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Rank #69 in Relationships category

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Relationships

The Dating Den

Updated about 1 month ago

Rank #69 in Relationships category

Society & Culture
TV & Film
Relationships
Read more

Dating coach, Marni Battista, is the queen of making her clients irresistible to men and not just any men, high quality men. Marni is a certified professional Dating and Relationship Coach and Expert, writer, and nationally recognized print and online magazine expert (Cosmopolitan Magazine, Yahoo! Shine, Huffington Post, YourTango.com, CupidsPulse.com, Men’s Fitness, Glamour and more). She has also had guest appearances on CBS, ABC, and Loveline (filling in for Dr. Drew!) Marni’s weekly dating and relationship web show, “The Dating Den,” has over 2.6 million views, and she was named one of the 10 Best Women’s Dating Experts by @DatingAdviceCom.​

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Dating coach, Marni Battista, is the queen of making her clients irresistible to men and not just any men, high quality men. Marni is a certified professional Dating and Relationship Coach and Expert, writer, and nationally recognized print and online magazine expert (Cosmopolitan Magazine, Yahoo! Shine, Huffington Post, YourTango.com, CupidsPulse.com, Men’s Fitness, Glamour and more). She has also had guest appearances on CBS, ABC, and Loveline (filling in for Dr. Drew!) Marni’s weekly dating and relationship web show, “The Dating Den,” has over 2.6 million views, and she was named one of the 10 Best Women’s Dating Experts by @DatingAdviceCom.​

iTunes Ratings

179 Ratings
Average Ratings
140
16
8
7
8

Julie & Yue

By Mary Gladstone - May 06 2020
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Loved this episode! Stuck in quarantine & miss my small circle of girlfriends. Listening to Marni is like having a glass of wine with a good friend (the few who tell you the REAL truth even when it’s tough to hear). Marni advocates keeping boundaries while maintaining your femininity. ❤️

One of the BEST podcasts I’ve found!

By momtagrapher - Feb 23 2020
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As a single woman in my 40’s raising two teen girls, this podcast feels like it’s speaking directly to me. Not only is Marni energetic and hilarious, the guests she brings on are high quality and offer real insight and solutions. I love that most episodes focus on SELF. While there is discussion of human behavior, the jest is to be your best self and the goodness will follow. This is so much bigger than another dating podcast; it’s a new life lesson in each episode. Don’t sleep on this one!

iTunes Ratings

179 Ratings
Average Ratings
140
16
8
7
8

Julie & Yue

By Mary Gladstone - May 06 2020
Read more
Loved this episode! Stuck in quarantine & miss my small circle of girlfriends. Listening to Marni is like having a glass of wine with a good friend (the few who tell you the REAL truth even when it’s tough to hear). Marni advocates keeping boundaries while maintaining your femininity. ❤️

One of the BEST podcasts I’ve found!

By momtagrapher - Feb 23 2020
Read more
As a single woman in my 40’s raising two teen girls, this podcast feels like it’s speaking directly to me. Not only is Marni energetic and hilarious, the guests she brings on are high quality and offer real insight and solutions. I love that most episodes focus on SELF. While there is discussion of human behavior, the jest is to be your best self and the goodness will follow. This is so much bigger than another dating podcast; it’s a new life lesson in each episode. Don’t sleep on this one!
Cover image of The Dating Den

The Dating Den

Latest release on Jul 10, 2020

Read more

Dating coach, Marni Battista, is the queen of making her clients irresistible to men and not just any men, high quality men. Marni is a certified professional Dating and Relationship Coach and Expert, writer, and nationally recognized print and online magazine expert (Cosmopolitan Magazine, Yahoo! Shine, Huffington Post, YourTango.com, CupidsPulse.com, Men’s Fitness, Glamour and more). She has also had guest appearances on CBS, ABC, and Loveline (filling in for Dr. Drew!) Marni’s weekly dating and relationship web show, “The Dating Den,” has over 2.6 million views, and she was named one of the 10 Best Women’s Dating Experts by @DatingAdviceCom.​

Rank #1: With Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore: How to Create an Action Plan to Have a Meaningful, Intimate Relationship in 2020

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In this informative conversation about releasing the limiting beliefs that hold us back from getting what we truly want, Marni speaks with expert planner, Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore. Dr. Rockquemore offers actionable steps that lead to discovering what you truly want from life and relationships and the structures and strategies to help you manifest it. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Leveraging a Type A personality in planning
  • Getting clear on what a meaningful life is for you
  • Discovering your worthiness to have a meaningful life
  • Uncovering your truth through high-quality questions
  • Overcoming resistance
  • Actionable steps for growing a joyful relationship

 

Create an Annual Plan Using the 4 Essential Elements of a Meaningful Life [3:10]

 Getting clear about what a meaningful life means for you is the first step to creating your annual plan. Dr. Rockquemore admits that even she doesn’t enjoy planning but says without it you can get stuck in a life you don’t enjoy. Starting with these four elements will illuminate what you desire in the new year. 

  1. Relationships
  2. Purpose
  3. Growth
  4. Health

Have you asked yourself what you want from a relationship? Tap into your inner wisdom by using a combination of emotions, reason, and intuition. 

 

Overcoming Resistance  [17:22]

At a basic level, resistance is a subtle but powerful feeling that bubbles up making you want to do anything and everything but what you need to do to get what you desire. Fear is the underlying cause of resistance. When you start the process of creating a meaningful life it can be scary. Dr. Rockquemore confides that you have to be vulnerable. 

The next step of your creating your action plan is to write out your limiting beliefs.  

What things in your past are holding you back? It’s time to shed your story and create a new one that serves you. 

 

Creating a Growth Plan with a Partner [33:33]

Once you have devised personal strategies it is time to create collective goals with your partner. Moving toward something together can bring great joy to a relationship. Attaining small joint goals builds momentum toward achieving contentment and growth with a partner. 

One pitfall Dr. Rockquemore warns of is to understand it is not your role to hold your partner accountable. That, she says, is a recipe for resentment and conflict. Putting the proper structures in place to support accountability is the key to planning. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

The Best Chapter — Kerry Ann’s Website 

@RunningintoFire on Instagram

Dec 20 2019

44mins

Play

Rank #2: Dating Den Episode 85 — With Mike Goldstein: A Proven Strategy for How to Get a Boyfriend in Less than Four Months

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Mike Goldstein is back in the den for updated online dating advice. He is a successful private, one-on-one dating coach who has gotten 83% of his clients into a relationship! He is a public speaker, an author and has been featured on The Today Show, in Readers Digest and Shape Magazine. His unique methods for analyzing data from multiple online dating sites ensures his clients are in the top 5 % of successful daters. Ladies, heed this man’s advice!  

How to Find Someone You Like on Match [2:41]

Mike says all of his methods are based on math and science. It’s basically a numbers game. With his 50/12/1 rule, the woman sends out 50 emails to men based on their profile picture. 12 men normally respond and then she chooses the 1 she likes best from the responses.

Having a quick, 10-minute phone call can help ease a woman’s mind if she doesn’t feel comfortable yet. After that, let the man know you are ready to go on the date. Mike says to limit dating to one good date a week though to avoid confusion.

Men want to know what the endgame is and are happy to get to the date as soon as possible, so ask him out!  

Playing the Game & Getting the Info  [11:53]

Ladies, once you get to the date enjoy yourself. Be honest and if you had a good time end the date with a heartfelt thank you and tell the guy that you had a great time. And then, DO NOTHING! Don’t text him later, don’t call him, don’t do anything. Mike says this is important information gathering time. You will find out if he likes you and how much by waiting him out.

Online Dating Photos and the Profile [17:58]

The most important thing about your photos and possibly your entire profile is that your face should only fill 8-15% of the picture box. If you have 6 amazing photos and one lifestyle photo that is enough for the guy to figure out if he is attracted to you. He checks out your photos first and then reads your profile if he is attracted.

It is key to be specific in your profile. A man wants stats, clear information, easy to understand pieces of information. Ladies, don’t use adjectives to describe yourself! Again, be specific. Try starting a sentence would be ‘A typical Friday night would be…’.

So, How Should I Respond? [36:49]

The goal of online dating is to find love and you may not have time to respond to every message. If you feel like every message deserves a response, Mike recommends crafting a simple ‘this isn’t a good fit’ reply message you can copy and paste as needed.

And, don’t get caught in the texting loop. If you are looking for love you don’t have time to waste on a guy who won’t pull the trigger.

Men are the gas women are brakes in a relationship.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Sep 07 2018

46mins

Play

Rank #3: With Matt Boggs: 7 Sexy Habits That Create Connection and Will Get His Attention

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For practical advice on the seven sexy habits that drive men wild, Marni welcomes the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and  creator of the Cracking the Man Code seminar, Matt Boggs into the den. Matt helps millions of people around the world understand the hearts and minds of the opposite sex and how they can attract the relationship they desire. He is a sought after dating and relationship expert. He's been featured on the Today Show, CNN, Headline News, and Oprah & Friends. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • What flirting is and isn’t
  • What men need from a woman
  • Strategies for showing a guy you are interested without going overboard
  • How to express your sexual energy
  • How to say no to a guy if you are not interested in him

 

Driving Men Wild in the Time of #Metoo [2:36]

All of Matt's work revolves around supporting and empowering women in their love life. During the time of #Metoo, men have been shifting their behavior in how much attraction they are willing to show especially in certain environments. There has been a pullback from men when it comes to making the first move.  

Are men afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing? Marni says ‘Yes’. Therefore, women need to make it clear they are interested so guys know it's ok to approach us and show us they are interested. 

Women sometimes falsely think that men have all the power in a relationship. The truth is the woman has way more power and influence in the dating, courting, and attraction phase of the relationship. Throughout history, in relationships where there is a ton of chemistry and connection it is the woman who sends the signal and chooses the man. 

To get a guy’s attention, making eye contact and smiling may not be enough. If you want to be bold beckon him over with your finger. You can be proactive AND feminine.

 

The Over/ Under Challenge [10:57]

One of the biggest challenges in dating is when you feel attraction for another person you either overcompensate, or over demonstrate attraction for them. This is when a woman gushes over a man which is a total turn off. Men value what they earn so when a woman gushes too early it triggers something in a guy that makes them think the woman does it for everyone and therefore they are not special. It deflates the attraction.

The under is toxic to the attraction also. It's when a woman plays the ice queen as if they are not interested at all. Older and more successful women are more likely to act reserved. They may be afraid of getting hurt or they may not want to lead a guy on. 

For a man to move things forward, a woman needs to demonstrate she is attracted to him.  A woman's willingness to share her sexual attraction for a man is paramount. Sex is the main thing that differentiates a friendship from a romantic partnership.

  • Flirting doesn't mean you have to have sex with a man. 
  • Flirting is not slutty.
  • Flirting is not manipulating. 
  • Flirting is recognizing that you are ready for a romantic partner. 

In the dating game everyone is playing the same game. Rejection shouldn't stop you from playing the dating game nor should it devastate you. 

 

The 7 Sexy Habits that Drive a Guy Wild [20:44]

Matt shares seven tactics you can use to express your sexual energy that men love. Expressing these seven things will boost a man’s attraction and desire for you. 

  1. Walking with a sway in your hips. 
  2. Eat more sensually. 
  3. Whisper in his ear. 
  4. The way you sing to yourself. 
  5. The way you dance. 
  6. The way you attack your man in bed. 
  7. The way you go for your dreams. 

A woman in joy is highly attractive to a man. 

 

Barriers to Implementing Sexy Strategies [30:59]

The number one barrier to implementing these strategies is feeling like you are leading a guy on and then that you may be disappointing or rejecting him. 

When you reject a man it's not devastating to him. You are not responsible for his emotions or experience. You are simply freeing him up to find someone who is right for him. It's ok that it is just not a match. If a man approaches you and you are not interested, Matt recommends using this response “I'm flattered and I honor your courage. Unfortunately, I'm not available and I wish you the best of luck in your search for love." 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

15 Phrases That Ignite Desire in Men

Mar 27 2020

42mins

Play

Rank #4: With the Women from Dateable: Are You Letting Your First Date Impression Limit Your Opportunity to Find a High-Quality Guy?

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After a month of staying at home, singles may be getting anxious to get out there and date. And even though there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the best idea may be to use this time to build a deeper relationship with guys with potential. To discover how to navigate the unknown waters of dating in the time of quarantine, Marni welcomes Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hostesses of Dateable. A podcast Huffington Post reveals as one of 2020’s top ten podcasts about love and sex. Julie, Yue, and Marni take a deep dive into all the online dating and relationship issues you want to know about.  

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Virtual dating tips
  • Whether or not to  go on a first date during quarantine
  • How to go deeper during online conversations
  • Love is Blind experiment results
  • What to do if an ex starts texting again

 

Dating During COVID-19 [6:14]

 Based on a poll posted on the Dateable Facebook group Julie says that a majority of the women who answered would meet a guy they met online during quarantine depending on the situation. The second highest majority of women said they would definitely not meet a guy face to face until the quarantine is lifted. Why meet face-to-face when such good things are coming out of video dating? 

Video dating allows us to put the physical on hold and go deep if we let it, says Julie.  But the use is starting to fade in some groups because they don't know if they will ever get to meet the other person so it feels pointless to continue having virtual conversations. It’s important to remember that this is an opportunity to let something special build. 

If you are thinking about meeting a guy face-to-face during quarantine, consider how many first dates are actually a success. Use this time to go deeper online first. 

Marni recommends asking yourself ‘what’s the rush?’.  What else are you doing? If you put your health at risk would you regret it more than just waiting to meet someone? If there is a connection now the connection will be there in a month. 

 

Virtual Dating Tips [20:11]

Yae shares an example of how she customizes her dating experience on Zoom. She changes her virtual background to an exciting destination. She dresses like she is really visiting the exotic locale based on the weather forecast and asks her date to do the same. It’s a fun way to escape and charm your date. 

Julie says she has reconnected with an old beau and has experimented with virtual sex which has been beneficial to the relationship. She says a lot of people are throwing virtual sex parties right now. 

