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The Story Must Be Told

Updated 2 months ago

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Surreal fiction anthology, framed as a bizarre church service. Every other Tuesday, join Brother Reid, Pastor Andrew, and Sister Callista to worship the Story! Hear our greasy prayers! Delight in our healthy psalms, uh huh! Then bask in the Story—handsomely produced tales of dark humor, freakish sci-fi, and oddly touching literary horror. Start with any episode—the Story is waiting for you!TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. All stories written by Pastor Andrew and Brother Reid. Production and original music by Carl Schroeder. Twitter, Instagram: @TSMBTpod

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Surreal fiction anthology, framed as a bizarre church service. Every other Tuesday, join Brother Reid, Pastor Andrew, and Sister Callista to worship the Story! Hear our greasy prayers! Delight in our healthy psalms, uh huh! Then bask in the Story—handsomely produced tales of dark humor, freakish sci-fi, and oddly touching literary horror. Start with any episode—the Story is waiting for you!TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. All stories written by Pastor Andrew and Brother Reid. Production and original music by Carl Schroeder. Twitter, Instagram: @TSMBTpod

iTunes Ratings

429 Ratings
Average Ratings
380
24
7
6
12

Gosh and Golly

By HoboCop - Apr 08 2020
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Five Big Stars for The Story. Gee it’s swell. Turn it up and let the neighbors know.

TSMBT

By Ross0827 - Jan 29 2020
Read more
the story... MUST... be told

iTunes Ratings

429 Ratings
Average Ratings
380
24
7
6
12

Gosh and Golly

By HoboCop - Apr 08 2020
Read more
Five Big Stars for The Story. Gee it’s swell. Turn it up and let the neighbors know.

TSMBT

By Ross0827 - Jan 29 2020
Read more
the story... MUST... be told
Cover image of The Story Must Be Told

The Story Must Be Told

Latest release on Aug 11, 2020

Read more

Surreal fiction anthology, framed as a bizarre church service. Every other Tuesday, join Brother Reid, Pastor Andrew, and Sister Callista to worship the Story! Hear our greasy prayers! Delight in our healthy psalms, uh huh! Then bask in the Story—handsomely produced tales of dark humor, freakish sci-fi, and oddly touching literary horror. Start with any episode—the Story is waiting for you!TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. All stories written by Pastor Andrew and Brother Reid. Production and original music by Carl Schroeder. Twitter, Instagram: @TSMBTpod

Rank #1: 3. An Audience with the Queen

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today we celebrate the feast day of sain't jo, in whose matronage we engage so ruefully: lewdness, grotesquerie, tragedy. we are blessed with this liturgy frothy n fearful from Sister Callista of the Queasy Madre. sniff it down, yon juicies

Invocation
Psalm: “O! Honey”
Liturgical Reading: “An Audience With The Queen”
Concluding Prayer

what truths we stink we stink for thee. come back next tuesday n we’ll tell ya a gooey one uh huh

Merch juicy: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon pulpy: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Feb 13 2018

20mins

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Rank #2: 89. The Forgotten Man

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Forget your mom! Forget your dad! Forget your siblings! Forget everything if it means remembering the Story. Forget your own dang self, heck, see if the Story cares. The Story cares about you only if you LOVE the Story to your own ruin. It is NOT a dick move.

Invocation
The Matter of Chalms’ Disappearance
Liturgical Reading: “The Forgotten Man”
A Baptism

VIDEOS. Yes! VIDEOS! Watch: youtube.com/thestorymustbetold

Oct 29 2019

35mins

Play

Rank #3: 4. A Perfect Vessel

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on this day we remember a patron true a saint of courage and unshakable faith. that's why we all wear our prettiest clothes and paint our faces and present such handsome grins and firm grips of hand. it's why i wear red. what tender boundary tween belief n delusion, how it quivers with our pulse

Introductory Prayer
Psalm: “The Furrier’s Coat” / “You Do Know”
Liturgical Reading: “A Perfect Vessel”
Brother Reid’s Song
Church Bulletin

im not ready to leave you, promise me youll find me soon gosh i need you to feel whole

Merch, for Phonies: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Imposters: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Feb 20 2018

19mins

Play

Rank #4: 82. Last Impressions - Guest Preacher Henry Zebrowski

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Anyone could be you. You are a buncha bodily tics and vocal inflections. A rude friend or knowing coworker could rip you apart to everyone’s amusement, you bet. Could rip you up like deli cuts of ham, heh heh.

