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Cover image of Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery

Every week, Danny M. Lavery brings on a guest to answer questions from listeners before diving into conversation about relationships, dissatisfaction, drives, regrets, estrangement, embarrassment, self-assessments, and feelings from the monumental to the minute.

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Forced Contraception

Prudence is joined this week by Alexis Coe, a historian and the New York Times bestselling author of You Never Forget Your First: A Biography of George Washington. She was a producer on Doris Kearns Goodwin's Washington series on the History Channel, and is also a producer on the film adaptation of her first book, Alice + Freda Forever: A Murder in Memphis. Prudie and Coe dig into letters about what to consider when your developmentally delayed daughter now shows interest in sex, should you let your girlfriend’s child know that their mom is a survivor of sexual abuse, what to do when your 35 year old best friend is having an inappropriate friendship with a 17 year old, how to be a support to your partner when you feel you have no bandwidth to be supportive.Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

52mins

16 Feb 2021

Rank #1

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Dear Prudence: The “Not Unconditional Love” Edition

Prudence is joined by hosts of the podcast By the Book: Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. First, how can I talk to my parents about feeling like I’m only acknowledged for academic achievements? Next, advice for an older sister unsure of how to help her brother who is demonstrating worrisome and creepy behavior. I’m keeping my baby, but friends don’t understand - what can I say? And lastly, I know instagram is all about putting your best self first, but I still want my own highlight reel and my partner doesn’t understand. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

54mins

6 Feb 2018

Rank #2

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Dear Prudence: The "Little Red Hen" Edition

A woman dropped family, friends, and job to move across the country for a relationship that didn’t work out — and things got worse from there. Is she doomed to make poor decisions for the rest of her life? A man dies, and his obituary lists a woman who barely remembers him as “the love of his life.” Should she try to find out what happened, or let him take his secret to the grave? A daughter mentioned long-term care insurance to her mom — and got an earful from her aunt about what a terrible person she is. Wait, what? Dear Prudence and Slate’s Dan Kois consider these questions and issue some reminders: we’re all gonna die someday, and being a couple of hours late to a grown man’s birthday party is only a crime in the movies. Hear back episodes of Prudence at Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

37mins

23 Aug 2016

Rank #3

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Dear Prudence: The "Calculated Incursion On My Workplace" Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Kayla Whaley, a writer living outside Atlanta with a focus on disability, sexuality, and the body. First, this letter writer has a great job but is feeling anxious about her close friend applying for any available job at the company. Next, this letter writer has been in a long term and long distance relationship where communication is difficult and they sometimes go weeks without talking - is it time to think about moving on? My close friend is experiencing terrible anxiety and texts me throughout the day, but I don’t know how much longer I can provide this kind of support, help! And lastly, a voicemail from a caller who is still feeling hurt from comments a stranger on the street made towards her in passing. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

59mins

24 Apr 2018

Rank #4

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Too Handsome Fiancé

Prudence is joined this week by Vanessa Zoltan, a non-denominational chaplain, who co-hosts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and its spin-off show Women of Harry Potter. She also has a new podcast, Hot and Bothered.Together they dig into letters about a mother who’s worried that her daughter’s fiancé is too good looking for her, how to handle in-laws who are dramatic in their requests to have you to cover up your leg with scars and missing toes, what to do when you’re too scared to tell your friend (who you have a crush on) that her son may have worms, how to handle a partner who likes to cook large meals, but is grossed out by leftovers.Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoltan discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her mom who voted for a politician that was instrumental in the loss of her job, and how to handle a friend who believes you ruined her wedding by sharing your cancer diagnosis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1hr

13 Aug 2019

Rank #5

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Dear Prudence: The "Time is Not an Apology" Edition

Prudence and guest Lisa McIntire on when you should rock the boat, why people feel entitled to be rude to their friends, and how time passing does not equal an apology. First though, you should go see Bad Moms… the audience, that is. More thoughts on HR and how capitalism is a hellscape, with apologies to the robber barons among our listeners.  Now to your questions: A parent is allowing their 18-year-old daughter to work out of the house as a phone sex operator, on the condition that she doesn’t talk to her younger siblings about the job — and doesn’t trust her to keep that promise. A woman’s friend keeps telling her that she’ll change her mind about marriage and kids — and setting the her up on dates she doesn’t want to go on. And finally: the case for plausible-deniability ashtrays. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

