meal and each snack start by adding more healthy protein into your diet. I’d love to hear how you make out with the changes you make… please let me know by leaving a comment below. Then, when you’re ready, I invite to join me for episode 6… Subscribe The post CLB 005: How to Calm Anxiety with Food appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
30 May 2015
CLB 023: The Seeds of Calm in Anxiety
What do I mean by the seeds of calm lie in anxiety? Well… the idea for today’s podcast episode came to me as I was reflecting on how to better help people open up and make space for feelings of anxiety rather than continuing to struggle with them. That’s something we’ve talked about in previous episodes, however it’s also one of those things that can be easier said than done. So upon reflecting on my own experience I realized that the biggest shift for me in regards to being able to make space for anxiety came when I shifted my perspective of anxiety – when I changed how I viewed anxiety. In today’s episode I’d like to share how I shifted by perspective on anxiety, how I shifted my consciousness and how I came to look at it as a gift. Yes, I said “a gift.” Key Points Re: Seeds of Calm Yin and yang are opposite sides of the same coin so to speak. They are opposites, yet they are interdependent upon each other. They can’t exist without one another. And one can be transformed into the other and vice versa. Yin and yang are rooted in one another There are seeds of sadness in happiness and opportunities in every risk. And there are seeds of calm in anxiety. Just as yin can be transformed into yang, we have the power to transform anxiety into calm. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Change the way you look at anxiety and the anxiety itself changes. What if viewing anxiety only as a curse or an unhealed wound sets us up to be dominated by a sense of resentment and fear? When we have this kind of relationship with anxiety, do we not then tend to look at it as an enemy, and so we become defensive towards it? And when we become defensive, don’t we get even more tense instead of calm like we really want to feel? What if, instead, we chose to shift our perspective and view anxiety as a source of healing, as a gift? If anxiety is a message born within you, speaking to you through you, then it’s within you to heal. Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play From a healing intention, I encourage you to join me in observing anxiety differently. What if anxiety is a doorway to healing? What if instead of a curse or unhealed wound, anxiety is a gift? What if the seeds of calm lie within anxiety itself? Please Support Me By Subscribing The post CLB 023: The Seeds of Calm in Anxiety appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
14 Sep 2016
CLB 032: How to Prevent Your Ego from Holding You Back
What if your ego is contributing to your anxiety? Find out how to prevent your ego from holding you back… Our ego, when we let it, has a tendency to hold us back from living the life we truly want to live. If we’re not aware of how it traps us, we can easily fall under its illusion of reality. And when this happens there’s the risk of furthering uncomfortable feelings like anxiety. Key Points Re: Prevent Your Ego From Holding You Back The problem with a fixed identity is that we have to rearrange reality to conform to this fixed view of ourselves. It’s an ineffective attempt at dealing with the uncertainty of life and by trying to hold on to that fixed identity it just causes more struggle and pain for us in the long term. Everything is filtered through our fixed identity. How attached are you to your opinions of yourself? Who would you be without these opinions? We create these fixed ideas – these unchanging views – about ourselves and others as an attempt to escape the ambiguity of being human, the impermanence of life. We need to stay present with our uncomfortable feelings and experience without the storyline attached. Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play Remember, when you feel uneasy it’s just a signal you’re contacting the fluidity of life. Don’t hide from these feelings by feeding your ego, your fixed identity… let yourself experience life as it is. See these moments as opportunities. Be fully present. Feel your heart. And engage the next moment without an agenda. Please Support Me By Subscribing The post CLB 032: How to Prevent Your Ego from Holding You Back appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
27 Dec 2016
CLB 012: Anxiety Medication – Should I Take It?