Guest Preacher: Henry Zebrowski (Last Podcast on the Left, Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell)

Invocation
Impressions of the Clergy
Liturgical Reading: “Last Impressions”
Concluding Prayer

Next week we got something spicy, and it’ll get you grinning, most like.

Aug 06 2019

23mins

Play

Rank #5: 60. They Made A Strange Love - Guest Preacher Joe Pera

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Love is like the faint reek of urine: it’s in the air. Breathe deep, brothers and sisters, and welcome the Story’s acid love into your mush of bronchial tubes. Become hamburger for your partner, mush between their fingers, and gel between their toes. Love can mean a lot, but to the Story, it means becoming a fine human paste.

Guest Preacher: Joe Pera (Joe Pera Talks with You, Dan Joe DVD Show)

Invocation
Psalm: “Rude Tattoos”
Liturgical Reading: “They Made a Strange Love”
Concluding Prayer

Join us next week, or we’ll find you.

Mar 19 2019

21mins

Play

Rank #6: 90. Family Union

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Some families are small, some are swollen and grotesque. Some families have daddies, some have secrets. The Crispos invite you to learn about their aged clan—do you dare deny them?

Invocation
Testimonial: The Dream of Sister Callista
Liturgical Reading: “Family Union”
Concluding Prayer

We have merch and more is on the way. Check it truly here:
https://topatoco.com/collections/last-podcast

Nov 12 2019

37mins

Play

Rank #7: 28. The Boat That Went To Hell - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks

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All kinds of boats out there, with funny names, too. Brigantine. Schooner. Paddle. In a way, this here church is a boat, and each of you a mate upon its deck. Swab it, dear congregation, to earn your place in the captain’s chambers amidst the dribbling candles and ill-gotten liquors. Do not drink too much, for the captain is one of lechery, and our destination one of sin and tears.

Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, Page 7)

Invocation
Psalm: “Secrets to Sailors”
Liturgical Reading: “The Boat That Went To Hell”
Concluding Prayer

Yep yep we gobbled that story down like a pastry of vice n uh ohs. What sweet it hath delected upon us, we unfaithful masses, who stir with what the Story hath sired.

Aug 07 2018

28mins

Play

Rank #8: 91. Maps Of The North

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A stranger is coming! When they confront you, will you endure or crumple? Heh heh, oh, congregant, the question was rhetorical! We all crumple before the stranger—when the stranger is the STORY.

Invocation
Psalm: “Four Showers”
Liturgical Reading: “Maps of the North”
Concluding Prayer

A Story symbol pin! A Cro-Croa mug! Coming oh so soon. Await it here:
https://topatoco.com/collections/last-podcast

Nov 26 2019

35mins

Play

Rank #9: 5. Super Value Menu

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yes uh huh some of us enjoy the salty treats of food which is fast, and others of us depend upon yon morsels, teeth decrepit from substance and poverty. how fates intertwine, how doom swells and rains its pregnant waters over us all, the greasy and the not-so-greasy. reflect! renounce! repent!

Invocation
Psalm: “The Fish, the Filth”
Liturgical Reading: “Super Value Menu”

yup yup we’ll be back next week and the week after that and the week after that and we’ll never die

Merch, ok?: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, alright?: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Feb 27 2018

21mins

Play

Rank #10: 37. The Boys Open

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Two boys in the courthouse. Two boys with the clerk. Two boys in the swimming pool. Two boys out to work. Gosh, all those boys! Of course, sometimes one slides under the tractor, turns to boyslaw. Can’t help that! Oh, how the boys leave us, in their great numbers, to writhe their puny sinnin’ souls in Boyrgatory. This treat from our first season will grin sweetly in your ears as we wrench ourselves gruesome on the needy gears of our Live Show, which we birth this Thursday. Goo goo, slick slick.

