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Cliterally

Two girls in their twenties. Politics. Equality. Religion. Feminism. Intellectual foreplay.

Weekly hand curated podcast episodes for learning

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The best episodes ranked using user listens.

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EP. 16 - Buy Us The Vagina Candle

In this episode Abby and Clara go back to their roots. Abby exposes her gooey soft side and her quest for a meaningful relationship. They talk about their favorite shitty TV shows, Coronavirus, and beauty standards. They discuss body hair and recount middle school pube horror stories. They bring up the Death Penalty and the cruelty of the prison system. They also expose Joe Biden & Bill Clinton as the architects of mass incarceration.

1hr 3mins

20 Mar 2020

Rank #1

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EP. 3 - The Vagina One

In this episode Abby and Clara discuss why Stevie Nicks should be president, how tired they are of annoying white men, when Clara looked at her vagina for the first time, the importance of comprehensive sex ed, sugar daddies, and a new fun way to reach out to them.

58mins

20 Dec 2019

Rank #2

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EP. 11 - Birmingham : The City of Love ft. Jordy Searcy

In this Valentine’s episode, Clara and Abby have Jordy on to talk about love! They introduce their new producer Karl, discuss Mr.Rogers, love languages, their own interpretations of love, what being equally yoked means, and who Jordy’s dream girl is……it is not Abby or Clara (unfortunately).

1hr 4mins

14 Feb 2020

Rank #3

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EP. 6 - Jesus Is Not A Ponzi Scheme ( Can I Grab A Condom? ) ft. Vinny

In this episode Clara and Abby have their first guest, Vinny! They discuss Vinny’s evolution from Catholic alter boy to godless heathen, the sex appeal of Adam Driver, the need for male birth control, which Avenger America is, and the coffee shop Christians.

1hr 31mins

10 Jan 2020

Rank #4

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EP. 14 - FUCK….I’m good! ft. Briston Maroney

In this episode, Abby and Clara hang with noble drifter Briston Maroney! They talk about their vices : Clara’s petty theft, Briston’s on and off relationship with cigarettes, and Abby’s first (and only) experience with cocaine. Briston talks about his songwriting process, missed connections with Annie DiRusso, and gets honest about his sobriety. They all answer the age old question... who is the best dinner guest? Then, of course, they close it out with some top notch ASMR.

58mins

6 Mar 2020

Rank #5

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EP. 4 - Merry CLIT-mas

In this HOLIDAY episode, Abby and Clara discuss Starbucks Christmas cups, Christian supremacy, baby talk, when Clara found out Santa was not real, holiday family dynamics, their Christmas lists, and the real meaning behind O Holy Night.

1hr 9mins

27 Dec 2019

Rank #6

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EP. 17 - Masturbating, Drinking, & Cardigans

In this episode Abby and Clara address their growing coronavirus concerns. They give you 10 things to do while you’re quarantined. You get to hear their first kiss stories as a treat. They tell other stories including but not limited to : passing out, grinding at middle school dances, and finally the do’s and don’ts of period blood. PSA : They hope you are doing okay and staying safe xoxo.

57mins

27 Mar 2020

Rank #7

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EP. 5 - God Isn't Christian

In this episode Abby and Clara talk about their New Year’s intentions, body dysmorphia, dick punching the patriarchy, the theology of heaven and hell, their first tattoo stories, and the gospel of High School Musical.

59mins

3 Jan 2020

Rank #8

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EP.7 - It Is Sexy To Bleed

In this episode Clara and Abby talk about their most horrific period stories, mass incarceration, being spiritually fluid, the legalization of marijuana, Clara’s issues with the bachelor, and why you should not objectify sex positive people.

1hr 9mins

17 Jan 2020

Rank #9

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EP. 20 - Trump Has a Micropenis

In this SPECIAL 20TH episode, Clara and Abby force Karl to tackle recording them over zoom. For their 20th episode, they answer your questions that you sent in!!! They address their origin story, how men can be advocates for women, their dream podcast guest, and favorite Nashville coffee. It wouldn’t be an episode without a dash of politics and a sprinkle of theology! They also spend too much time talking about Tr*mp’s p*nis and their own privilege.

1hr 7mins

17 Apr 2020

Rank #10

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EP. 8 - Sexy Swedish Cults

In this episode, Abby and Clara talk about the spectacular film Midsommar, how Clara advocates for cults, the Nashville women’s march, MLK day, equity vs. equality, separation of church and state, and why they deserve a Hello Fresh sponsorship. Send them questions to answer or themes to address for their iconic 10th episode!!!

