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Parenting with a Story Podcast

Tell a young person what to do – play fair, be yourself, stick to the task at hand – and most will tune you out. But show them how choices and consequences play out in the real world, and the impact will be far more effective and long lasting. Based on interviews with over 100 people from around the world and from all walks of life as they reflect on their most profound and unexpected moments of clarity about who they are and how they should treat others. The lessons help teach 23 powerful character traits that will help your child grow into the adult you’ll be proud to call your own. Character Traits include: ambition, open-mindedness, creativity, curiosity & learning, courage, integrity, self-reliance, grit, hard work, self-confidence, money & delayed gratification, health, positive mental attitude, dealing with loss, kindness, patience, fairness & justice, humility, respect for others, friendship, social intelligence, forgiveness & gratitude, appreciation of beauty.

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An Angry Therapist’s Guide to a Meaningful Life

My guest this week is John Kim. He’s a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of the the pioneers of the online life coaching movement. Interestingly, he calls himself the “Angry Therapist.” It’s essentially an admission that, while he was a licensed therapist and life coach, he was no better off than the people he was helping — and admission that probably made him a more empathetic therapist.   More to the point of our conversation, John is the author of a new book called, I USED TO BE A MISERABLE F*CK: An Everyman’s Guide to a Meaningful Life which we dug right into.  John lays out 66 Dos and Don’ts in the book, some of which are listed below. The ones in bold we actually had time to talk about, and you can see exactly where in the conversation those came up.  John was a lot of fun to talk to. So, please click play above and give enjoy the dialogue. But, be warned, I will fully pronounce the title of his book several times. John’s 66 Do’s and Don’t include: Do be vulnerable  Don’t be a douche, don’t be a bully, and don’t whine Don’t choose passion over purpose (6:00) Do participate in self-care  Don’t get trapped in your bubble, don’t stay in your comfort zone, and don’t take yourself too seriously Do go on man dates, and also do some things on your own Do admit when you were wrong or when you don’t know the answer to something. Don’t pee in the shower (10:22) Don’t stop courting your partner Do create your own definition of success instead following the definitions of others. Do separate who you are from what you do Do make your bed  Don’t be afraid to fail Do try to understand before being understood (11:55) We also talked about: How to respond and not react (13:05) Going from Misery to Meaning (15:10), including how he got the name, the “Angry Therapist”.  You can find John at theangrytherapist.com.  Click these links to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, or Podbean. — Paul Smith is one of the world’s leading experts on business storytelling. He’s a keynote speaker, storytelling coach, and bestselling author. Connect with him via email here. Follow him on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. Sign up for his newsletter here to get one new story a week delivered to your inbox. The post An Angry Therapist’s Guide to a Meaningful Life appeared first on Paul Smith.

19mins

17 Oct 2019

Rank #1

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What to Know Before They Go (to College)

My guest today is Dr. Pamela Ellis. She conducts research into the areas of high school of college transition, parent engagement, African-American males in education, and college completion. As part of that, she’s visited more than four hundred colleges and universities internationally to understand their cultures and their academic and social opportunities available to students. That’s allowed her to help hundreds of young people successfully navigate the college-admissions process, as well as advise universities and school districts as well. And she’s also the author of the book, What to Know Before They Go: College Edition. In the podcast, we talked about: The college admissions scandal involving Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin. (1:30) Should kids pay for their own college tuition? (3:20) Who should think about taking a gap year? (7:25) Dr. Ellis’ top tips for getting ready for college (11:50) That last one includes ideas like: Develop independence and self-awareness and self-advocacy Start in middle school Learn how to make friends Spend time alone and be okay with it Less screen time Learn how to ask help from a teacher Let them participate in overnight programs when young 3-4 days Let them handle problems at school, they go to teacher, you don’t Student owns process for post high school Take an interest inventory Let them do the application Let them research colleges, not mom and dad Let them plan college visits Let them figure out what they like and want to do Give a listen to our conversation above. . . You can learn more about Dr. Ellis at https://compasscollegeadvisory.com/. Click these links to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, or Podbean. — Paul Smith is one of the world’s leading experts on business storytelling. He’s a keynote speaker, storytelling coach, and bestselling author. Connect with him via email here. Follow him on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. Sign up for his newsletter here to get one new story a week delivered to your inbox. The post What to Know Before They Go (to College) appeared first on Paul Smith.

25mins

18 Sep 2019

Rank #2

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Kids, Sex, and Screens: Upping Your Parenting Game

If you’re curious whether you should stalk your kids online (spoiler: you should, at least for a while), this is the woman to ask. My guest this week is Dr. Jillian Roberts. She’s a child psychologist, a professor, and the associate dean at the University of Victoria. And she’s also the author of the new book, Kids, Sex, and Screens: Raising Strong, Resilient Children in the Sexualized Digital Age. I asked Dr. Roberts to explain the problem she’s trying to solve with this book. She explained that when she first started practicing as a psychologist, the clients she had referred to her had trouble wetting the bed, or a failed math test, or a bully on the playground. But now the challenges she sees are much more acute: children being solicited online, being addicted to screens, and stumbling on sexual material before they’re ready. As a result, she’s devised what she calls a 7-Point Compass of solutions for parents to deal with today’s challenges. An outline of the compass is below. But please click play above and listen to our conversation as she explains each of them in more detail. Start talking early – before they get online. 5 or 6 years old Give unconditional love Don’t shame them when you find a child being curious Don’t react in anger Stay current – Be nimble and aware of online influences. Get a Snapchat account Teach them how to be a good digital citizen Follow them online, at least for a while, while they’re learning Set smart boundaries Self – be true to yourself and your values Family – are you violating family expectations? Community – what are your community’s standards? Online – are you sharing shallow minutia? Purpose of your sharing? Something helpful? Consensual? Advocating for a cause? Nurture relationships IRL, not just on-line. Lose stigma and prejudice around taboo topics Get rid of the awkwardness of talking about sexuality. Be very matter-of-fact. Build resilience See list of 40 top things in the book that parents can do to build their kid’s grit and resilience. You can find out more about Dr. Roberts and her work at drjillianroberts.com or familysparks.com. Click these links to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, or Podbean. — Paul Smith is one of the world’s leading experts on business storytelling. He’s a keynote speaker, storytelling coach, and bestselling author. Connect with him via email here. Follow him on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. Sign up for his newsletter here to get one new story a week delivered to your inbox. The post Kids, Sex, and Screens: Upping Your Parenting Game appeared first on Paul Smith.

36mins

27 Aug 2019

Rank #3