Invocation
Sacrament: The Blessing of the Boys
Liturgical Reading: “The Boys Open”
Concluding Prayer

That gooey live show truth is arriving oh so damn shortly. Videology Bar in Brooklyn, October 11th. Tickets here: https://thestorymustbetoldlive.eventbrite.com/

Oct 09 2018

17mins

Play

Rank #11: 46. The Mathematics Of Grocery Stores

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The grocer is our friend in commerce and our enemy in the Story. We do not deserve options for cereal, nor variety in our nut butters, whole wheat crackers, and lunchmeat. Give us but one choice, so that we might smack it up in our greedy mouths, and masticate masticate masticate. Hmmph. The Story alone is our satisfaction, and when food runs out, which it will, it alone will fill us.

Invocation
Psalm: “Web of Delights”
Liturgical Reading: “The Mathematics of Grocery Stores”
Concluding Admonition

The Story will return to you next week, hot as a ham, juicy as a coldcut. Sup sup!

Dec 11 2018

26mins

Play

Rank #12: 50. The Son Of God Dies from Multiple Stab Wounds

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I’ll make you my son if you don’t behave, and you won’t like what happens to my sons. Ohh they do ALL of daddy’s chores, and of mommy they must anoint. It’s a threat, and it’s TRUE, whether you are mother, aunt, or nephew, you’ll all suffer as sons. This Story is a testament to how easily a son is named and exchanged, and how all sons grow inconvenienced on the turbulent winds of discourse.

Invocation
Psalm: “Anointed in Yoghurt”
Liturgical Reading: “The Son of God Dies from Multiple Stab Wounds”
Concluding Prayer

Next Tuesday is a day for treats, as the Story is once again gooily invoked.

Check out our new short film, “The Dog the Boy”
https://vimeo.com/226796022
Or see it as part of a live TSMBT service:
https://vimeo.com/297286015

Jan 15 2019

22mins

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Rank #13: 51. The House Of Crispo Part 1

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Cherish the disobedient child. Cherish their ignorance. For only the rude and stupid can be enveloped into the heart of the Story. It is our duty to bring new, empty minds to the Story, to our homes, so it may fill them with the light of Story. Oh Story! May we harvest a human crop for you.

Invocation
Psalm: “The Light of the Father”
Liturgical Reading: “The House of Crispo Part 1”
Concluding Prayer

Next Tuesday we return. Next Tuesday, we finish this.

Check out our new short film, “The Dog the Boy”
https://vimeo.com/226796022
Or see it as part of a live TSMBT service:
https://vimeo.com/297286015

Jan 22 2019

22mins

Play

Rank #14: 92. Hot Pics Wedding Rings OK - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski

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Ohh send me a sexy pic, sexfriend. Heh heh, oh I’m a person alright, wink wink hush, a sexperson ready to sex, sex, sex! All I need is a lil ol thing called, um, your social security number ;)

Guest: Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski (Get tickets for the Page 7/Wizard and the Bruiser live shows at www.lastpodcastnetwork.com/p7live)

Patreon announcement
Invocation
Grease Fire!
Liturgical Reading: “Hot Pics Wedding Rings OK”
Concluding Prayer

Ooh gander upon the Story symbol pin! The Cro-Croa mug! They are now available at
www.topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

Dec 10 2019

42mins

Play

Rank #15: 93. More More More Christmas Heresies

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False holiday alarm! Ring ring ralse! If this bell’s a-ringin’ then a Story is false. On this day, we arrive early, for no reason, only to give you extra time upon which to stew on these heresies true. STEW!