1hr 1min

24 Jan 2020

Rank #11

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EP. 13 - For Sure! ft. Annie DiRusso

In this episode, Abby and Clara welcome their favorite rockstar bitch Annie DiRusso! Annie gives them 10 fun facts about her (as a treat). Abby and Clara touch on sharting and sexual peeing. Annie discusses her New York roots, they dissect the culture shock of the South, and of course, they get political. At the end, the gals learn a secret about Clara (hint: it’s about Helen Keller).

1hr 2mins

28 Feb 2020

Rank #12

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EP. 18 - Kissing Frogs

In this episode Abby and Clara have therapy. They celebrate Clara’s 24th birthday!!!!!! They eat cake, paint nails, and talk about their toxic traits. Clara teaches Abby about alphas and betas. Abby realizes she has to grow up and quit accepting half ass “love”. The girls also talk a lot about their moms, crying over racism in the name of God, and why they could not vote for Elizabeth Warren. They both make each other cry at the end. This episode is so soft - ENTER IF YOU DARE.

1hr 7mins

4 Apr 2020

Rank #13

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EP. 12 - Eco-Feminism & Common Mischief! ft. Olivia

In this episode, Clara and Abby talk with eco-feminist queen Olivia Whatley! They discuss their favorite vampire movies, being camp at the Met Gala, why Jesus is a socialist, the problems with capitalism, why you should go vegan, and why you should vote for Bernie Sanders. Also, Karl slut shames a werewolf.

1hr 5mins

21 Feb 2020

Rank #14

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EP. 9 - Death Rants!! ft. Rachel

In this episode Abby and Clara welcome their guest Rachel! They talk about gender reveal parties, sex v. gender, transgender baby dolls, their future baby names, the funeral industry, cadaver juice, their most insane ghost stories, and how they are all freakazoids.

1hr 2mins

31 Jan 2020

Rank #15

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EP. 19 - God With a Side of White Claw ft. Karl

In this episode we mic up our sweet and saucy producer Karl! We really dig into Tiger King (if you haven’t watched yet prepare for spoilers)! The girls ask Karl about his personal theology. They tackle tough subjects such as prayer, favorite theologians, opinions on C.S. Lewis, and thoughts on belief/ spirituality. They discuss of Jesus was fully God and fully human. (SPOILER - they all have different opinions!) They end the episode describing who God is to them.

1hr 16mins

10 Apr 2020

Rank #16

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EP. 15 - Dolly Parton Fan Club! ft. Natalie & Austin

In this episode, Abby and Clara chat with Nashville power couple Natalie Madigan and Austin Sawyer! This episode is- dare we say it- the most chaotic yet. The pals open up with a few rounds of the Newlywed Game (it gets juicy!), Austin and Natalie give relationship advice, Natalie talks about SoFar shows, and Austin gives a comprehensive history lesson on the life of Dolly Parton. As always, there is baby talk! P.S. they talk about Jesus in the tomb so stick around for that!

1hr 3mins

13 Mar 2020

Rank #17

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EP. 10 - Everything You Have Ever Wanted To Know

In this special 10th episode, Clara and Abby answer questions sent in by Clit Nation. They discuss Taylor Swift, faking orgasms, their wildest fantasies/ kinks, how to have hard conversations, their sustainability practices, their funniest date stories, their thoughts on lingerie, and their favorite music artists. Listen until the very end to find out how you can support them!

1hr 5mins

7 Feb 2020

Rank #18

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EP. 26 - Compassion Attacks ft. Gatlin

In this episode, Abby and Clara invite their sweet musician friend Gatlin on. They address George Floyd and Gatlin’s Florida roots. They also dig into their own personal theologies, get angry over what is expected of women in the music industry, and finally their thoughts on sex. The girls bond over their shared body image and how they carry shame. Make sure to stream Gatlin’s new single that they talked about SO MUCH!

1hr 1min

29 May 2020

Rank #19

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EP. 25 - Drugs & Feelings ft. Annika & Molly

In this episode, Abby and Clara are joined by Nashville musician besties Annika Bennett and Molly Martin! They dive right into their personal experiences with drugs- they cover shrooms, LSD trips, and good old fashioned Mary Jane. Annika and Molly share 5 fun facts about each other and discuss their writing processes. They talk about their experiences with dating, have a big group therapy session, and try to figure out how to be a person first and artist second. Stay until the end to hear Molly do some BDSMR.

46mins

22 May 2020

Rank #20