39mins

30 Aug 2016

Rank #6

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All Growl, No Bite

Prudence is joined this week by Mistress Justine Cross, a lifestyle dominatrix and BDSM consultant based in Los Angeles. She also owns and operates Dungeon East, a minimal, modern paradise, and Dungeon West, its atmospheric West LA counterpart. She is the boss of everyone except her cat. No one is the boss of cats.Prudie and Cross tackle letters about what to do when your friend’s husband threatens violence towards your dog, how to handle coworkers who trash-talk a colleague you’re secretly dating, how to continue your open marriage after losing your “wife approved” partner, what actions to take after discovering that your daughter intentionally jumped in front of a moving truck, should you leave your perfectly good roommate situation to live with your boyfriend, how to handle a family who constantly misgenders you. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1hr 9mins

24 Dec 2019

Rank #7

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Their Cheatin' Hearts

Prudence is joined this week by Alexandra Petri, a humor columnist for the Washington Post, author of A Field Guide To Awkward Silences, and also working assiduously on a new book!Prudie and Petri tackle letters about how to handle that you’re husband of 30 years may have given you an STI, what to do when you keep catching your mother having affairs, should you confront your friend who’s about to get married, yet still cheating on her fiance, how to be graceful when friends share news that you’re already familiar with, how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows.Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1hr 3mins

12 Nov 2019

Rank #8

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The Year In Prudie

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley, who occasionally feels like she has an alien in her throat. Prudie and Lavery go back and look at some of the many memorable letters of 2019 that were addressed with the help of Francesca Fiorentini, Justine D’Souza, Connor Goldsmith, Helen Rosner, Clementine Ford, Nichole Perkins, Bim Adewunmi, and Alexandra Petri.Prudie and company tackle letters about if you should tell your friend that her porn and weed addicted fiancé might not be “the one”, what to consider about hanging on your secret that you gave away your boyfriend’s dog, what to do when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex-boyfriend even though you will never be together again in reality, what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re laid out sick, and how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows.Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1hr 24mins

31 Dec 2019

Rank #9

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Some of Us Work

Prudence is joined this week by Jae Bearhat, a Seattle-based writer, zinester, and known Internet presence. Their work includes the Czap Books published comic Little Teeth, the Youtube critique series Film Critters, and over dozens of posts on Twitter under the name fussybabybitch.Prudie and Bearhat tackle letters about how to decide how much to financially support a stepdaughter that you see squandering the money she already receives, how to handle out of town friends who want to visit with their four kids and stay with you instead of a hotel, what to do when a visiting friend uncomfortably infiltrates your life, including flirting with your crush and using your vibrator, how to reason with your dad who refused to let you help your mom with her debilitating disease, how to decide if you should maintain a friendship (and secret crush) with someone who may have undiagnosed autism. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1hr 3mins

29 Oct 2019

Rank #10

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Dear Prudence: The “Unnecessary Shame” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Her first book, “Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics And The Idea Of Japan,” is forthcoming with Princeton University Press in 2019, and she is currently working on a book on the idea of technique. Together they take on letters about what to do when the new skirt you love elicits unwanted reactions from strangers and friends, how to handle the urge to make your mundane tasks at work more titillating, what to do when your pill popping husband  is no longer welcome at family events, how to handle a workplace crush when you also cherish and love your long term relationship, and finally, how to handle parents who show up empty handed to your toddler’s birthday.Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what actions she can take when her husband falsely signed documents for his colleague so that his colleague’s child can attend school in a different district. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

58mins

18 Sep 2018

Rank #11

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Morning Buns

Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Freeman, a Professor of English at the University of California, Davis, specializing in, among other things, Gender/Sexuality Studies. Prudie and Freeman dig into letters about what to do when you feel like your bisexuality alienates you from most relationships, how to know if it’s safe to come out to your historically homophobic, but now mellowed parents, what actions to take when you discover that your teenage son has been secretly filming his sexual encounters with his younger girlfriend, should you tell your neighbors that you’ve had a view of their bathroom for years, what to consider when you feel sad about your perfectly wonderful life, as it’s not the life you dreamed about. The episode concludes with a somewhat sticky story from Freeman that you won’t want to miss! Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

52mins

5 Nov 2019

Rank #12

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Mistress at Work

Prudence is joined this week by Dr. Ghazaleh Samandari, an integral development coach. Samandari has spent the last 15 years researching and advocating for women's health and rights around the world. Prudie and Samandari dig into letters about how to handle a friend who accepts a job that you’re against politically, what actions to take when social anxiety in school has you skipping lunch every day, what to do when the woman your husband cheated with now works in your office, how to make amends to your friend after insulting her “ugly” used chair.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