Invocation
Uncle Story
Liturgical Reading: “More More More Christmas Heresies”
Concluding Prayer

A patreon has come to you, healthy and honest! Join the 522 Club and hear a new “podcast” Patreon.com/tsmbt

Dec 23 2019

29mins

Play

Rank #16: 57. The Bear Musician - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks

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The Story sloshed over the rim of the Story cup, and did spill one fresh for you. In this special bonus service, we witness a young Bruno, and his cowardice before the agony of Story. This Story originally appeared in "Creepypasta XIII: A Meat's Dream" on Last Podcast on the Left. We relive this Story—sup upon its eager drips!

Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, Page 7)
Invocation
Psalm: “Check the Trunk”
Liturgical Reading: “The Bear Musician”
Concluding Prayer

Enjoy this special treat of Story pure. We return on Tuesday with your regularly scheduled service, sweet sweet.

Mar 01 2019

19mins

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Rank #17: 23. When Dominoes Pizza Let A Teen Die - Guest Preacher Holden McNeely

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Wear that grin between grease-soaked lips and chew the curds of delights digested. Let the bolus yon esophagus squelches die within ye, turn to dribbling juices and bubbles of harsh swampen gases. We are bodies, hosts of parasites, tombs of delivery morsels, avatars of corporate wisdom. Listen closely to Reverend Holden, mm hmm. Follow his words, and pick a brand with consideration; it may be the only brand you’ll pick again.

Guest Preacher: Reverend Holden McNeely (Wizard and the Bruiser podcast, holdenatorsho on Twitch)

Invocation
Psalm: “Pizza Party Ire”
Liturgical Reading: “When Dominoes Pizza Let a Teen Die”
Concluding Prayer

Guess it should be said that all characters and events in this story, even the ones based on real breathing gooey companies, are fictional. Though, c’mon, it’s probably not that fictional, right? Maybe a grease of truth dripped somewhere within? Hey. Don’t sue.

Jul 03 2018

23mins

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Rank #18: 67. Hoofs And Feet

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A barnyard animal makes barnyard noises and behaves as though all the world, the very universe, is a barnyard. They kick up mud, and make a toilet of any dang carpet. We can learn gentle grace from our barnyard companions! We can learn to “take it easy,” and make our puddle wherever we do choose. Oh Story! Thank you for your profound examples to us, the congregation.

Invocation
Psalm: “Cory Had a Little Lamb”
Liturgical Reading: “Hoofs and Feet”
Concluding Prayer

Tuesday is the day the Story comes to life, groans sweetly, and crawls inside your ear. It’ll happen to you next Tuesday, squirm-style.

Apr 30 2019

28mins

Play

Rank #19: 68. When You Watch Me

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This one is for you, in all your greasy splendor. Do you like it when I talk about your greases? Heh heh, yeah, that's what I thought. Ooh, you better listen to this one, because you're a part of it, and soon, it will be all you remember.

Invocation
Psalm: “How to Swallow Loose Change for the Story”
Liturgical Reading: “When You Watch Me"
Concluding Prayer

We return on Tuesdays, Tuesday-style, and this next Tuesday will be no exception—OK?

May 07 2019

28mins

Play

Rank #20: 55. Ghosts Are Hazy Life

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Life is a spectrum, full of mushy inbetweens only alive enough to know pain. Not everything which is dead was once alive, but all that lives, however minutely, does perish. Ha! Haha! The Story teaches us even full life is but half life, and half life is but a web of memories disappearing. Squint and you can see it, but how easily it is brushed to threads. So the Story sayeth: ooooooOOooooohhhhh.

Invocation
Psalm: “The Agony Table”
Liturgical Reading: “Ghosts Are Hazy Life”
Concluding Prayer

Truths abound, Stories enflamed, we love the Story, we speak Its name. See your fresh greases next week squish squish.

Feb 19 2019

29mins

Play

109. The Grief Market - Guest Preacher Jackie Zebrowski

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You’ll never miss no one as much as you miss CELEBRITY. CELEBRITY is how you know what it means to live. No one alive is happier than CELEBRITY—so when they die it’s a-mournin’ time, heh heh. HONK HONK, GRIEF GRIEF.