Video dating is a great way to have an adult conversation without fearing the sexual tension that goes along with physical closeness. 

Toxic people can also come back into your life because people get lonely during quarantine. If an ex starts texting again ask yourself these questions: 

  • What didn't work about the relationship the first time?
  • How did we get to this point?
  • How have I changed?
  • How have they changed?
  • Are our goals the same?
  • What are the expectations of these new conversations?
  • How am I feeling about it? 

 

Takeaways from the Blind Date Experiment [28:25]

Julie and Yae started a blind date experiment before quarantine. There is one guy and three women. The guy had to speak with all three women three nights in a row and Julie and Yae gave him some conversation prompts designed to initiate deeper conversations. There was no baseline information such as age, race, height, etc. They wanted to see what connections could be made without the physical aspect. 

The guy had to pick one woman to meet in person and it wasn’t who the ladies of Dateable didn’t think it would be. 

A lot of people make their decision about someone just after one date, but with this experiment, the participants knew they had a minimum of three dates so they invested more time in getting to know one another. 

Julie's takeaway from the Love is Blind experiment is that there is something nice about just having audio, no visual because it causes you to deeply listen to the other person and to be present with them. 

The problem with online dating though is that people think they have enough information to judge someone. Superficial presets on dating apps are all surface level. We don't know if the other person is funny, caring, honest, etc. It causes people to pay more attention to the physical but the Love is Blind experiment allows daters to get past all that. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Dateable Podcast

Listen To Marni On Dateable's Podcast

Apr 24 2020

44mins

Play

Rank #5: With Chris Gillis: How Do I Get a Quality Guy to Pursue Me?

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Marni welcomes Man Panelist Chris Gillis back to the Den to discuss the fine art of getting the right kind of guy to notice you, the do’s and don’ts of texting, and the problem with playing manipulative games.  

Key Takeaways: 

  • Getting a guy to notice you
  • How to be feminine and direct
  • Men’s fears about asking you out
  • Texting do’s and don’ts
  • Giving a clear message to the right kind of guy
  • Asking him out without damaging his ego

 

The Fine Art of Getting a Quality Guy to Notice You  [4:41]

The men of Marni’s Man Panel say it's just as scary to approach women as it was 20 years ago. But now, they are worried about being perceived as a predator in addition to fear of being rejected. 

Chris thinks they may be using these fears as an excuse. Men require a certain level of confidence to go after what they want. If you don't know how to do something, like asking a girl out it makes it easy to default to apathy. 

Guys who are the most worried about being a predator are the nicest, least predatory guys. It's the guys who don't care about offending a woman that end up getting all the attention. It's frustrating to see. 

So, what can women do to give a clear message to the right kind of guy when they want him to ask her out?

Chris says there is an art to putting yourself in the way of a guy. He says men love to grab something for you or to do little things that make you happy. Ask him to pass you a napkin. Or, maybe he needs to pass by you to get his beer? Make it impossible for him not to bypass you. 

It is feminine to engage in a conversation. It's vulnerable to ask for help. A good guy will do it. Men are scanning all the time looking for clues women are interested.  

Ladies, turn up your game by smiling at him, play with your hair, and laugh at his jokes. Make it obvious. 

 

The Lowdown on Texting [13:09]

How are women supposed to know if it's ok to initiate a conversation via text? When is it crossing the line? Will it be perceived as too masculine or too assertive? 

Marni is in the old school camp when it comes to texting. If you have started texting with a guy but it's not continuous make the intention of why you are texing clear. Men want things to be clear.

Chris says things are different today. Dating apps can lead to a slew of messages. If you think a guy has possibilities, it's ok to throw out an idea via text. Guys egos are huge. They need to believe they are hitting on you. even though a woman is slowly capturing them. They want the girl to be the prize. They want to tell their friends how badass they are. 

Throw a softball. You get one free text message to see where it goes.

Chris says guys hate the 'who is this?' reply when a girl clearly has the name and number saved in her phone. Guys get it all the time when they have waited a little too long to respond. If you play the ‘who is this?’ game you will get the guys you don't want.

If your guy isn't into you because you respond to text messages when you are able he's not your guy. And, he shouldn't wait 4-days to text you.  If there are more than 2-day gaps in between his texts he is not your guy. 

We All Make Mistakes [30:47]

It's easy to forget that we all have our flaws and our triggers. There is no need to play games. There will be natural tension in dating just because we are human. Unless you are looking for a guy who lacks confidence or needs validation, give him a break if he makes a mistake. Men don't get a manual either. 

When we act from our adult selves we come from a need-less place.

Ladies, remember men may be in their own evolution. Make it easy for men to pursue you by being open, direct, feminine. 

Men just want you to teach them the right way for them to love you. It allows the feminine part of you to be present. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Oct 18 2019

38mins

Play

Rank #6: Dating Den Episode 110 — Coaching with Amy - What To Do if You Can’t Figure Out If He’s Into You or If He’s the Real Deal for Real

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Amy wants to become a savvy dater. She finds herself over analyzing what a guy is thinking and what clues he may be sending her about how the date is going. She also puts up her love shield in defense of her uncertainty. Marni coaches her through understanding her own motivations for succumbing to anxiety and how she can release her fear by leaning into her faith.  

How to Know What is on a Guy’s Mind [2:41]

Amy really wants to make her dating journey enjoyable but gets hung up on how the guy is feeling about her. To size up how a date is going, she searches for clues from a guy’s body language or his facial expressions. She is looking for positive feedback. She reveals she has a history of domestic violence and dating narcissists. This creates insecurity in her so she puts up her love shield. This behavior is meant to protect her but it can also push people away.

Marni asks Amy to reflect on what makes her feel safe.

Amy says when guys exhibit these behaviors or attributes she feels safe:

  • Kindness
  • Politeness
  • Family oriented
  • Shared values
  • Faith

Coaching Notes:

  • If you have questions about things that are out of your control change your inquiry into a high-quality 'me' question. Consider what is going on inside of you to make you feel a certain way.

  • Even if you have been hurt in the past, be open to believing someone's words as long as their behavior matches.

How to Trust Ourselves [11:43]

Amy knows the negative consequences of attaching too quickly. She admits she has a pattern of doing this and it never works in her favor. She says wants a relationship and connection. She is quick to imagine how she might fit into a guy’s life.

She truly desires to be more relaxed and enjoy casual dating instead of expecting a relationship quickly.

Marni walks her through the ways she is putting the man in charge of her emotional safety. Marni reminds her that she is in charge of herself and not the guy. So why is she trying to give up her power?

Amy shares her longing for validation. She gets stuck in a rut about what the little things mean. She understands she needs to trust herself more.

Don’t get caught up in the outcome of a date. Instead, focus on making a human connection.

Understanding Your Triggers [19:01]

Amy says she may be enjoying a date and feel comfortable sharing her life stories with someone and then she falls into her feelings of uncertainty.

Marni recommends:

  • Dissecting this moment right when it happens to find out what is triggering her fear.
  • Amy should ask herself ‘What is the feeling I have in my body before I attach a story to what is happening?’
  • She should get curious about the story she makes up about not having her happily ever after.
  • When she feels the fear come upon her she needs to relax and move back into her God connection.  
  • She should add a physical, somatic aspect to her calming practice.

She is activating a new muscle and breaking an old pattern. When she feels disconnected from peace and calm she should consider what story she is making up.

When she is not anxious Amy knows she can chill out because God will be bringing her the perfect guy. She should relax and enjoy her dates. She vows to not put up her love shield and relish in her faith in God.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Dating with Dignity Love Shield Episode #104

Mar 29 2019

35mins

Play

Rank #7: Dating Den Episode 104 — With Sherrie Toews: The Little Things You Don't Know You Do and Say That Push Him Away

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Are you a successful woman who doesn’t need a man BUT wants to have a man?

Are you pushing men away without even realizing it?

Do you make unjust negative judgments about your date without considering the positives?

Marni welcomes Sherrie Toews back into the Den. Sherrie has been a licensed therapist in California for 25 years focusing on trauma and family systems.  She is an expert in her field who works with women in the elite program, 5 Keys to Being Irresistible. Sherrie focuses in on what is causing people to be stuck in their patterns, even if they don’t realize they are stuck. She shares the little ways women are influenced by their past traumas and how we can move forward into more positive dating experiences.

The Love Shield  [3:00]

Sherrie describes the Love Shield as a collection of negative thoughts, feelings, actions or behaviors women hide behind. This negative energy and uncomfortableness lay just underneath the surface and shows up in little ways during dates, even when women believe they are having good dates.

Examples of the Love Shield in action:

  • ● Do you minimize compliments people give you?
  • ● Do you resist making eye contact?
  • If you do you may unwittingly be sending out negative energy and putting up a love shield.
  • Your Love Shield comes up because there is a part of you that is scared a previous trauma or you feel your identity is at risk.
  • Sherri says that just understanding your childhood wounds doesn't mean they are healed. It's the emotional connection with the trauma as an adult that heals them.”
  • The Hidden Dangers of Over or Under Expressing Yourself [13:43]
  • There are fragments of our lives that don't seem like they should be causing any trauma but show up in different ways. If you are stuck in your head, overanalyzing every aspect of a date, when he called last, every single word he said — you may be stuck in your head.
  • When you are stuck in your head it means your heart is not leading. And in relationships and love, it’s all about the heart! You could be missing out on queues about how he really feels about you when you think too much.
  • Think about one of your positive attributes. Do you overexpress it to the point of it becoming unsettling? Or, do you under-express it because you are scared it will be too much? It could be hurting your dating life.
  • So What? Now What? How to Move Forward. [20:29]
  • Sherrie says in order to move forward women should take care to notice their judgments. How do you judge yourself? How do you judge other people? Remember your date is a human being who wants love, wants to avoid pain and wants to be happy, just like you. 
  • She suggests journaling about the negative judgments you make about yourself. Write each judgment down and then and make a positive script to replace the negative. 
  • When you are on a date,  collect ten pieces of positive evidence.
  • ● What did you do well?
  • ● What did your date do well?
  • ● What aspects of the date went well? 
  • When you drop the love shield, you soften a bit. It opens you up to wonderful connections and intimate relationships. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Feb 01 2019

31mins

Play

Rank #8: Dating Den Episode 82 — With Dr. Rick Hanson: How You Can Create Confidence and Attract Better Men in Just Ten Minutes a Day

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In the den today, proof that it is possible to change your brain to create results to bring love into your life! Marni speaks with Psychologist, Dr. Rick Hanson about how to use good things to manifest more good things in simple, daily steps.   

Dr. Hanson is the New York Times bestselling author of Hardwiring Happiness and Buddhist Brain. He is the host of the Being Well Podcast and his Being Well Program demonstrates how to use positive neuroplasticity to grow skills and strengths like resilience and self-compassion.

How to Change Your Brain [3:25]

Dr. Rick says that life turns out the way it does based on a combination of 3 factors:

  • ● The challenges that wear on you
  • ● The vulnerabilities that pierce through
  • ● The resources you draw upon to deal with challenges and vulnerabilities.
  • The greatest opportunity to change our brains is to grow psychological resources like mindfulness, compassion, self-worth, and interpersonal skills for navigating the dating world. We always have influence over our minds.
  • To develop more happiness inside and feel more confident you need to fundamentally change your brain for the better.
  • To become a happier, wiser, more resilient person involves changes between your ears!
  • There is nothing we can do about the past but we can always grow more resources for the future. There may be conditions in our lives that are outside of our control but our brains can help us control the outcomes we have from those experiences.
  • The Fundamentals of Personal Growth [8:33]
  • The brain is the regulator of the body. For us to take on a new outlook or to create flow, creativity, possibility, and peace, the brain needs to change. Each neuron is a microprocessor in our brains and we have several hundred trillion microprocessors computing in our favor. The brain is the Enchanted Loom that continually weaves the tapestry of our experience. We are full of possibilities. We can use it to feel more worthy of love, less vulnerable, and entitled to good treatment from other people.
  • To reprogram your brain follow this 3 step process:
  • ● Stay with the experience for a few seconds longer. Don't let the world distract you. Sink into good experiences.
  • ● Feel it in your body - Get a sense of action related to each experience. Internalization is critical!
  • ● Pay attention to what is rewarding about the experience.
  • Look for the good in something, have good feelings about it and take in the good experiences. 
  • A good opportunity to internalize the benefits is during your self-care practice.
  • The Brain’s Negativity Bias [22:44]
  • Dr. Rick reflects back on early history to describe why our brains are alert and naturally hold on to negative experiences. Those processes were a helpful tool in the past but in today’s world they may work against us creating ‘learned helplessness’.
  • The harder your life is, and the less the world is helping you the more important it is to look for opportunities that are under your control and take them in. Internalize them
  • 3 Ways to Deal When You Are Upset [26:34]
  • When feeling upset Dr. Rick recommends:
  • ● Feel your feelings and observe them mindfully
  • ● Release what is negative or painful. Let it out!
  • ● Grow the good.
  • Then we can welcome in something good to replace the released feeling.
  • Let the bad pass you by but hold on to the good until it fills you up! 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Rick Hanson

The Being Well Podcast

Foundations of Well Being

Aug 17 2018

35mins

Play

Rank #9: Dating Den Episode 95 — With Chris G: What Does a Quality Guy Really Think About Dating and Relationships?: Our Favorite Man Panelist Gets Honest

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Do you need help dating and understanding men?

Do want insights on what real quality men do, think and feel?

Would you like to meet a quality guy NOW?  

Marni welcomes Chris G. to the podcast to walk women through what a man is thinking when he is looking for more than a hookup. Chris helped build the awesome manimal profile and is an active member of the man panel.

Don’t You Forget About Me: Why Men Orbit [4:54]

Orbiting is when a guy stops calling and texting but still likes your social media posts and pics. So, why would a guy do this? It can be frustrating, especially if you liked him.

Chris says men like to keep women on tap until another option becomes available. If a woman has made her intentions clear and the guy doesn’t share the same relationship values then by not blocking him she is just contributing to the behavior. Chris believes that women are masters at keeping men available to them and maybe women want men to stalk them.