In this podcast episode I answer a question that I get a lot from fellow podcast listeners and my Calm Living clients … Should I take anxiety medication? Key Points Re: Anxiety Medication Each individual’s situation is different Re-frame the question from “Should I take anxiety medication?” to “What do I want to get from taking medication?” “What am I looking to achieve?” What is the therapeutic effect you are seeking? Episode Transcript You can download a copy of this episode’s transcript by clicking here. Subscribe The post CLB 012: Anxiety Medication – Should I Take It? appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
30 Jun 2015
CLB 019: How to Sleep Like a Baby Even if You Have Anxiety
Do you sleep like a baby? Or… Have you ever found yourself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and wanting to scream out in frustration because you just can’t fall asleep? You peak at your alarm clock out of the corner of your eye and it reads 3 o’clock! 3 in the freaking morning… And you have to be up at 6! Now you get even more anxious about not falling asleep, thinking, “I have to fall asleep. I’ve got to get those three hours!” Yeah, I’ve been there, too. Insomnia can seem hard to cope with and it can be especially draining when you suffer from anxiety. So in today’s episode we’re going to cover the top tips and strategies to help you sleep like a baby, even if you experience anxiety. Key Points Re: Sleep Like a Baby Insomnia is defined as the inability to fall asleep, remain asleep or get the amount of sleep an individual needs to wake feeling rested. It may involve waking up frequently during the night, waking up too early in the morning, daytime sleepiness, difficulty concentrating and irritability. Insomnia can both cause anxiety and be caused by anxiety. Not to mention, sleep deprivation has been linked to increased rates of depression, obesity, diabetes, cancer and heart disease. It’s important to address “timing” when it comes to your sleep (ie giving yourself 3 key “pushes”) Association is a powerful force; to address it stick to this rule: there are only 2 things you ever do in bed: sleep and make love. If you are awake in bed for more than 20 minutes, get up and do something boring. There are numerous behavioural changes that impact sleep, such as exercise and nutrition Stay tuned for part II in the next episode. Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play Your homeplay this week is to start with one of the changes we talked about this episode – whichever one you feel would make the most impact or maybe would be the easiest to get started with. Our mind and body want to do what they’re used to doing. If you change a little at a time – small steps – and forgive yourself for “messing up” (remember there is no such thing as failure!) the changes will come and you will experience results. Here’s to a better night’s sleep. Please Support Me By Subscribing Let me know how it goes changing your sleeping habits – I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below and tell me about your experience. The post CLB 019: How to Sleep Like a Baby Even if You Have Anxiety appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
4 Aug 2016
CLB 011: The Most Important Step To Free Yourself From Anxiety
This podcast episode is going to be one of the most important things you listen you.No hype here. It just is.In my opinion this is the most important step of the Calm Living Blueprint, of setting yourself free from fear, free from your struggles with anxiety.Key Points Values alone aren’t enough. Our journey begins only when we start taking action. When we move forward guided by our values, we feel a sense of meaning and purpose, even in the face of major challenges. Even if we think a goal is impossible we can still keep moving towards it. You don’t have to believe that you’ll achieve it. You just need to take action. Every little step counts. Each and every step is an important part of the journey. Oftentimes, moving in a meaningful direction will give rise to uncomfortable feelings – fear, self-doubt, anxiety. Therefore, we better learn to make room for those painful feelings if we want to achieve our goals. We can’t stop the difficult thoughts and feelings from popping up, but we can stop investing our energy in struggling with them and instead focus on the task at hand. Commitment doesn’t mean you never give up or never go off track. Commitment means that when you do give up you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on track again. The actions of social confidence come first. The feelings of social confidence come later. Episode TranscriptYou can download a copy of this episode’s transcript by clicking here.Home PlayIf you chose option 2, it’s time to get moving …Take a moment to clarify your next step and then take action. Take the action you commit to.Subscribe The post CLB 011: The Most Important Step To Free Yourself From Anxiety appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
27 Jun 2015
CLB 028: How to Meditate Effortlessly Even if You’ve Never Meditated Before
Do you have a desire to learn how to meditate effortlessly? A question I often receive from clients and listeners of the podcast is, “How do I meditate?” I think we’re all pretty familiar with the benefits of meditation so I’m not going to use this time to go over that… the issue seems more about how to bring the act of meditation into our busy lives. Where do I even start? How do I even start? Some people even hold on to the belief that they “can’t meditate.” “I have ADHD. I can’t focus.” Or some similar so-called “reason” why they believe they can’t meditate. Well, I’m here to tell you that ANYONE can meditate. Not only that… we can all meditate effortlessly. A bold claim, maybe, but I think all it takes is a simple mindset shift about what meditation is in the first place. And that’s what I want to share with you in this episode… even if you’ve never meditated before or have tried and felt it “didn’t work” or you’re hesitant to start… I invite to accept this challenge and simply try out what I’m proposing in this episode and see what that experience is like for yourself. Key Points Re: How to Meditate Effortlessly Most people, when they think of meditation, they envision sitting still somewhere quiet, having a blank mind and just breathing for 20 or 30 minutes. And, yes, that is a wonderful practice. However, that’s not all meditation is and for most people, it isn’t a good starting point. The first step we need to take is to just re-consider our definition of meditation. Do you have to have a blank mind? Do you have to sit in a specific area or in a specific way? Do you have to meditate for a specified period of time? Do you breathe without thinking about it every minute of the day? Of course you do. And that’s all meditation essentially is… it doesn’t have to be any more difficult than taking a breath. Any act – any act – can be a meditation. Here’s what meditation comes down to: Noticing. Simply noticing. Don’t judge, label, question. Just notice every detail using your five senses as if you are a curious scientist or experiencing it for the first time. And when thoughts come up gently pull your attention back to your breath. Use your breath to anchor you. Episode Transcript You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here. Home Play Each day, I invite you to practice meditation of at least two pleasurable experiences. For example: If you’re having a shower, use all five senses to engage in it: notice the patterns of the droplets on the shower screen, the sensations of the water on your skin, the smell of the shampoo and soap, and the sound of the spray coming out of the nozzle. Please Support Me By Subscribing The post CLB 028: How to Meditate Effortlessly Even if You’ve Never Meditated Before appeared first on Calm Living Blueprint | Social Anxiety Support.
21 Nov 2016