Guest Preacher: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 Podcast, @jackthatworm on Instagram)

Invocation
Petitions for Dutiful Congregants
Liturgical Reading: “The Grief Market”
Concluding Prayer

In two weeks we can stew again in the hot flavors of STORY.

Merch so HOT: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon so SENSUAL: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Aug 11 2020

38mins

Play

108. The First Photo of God - Guest Preacher Elliott Friesen

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The separation of church and state don’t mean SHIT. Yeah, mix em up, bay-bee. Gimme some church in my state, especially in my secret government directives, ooh ooh. What would the government do with our taxes, and faith in an unseen god? Perhaps, they’d try to take a lil ol peek, heh heh.

Guest Preacher: Elliott Friesen
Acoustic Guitar: Elliott Friesen

Invocation
Zoom difficulties
Liturgical Reading: “The First Photo of God”
Additional Difficulties

Come back in two weeks for more truth, if you’re devout true.

Holy Merch: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon Divine: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Jul 29 2020

37mins

Play

107. Cardinal Larson in “The Night of the Historical Jesus”

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A talking dog found today’s guest, who delivers a Story about SPICY, oh so sweet LOVE. Cardinal Larson, you rascal, and also: you tragic lover. Listen to this high octane friggin ride, and ask yourself: are you TOUGH ENOUGH to defend your love from a scorned A-list celebrity congregant?

Invocation
Cardinal Larson Returns
Liturgical Reading: “The Night of the Historical Jesus”
A Cardinal’s Goodbye

What a dang thrillhouse, hot hoo hoo. Come on back for more in two weeks.

Merch, for Zanes: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Zeta-Joneses: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Jul 14 2020

36mins

Play

106. The Recovered Diary

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Nothing helps time in isolation like a little woof woof, a little bark bark grr grr ruff ruff. Talking DOGS. But remember: sometimes a pet is just a friend who will watch you die. After you're gone, they might even do more than watch! Nibble nibble, crunch crunch.

Invocation
Ruff ruff yip yip
Liturgical Reading: “The Recovered Diary”
Woodrow’s Burden

Ohhhh a special guest is coming in two weeks, until then enjoy a 522 Club next week.

Merch, for Woof Woofs: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Yip Yips: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Jun 30 2020

26mins

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105. I Seen Locusts Out Back

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Hey! Yes you! Get out of the dirt and come inside; we got mourning to do. Yes, mourn a fresh one with us, mourn until you’re dry. Guests are coming, and they want to see your grief.

A Secret Meeting
The Break Room
Liturgical Reading: “I Seen Locusts Out Back”
Devon’s Warning

The 522 Club is next week for patrons, then a fresh Story for all us lay people proper the week after.

Merch, for Locusts: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Pigmen: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Jun 16 2020

29mins

Play

104. Yuck Yuck in My Mouth for a Dollar

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Devon! What are you doing here? This is no place for you! Get out! OUT! Ohh, you rascal. Well, do what you want, because this Story will happen to YOU. Yeah. YOU. You think you like jokes but you ain’t heard jokes like THIS before. Sleep tiiiight.

Invocation
Petitions for Worthy Congregants
Liturgical Reading: “Yuck Yuck in My Mouth for a Dollar”
The Truth about Devon

Tune in to our Patreon for a 522 Club next week, then come back home to the Story the next week for a STORY.

Merch, for Yucks: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Dollars: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Jun 02 2020

22mins

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103. Good Night My Love - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks, featuring Jackie Zebrowski

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When parasites fill your abdomen, take a deep breath, see your primary care provider, and ENJOY it. As a new host, try to name your new parasites with care. Welcome to the beautiful new you.

Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space, www.lastpodcastlive.com for new special $6.66)
Featuring: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm)

Invocation
Petitions for Worthy Congregants
Story: “Good Night My Love”
Template for Leaving Your Family

A new 522 Club next week, and after that a new, spicy Story. Ooh ooh!