If a woman truly wants to move on she:

  1. Removes the things that may trigger her past.
  2. Remembers that guys don't change even if they see how awesome you are.
  3. Contemplates why she is keeping her options open?

If you want to move on make yourself un-orbital!

The Secret to Getting a Man’s Attention [12:45]

Even in beauty soaked Los Angeles, Chris and his friends put less value on physical attractiveness when using Bumble or Tinder. He says “beauty always wears off.” He loves intelligent conversations and laughing with the right girl, the right combination is important.

But, THE best and most empowering way to meet a woman, for a man, is for him to go up to her ‘live’ and start a conversation.

That’s why Marni and team teach the special secret sauce to women which helps them to really stand out online. They create photos that are evocative of who the woman really is.

Chris’s advice —

  • Don't be vanilla in the corral of online dating. Stand out.
  • Use your real life smile. No duck lips.
  • An authentic smile is sexier and more attractive to a man.
  • Be real, be you.

A man’s goal ultimate goal is to attain a sustainable relationship where the woman and man have integrity and shared common values.

Make Yourself Available for a Real Life Encounter with a Quality Man  [23:41]

If a real-life connection is what a woman truly wants then why do women close themselves off? Sitting with resting bitchface, arms closed, acting uninterested are all ways to block communication attempts from a quality guy.

Chris wants to see a woman who isn't fake or blocked off. It shouldn't be a trial by fire for someone to approach you. No one wants to fight through the armor. He says women are about love. It's their feminine energy that men will fight wars and build temples for. Because men need a woman’s love.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Nov 30 2018

43mins

Play

Rank #10: Do This One Thing 5 Times a Week to Meet High-Quality Men You Like, Right Now

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Do you know how to raise your energy level? Do you know how raising your vibration can help you to attract high-quality men into your life? If not, this episode is exactly what you need right now. Marni welcomes Nova Wightman to the show. Nova is an expert in conscious manifestation, an author, a speaker, reiki master, and a Conversations with God coach. 

She helps spiritual seekers become spiritual rock stars. By blending spirituality with humanity you can enjoy life and all the beautiful things it has to offer. During this episode, you will learn more about conscious manifestation, and how to align it with who you are and raise your vibration to become your most authentic self. 

 

Increase Your Energetic Vibration to Get the Life You Want [3:14]

Type ‘A’ people may believe they already exist in a higher vibration but stress and constant stimulation are actually on the lower part of the vibrational spectrum. If you live in a constant state of activity you can benefit by raising your vibration. Raising your vibration will make you feel better and have an improved state of being. Basically, you will access more magic by letting in different aspects of yourself through. Assisting you in meeting other people who exist in a more peaceful state of being. 

If your thoughts are high but your physical body feels constricted it is a signal that you may have some work to do. 

Take a proactive approach to your well-being, dating, and relationships by incorporating a daily practice into your life. Because it is not actually the person or relationship we want, it is how the connection makes us feel that attracts us. 

You don't need a yoga mat, you don’t need to light candles, or have a special place for your practice. It’s simply about cultivating consistency about turning your attention inward. It's about cultivating a strong bond within you so that over time, everything is strengthened. It's building a proactive foundation. 

Different Ways to Raise Your Vibration [18:24]

Nova recommends the simple practice going back to the common childhood practice of daydreaming. It's powerful as a meditation technique. Just quietly thinking about the things that light you up and charge your system. No matter the technique you choose be it a walking meditation, binaural beats, chanting, etc.  It’s about the absence of resistance in your life. Meditation doesn’t have to be the same thing every day. Choose the right thing for you. 

Remember, if you start from a distracted place it can be hard to jump to the higher states of joy you wish to attain. Getting too specific can invite the mind to conjure up limitations such as yeah, but. Stay simple.

If you have to ditch the daydreaming because it's not working repeat a mantra or listen to a guided meditation. And, instead of beating yourself up or feeling as if you will never do it right, realize something is distracting you so try and change-up your practice. 

You will recognize when your intuition is reaching out over your ego when fear and worry are removed from your thoughts. 

 

Have the Right Expectations  [30:15]

It’s important to remember that the universe is balanced. There will always be ups and down, yin and yang. You can not eliminate all the negative aspects of life. Having a daily practice is all about recovering to the higher state more easily and gracefully so you can stay in the sweet spot of alignment more often than not.  

Manifestation is about setting your intention and asking the universe to bring the best, most aligned thing for you. Be careful not to be too specific about what you want in your life because when you exist at a higher vibration you will get what you desire. Be sure to ask the universe for the best match for you, not a specific person. 

Keep your vibration high so the door to the universe will stay open and the cosmic delivery person can come and deliver you what you need.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Nova Wightman - Start Raising Your Vibration Now with this Free Gift

Jul 12 2019

38mins

Play

Rank #11: Dating Den Episode 77 — With Jordan Harbinger: The Real Truth from a High-Quality Man on How You Can Become Rejection-Proof

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In the den today, insights that will change the way you date!

Returning guest, Jordan Harbinger creates the life he wants to live. He offers up advice on how to deal with rejection and why it is important to trust your gut.  

Jordan has been called the Larry King of podcasting but of course is younger and much better looking. He is a Social Dynamics Expert. As host of The Jordan Harbinger Show, he deconstructs the playbook of super successful people and translates it into practical, consumable pieces for those who want to learn and live the life they desire.

Listen to Your Gut [9:25]

Jordan compares his previous career break to a relationship going sour. He knew he should leave his past career but his future was uncertain. He didn't have a clear plan and was apprehensive about 'losing' what he had. Then when things started to get really bad and an amicable split was impossible, he drew on his family and friends for emotional support and successful entrepreneurs for business advice.

Make a list of your assets and what you bring to the table to reflect upon when you need encouragement.

Are You Really Being Rejected? [20:50]

If you go out with someone a few times and you like them but they don’t like you in the same way it can feel like rejection. But, rejection seems to only happen early in a relationship when we get hung up on a person. Rejection is just an illusion of having a deeper relationship than what actually exists. Sometimes, we feel rejected but the other person just has a shallow filter. Kind of like when you limit your dating to only tall guys. It’s not that short guys aren’t a good fit for you, it’s that you never give them a chance.

Men stop contacting a woman for a variety of reasons. It is not because there is anything wrong with the woman. Men either aren’t ready for a relationship at that time in their life or the woman just isn’t a good fit.   

Guys want to settle down at different times. It has little to do with women.

Baggage Claim - Lose Your Luggage [30:50]

Jordan says women should be able to go out and have a good time on a date without constantly bringing up their past relationships. It can be overwhelming for a man to hear about a date’s past relationships when he just wants to have a drink and have fun.

Ladies, let your guard down! Don’t put your shield up if no one is attacking you.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

The Jordan Harbinger Show

Jun 10 2018

37mins

Play

Rank #12: Damona Hoffman — How to Use Texting to Create Connection and Progress Through the Phases of Dating and Courtship with Dignity

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Marni welcomes dating expert, Damona Hoffman to the den to discuss pre-date texting. This in-depth discussion includes tips to get you out of the app and on to the date.

Key Takeaways:

● Should you text inside or outside a dating app?

● How often you should text before the first date?

● Is it appropriate to send a follow-up text after a date?

● The #1 thing you can do to become an excellent texter.

● 3 Pre-date texting rules.

● Should you use emojis when texting?

● How to respond to a simple ‘hey’ text.

Damona is a certified dating coach and the host of  the long-running podcast, Dates & Mates. She is a TV personality who has been in two A&E series, Black Love and A Question of Love. She is a contributor to CNN Headline News, BET, The Post and Oprah's O magazine.

Traps and Pitfalls of Texting [1:56]

Traps of pre-date texting:

● Remember the whole point of texting is to move forward to get to the date.

● One big mistake people make is sharing too much over text. There is very little context in texting and can be too revealing too soon.

● Texting is designed for information, not conversation.

3 Pre-date Texting Rules   [7:33]

The average text is responded to within 90 seconds. If the response doesn't happen in 24 hours there is a solid chance it won't happen.

A texting technique to adhere to is to make it feel like you are stepping into the middle of the conversation. Texting is designed for short burst communication and volleys back and forth. You want to be as concise as possible. If you thin it out you are more likely to get a response and it’s more likely to be read accurately.

3 Pre-date texting Rules

Keep it simple. Don't overwrite.

Add emojis or mood modifiers to enhance what you mean.

Avoid generic questions and ask compelling questions.

The #1 thing to do to be an excellent texter is to text like you talk to bring your personality out.

Is it OK to Send a Follow-up Text After a Date? [25:04]

In today’s dating scene, it is common place to send a text that night or the next morning. It's polite to say thank you, especially if a date bought dinner or drinks.

One trick is to send a statement or acknowledgement of something that happened on the date. Another technique, is to find a gif that adds humor and fun to the exchange. Think of texting as flirting with technology.

How to Respond to the ‘Hey’ Text [28:21]

If you receive a simple ‘Hey’ text respond with something cheeky. It depends on your interest level, of course. If you are using a dating app, and ‘Hey’ is their opening text, don’t respond. It's just weak.

Research says that men are worried about two things in dating:

1. That they will be thought of as a predator.

2. Being rejected.

Be clear when texting but give a guy some slack because a guy may not have the same awesome texting skills you do.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Aug 02 2019

40mins

Play

Rank #13: With Dr. Bessel van der Kolk: How to Create an Emotional Connection in a Relationship, Even if You’ve Been Burned

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Marni goes deep in this episode uncovering the factors that contribute to emotional trauma and how they may be holding us back in dating and relationships. Her guest, Dr. Besel van der Kolk is a clinical doctor, researcher, professor, and author who specializes in post-traumatic stress. His book, The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma is a New York Times Science bestseller. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Why we don’t have control over many responses and reactions
  • Different types of emotional trauma
  • Body-based trauma healing techniques
  • How to create a loving relationship with your wounded parts
  • Effective trauma healing therapies 
  • Four steps to start healing now 

 

Why Our Bodies Hold On to Trauma [2:42]

 Dr. Besel van der Kolk says that in nature when you are under threat the brain activates your fight or flight system. If it doesn't work, the system shuts down kind of like playing dead. Most of the decisions our brain makes are unconscious. Be hungry, sleepy, liking someone, or not liking someone these are feelings you can not control. All the core human processes are unconscious, automatic processes and reactions. 

It affects our ability to create connection and intimacy profoundly. It may be an extreme reaction to traumas and triggers from long ago. The first step to overcoming unconscious reactions is to become aware of how you are responding. 

Listen to your body and uncover the source of your feelings. 

 

Why Traditional Therapy May Not Be Enough to Heal Trauma [12:18]

In his book, Dr. Besel van der Kolk relates the automatic signaling in the brain to a smoke detector. The more trauma you have in your life the more sensitive your 'smoke detector' is. So, how would you know if your smoke detector is hyperactive? Are you needlessly shutting people out or shutting down emotionally because of a hyperactive smoke detector?

Friends and companions are in our lives to keep us in check. We need each other. Humans are social animals. We depend on the feedback of our friends and companions to keep us from getting stuck in a circle of shame and humiliation. 

Why isn’t traditional talk therapy or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy enough to heal our childhood wounds? Dr. van der Kolk says “Telling people how messed up they are doesn't really help. We are fundamentally body-based. You need to get to know your body and work on making your body feel safe. Learning yoga can be very helpful to take stock of the body.” 

Allow yourself to feel what that child went through how he or she did to survive. Create a loving relationship with the wounded parts of yourself.

 

Managing the Fear Associated with Unpacking Trauma [22:51]

The job of therapists is to help people to go to the scary places and deal with trauma. There are several different techniques to help calm the brain such as EMDR and neurofeedback. 

  • EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing works by rearranging pathways in the brain. It creates different channels in your brain so you interpret the world differently. 

  • Neurofeedback is a method of putting electrodes on your skull which sends brain waves to a computer so you can play computer games with your own brain waves to calm the brain down. 

If you are in a crisis and you have someone to listen to you. It can be helpful to you in the short term. For the long-term, you need to go deeper. 

Our brain is a map of our world. If a brain was formed in a hostile environment or abusive household it expects to end up in more abusive situations. Coming to terms with the past while being grateful for the survival skills it offered can help us to wake up for the present and heal. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Mar 06 2020

34mins

Play

Rank #14: What Do I Do When He Disappears or He is Really Inconsistent?

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In this very special solo episode, Marni offers up some tools and guidelines about how to deal with a ‘ghoster’ or a non-communicative guy after you have started dating. She describes how you deal with the situation internally without having it kill your joy. And, when it’s appropriate to communicate with him to find out why he disappeared or is being inconsistent. 

It’s Him, Not You [4:04]

The most important thing to remember if a guy starts exhibiting this behavior is that you are awesome. His behavior is in no way a reflection of who you are. Know at your core that you are completely lovable and enough.

Are you initiating on a date? The man should have the space to pursue you and ask you out. Remember, the dating process is designed to help you know if another person is a match for you. Nothing more, nothing less. And, what happens between you and the person between dates is just as important as the data you collect on a date.

Ladies, Your job is to know you are awesome, to be cautiously optimistic, and to understand what the person has earned from you based on his behavior.

When we start to like someone we open up to get all mushy and soft and then something happens so we put our walls up and are not sure how to respond. If this happens:

  • ● Do not get attached to the outcome because you don't really know who the person is anyway.
  • ● Don't shut down and stand-offish.
  • ● Just stay empowered and chill.
  • If you have gone out on 3 or 4 dates and a gap exists in your communication it is ok to call and question the situation. A quality guy will respond and let you know what is up.
  • Don’t Waste Your Time [10:43]
  • When you finally have a conversation you need to figure out where things are going and get your questions answered.
  • ● If a guy just disappears bless him and release him. He just told you how he would be in the future,
  • ● If you text and he doesn’t answer let it go. You don't need penpals. This situation will create too much emotional clutter.
  • If you have been talking with someone and go on a few dates but then a week goes by and you don't hear from him use this strategy — if it’s between the 5th and the 8th day of a guy disappearing send a message that asks a simple question that allows him to re-engage.
  • Tell him that this isn't moving forward like you prefer and let it go!