51mins

19 Nov 2019

Rank #13

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No Place For Love

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley. Prudie and Lavery tackle letters about how to decide if you should you let your best friend raise your troubled daughter, what to do when neither you nor your girlfriend have living situations where you both can hang out in, how to know if you are gender nonbinary, should you apologize to your fellow commuters after accidentally playing a particularly provocative part of the Dear Prudence podcast on your phone’s speaker, what to do when your nephew’s act of stealing an item of your clothing is driving a wedge through your whole family. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

52mins

14 Jan 2020

Rank #14

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Dear Prudence: The “Inspector Javert of Office Meatballs” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Aria Velasquez, an audience engagement editor at Slate. First up, I’m worried my discussion with my eight year old about me and my husband’s sexual orientation has greatly confused her, please help! Next...my family is struggling after an awful accident in which my father killed a neighbor’s dog and in which my kids blame themselves. I think I may have found “the one” but our interactions with another couple leave us both feeling outrageously jealous… (only for Slate Plus) Following that: my coworker is taking all the communal office food and I’d like to speak up without hurting their feelings, is this possible? And lastly, I’m giving a lot of financial support to one of my granddaughters after a terrible car accident in which she’ll need lifetime medical support, but some of my children and grandchildren are reacting with greed and not empathy and I’m at a loss for how to speak with them. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

51mins

1 May 2018

Rank #15

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Bisexual Dating Tips

Prudence is joined this week by Jordan Blok, a queer non-binary science communicator, research administrator, and hoop earring enthusiast based out of LA, and Prudie regular, Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley. Prudie, Blok, and Lavery dig into letters about what to do when new friends who are a couple may be coming on to you, what to consider with a boyfriend who seems to be homophobic stemming from a childhood sexual assault, what to do when you strike out dating women after having had no problem dating men, does an annulment mean your are divorced or you were never married, should you oblige your abusive ex-wife’s request to process your divorce in therapy 25 years after the fact. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

56mins

7 Jan 2020

Rank #16

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To Serve With Love

Prudence is joined this week by Peyton Thomas, a freelance journalist and video game writer based in Toronto. His writing has appeared in Vanity Fair, Billboard, and Pitchfork.Prudie and Thomas dig into letters about how to handle feeling not non-binary enough for your trans boyfriend, what to do when your friend in recovery comes to your bar and orders a drink, what actions to take if you feel your fiancé has befriended a con artist, what to do when your partner’s lack of direction feels like it’s holding your own future plans back, how to let a new friend know that just because you declined a last minute hiking invite, you still want to be friends.Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

51mins

3 Dec 2019

Rank #17

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Dear Prudence: The “Expensive Bulk Food-Grazer” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Paola Dayanan, a TV-obsessed HR professional from Northern Virginia. First, a letter writer struggles with work after two devastating losses and a manager who doesn’t seem supportive. Next, a concerned letter writer cannot contain their horror as they watch their friend grab handfuls of expensive bulk snacks while walking through the grocery store without paying - is a confrontation looming? Then, a friend group questioned this letter writer’s sexuality and very identity and they’re having trouble coming to terms with it and wondering if the friendship is salvageable. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

47mins

17 Apr 2018

Rank #18

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DNA Drama

Prudence is joined this week by Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent at Fuse Literary, specializing in sci-fi/fantasy fiction and a variety of nonfiction subjects.Together they tackle letters about what to consider when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what actions to take when you want to see a sister who’s living with parents who exiled you for being gay, how to know if you’re ready to open up a ten year relationship to polyamory, what to consider when your friend with ADHD never returns the support you’ve given him, what to consider before reaching out to a biological sibling you’ve never met.Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Goldsmith discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle accidentally buying a home one block away from a horrible ex, and how to handle a husband who is not at all gracious when your parents give him gifts. Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1hr 9mins

6 Aug 2019

Rank #19

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Dear Prudence: The "Affair To Remember" Edition

This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Soiled Dove Underground in Denver Colorado. Recorded on March 6th, 2019, Prudie was joined by writer Nicole Cliffe, who currently runs Slate’s Care and Feeding advice column, and was Daniel Ortberg’s former partner at The Toast.Together they dig into letters about what to do when you feel disconnected from your life that actually looks pretty good, how to handle a boyfriend who doesn’t want to commit to being called a “boyfriend”, what to do when your partner’s ex uses their dog as an excuse to stay connected, what actions to take when your husband can’t move past your infidelity from years ago, how to introduce your trans boyfriend to your not so accepting parents, how to deal with a husband who has turned to porn since you giving birth, how to handle your partner’s mom who keeps her distance because you’re “living in sin”.  Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Nicole discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to decide if she has a future dating a vaccine doubter, as well as questions from the live audience! Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1hr 10mins

26 Mar 2019

Rank #20