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What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced.  Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net

Popular episodes

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The best episodes ranked using user listens.

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Connection & Disconnection, Learn How it Works

 In relationships we take the easy way out a lot. We lie & tell people what they want to hear instead of truth. We silently stash resentments & get divorced. We decide sex is a chore we don’t want to be bothered with. We dump our insecurities on each other to fix instead of fixing them ourselves. We let our anxieties run rampant & spill all over our partners instead of trying to learn how to self soothe. We tolerate disrespect & sometimes contempt instead of asking our partner to course correct. These are all negative patterns that lead to disconnection.

13mins

19 Sep 2017

Rank #1

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Blended Families, Stepfamilies; A Map for Greater Understanding

Interview with Dr. Patricia Papernow, in her fourth decade working with blended families. Blended families are complicated, where adults may be thrilled to find a new love, children may experience that as a turning away from them. Loyalty Binds can create problems, which may work out better with a slower pace.

42mins

7 Nov 2017

Rank #2

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How to Argue Better

To fight better learn to acknowledge two points of view, how to be vulnerable & more respectful.

9mins

27 Jul 2015

Rank #3

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How to Be a TEAM in a Relationship

Couples have to evolve over time. Evolving as a Team means that the two of you together solve the puzzle of your strengths & weaknesses & how they can work together. Of all the Couples you know, how many are actually a team? 

13mins

13 Jun 2016

Rank #4

Most Popular Podcasts

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Disappointment & Exaggerated Feelings Can Destroy Relationships

Disappointment can be dangerous to relationships. We, as human beings can be very irrational when it comes to disappointment. We nurse our disappointments & they grow to take up too much real estate inside of us. Feelings are important to know who you are & how you are unique. Feelings are also often exaggerated & most often selfish. Learning to balance your feelings by thinking things through is a great goal to improve relationships. 

18mins

5 Aug 2019

Rank #5

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Relationship Success; What is the #1 Secret

Relationship survival is something people should be able to learn more about in College. It’s one of the best parts of life, yet it is a mystery to most people. Listen to learn the primary secret to success!

10mins

19 Jul 2016

Rank #6

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#15 How to Approach Problems in a Relationship

How do you approach hard topics in a relationship? You will learn 4 specific ways to communicate about problems. It’s important to dialogue not have parallel monologues.

15mins

29 Dec 2015

Rank #7

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Communication, want to Fix it?

What lies underneath communication problems are power struggles. Someone has to win, someone has to lose.

7mins

11 Aug 2015

Rank #8

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When Trust is Broken

Can a relationship survive broken trust? Listen to learn about remorse, dishonesty & respect. Contempt destroys relationships.

6mins

11 May 2015

Rank #9

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Communicate Better By Understanding The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Communication can be almost impossible with a partner if we only want to steer the story in our favor. Communication requires an openness to the validity of someone else’s story even if you don’t like it. Communication gets unstuck & we can communicate better when you are able to let two opposite things be true at the same time and let them sit quietly next to each other instead of trying to get one to win and erase the other. 

12mins

2 Jul 2019

Rank #10

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Relationships Require We Recongnize Our Own Dark Side

If you recognize your own dark side you will be a better candidate for love & relationships. It’s important to recognize our part in problems instead of taking comfort in blame.

8mins

1 Feb 2016

Rank #11

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Relationships Require Vulnerability

Manipulation is the core of the Drama Triangle. This game creates confusion & upset, not solutions or a path to truth. Denial is a huge part in the role of Rescuer.Drama is all about power & winning.

9mins

1 Mar 2016

Rank #12

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Sex Life Boost Needed for Your Relationship? Low Desire Problem?

Sex life Boost is something everybody can benefit from. It's too easy to let desire fade away. Listen to learn how to restore vitality. Novelty doesn't work. This interview with Stephen Snyder is really important to finding the energy to make your sex life matter.

32mins

4 Sep 2019

Rank #13

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Choices & Their Impact On Relationships

Choices define our lives & our relationships. Many of the choices we make are done without thinking or awareness because they are habits. What makes you more mentally healthy is being aware of having choices and making them. Listen & learn what choices will improve your relationship. 

14mins

5 Nov 2019

Rank #14

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Anger Management & Relationships

Anger can be a huge problem in relationships. This episode asks what's important about anger management for relationships? Anger can be incredibly self absorbed & ugly. It's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of "I'm right" & needing to win. We all want the power to control & be the Top Dog. So listen to this episode to learn how to reign it in. Interview with Matthew Plotner.

24mins

4 Jun 2019

Rank #15

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Love Means Paying Attention & Accepting Disappointment

It’s so easy to start taking each other for granted. We develop habits of how we see each other & we make assumptions instead of being curious. When we don’t feel seen it’s really a big deal & we end up hungry. This definitely happens as the years pass & it’s your job to  freshen things up.  It is beyond foolish to imagine you will never be disappointed in your partner because they are so wonderful & you miss being saturated in romantic love. We all have ideas of who we want to be & who we expect our loved ones to be. But that’s just it; they are only ideas, mostly built on fantasies & illusions.

15mins

6 Jun 2018

Rank #16

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Misery In Your Relationship & 10 Ways To Fix It

Misery can so easily build in any relationship. Misery zaps your energy to think & it's easy to indulge your sad feelings. The two of you as a couple can fall to the bottom of your priority list. The misery usually spills over into bickering & fighting with each other because we don’t kick the neighbor’s dog, we kick each other.

17mins

5 Mar 2019

Rank #17

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Even Superman Can't Guess What Lois Lane Really Wants

Romantic love creates unreasonable expectations. In this episode I'll show you how to fix that & stop making yourself miserable.

8mins

22 Apr 2015

Rank #18

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Codependence is NOT Love

Codependence means one partner has lost track of who they are which creates lopsided relationships.

8mins

22 Jun 2015

Rank #19

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Infidelity & Forgiveness: Interview with Dr. Janis Spring

Infidelity is complicated & difficult to heal from. Dr Spring wrote the first book that defines infidelity as a loss of trust & a shattering of the self. The person who has been betrayed struggles to recapture their sense of themselves. The partner who had the affair needs to listen non-defensively, without interruption to the profound level of hurt. Quick apologies are not going to solve this for the person who is hurt & feels their life has blown up. Listen to learn what does work.

28mins

6 May 2019

Rank #20