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Listen to episode 25 with Michael Goldstein

Jul 19 2019

18mins

Play

Rank #15: Dating Den Episode 111 — with Michael Sorensen - The Surprisingly Simple Skill You Need to Create Connection in Less than 30 Seconds

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Marni welcomes Author Michael Sorensen into the den today to talk about the value of validation. Michael is an expert on listening and relationship skills. He uses a real-world approach when he talks with women about what they can do differently to create long-lasting relationships.

Michael’s award-winning and bestselling book, I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind the Extraordinary Relationships is transforming the lives of those who read it. He stumbled across relationship skills while working with a therapist and he is on a mission to share his insights with the world.

Why Long-Term Relationships Work [2:25]

Michael shares a personal dating experience that eventually led to him writing his book. In dating or in a relationship the way you respond to the other person plays a major role in how long your relationship will last. If you share interests with your date or partner and respond accordingly you are more likely to form a bond with that person.

Knowing how to validate others can impact your dating life. Validation is made up of two parts, one it identifies a specific emotion and two, offers justification for feeling that emotion. You have to connect with the person on some level. Effective validation requires empathy, effort, and authenticity. To practice validation even if the subject doesn’t interest you try asking a follow-up question to show effort.

Common Validation Mistakes [16:16]

Being present is super-important in today’s world. When someone wants to talk, put down your phone, turn off the tv or close your laptop. Your authenticity will shine through and the other person will feel validated from your sincere effort to hear them.

When someone comes to you with a difficult situation they don’t necessarily need advice or want you to fix their problem. They may just need some validation and empathy.

Common Validation Mistakes:

  1. Being distracted and not fully listening
  2. Trying to fix things or offer assurances.

Being aware of your expectations makes a huge difference, not just in dating but in every relationship in your life.

How to Make Someone Feel Comfortable Opening Up to You [26:00]

If you really want to get to connect with a person, learn how to validate. You will be shocked at how it transforms the dialogue. You can connect with anyone.

When we are curious about another person we ask questions in a way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

When we are creating relationships validation can be the skill that magically opens people up to help create chemistry and connection.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Michael Sorensen Website

I Hear You Book

Apr 12 2019

34mins

Play

Rank #16: With Anne Beaulieu: How to Find the Love of Your Life

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Have you ever been lenient with your non-negotiables? Do you put other people first and allow others to treat you accordingly? If you continue to put yourself last so will the people you let into your life. 

Marni welcomes the Founder of Walking Inside Resources,  Anne Beaulieu. Anne is an emotional intelligence coach, speaker, and author. She understands what it is like to be a badass woman today. Anne helps us answer the question “What does it mean to be authentic and integrated into all of who we are?” The process begins with increasing our emotional intelligence. 

Key Takeaways: 

  • What is emotional intelligence?
  • Distilling wants into needs
  • The first 3-weeks of a relationship should be...
  • Sticking to non-negotiables
  • Becoming self-aware
  • The #1 killer of relationships
  • Healthy conflict resolution process
  • How to gain intimacy and create deep connections with others

 

Emotional Intelligence in Dating  [2:11]

In the context of dating, emotional intelligence is knowing the difference between your wants and your needs. It's vastly different than asking someone what they want. Many women say they want certain things in a partner but what they need is only one or two things. It’s a litmus test to keep us from being vague.  

Why is it hard for women to consider what we need versus what we want? 

  1. We have been trained by society to put our needs last. We apply that mentality and the limiting beliefs to everything we do.

  1. Feeling can be scary for most people. It makes us fully accountable for every experience we have brought into our life. 

It's easy to put other people's needs first even if we are resentful about it or exhausted by it. 

To assign meaning to something we must feel it first. When we become vulnerable with what we need, it is easier to develop a healthy relationship with someone else. 

So, how do we distill our wants down into our needs? 

Anne says it is as simple as asking yourself one question. If you nail this question, your life will change right away. "What does this mean to you?" Real healthy, relationships are specific. 

 

The Emotional Intelligence Litmus Test for a Date [12:29]

To find out the emotional IQ of the guys we are dating Anne recommends using the first three weeks of dating as an interview period and: 

  • Keeping your panties on during the interview process. 
  • During the first three dates find out what you love about them.
  • Find three things that get on your nerves. 
  • Ask the hard questions. 
  • Get clear about what you need before you enter a relationship. 

 If you wouldn't date someone who isn't self-aware why would someone date you if you are not self-aware. Like attracts like. 

If you are dating someone who triggers the crap out of you, it's because those issues are unresolved within yourself. If they were resolved you would never agree to date someone like that in the first place. 

The 4 EQ Quadrants and How to Use Them [23:49]

Anne breaks down the framework of emotional intelligence into 4 quadrants. They are: 

  1. Self-awareness is most important (know thyself) . We can only be aware of others to the extent we are aware of ourselves. 

  1. Awareness of others.

  1. Managing relationship with self.

  1. Managing the relationship with others.

This can be applied to any relationship . It's the key to having deep connections.

Self-empowerment is feeling what works for us and what does not work for us and changing for the better. 

Knowing what you are willing to tolerate and what you are willing to accept, and your non-negotiables. Most women compromise on their non-negotiables. and that is what creates our biggest heartaches.

Go through the 4 quadrants and take an honest assessment.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Walking Inside Website

Oct 11 2019

39mins

Play

Rank #17: Dating Den Episode 117 — Coaching with Kristen: Why Do I Get Awkward and Freak Out When I Really Like Someone?

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In this in-depth coaching session with Kristen, Marni discovers the root of why Kristen can’t be herself around people she likes. She is 39-years-old and is replaying a pattern over and over in all of her relationships. Since her divorce 15-years-ago, she has dated but it has never led to anything serious. She wants guidance from Marni on how she can ask for what she wants from life so she can date with dignity. 

 

What a Girl Wants [2:12]

Kristen often meets men through her extracurricular activities or through work. She gets to see the guys being their authentic selves and she appreciates it. But, when it comes to her being herself she automatically shuts down. 

She has been shy ever since she can remember. She was the youngest daughter in her family. She recalls her parents taking care of her every need and her father being very protective of her. She didn’t need to assert herself or voice her opinion while she was growing up because someone always did it for her. 

Marni recognizes Kristen’s pattern as the ‘love shield’ and asks her why she feels she is incapable and unworthy.

Why We Wear a Love Shield [9:38]

Many of us carry around a voice in our head that directs our identity and our behaviors. We then attract people into our lives who act the same or reinforce that identity. We may think we know who we are but we always default to someone else’s wants and needs because deep down we are afraid our own needs will be rejected. 

Marni reveals that when a guy senses a love shield he feels a disconnect. It’s hard for men to become attracted to someone who doesn’t know who they are. A grown-up man wants to get to know someone and be challenged but if Kristen doesn’t know who she is or what she wants, there is very little for a guy to fall for. 

Kristen says she can feel herself trying to analyze the situation in her head but she still doesn't know who she is. She is exhausted by it. She gives other people her power. She’s not sure of who she is or what she is capable of. She does know, however, she is confident and capable of things in her head but not in her heart. 

 

How to Uncover the Real You [18:26]

Marni says it’s time for Kristen to start investigating who she is. She needs to strip herself of her story consider the places where she feels like she shines and what makes her feel free. 

Basically, Kristin needs to date herself.

She knows she can activate her authentic self when she wants to. When she is out in nature hiking she feels grounded and free. She is able to release herself and connect to her body. It’s when she moderates herself due to her fear is when she shuts down. 

Kristin’s Homework: 

  1. For 30 days, she needs to start noticing what she naturally notices. 
  2. She needs to stop moderating herself.
  3. She needs to ask for what she wants.  
  4. She has to get some professional help and start parenting herself. 
  5. She needs to express what is in her soul. 

If you don’t know who you are, how will anyone else get to know you?

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Jun 28 2019

39mins

Play

Rank #18: With Dr. Stephen Porges: How Smart Women Calm Themselves Down When They Have Dating and Relationship-Related Anxiety

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Why is dating so hard? Are you saying all the right things but your body is sending signals of anxiousness or defensiveness? To uncover the psychological reasons behind your physiological behavior, Marni welcomes Dr. Stephen Porges, an expert in the polyvagal theory and how it traverses our relationships.

Key Takeaways:

  • ● Self-soothing tips for anxious behavior
  • ● Tips for staying in a long-term, happy relationship
  • ● Rewriting your personal narrative
  • ● Recognizing defensiveness for what it really is
  • ● The importance of being present on a date
  • ● Why dating can be terrifying
  • ● Understanding the importance of reciprocity
  • The Polyvagal Theory and Dating-Mating Strategies [4:34]
  • The polyvagal theory explains how our nervous system plays a part in our relationships, even if we aren’t aware of it at the time. Essentially, it influences how we react to others. If your body is in a state of safety, you can be socially and emotionally available. If not, and your body is in a state of anxiety or fear, you may not present yourself as who you really are.
  • We pick up non-verbal queues from one another. If your mind goes to a place of abandonment or loss of trust your body reflects that externally.
  • Dr. Porges says that in our culture we present the supermodel face. It is the presentation of being beautiful but not being available. This is not what our bodies want. Our bodies want people who are interactive, supportive, and reciprocal to who we are.
  • What is really attractive is the emotional safety conveyed through facial expression.
  • In the early moments of starting relationships, we are negotiating safety in psychological space.
  • Why Dating Can Be Terrifying [13:21]
  • There is little predictability in dating. Will he call? Does he like me? When we ask ourselves these questions it is an example of our nervous system searching for predictability. If there is uncertainty, we feel unsafe and it can create a feeling of terror.
  • Relationships aren't based on words they are based on how we relate to each other. We need reciprocity to feel understood and emotionally safe. Uncertainty puts us into a defensive mode.
  • How to Self-soothe When You Feel Anxious [21:10]
  • When our sense of self is challenged, it may be because we are framing our personal narratives based on previous traumas. Dr. Porges offers these tools to self-soothe and to calm ourselves down after we have been triggered:
  • ● Breathing — To calm the body down inhale quickly and exhale slowly.
  • ● Rocking, gently — It triggers the body to feel safe in the presence of another.
  • ● A Quiet Place — if you want to understand what someone is saying go to a quiet environment.
  • These tools can help you manage your body’s reaction to trauma and manage it. The goal of a relationship is to be part of a co-regulation team. And, sensitivity is being aware of your partners de-stabilizations and reflexively supporting them.
  • How to Stay in a Long-term, Happy Relationship [35:59]
  • Be accessible! Dr. Porges’ biggest tip for staying in a healthy relationship is to be vulnerable and accessible with our partners.  He says, “What we want in our relationships is never to be in a defensive state or to minimize it. We have to understand we are not perfect, we are loving human beings.”
  • Our bodies want to open up and be vulnerable with one another.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

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Dr. Stephen Porges Website

Aug 23 2019

43mins

Play

With Lori Dennis: What Are the Conscious Choices You Must Make So You Can Connect with a High-quality Guy?

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Marni welcomes Lori Dennis into the Den to talk about finding balance in four quadrants of your life. Lori runs a top LA interior design firm, and she is an HGTV celebrity. Lori decided to write Quadrant Life: Balancing Relationships, Finances, Wellness, and Your Spiritual Life as a result of the constant questions others asked her about how she always seemed to have it all. She is a TED speaker and has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and on Bravo and Oxygen.

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Making happiness a choice
  • How to find balance in your life
  • Strategies for cleaning up your messes
  • Figure out what happiness means for you

 

Living the Quadrant Life [3:56]

 One of the biggest misconceptions/excuses women believe is that they can't have it all. Lori says this is ridiculous. Women can have it all. They only need to get everything into balance. She says happiness comes when you wake up every single day and no matter what happens you know you can handle it. 

But, if happiness is a choice, why do many of us try to make things more challenging? Lori recommends asking yourself what happiness looks like for you. It's all about your perceptions and your experiences. Being happy is one of the best decisions you can make for yourself. 

Find balance in these four quadrants:

  • Relationships
  • Finances
  • Wellness
  • Spiritual 

Once you stop being afraid, you have the ability to clean up your messes. 

 

Tips for Finding Balance in the Quadrants [19:17]

 To attain proper balance in the four quadrants, Lori says, it's like cleaning your house. Her personal approach is to attack the thing that is scary or hard first. Once she accomplishes what she believes to be the hardest thing it gives her confidence to tackle the less stressful items in her life.

Marni shares an example of how she took a deep dive to uplevel her spiritual practice and it up-leveled everything else in her life. 

Lori says, focusing in one area is a good approach because if you just change one thing that isn't working for you it will change every other part of your life. Small positive changes automatically affect every other quadrant. 

Tips for Up-leveling each Quadrant: 

  • Relationships — Learn how to say no. 
  • Finance — Consider purchases for 2 days before taking action.
  • Wellness — Get up and move.  
  • Spirituality — Pay it forward once a week.

Changing Your Environment [31:45]

Instead of wishing you had different things in life, it is up to you to make your life exactly the way that you want it. You can have it all. Having freedom in your environment will affect you in a good way. Remove excess material stuff you don’t need and be thoughtful about your environment. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Lori Dennis Website

Quadrant Life: Balancing Relationships, Finances, Wellness, and Your Spiritual Life by Lori Dennis

Jul 10 2020

36mins

Play

With Ryan Haddon: Is Your Subconscious Mind Running the Show and Sabotaging Your Dating Life?

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Marni welcomes Ryan Haddon into the Den to discuss the role your subconscious plays in dating. Ryan is a certified Life Coach and Spiritual Mentor, a licensed Hypnotherapist, a certified Meditation Teacher, and a public speaker who facilitates retreats and promotes work-life balance. She is here to share her expertise and life-changing approach to spiritual mentoring during the major transition we are all experiencing. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Make changes in your subconscious mind
  • Breaking negative patterns
  • Finding emotional safety
  • Cultivating stillness
  • Calming techniques

 

How your Subconscious Hijacks Your Brain and Your Life [3:02]

 The subconscious mind runs 95% of your life. It stores every memory, every emotion, and the imagination in your brain. Its primary function is to keep us comfortable but it also houses phobias and fears. Unfortunately, we become slaves to it. It should be the opposite. It should be there to serve us. 