Merch, for Hosts: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Parasites: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

May 19 2020

38mins

Play

102. Are You Afraid of the Story?

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Hello? Who’s there? The Church is CLOSED. Oh! Goodness! It’s just you, listener.

Join the clergy in the dead of night, in the empty Church, as we recount our share of spookies:

Brother Reid Endures a Visitor
Sister Callista Surrenders to the Parcel
Pastor Andrew Interrupts Tragedy

Oh how we wish the congregation could join us in hot, steamy PERSON.

Merch, for Bodies: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Souls: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

May 05 2020

30mins

Play

101. The Perfect Man

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Marriage consumes lives as often as it saves them. Have you been consumed by a partner, whole, so every piece of you seeks to serve the other? On the tottering seesaw of codependence, were your feet on the ground, or did you wobble in the sky, eyes focused solely on the greedy heft of your spouse? What sound will you make when you fall?

This service to this here Story was crafted in conjunction with loyal patron and VIP Story Glory Guard Congregant Skylar S. Grease upon you!

Invocation
Psalm: “Babybotomies”
Corporate Sponsor: Paul Giamatti’s Giamatteeth
Liturgical Reading: “The Perfect Man”
A Plea for Teeth

Merch: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Non-Canon Tracks Utilized as source music by This Story (in order of use):
Jazz Tune by Loops Lab
Catchy Country by Andy Slater
Cuban Samba by StellarTracks
Church Organ by Stockwaves
Electro Jam by StudioMonkey

Apr 22 2020

40mins

Play

100. It Will Last Forever

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On this, our one-hundredth proper episode, Chalms guides us to profound questions: What were you doing in the Soviet Union between 1978 and 1984? Did you suffer for your crimes? Or is your suffering yet to come? Heh heh, atone, congregants. Atone!

Residing Congregant: Chalms
Invocation
Petitions on behalf of Worthy Congregants
Liturgical Reading: “It Will Last Forever”
The Boy, The Bell

We have merch to spread the Story to your closet and cabinet. Slurp from within, and sup upon: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

Apr 07 2020

30mins

Play

99. The Dreamt City

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The places you visit in your dreams are real! The people within will find you! They will yell at you! Ohhh what did you do? Because I tell you what: you DESERVE it.

Invocation
Medal Award Ceremony
Recipient: Woodrow the Dog
Liturgical Reading: “The Dreamt City”
The Return

Ohhh help us enduuure, allow us to prosper: patreon.com/tsmbt

Mar 24 2020

22mins

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98. The Wandering Narrator

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We’re boned, congregants! Yeah, we screwed the pooch bad, chomped a big fat one, sat on a REAL stinker. Even the Story knows turmoil, Narrator and Listener alike. Dang!

Invocation
Petitions on Behalf of Solemn Congregants
Liturgical Reading: “The Wandering Narrator”
The Return

Slop like a pig in the pen of our spiiiicy Patreon: patreon.com/tsmbt

Mar 10 2020

33mins

Play

97. The Replacement - Special Guest Clergy Ben Kissel

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Greeting cards bring joy and consolation to the grieving and joyous. Imagine a card that brings ruin. What would the card say? Do you believe the card, or deny the truth it has brought you? What will you do when you are replaced?

GUEST CLERGY: Ben Kissel (Last Podcast on the Left, Kinda Fun podcasts)

The CORY
Imploring of Recipes
Liturgical Reading: “The Replacement”
Concluding Prayer

We got hot merch, yeah you know about it: www.topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

Feb 25 2020

35mins

Play

96. Their Unholy Spirit - Special Guest Clergy Ben Kissel

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You know that feeling when you hug your aunt and she whispers in your ear, “I’m proud of the way you cut hair, Eugene”? Well, this one is also about feelings! Feelings deep down! Feelings with feelings. Feelings ready to CONSUME. Ruff ruff, snort snort, congregants.