When it hijacks our conscious mind it is counterproductive. We habitually tend to keep doing the same things over and over. While it is trying to protect us from past experiences and future mistakes, it stays stuck in familiar patterns that in the past brought us comfort. 

The best time to transform your subconscious thoughts is while falling asleep and waking up. 

 

Tips for Getting Out of a Funk [13:13]

 Ryan says if you want to break a cycle and get yourself out of a funk, try to pinpoint your feelings and reframe your story. Move into acceptance. If you find yourself at the end of a bad date have a go-to positive phrase or affirmation, such as "My guy is finding his way to me". It will help you shift.

Feelings are not facts. If you find yourself in a moment when you are feeling hopeless or in a funk, it's about being mindful of the present moment. Learn self-hypnosis techniques. Take a meditative walk in nature. Anything to get yourself into emotionally safe territory. 

Life consistently challenges us. Cultivate and curate stillness so you are prepared for the next round. 

Anxiety is Creeping In What Do I Do? [23:46]

What can you do to heal past issues that may still be held in your subconscious? Ryan recommends self-care practices such as a bath or a massage. She says you can also soothe yourself by giving yourself a hug or tapping. Say "I've got you. I'm not going to abandon you." while you rock back and forth to clear negative energy that may be stuck in the body.  

Other physical movements that will soothe a habitual pattern forged by the subconscious are 3 deep abdomen breaths with your feet flat on the floor, writing something down on paper to release it from your body. As soon as you notice a pattern, leverage a new dynamic, and keep trying until you find what is best for you. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Ryan Haddon

'How to Get Yourself Out of a Funk' by Ryan Haddon

Jul 03 2020

36mins

Play

Coaching Monica: Is Your Online Dating Process Keeping You Single?

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Marni reached out to her Facebook group to find someone who is actively dating online but not getting the desired results. Monica responded.  She is on two different dating apps but receives very few responses. Those who do respond end up ghosting her. Marni provides her with quick fixes and tips on how to increase the amount of dates she gets and elevate the quality of her dating experiences. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Tips for a better online dating profile
  • Verbiage in your profile you should change now
  • Why professional photos are important
  • The right mindset for creating your online profile 

 

I’m a Successful Woman, Why Am I Not Getting Dates?  [2:21]

 Monica is a successful film-industry professional who is winding down her career. She is having difficulty finding love again after her divorce. She did have one 8-month relationship since then, but it ended in heartbreak. She says she just wants to go on a damn date. Like many successful women, Monica has done the personal development work and is serious about finding a partner to share life with.

Monica spends 20-30 minutes every morning checking her dating apps and responding to messages. She has telephone conversations but hasn't had a first date in 6 months. On top of that, she only went out on 4 dates in 2019. She says she gets ghosted a lot. 

 

Building a Better Online Dating Profile [6:22]

 Marni dissects Monica’s current online dating profile pointing out tips for improvement in the first paragraph. She points out that Monica is a little too much in her masculine and if she was interviewing for a job all of her points are valid, BUT she is not looking for a job she is looking for a relationship.  

Reread your online dating profile. What would a strong, high-quality guy think about it? 

Quick Fixes for Your Dating Profile: 

  1. The first sentence is really important! Describe yourself and be clear about what your guy is like. 
  2. Get into a wise/soft/empowered state of mind. 
  3. Remember you have 30 seconds to make a first impression.
  4. Don’t let your frustration about dating leak into your profile.

How Monica Can Move Forward [6:22]

Marni offers different ways to pull more information out of the men who send messages and ask for dates. Her advice is for Monica to be vulnerable and to “show him the yolk”. 

Monica’s Biggest Takeaways from the coaching:

  • She enjoyed finding out why the information she is putting in her profile isn't rewarded with communication and more interest. 
  • She may be displaying an armored love shield and speaking in her masculine.
  • She will practice having vulnerable conversations. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Jun 26 2020

30mins

Play

With Holly Martyn: 3 Strategies Smart Women in Their 40s Can Use to Meet Their High-Quality Man

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Marni welcomes author and dating after divorce expert Holly Martyn into the Den to discuss her dating manual and memoir, Would It Kill You to Put on Some Lipstick?. Her book was inspired by an advice column by  Joan Rivers and tells the story of Holly’s poignant journey of finding a high-quality guy in 100 or fewer dates. It's a manual on how to navigate love, life, and happiness in midlife.

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • 3 strategies to meet a high-quality guy
  • Dating is a numbers game
  • The importance of prioritizing your love life
  • The wonderful aspects of dating in your 40s and 50s
  • How to ask a man what he is looking for without wasting your time

 

Dating is a Numbers Game [2:07]

 Joan Rivers started the conversation in an advice column. She told a single mother to put on some damn lipstick and get out there and date. Holly wondered if finding a high-quality guy really was a numbers game and decided to try it out for herself and journal her journey. She was in her 40s, had been in two long term relationships and it wasn't working. 

She didn't want her daughter to grow up knowing her mother stayed in a bad relationship. Holy says demonstrating to our children about what works and what doesn't when finding love is a teachable moment. It’s ok for our children to know that we are human beings and we are still learning.

3 Ways to Get a Date: 

  1. Online/Dating Apps
  2. Ask friends and family if they know someone.
  3. Go out and get a meal by yourself and talk to new people. 

All three options worked for Holly. She met men and women. One woman set her up on a blind date with a guy she dated for two years. 

Whatever it is we prioritize in our lives we can make it happen. including our social lives. 

You just have to keep going on dates. It's like looking for a job. The dating process is a great way to know about men. Use the time to notice possible red flags. 

Learning Through the Dating Process [19:10]

 The adage is true ‘If we don’t change, nothing changes’. Holly had to examine relationships from her childhood and her previous marriages to see why those relationships broke down. Eventually, she became stronger and more confident in what she was looking for and how she wanted to be treated and she became more efficient in weeding out the wrong people upfront. 

Women, especially women in their 40s and 50s need to ask a man what he is looking for within the first three dates. Figuring out if a guy is looking for the same thing as you is nothing to be ashamed of. Your time is important don’t waste it on a guy who doesn’t want a relationship if that is what you want. 

Men will show you who they are very quickly.

One of the wonderful things about dating in your 40s, 50s, and beyond is something is freeing about not having the pressure of looking for a provider, a father, or someone our parents will approve of. Look for character more than characteristics. 

Holly reaches out to all the women who stay in relationships or marriages but have doubts about it, she says it’s more important to be a model for your children about the beauty of contentment and satisfaction. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Holly Martyn Author

@hollylmartyn on Instagram

Jun 19 2020

40mins

Play

With Elle Russ: How to Tap Into Vulnerability That Will Create Massive Attraction AND Yes, We Are Talking to You Alpha Females

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Marni welcomes the formidable Elle Russ into the Den to talk about how women, especially Alpha females, can be Confident As F*ck while embracing their vulnerability to attract connection and intimacy. As a coach and author, Elle helps people reclaim their health. She is a TV and film writer and host of the Primal Blueprint podcast. During this conversation, she shares the inspiration for writing her book, Confident As Fu*k: How to Ditch Bad Vibes, Clean Up Your Past, and Cultivate Confidence in Order to Make Your Dreams a Reality and key concepts to help women be confident in all areas of their life including dating! 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • How to attract quality people into your life
  • How alpha females can express vulnerability
  • Avoiding Downers that drain your confidence
  • How to have only conversations that matter 

 

What Inspired Elle to Write Confident As F*ck? [1:30]

 Elle says that there is a theme to the type of people you attract into your life. Clients would come to her for help building their confidence. These were people who could speak to a room of 200+ people but couldn’t be vulnerable in an intimate or private environment. Marni adds that women won't admit to having a confidence issue but when it comes to relationships they have self-doubt or they need validation. 

Alpha females have pitfalls and one of those is being vulnerable. We don't, on a primal level, want to appear weak. But, in dating it makes us inaccessible. People crave our external confidence but they never see our human side. When you are not vulnerable and open you can not have emotional intimacy with someone. How can someone love you if they don't see you. 

Elle carried shame because her hands became permanently disabled in her 20's. She thought 'who would want her with the disability?' She didn't tell the guys she dated. She wanted to wait until they said I love you. She was held back. She knew she had to get over the shame of her disability. Shame can be more disabling than a disability. Shame disables confidence. 

You always stay on the fringe of social connections when you are afraid to be vulnerable.

 

The Downer Effect [21:33]

 Elle considers people who project a lack of confidence ‘Downers’. When people have bad vibes toward you you feel it. Stay away from these people, she advises. You can share your experiences with some people over and over and they will consistently reply with negativity.

While Elle gets inspired by negative naysayers it can feel like a hit to your confidence. She recommends choosing your battles wisely. At some time in our lives, we have all been a downer and have had negative thoughts. Self-examination can help negative thoughts go away quickly and help us not to simmer in them. 

Indicators that you may be the ‘Downer’: 

  • If you feel like you are right or you have a need to be right. It normally means that it involves someone else's demise or failure. It's crap and women need to stop it. 
  • Squelching other people’s confidence makes you feel better about yourself. 

Marni recommends every woman look at the five people they talk to and share with to consider if they are being encouraging or negative. If they are being negative, change your five people. 

Why do women worry about what someone else might think of them and allow it to change their attitude? All that matters is how you think of you.

When you walk into a date wonder if that person is worth your time. It’s empowering.

 

Stay Away From the Nonversation  [33:50]

Elle coined the term nonversation for conversations that are a waste of time and they go nowhere. We have to stop having them! Fishing for a compliment or giving voice to our ego isn’t necessary. 

Women have to start encouraging other women. - envy and jealousy is rooted in self-loathing and low self-esteem. It’s important to limit your time with jealous people.  Jealousy is hoping the person you are jealous of fails. 

Wishing failure on someone else will always come back to haunt you.

Stop sharing stuff with negative people. You will never win. People should be worth your time or you shouldn’t hang with them. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Elle Russ Website

Elle Russ on Facebook

Jun 12 2020

43mins

Play

Coaching Susan: How to Break the Pattern of Attracting Guys That Breadcrumb You

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Marni welcomes Susan into the Dating Den. Susan is a client who was new to dating after the loss of her husband. She knew she wanted a relationship but found herself attracting guys who only threw her breadcrumbs. During this conversation, she shares her transformation, insights about what was missing in her previous approach to dating, and how the process has changed all parts of her life. 

With Susan Wade: How to Break the Pattern of Attracting Guys That Breadcrumb You

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Creating your non-negotiables
  • How to identify your limiting beliefs
  • Why working with a coach generates a transformation independent research can’t
  • Why you may not want to write a guy off too quickly 

 

Attracting the ‘Crumbs’ Guys [2:19]

 Susan had lost her husband to cancer about a year before she started dating again. She realized she was attracting 'crumbs' guys and she wanted to attract men that were more her caliber. She was choosing the wrong guys who were caught up inside themselves and still dealing with their emotional baggage. 

She felt confused and the pattern was chipping away at her self-worth and her self-esteem. Maybe, she wasn't the catch she thought she was? But, she knew she wanted to be in a relationship. 

The ‘crumbs’ guy was seeing someone else at the time. She felt like the other woman or his second choice. He did however help Susan to recognize a pattern she had before she met her husband. 

The problem was she was trying to think her way out of the situation. She did online research and read books but nothing was shifting.

 

She Realized She Needed a Coach [9:27]

Susan knew that she wouldn’t break free of her pattern on her own. She was ruling guys out before she would rule them in. She realized she was ruling guys out because it gave her a sense of control and protected her from getting hurt. She was also unclear about what she really wanted. 

She says that working with Marni’s team helped because they provided her with a process. She wrote down her non-negotiables and got clear about what she was looking for. It was time for her to have a mature adult relationship.

It's scary to be rejected by a guy who you perceive to be a catch opposed to a guy you don't think is a catch. 

 

Seeking Mutual Understanding to Create Connection and Intimacy  [27:18]

Susan started dating a friend of a friend who she was ready to write off early on. One of her non-negotiations is communications and he doesn't communicate as frequently as she does but she admits to not being clear about her values around communication. Working with the Dating with Dignity team helped her to redefine what she needs versus what she wants. 

Marni says many men are trainable when it comes to communication. They want to make us happy and will adapt because they are committed to the relationship. 

For a lot of men communicating is challenging. They have been hurt and pasts’ to reconcile.

Susan says she would never have chosen her current boyfriend prior to taking Marni's course. She recommends being open to the process and allowing it to unfold organically. The process helped her investigate her wounds and what triggered her. She now uses the processes in all areas of her life and everything is coming together for her. 

You can have anything you want as long as you are mentally aligned and committed. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Jun 05 2020

38mins

Play

With Kiné Corder: How to Get Out of Your Dating Rut

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Marni welcomes Kiné Corder back into the Den to talk about navigating your way through an existential midlife crisis. Kiné is a  bestselling author, international keynote speaker, national certified counselor, and a clinical hypnotherapist specializing in financial therapy and stress management. As the CEO of Presidential Lifestyle Inc., a wellness company focused on wealth in all of its forms, Kiné helps high achievers navigate through the existential midlife crisis. During this conversation she shares a step-by-step process to living your prosperity.

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Getting clear about your purpose
  • Removing challenges from reaching your purpose
  • Figuring out what is next for you
  • The formula for finding common ground with a partner

 

Turning Money into Meaning [2:58]

 With the advent of transitioning roles for women from home to the workplace, we are starting to experience a midlife crisis just as men always have. Women sacrifice some things we want for ourselves in our early career and sometime during our midlife the dreams we may have put on the backburner ask to be revisited. 

Once we become aware that we may have lost some freedoms in lieu of responsibility it is time to take the steps to get to where we want to be and to find harmony. 

  1. Ask yourself what prosperity means to you. 
    • Break your answer down into just 3 words.
    • Is your present life reflecting this?
    • What is your immediate need?
    • Create a pre-purpose.
  2. What challenges are you experiencing?

This is the formula for navigating your way through midlife with purpose. 

Trial and error your way to purpose. We need to figure out what we want or don’t want by testing the waters. 

 

Finding Harmony [29:04]

 To find personal harmony you can read books, or delve into all the free information available online but if you really want to be prosperous in an efficient and quality way you have to hire a guide. Someone who knows the ropes and has gained experience from all the people she has helped to attain harmony.

  • You need to know your why and ask yourself “What is now and what is next?”. 

Ladies, there is nothing wrong about taking the long way through this process. A guide simply helps you make the most of the time you have available.

 

What if My Partner’s Idea of Prosperity is Different From Mine? [34:47]

Finding common ground with someone whose idea of prosperity slightly overlaps with yours is important. Or, if there is no common ground both partners should consent to compromise and blending their two ideas of prosperity. 

If the similarities are hidden at first, Kiné says partners should talk through it without making anyone wrong. There is no right or wrong when it comes to visions of prosperity. Follow the process of one partner talking about their ideas all the way through without interruption from the listener. Then, in a day or a week, the other person discusses their ideas about prosperity. Both partners should be curious, open, and optimistic. 

Kiné recommends asking yourself how you want to show up in the world. If you get clear about this every footstep with this in mind is a step forward. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

May 29 2020

52mins

Play

With Ed McClune: What Did You Learn from Past Relationship Mistakes that Will Make Your Next One a Success?

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Marni welcomes Master Coach for the Hoffman Institute and Licenced Marriage and Family Counselor, Ed McClune into the Den. Ed is also the relationship therapist for Dating with Dignity’s one-year program. During this episode, he shares information about the physical effects of grief and how to keep a relationship healthy.

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • The biggest challenges to overcome after a breakup
  • Why women need to train their partners
  • Why self-compassion is the key to healing
  • How to learn from past relationship mistakes
  • How to maintain dignity when dating

 

Dealing with the Pain of a Breakup [3:05]

 When something we invest our heart in doesn't work out it hurts us emotionally and physiologically. For many of us, we marinate in pain for a long time. When we become impatient with the grieving process and don’t give ourselves the time we need to heal we add to the hurt. We spend a lot of time in the 'no one will ever love me again' story. 

Ed says that it is easy and natural to make up a narrative about sadness. We create a ‘woe is me’ story, or we believe something is wrong with us. We wastefully spend a lot of time in the 'no one will ever love me again' story. 

But, when we change our internal narrative we can move through the pain and gain a healthy lesson from past relationships. It’s a good idea to give grief time even schedule it. Why allow pain to bleed into your entire day? It’s healthy to allow sadness to flow through you but at a scheduled time so the body can heal itself. 

Learning from our mistakes is what helps us to become a better offer to the next potential lover.

 

The Myth of the Good Queen [10:50]

 Ed uses the analogy of the Good Queen to describe what doesn’t work in relationships. To be a good partner, we can’t just sit back in our thrones and let things come to us. We need to play an active role and train a man to be what we need him to be. He says that women often think that if a man loves them he will do ‘X’ but the guy probably needs to be trained to do it first. In general, a man just doesn't know.

We come into relationships with different needs and skill levels. None of us are wrong or defective. There is so much pressure on a man to know what to do and how to take care of his partner. Men don't have any relationship education and there is no formula

How responsible are women to train their guy?

Marni asks Ed how a woman can take a leadership role without being masculine, bossy, or over-functioning.  

Ed says women should own their dignity, beauty, and soulfulness and help their partners love them. Maturity in a relationship is key. 

The right guy, the quality guy wants to know how to make you happy, not just in the bedroom but in the relationship.

 

Dating with Dignity [20:39]

For the sake of maintaining your own dignity, if there is chemistry in a relationship but a guy is unwilling to step up and take responsibility for how a relationship is evolving women need to pull their hand away from the cookie jar and say chemistry is not enough. When you tire of surrendering your dignity to a recurring breakdown you have to say enough is enough. 

Both people go in blind when starting to date. Trust and commitment must be built as we incrementally let the other person in. Partners have different talents and different skill levels. We date people to bring more into our lives. Every time we fall in love it happens with a ton of variables and as learners, we are going to get some things wrong. 

A healthy relationship is one in which each partner is committed to their individual growth and the growth of the relationship.

Make a Connection:

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Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

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Ed McClune at the Hoffman Institute

May 22 2020

38mins

Play

With Michael the Man Panelist: A Man's View on Sex, Kissing, Ghosting, and Profile Turnoffs

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Marni welcomes a fellow Podcast Host and Man Panelist, Michael O’Neal into the Dating Den. Mike is a single man who in addition to his entrepreneur podcast also hosts his YouTube channel, Rennch where he shares tips for restoring vintage Porsches. During this episode, he shares some Q&A from the most recent Man Panel discussion, a real-life example of when a woman ghosted him, and how some men just want a pizza girlfriend. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • How to improve your online dating profile
  • How to get what you want from a man in bed
  • Why ghosting is immature
  • Why a bad kisser may not be worth the trouble 

 

Dating for Successful Women & Online Profile Turnoffs [2:08]

 For a woman who makes critical decisions all day at work turning down her masculine energy can be trying especially when dating. Mike observes that it must be hard for women to switch between the two energies. “When you become a successful, badass woman you get in your masculine and it's hard to get back into the feminine. If you are in 65% masculine energy then a guy can only be in 35% of his masculine. You may end up with a guy you are not attracted to.” Mike says.

The masculine energy can also bleed into a woman’s online dating profile. Mike says that when a woman’s profile starts with the woman saying ‘just swipe past me if you ____ ‘ turns him off. He says it’s proof that the woman is somehow damaged. He automatically swipes to the next person. 

 

Sexually Speaking at the ManPanel Event [14:03]

 When it comes to sex, Mike says that women should not feel weird about giving a man directions. If something is working or not working that is something men want to know. Men are normally more than willing to do whatever it takes, even if it hurts, to make sure a woman is satisfied. 

But, it is hard to teach passion and sensuality. Kissing is the hardest physical, sexual act to address with someone else. If a guy is a bad kisser and there is nothing else that really hooks you then say goodbye. But, if you think there might be a deeper connection, try giving him a helpful hint or try moving your head into a different position. 

We, men, are like your favorite labrador retriever. We’ll do whatever you tell us to. 

 

You, Will, Know When a Guy is into You [23:33]

Times have changed, Mike says men are looking for someone to show if they are interested. After the first date, if a guy is into you he will be sending you a message. And, if he asks you for a second date he has probably already considered if you could be his forever girl. 

Mike shares a story of how he pursued a girl he met. He liked the girl but she kept putting him off. She responded to him several times but always with confusing messages. Then she just ghosted him. 

Marni believes that if you are getting ghosted you should consider it a blessing because now you know what type of person you would have been dating. You are more than likely dating the wrong type of people. 

If you are not interested in a person don’t ghost them. Just tell them. It doesn’t have to be awkward. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

The Solopreneur Hour Podcast 

@solohour on Instagram

May 15 2020

42mins

Play

With Monica Berg: How to Tell if Your Connection is Real

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Marni welcomes speaker, author, self-described change junkie, Monica Berg into the Dating Den. Monica is the Chief Communications Officer of the Kabbalah Center. Her books, Fear is Not an Option and Rethink Love are guidebooks for those who desire transformation in their relationships and life. During this episode, she shares how knowing what we want for ourselves can help us to have better relationships and to make deeper connections with those we love. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • How to accept and adapt to change
  • Learn your fighting style
  • How to have compassion for your partner
  • Figure out how to be clear about what you want for yourself

 

Relationships Aren’t Stable [3:58]

 Relationships are meant to grow and get better every year and it's all about perspective, says Monica. Even during quarantine, when we may be with our partners for 24-hours a day, she believes this is a great opportunity for us to look at the state of our lives and how we are living. Before the pandemic we all had the luxury of escape by going shopping or out for drinks with a friend. Now, we should take stock of the things we love about our lives.

In her book, Rethink Love, Monica notes that relationships are not stable. There are supposed to be ups and downs, she says. Fighting is important in a relationship because it shows that you care and are passionate about it. 

Where people get stuck is that they have different fighting styles. If they are different they need to find one that works for both of them.

 

Rethinking Change [5]

 We need to have a healthy respect for change because change is the only constant. In relationships there are two distinct personalities involved. This can add fun, opportunities, and excitement. But this also means there are a lot of differences. Take fighting styles for example. What kind of fighting style was each person exposed to when they were a child? How has that influenced their fighting style?  

Each person should look at what they want in their life. What is currently working and what is not? Monica recommends getting clear about what it is that you really want for yourself. Then create a To-Be list and a To-Do list. 

  1. Be intentional
  2. Be flexible
  3. Do remove the ego
  4. Be curious about your partner
  5. Do carry yourself with integrity

When fighting goes wrong you add a lot of hurt into a relationship.

 

Emotional Intelligence [22:27]

Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage your emotions and those of the people around you. Many of us don’t realize how our emotions affect other people. But, when you value someone and love them at their core you will find ways to have compassion and be generous. 

If you are stuck in a relationship, go back to friendship. Forget about it being romantic and what your traditional roles are. Think about how you treat a friend and are you treating your partner in the same manner. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

May 08 2020

37mins

Play

With Beth: What to Do If You Are Stuck So You Are Not Single Forever

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Beth is a divorced, single mother who almost moved her family and business because she was convinced she would never meet a high-quality man she could connect with in her community. She has listened to the Dating Den podcast for years and when Marni offered to rewire her brain she decided to invest in herself and signed up for the program. During this episode, she tells Marni about her limiting beliefs and how the team helped her to overcome them. She is now dating someone she really connects with. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • How to ask for dating and relationship help
  • Overcoming triggers to find peace and calm
  • How to set healthy boundaries
  • Why core wounds hold you back from being authentically you
  • How to attract the life you want

 

How You Know It’s Time to Act [1:24]

 Beth had been doing self-development work for some time but admits she was having difficulty changing her core thoughts and beliefs about what she deserved. She is a single mother who consistently took care of others before herself. She wanted to find a partner but didn’t think she would ever meet anyone she could connect with in her area. 

She decided she needed outside help to rewire her brain and contacted the team at Dating with Dignity. Working with Marni and Sherrie made her feel heard and enabled her to identify her limiting beliefs and blocks. She committed to the 10-week program and gave it her all. 

“I feel liberated because I now have the tools to calmly move through things that trigger me.” 

 

Putting Relationship Tools to Work [12:55]

 Beth encountered her first opportunity to use her new relationship tools when a guy she met on a dating app removed a ‘tag’ of them together on Facebook. Beth admits that in the past she probably would have pulled away from the situation because she didn’t understand the move and didn’t want to appear needy. But since she was armed with healthy boundaries she approached the issue from a calm, vulnerable place. 

“The program helped me realize that I am lovable and I am enough.” 

 

Advice for Other Women Who May Be Afraid to Ask for Help  [28:27]

Beth reveals that the program 100% worked for her. It will change your brain in a way that you will never go back to the way you used to operate. She says she learned that her wants and needs are valid. And, that she is now attracting the life she wants because she is being more of who she wants to be and she loves being liberated. 

Even her friends have commented about the calm, peaceful place she is in now that she feels safe and doesn’t worry about being rejected.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

May 01 2020

34mins

Play

With the Women from Dateable: Are You Letting Your First Date Impression Limit Your Opportunity to Find a High-Quality Guy?

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After a month of staying at home, singles may be getting anxious to get out there and date. And even though there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the best idea may be to use this time to build a deeper relationship with guys with potential. To discover how to navigate the unknown waters of dating in the time of quarantine, Marni welcomes Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hostesses of Dateable. A podcast Huffington Post reveals as one of 2020’s top ten podcasts about love and sex. Julie, Yue, and Marni take a deep dive into all the online dating and relationship issues you want to know about.  

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Virtual dating tips
  • Whether or not to  go on a first date during quarantine
  • How to go deeper during online conversations
  • Love is Blind experiment results
  • What to do if an ex starts texting again

 

Dating During COVID-19 [6:14]

 Based on a poll posted on the Dateable Facebook group Julie says that a majority of the women who answered would meet a guy they met online during quarantine depending on the situation. The second highest majority of women said they would definitely not meet a guy face to face until the quarantine is lifted. Why meet face-to-face when such good things are coming out of video dating? 

Video dating allows us to put the physical on hold and go deep if we let it, says Julie.  But the use is starting to fade in some groups because they don't know if they will ever get to meet the other person so it feels pointless to continue having virtual conversations. It’s important to remember that this is an opportunity to let something special build. 

If you are thinking about meeting a guy face-to-face during quarantine, consider how many first dates are actually a success. Use this time to go deeper online first. 

Marni recommends asking yourself ‘what’s the rush?’.  What else are you doing? If you put your health at risk would you regret it more than just waiting to meet someone? If there is a connection now the connection will be there in a month. 

 

Virtual Dating Tips [20:11]

Yae shares an example of how she customizes her dating experience on Zoom. She changes her virtual background to an exciting destination. She dresses like she is really visiting the exotic locale based on the weather forecast and asks her date to do the same. It’s a fun way to escape and charm your date. 

Julie says she has reconnected with an old beau and has experimented with virtual sex which has been beneficial to the relationship. She says a lot of people are throwing virtual sex parties right now. 

Video dating is a great way to have an adult conversation without fearing the sexual tension that goes along with physical closeness. 

Toxic people can also come back into your life because people get lonely during quarantine. If an ex starts texting again ask yourself these questions: 

  • What didn't work about the relationship the first time?
  • How did we get to this point?
  • How have I changed?
  • How have they changed?
  • Are our goals the same?
  • What are the expectations of these new conversations?
  • How am I feeling about it? 

 

Takeaways from the Blind Date Experiment [28:25]

Julie and Yae started a blind date experiment before quarantine. There is one guy and three women. The guy had to speak with all three women three nights in a row and Julie and Yae gave him some conversation prompts designed to initiate deeper conversations. There was no baseline information such as age, race, height, etc. They wanted to see what connections could be made without the physical aspect. 