GUEST CLERGY: Ben Kissel (Last Podcast on the Left, Kinda Fun podcasts)

Invocation
Petitions on Behalf of Righteous Congregants
MORE CORY
Liturgical Reading: “Their Unholy Spirit”
Concluding Prayer

Patreon us true, and sup gentle on our extra splashes: patreon.com/tsmbt

Feb 11 2020

41mins

Play

95. Little Brother — Special Guest Clergy Ben Kissel

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Brothers come in all sizes! In the Story, the biggest brother shall be the littlest, and vice versa yeah you get it. If there’s one truth for you in today’s Story, it is this: some kids are real chunks-a shit.

Invocation
Petitions on Behalf of Humble Congregants
CORY played by Guest Clergy Ben Kissel (Last Podcast on the Left, Kinda Fun podcasts)
Liturgical Reading: “Little Brother”
Concluding Prayer

Did you know we have an exclusive Discord channel just for congregants? Gain access at patreon.com/tsmbt

Jan 28 2020

40mins

Play

94. Dick Dvorak Bowls a Perfect Game

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Yeah drink a brew, pop a mozz’ stick, and bowl yourself a handsome strike, you goof! This Story is about bowling and probably NOTHING else. Nope! Stop askin questions!

Oh also?? Uh, yeah: we’re RICH.

Invocation
Petitions on Behalf of Wealthy Congregants
Liturgical Reading: “Dick Dvorak Bowls a Perfect Game”
Concluding Prayer

Join our wealthy, ohh just swimmin in smackers church at patreon.com/tsmbt

Jan 14 2020

34mins

Play

A False Year's Bonus

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Congregants gather and spit runny in your palms, because we got something you'll wanna grease up and hog down on. YEAH: a BONUS episode.

Contained in this thoughtful bonus:
Spider Bite
Shake My Hand
An Important Story About Marriage Featuring the Boy

Next Tuesday, for patrons we will have a 522 Club episode, and will return the following week with a brand new Story. PLUMP.

Dec 31 2019

18mins

Play

93. More More More Christmas Heresies

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False holiday alarm! Ring ring ralse! If this bell’s a-ringin’ then a Story is false. On this day, we arrive early, for no reason, only to give you extra time upon which to stew on these heresies true. STEW!

Invocation
Uncle Story
Liturgical Reading: “More More More Christmas Heresies”
Concluding Prayer

A patreon has come to you, healthy and honest! Join the 522 Club and hear a new “podcast” Patreon.com/tsmbt

Dec 23 2019

29mins

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92. Hot Pics Wedding Rings OK - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski

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Ohh send me a sexy pic, sexfriend. Heh heh, oh I’m a person alright, wink wink hush, a sexperson ready to sex, sex, sex! All I need is a lil ol thing called, um, your social security number ;)

Guest: Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski (Get tickets for the Page 7/Wizard and the Bruiser live shows at www.lastpodcastnetwork.com/p7live)

Patreon announcement
Invocation
Grease Fire!
Liturgical Reading: “Hot Pics Wedding Rings OK”
Concluding Prayer

Ooh gander upon the Story symbol pin! The Cro-Croa mug! They are now available at
www.topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

Dec 10 2019

42mins

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91. Maps Of The North

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A stranger is coming! When they confront you, will you endure or crumple? Heh heh, oh, congregant, the question was rhetorical! We all crumple before the stranger—when the stranger is the STORY.

Invocation
Psalm: “Four Showers”
Liturgical Reading: “Maps of the North”
Concluding Prayer

A Story symbol pin! A Cro-Croa mug! Coming oh so soon. Await it here:
https://topatoco.com/collections/last-podcast

Nov 26 2019

35mins

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Gosh and Golly

By HoboCop - Apr 08 2020
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Five Big Stars for The Story. Gee it’s swell. Turn it up and let the neighbors know.

TSMBT

By Ross0827 - Jan 29 2020
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the story... MUST... be told