The guy had to pick one woman to meet in person and it wasn’t who the ladies of Dateable didn’t think it would be. 

A lot of people make their decision about someone just after one date, but with this experiment, the participants knew they had a minimum of three dates so they invested more time in getting to know one another. 

Julie's takeaway from the Love is Blind experiment is that there is something nice about just having audio, no visual because it causes you to deeply listen to the other person and to be present with them. 

The problem with online dating though is that people think they have enough information to judge someone. Superficial presets on dating apps are all surface level. We don't know if the other person is funny, caring, honest, etc. It causes people to pay more attention to the physical but the Love is Blind experiment allows daters to get past all that. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Dateable Podcast

Listen To Marni On Dateable's Podcast

Apr 24 2020

44mins

Play

With Paige Smathers: Tips on How to Find Joy in Your Food Without Binging or Dieting During the Pandemic and Beyond

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In our lifetime we have never before seen supermarket shelves empty. We may emotionally react to the perception of scarcity by hoarding food and binge eating. And, working from home so close to your refrigerator can be daunting. To discover how we can have a positive relationship with food during this pandemic Marni welcomes Registered Dietician/Nutritionist, Paige Smathers to the Den. Paige helps people heal their relationship with food and their body. She specializes in chronic dieting addiction recovery, eating disorders, and the family eating dynamic. Her approach to nutrition and health is grounded in mindfulness and is rooted in intuitive eating and health at every size. Paige is the owner of Positive Nutrition where she offers mentorship and coaching.  

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Overcoming the urge to hoard and binge eat
  • Giving yourself permission to take pleasure in eating
  • How to listen to your body and eat intuitively
  • Making the most out of the family sitting down to a meal
  • Why it’s not productive to micromanage your meals
A Sense of Scarcity [2:09]

What a shock it is to our system when we go to a grocery store only to find the shelves empty. We are not accustomed to not having enough food. We respond to these things by hoarding or buying in bulk. It has triggered a fear of scarcity in our entire society. 

And in our dieting culture, we make self-imposed cycles of trying to manipulate our bodies when it comes to food but during this pandemic, we are not in control of it. 

Paige reminds us that nothing about what is going on right now is normal. So, how do we shift? If we can make our eating as normalized as possible it will give us the best chance at nourishing our bodies so we stay healthy and function properly. She recommends staying within a normal diet as much as possible.

There is some room for enjoying food and tasting new things. We don't have to be ashamed to get pleasure or joy from food. 

It's time to stop that and accept that cooking can connect us to our culture and our families. We need that now more than ever. 

And, one of the biggest mistakes we make is to believe that it is wrong to enjoy food. We should enjoy preparing it, light a candle, play some music. Make it an enjoyable experience. 

 

The Intuitive Eating Framework  [9:34]

There is a lot to Intuitive Eating. It can be tricky to understand what it means. especially if you come from a diet mindset. It is nuanced but it is about deciding how you want to feel and how you want to function. 

Having a happy, healthy relationship with food is less about following rules; it's more about finding a way to approach food that works for you.

There is freedom in waking up to the fact that your body is wise. You will get the carbs your body needs. Your body will get it whether you give it to it in consistent, balanced meals or through bingeing at night. There is real wisdom in liberalizing your rules about food. We just need to tune in. Paige warns against micromanaging eating. It is the micromanaging that leads to bingeing, overeating, or dysfunction. 

Tapping into your self-compassion is the key to intuitive eating. Ask yourself these questions to move forward with a peaceful relationship with your body and food:

  • What has been true about you as a soul? 
  • How would you feed someone you love and care about? And, why?

Asking yourself these questions makes it easy to separate the manipulative way you may approach food and help to ground yourself into a reasonable. intuitive, kind, gentle, balanced approach. It can strip away that negative, punitive thought process we often have about feeding ourselves.

 

Working with the Fridge in the Next Room  [23:08]

Many people are now working from home and they are not accustomed to having their food so close. A lot of women are concerned about their families, their work, and what will happen tomorrow so they find themselves emotionally eating. 

Paige says not to worry emotional eating is a normal human thing. Food is inherently emotional. It does bring joy, connection, and goodness into our lives. The more we try to deprive ourselves of that the more disconnected we will be to the things that really matter. 

She adds, “One big mistake people make is approaching emotional eating from a place of never doing it and if they do it they feel they must feel super guilty about it. All that ends up doing is perpetuating the cycle of 'I better get it all in because I will be better tomorrow. I will never do it again.’ That thinking is what pushes them toward bingeing every time.” 

It sounds counter-intuitive but the paradox here is that the more you give yourself permission to enjoy the yumminess of life the more reasonable you can be around those foods. 

Emotional eating can bring a moment of joy into your world so it's ok to sit down and have some of what you love.

Be gentle with yourself when you work from home. It's a different transition. Check-in with your self-compassion. Give yourself permission to have a bit of structure. Block off time in your day to eat meals. and eat satisfying, full, legitimate meals. Not just a quick handful of something. 

Having a routine and structure around eating is important for you to function optimally especially during the pandemic. 

Satisfaction and satiation are part of this philosophy. Paige recommends putting food on a plate and eating it.  It works from a physiological and psychological perspective. 

If you are sitting down to boring food that makes you want to barf it's not sustainable and you will pendulum swing into binging. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Positive Nutrition with Paige Smathers

Apr 17 2020

39mins

Play

How to Take Control of Your Money Fears and Stay True to Your Core Values During a Pandemic with Bobby Mascia

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What a crazy time to be dating! Unemployment is rising, the market is dropping, and the media is polarized. Despite all of this, now is the time to keep a clear head about your financial concerns and investments. To discuss strategies on how to reduce your fear and make decisions from a healthy, calm place Marni speaks with Bobby Mascia, the Founder, and CEO of Greenridge Wealth Planning, an Independent Financial Planning Firm that specializes in financial planning, investment management for businesses, and individuals throughout the US. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • How to acknowledge your feelings about finances
  • 3 ways to look at diversification
  • Tips for small business owners and entrepreneurs during the pandemic
  • Should you refinance your house now?
  • How to find financial support from someone you can trust

 

Changes in the Market & Economy During the Corona Pandemic [2:53]

 The Coronavirus has caused mass unemployment, closed businesses, and is causing anxiety as the worldwide health crisis continues to spread. Financial markets are reacting to the numbers but some people aren’t concerning themselves with the recession they are focusing on the good deals they can now invest in. Bobby says that times like these are why we devise a holistic plan and a financial strategy to make you whole from now through retirement. 

Ask yourself: 

  1. How long do I think the Coronavirus will last?
  2. How long do I think the current recession will last?
  3. What is my time frame? Or, when do I want my money?

Based on his sources, Bobby thinks it could be 6-weeks to 6-months before we see real progress on a vaccination. And, for the markets to start shifting. He recommends having 6-months of cash assets set aside for emergencies like the current pandemic. 

 

Questions to Vet a Financial Advisor  [9:52]

 Bobby says when looking for any advisor there are two important characteristics they should embody: 

  1. They need to be transparent. 
  2. You need access to communication with them.  

The right financial advisor is a fiduciary advisor. This means that the advisor must have your best interest in mind. A word of warning is that commission-based advisors may have a conflict of interest. Make sure your advisor is transparent about their processes.

Bobby, Greenridge Group uses a well-planned Life Map system to ensure clients get what they want from their financial future. 

Consider what your resources are and what your advisor can do to help you attain your life goals. 

Your Financial Advisor should lay out a life-long investment plan for you and always have your best interest in mind. 

 

What if Financial Inequality or Income Disparity Exists in a Relationship?  [22:18]

Money is one of the largest causes of arguments in relationships. If a relationship is not financially secure the stress will be felt in other areas of your life. Bobby says it is important to discuss how money was handled in your partner’s childhood home. Marni says it is important to understand your partner’s financial philosophy by the third or fourth date. 

You have to decide if money is a determining factor in whether or not you can be happy with the other person? There are things you can put in place to mitigate problems but it comes down to how much the person with the debt or bad spending habits is willing to change. 

Shared accounts can cause issues. Each person should have their own bank account.

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Greenridge Wealth Planning

Advisors in Jeans Vlog

Contact Bobby

Apr 10 2020

39mins

Play

With Sherrie Toews and Tessa Alburn: How to Date So You Can Create Intimacy and Connection During Social Distancing

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The concept of social distancing doesn’t seem to bode well for creating romance and connection. But, during this time we have a unique opportunity to enrich our lives and the lives of others. To discuss different strategies of how we can grow in heart, mind, and spirit, Marni welcomes Dating with Dignity’s Master Coach and Guru of the 5-Keys program, Sherrie Toews and our Director of Training and Master Coach Tessa Alburn into the Den. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • 3 strategies to create intimacy and connection
  • How to decrease fear and anxiety
  • Creative ideas for virtual dates
  • The importance of turning inward during social distancing
  • How to be generous with yourself 

 

Inner Resources Help You Move Away from Fear and Anxiety [4:38]

 Tess Alburn says the number one thing we ladies can do to keep ourselves positive during this unintended slow time is to be present. Focus on what is happening at the moment. No what if's, or thoughts about what was. We are alive and today is beautiful! 

There are several ways to stay present: 

  • Meditation
  • Breathwork
  • Grounding
  • Being in nature

Sheri adds that it is important to stay focused on self-appreciation and what feels good in our bodies. Be curious and creative if your usual routine is not enough. Take baby steps but try new things while keeping structure in your life. 

Be careful not to make up stories about what you think you can't have or can't do. Routines will support you. You haven't lost control and you still have choices. 

Don't fall down the rabbit hole of disempowerment and into a victim mentality. Give yourself a smile.

 

Creating Relationships During Social Distancing [13:35]

Marni reminds us to be intentional about creating intimacy and connection during social distancing. There are ways to create new or enrich current relationships, even our relationship to self. 

Practice these three suggestions: 

  1. Tend current relationships or focus on the relationships we want to create.
  2. Turn inward. 
  3. Be generous with yourself and with others.

Virtual dates will likely become part of the new normal, at least for now. It’s easy to make the most of it while having fun and creating deep connections. In the last podcast episode, Mike Goldstein told us the process of asking for a virtual date. Now it’s time to get creative. 

Give yourself permission to be playful and risk it. Let yourself be sweet to someone.   

Social distancing offers a unique opportunity to turn inward and deal with your internal stuff. Anytime you feel challenged by the stillness, practice some emotional self-care. Start by acknowledging your feelings. Be honest about your fears and anxieties and give yourself permission to let them go. 

Be generous during this time and generate some love. 

Ask yourself ‘why does what I am feeling make sense?’ If you are critical or self-sabotaging yourself now, practice being an observer and stop judging yourself. Your inner critic may yell at you but if you stay in non-judgment you can calmly choose the next step. 

Talk to your body parts to understand how you may be holding on to stress from unexpressed feelings.

Generosity towards oneself isn't selfish. It helps us learn to receive and to create a loving relationship. Choose something daily to be generous to yourself with. It could be 15-min or an hour. Consider who you want to become? Ask yourself what your high ideals are. What do I care about? 

Being generous to others in this time of need can lift your spirits and the spirits of another person. A good example of things you can do is to color your own hair but send a check to your hairdresser. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Dating Den Podcasts #83, #104, and #155 with Sherrie Toews and Tessa Album

36 Questions To Ask In Virtual Dating with Mike G

Apr 03 2020

38mins

Play

With Mike Goldstein: How You Can Stand Out and Successfully Date Online During the CoronaVirus Pandemic

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The coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we live, work, and date but we all still crave connection and relationship. Our approach to dating apps and, dating in general, requires a gentle shift to accommodate the isolative guidelines. To inform us of how we can still find a high-quality man online and build more connection through a process of virtual dates Marni welcomes the #1 online dating expert in America, Mike Goldstein to the Den. Mike is a private dating coach, public speaker, and author. His work has been featured on the Today show and in Reader’s Digest. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Should you change your online profile to accommodate quarantine?
  • The step-by-step process of how to have a fun virtual date
  • How to create connection during the pandemic
  • How to use your time wisely by collecting data
  • How to find love in the time of corona

 

Dating During Distancing [2:32]

Mike and Marni both recommend staying away from the doom and gloom. You can keep yourself informed without drowning in the negative aspects of what is happening. You can let your circumstances dictate your vision or you can let your vision guide you during this time. 

Marni thinks that for women this is an especially awesome time to do virtual dating. Mike says it's a great opportunity to use virtual dating to focus on connection. When dating or meeting someone new, women often want connection before sex. The pandemic and quarantine are forcing us to go through the dating process. It gives us the time to find out if you are compatible with the other person. 

Make an effort to really get to know each other on your virtual dates.

Mike shares an example of how the corona pandemic is giving one of his clients the time she always wanted. Use your time wisely and ask yourself what your future self wants? 

During the coronavirus pandemic, single men and women are craving connection because we are not getting it.  

What has Changed with Virtual Dating During Corona? [10:21]

 It is still recommended to follow Mike’s 50/12/1 strategy on Match.com, OK Cupid,  or eHarmony. Send 50 messages to guys you are interested in, 12 will say yes, and then narrow it down to one. The new ‘pandemic’ process includes asking for a 15-minute Facetime/Zoom/Skype, etc. call. Even if the call is going great, get off the call at the 15-minute mark, Mike says. Setting a boundary will give you a sense of control. 

The ‘pandemic’ dating process includes some tweaks: 

  1. Change your intro message. A good example is... "Would you like to hop on a virtual call to get to know each other?" If you felt a connection ask for a second virtual connection.

  1. Your second virtual date should be limited to 1-hour or 90 minutes to get to know each other. Focus on having fun. Ladies, don’t hold back. If you think of a creative idea for a virtual date let him know. Be fun and playful but set a time boundary. It builds anticipation and leaves him wanting more. 

  1.  If you believe the person has potential during the third virtual date get a copy of the 36 questions to fall in love. Mike recommends the questionnaire and says it's a great tool that really works. It makes for a fun, playful date. 

Just because you are not going ‘out’ on a date, put your best foot forward. Men are visual. Dress the way that makes you feel the best! 

 

Making the Most of Virtual Dating [32:57]

Data collecting is an important aspect of dating so why not use the time of extended virtual interactions to collect as much data as possible. Studies show that one of the top four things in terms of people getting together is proximity. So, be strategic and centralize your search radius to find a man closer to you.  Mike points out that dating is already hard and it gets harder when people live far away.

Use your time wisely, try to avoid talking about the pandemic. Be different and change the topic if it comes up to something fun. 

Remember, we are all going through this pandemic together for the first time. Get creative with your connection options. Suggest fun dating ideas you both can share virtually. 

  • Netflix offers a new service where you can watch a movie together with someone and includes a chat feature so you can discuss the film or show. 

  • Write down your top 3 goals. If finding connection and a relationship is one of them, it’s OK to be aggressive about it. Everyone is craving connection right now. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

36 Questions to Fall In Love

Apr 01 2020

48mins

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With Matt Boggs: 7 Sexy Habits That Create Connection and Will Get His Attention

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For practical advice on the seven sexy habits that drive men wild, Marni welcomes the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and  creator of the Cracking the Man Code seminar, Matt Boggs into the den. Matt helps millions of people around the world understand the hearts and minds of the opposite sex and how they can attract the relationship they desire. He is a sought after dating and relationship expert. He's been featured on the Today Show, CNN, Headline News, and Oprah & Friends. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • What flirting is and isn’t
  • What men need from a woman
  • Strategies for showing a guy you are interested without going overboard
  • How to express your sexual energy
  • How to say no to a guy if you are not interested in him

 

Driving Men Wild in the Time of #Metoo [2:36]

All of Matt's work revolves around supporting and empowering women in their love life. During the time of #Metoo, men have been shifting their behavior in how much attraction they are willing to show especially in certain environments. There has been a pullback from men when it comes to making the first move.  

Are men afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing? Marni says ‘Yes’. Therefore, women need to make it clear they are interested so guys know it's ok to approach us and show us they are interested. 

Women sometimes falsely think that men have all the power in a relationship. The truth is the woman has way more power and influence in the dating, courting, and attraction phase of the relationship. Throughout history, in relationships where there is a ton of chemistry and connection it is the woman who sends the signal and chooses the man. 

To get a guy’s attention, making eye contact and smiling may not be enough. If you want to be bold beckon him over with your finger. You can be proactive AND feminine.

 

The Over/ Under Challenge [10:57]

One of the biggest challenges in dating is when you feel attraction for another person you either overcompensate, or over demonstrate attraction for them. This is when a woman gushes over a man which is a total turn off. Men value what they earn so when a woman gushes too early it triggers something in a guy that makes them think the woman does it for everyone and therefore they are not special. It deflates the attraction.

The under is toxic to the attraction also. It's when a woman plays the ice queen as if they are not interested at all. Older and more successful women are more likely to act reserved. They may be afraid of getting hurt or they may not want to lead a guy on. 

For a man to move things forward, a woman needs to demonstrate she is attracted to him.  A woman's willingness to share her sexual attraction for a man is paramount. Sex is the main thing that differentiates a friendship from a romantic partnership.

  • Flirting doesn't mean you have to have sex with a man. 
  • Flirting is not slutty.
  • Flirting is not manipulating. 
  • Flirting is recognizing that you are ready for a romantic partner. 

In the dating game everyone is playing the same game. Rejection shouldn't stop you from playing the dating game nor should it devastate you. 

 

The 7 Sexy Habits that Drive a Guy Wild [20:44]

Matt shares seven tactics you can use to express your sexual energy that men love. Expressing these seven things will boost a man’s attraction and desire for you. 

  1. Walking with a sway in your hips. 
  2. Eat more sensually. 
  3. Whisper in his ear. 
  4. The way you sing to yourself. 
  5. The way you dance. 
  6. The way you attack your man in bed. 
  7. The way you go for your dreams. 

A woman in joy is highly attractive to a man. 

 

Barriers to Implementing Sexy Strategies [30:59]

The number one barrier to implementing these strategies is feeling like you are leading a guy on and then that you may be disappointing or rejecting him. 

When you reject a man it's not devastating to him. You are not responsible for his emotions or experience. You are simply freeing him up to find someone who is right for him. It's ok that it is just not a match. If a man approaches you and you are not interested, Matt recommends using this response “I'm flattered and I honor your courage. Unfortunately, I'm not available and I wish you the best of luck in your search for love." 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

15 Phrases That Ignite Desire in Men

Mar 27 2020

42mins

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With Mark Waldman: The 10 Second Strategy to Train Your Brain to Create Connection with a High-Quality Guy

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Marni welcomes Neuroscience Researcher and Creator of Neuroscience 101, Mark Waldman. Mark is the author of fourteen books including the national bestseller, How God Changes Your Brain, a book that was chosen by Oprah as a must-read. His work has been published in neuroscience and psychology journals, in Time and Forbes, and he is featured in many Youtube videos and a TEDx talk.

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Why women make better leaders
  • An 10-second exercise to be calm instantly
  • How to control your runaway thoughts
  • How to prep your mind for a first date
  • A likely cause depression

 

Neurowisdom is the New Science of Brain Science [2:35]

 Mark coined the term ‘neurowisdom’ for the time when we think we are being knowledgeable. Our brains have a thinking network, a salience network, and an imagination network. The salience network is stronger in women than in men. Empathy, intuition, compassion, and self-love traits can all be attributed to the salience network. When you stimulate the salience part of your brain you balance out your creative imagination and your ability to make wise decisions. 

Men, on the other hand, have a larger amygdala, which is the threat center of the brain. Research suggests that this explains why men are more aggressive in general. The thinking brain is our conscious planning mind where we carry out tasks. Mark believes that women make better leaders, therapists, and parents because of their more developed salience network. If you have a female brain your social brain is more developed.

Research shows that all mammals can be born with a male or female body but the brain develops autonomously with different hormones. It explains a lot of the conflict around gender identity. 

 

How to Create Connection & Intimacy by Optimizing Your Brain [12:08]

 Are you aware of the term ‘hot-headed’? Mark says that yawning is a thermal regulatory mechanism for the brain.  When you yawn more cerebral blood flow circulates in your imagination center. Yawning slows down all the chatter in the thinking part of the thinking brain. 

While we can’t live full-time in the empathetic part of the brain, diving into a meditative state or any form of relaxed meditative practice stimulates your salience network. Any time you take a few seconds to sit back and observe all of your rambling thoughts and feelings inside, you are creating a balance between the three networks and your motivational network.

Mindfulness practices can make substantial structural changes within the brain. But to function better right now in the moment, brief forms of meditation have an immediate effect. To become aware in an instant, download the mindfulness clock and take 10-60 seconds at a time to do a mindful yawn. This can be done at work or right before a date.  

80% of the time you can take someone who has intense pain and bring their pain down to zero or one with yawning in 20 minutes.

 

Creating a Mindful State Before a Date [35:56]

An important way to stay calm is to pay attention to your intuition and take your fingers and stroke the palm and fingers of your opposite palm. Take a full 60 seconds to do it and become aware of the sensation and daydream.

Your imagination center puts together all kinds of thoughts and combinations of what is possible to achieve a particular goal. When you are in a relaxed mindful state of awareness you can mix your inner knowledge with outer knowledge. 

When someone asks you a question, try to respond in 10 or 20 words maximum because that is all a person can consistently listen to.  

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

6-Days to Enlightenment with Mark Waldman

NeuroTips for Money, Happiness & Success with Mark Waldman

Mar 20 2020

43mins

Play

Bachelor, Season 24 Two-Day Finale Recap — With Chris Gillis: You Are Not Immune from Making These Top 10 Dating Mistakes

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In this episode, Marni and her favorite man-panelist, Chris Gillis break down the two-day finale to pull out all the juicy nuggets you need to know. Together, they translate the show’s drama into real-life dating and relationship scenarios you can use in your life to make finding a real, high-quality guy easier. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • Understanding your non-negotiables and being in integrity with yourself
  • Identifying patterns in your failed relationships
  • The importance of being open, honest, and vulnerable
  • The purpose of slowing down and being curious about your partner
  • Choosing a partner solely to get validation
  • Knowing when to compromise and when it’s martyrdom

 

Meeting the Family [1:43]

During the show when meeting Barbara, Hannah Anne walks in and wants to fit in and be liked. But Madison's actions were more cryptic. She was 3-hours late and seemed a bit harsh. There was a superficial exchange and poor communication between Barbara and Madison. 

Marni asks when you are considering a long-term relationship where do you draw the line between what the family thinks and how you want to live your life? Should it be a Megan and Harry type thing when you pull out completely or some form of compromise?

Chris believes this subject should be talked about and understood by both partners before it is time to meet the family. Marni says when family is a core value it means you want to spend time with the family as a couple, share holidays, etc. 

We get so caught up in being enamored with each other when dating sometimes we fail to ask the important questions like what faith or family looks like for the other person. 

  

Breaking Up Isn’t Hard to Do [8:04]

In the desert, Madison breaks up with Peter. She says she loves him but they live different lives. She says love is necessary but not sufficient. 

Chris thinks Peter wasn't honest with himself and was trying to live up to someone else's ideals. It's attractive when someone can be open and vulnerable but Peter was setting himself up for failure. 

Marni notes that Peter has a belief that love conquers all and if you love someone you can get through anything. But, Madison was not willing to compromise anything and Peter would have had to compromise himself completely. She thinks Peter’s family has a different way of expressing his faith that is a bit rigid.  

When deciding on a long-term partner you might want to be flexible about your non-negotiables. 

After Madison breaks up with Peter he decides he doesn't want to lose Hannah Anne. But is it really about love?  

Marni points out that Peter knows Hanna Anne is a great person but he may not be over his ex. She shares how a situation like this may have been handled better and the different options Peter could have used to be more open, honest, and vulnerable. Peter is falling into the trap of loving anyone who loves him to get validated.

 

Being Attracted to Drama Syndrome [33:56]

For Peter, the feeling of love is a feeling of being challenged, and that is an unhealthy way to experience love. Both he and Hannah Anne are people pleasers. 

If you identify with this pattern, Marni says that should be the number one issue to address to improve your relationships. 

Out of the women on the show, Marni thinks that possibly Kelsey and Peter may be a match because of their shared emotional immaturity. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Mar 14 2020

41mins

Play

With Shawna Kenney: How to Use Narrative Writing to Uncover Your Blocks in Dating

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Marni welcomes Editor, Author, and Writing Coach, Shawna Kenney into the den to discuss her award-winning memoir I Was a Teenage Dominatrix and to explain how writing out our journey can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves. Shawna edited Marni’s book, How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates and she is a contributing editor of Narratively magazine and an instructor at UCLA Extension Writers Program. 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

  • The power of writing your story
  • How to reframe experiences from the point of view of others
  • How to get started writing your hero’s journey
  • How to identify your strengths

 

I Was a Teenage Dominatrix  [2:36]

Shawna shares the details about the job that funded her college life. She answered an ad in the newspaper and without much sexual experience she worked for six years as a dominatrix in Washington,  DC. 

After becoming a journalist, she found herself telling stories around the office. Her story was different than the other memoirs she read at the time. For Shawna, being a dominatrix was a means to an end. She was free of drugs and alcohol and she wasn't ashamed of what she did. Her narrative was different from others. 

Shawna says ’writing your story allows you to reflect. The stories we hold are curated. We are the editors of our own story. It gives us a chance to look back at the facts of our lives and consider our strong points and have compassion for ourselves.

 

The Power of Writing Your Story [11:16]

As a writing coach and teacher, Shawna says that when writing the first drafts of our stories we sometimes miss our strengths. It is helpful to have a coach or have others read the story to point our strengths out. When we are the reader and the writer we look for negative aspects instead of the positive.

Other people can pull things out of your story that you may have missed because you were too busy living it to notice.

In a process she calls ‘Reframing It’ Shawna describes how we can start the writing process. Take one story and write it all out and then go back a few days later and write a second version with more compassion for the characters involved. Notice the changes with subsequent edits. You can tell the same story in a hundred different ways. 

Psychological studies show that people who have themes of personal agency and exploration in their own stories have higher levels of well-being and less depression. 

If you are having trouble getting started, consider what therapy would cost and consider the benefits of therapeutic writing. Unless you are thinking of publishing, it doesn't matter how good you are. Find little bits of time. Take a class. Writing is a skill that can be sharpened and honed. 

 

The Hero's Journey [18:46]

Shawna describes the hero’s journey. The hero hears a call to adventure which requires them to leave home where they encounter mentor figures. They form allies and friendships, then they encounter problems and enemies but through their experience, they are reborn and transformed by encountering new challenges and obstacles. They return home transformed and resurrected. 

It's a good exercise to see yourself as a hero of your journey and then seeing yourself as a character on the page. It helps you to identify your strengths. 

Experiences shape us and they are all valuable. Even if you are hurting at first because of them you will find later they are valuable. You may even thank them. 

Make a Connection:

Visit Our Website

Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!

Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden

Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!

Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP

Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Shawna Kenney

Mar 13 2020

36mins

Play

iTunes Ratings

179 Ratings
Average Ratings
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8
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Julie & Yue

By Mary Gladstone - May 06 2020
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Loved this episode! Stuck in quarantine & miss my small circle of girlfriends. Listening to Marni is like having a glass of wine with a good friend (the few who tell you the REAL truth even when it’s tough to hear). Marni advocates keeping boundaries while maintaining your femininity. ❤️

One of the BEST podcasts I’ve found!

By momtagrapher - Feb 23 2020
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As a single woman in my 40’s raising two teen girls, this podcast feels like it’s speaking directly to me. Not only is Marni energetic and hilarious, the guests she brings on are high quality and offer real insight and solutions. I love that most episodes focus on SELF. While there is discussion of human behavior, the jest is to be your best self and the goodness will follow. This is so much bigger than another dating podcast; it’s a new life lesson in each episode. Don’t sleep on this one!