Cover image of Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life
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Rank #186 in Health & Fitness category

Society & Culture
Sexuality
Health & Fitness

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Updated 6 days ago

Rank #186 in Health & Fitness category

Society & Culture
Sexuality
Health & Fitness
Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

iTunes Ratings

772 Ratings
Average Ratings
558
73
42
40
59

Time to take a break.

By Cr39144 - May 26 2020
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There comes a time in advice columnists’ lives where they seem to hate everyone who writes/calls in to them. I’m not judging. I assume it’s the same bitterness you get when you’ve worked in any customer-facing job for too long. Recently the advice on Dear Prudence has gone from helpful to hurtful. Danny seems to have lost his ability to *assume positive intent* in the letters and has turned to lashing out at letter-writers. I miss the old Danny! Seems like it’s time for a long vacation.

thoughtful, caring advice

By Scubadoc16 - Mar 21 2020
Read more
I really enjoy this podcast

iTunes Ratings

772 Ratings
Average Ratings
558
73
42
40
59

Time to take a break.

By Cr39144 - May 26 2020
Read more
There comes a time in advice columnists’ lives where they seem to hate everyone who writes/calls in to them. I’m not judging. I assume it’s the same bitterness you get when you’ve worked in any customer-facing job for too long. Recently the advice on Dear Prudence has gone from helpful to hurtful. Danny seems to have lost his ability to *assume positive intent* in the letters and has turned to lashing out at letter-writers. I miss the old Danny! Seems like it’s time for a long vacation.

thoughtful, caring advice

By Scubadoc16 - Mar 21 2020
Read more
I really enjoy this podcast
Cover image of Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Latest release on Oct 20, 2020

The Best Episodes Ranked Using User Listens

Updated by OwlTail 6 days ago

Rank #1: Dear Prudence: The “Not Unconditional Love” Edition

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Prudence is joined by hosts of the podcast By the Book: Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. First, how can I talk to my parents about feeling like I’m only acknowledged for academic achievements? Next, advice for an older sister unsure of how to help her brother who is demonstrating worrisome and creepy behavior. I’m keeping my baby, but friends don’t understand - what can I say? And lastly, I know instagram is all about putting your best self first, but I still want my own highlight reel and my partner doesn’t understand. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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Feb 06 2018

54mins

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Rank #2: Dear Prudence: The "Calculated Incursion On My Workplace" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Kayla Whaley, a writer living outside Atlanta with a focus on disability, sexuality, and the body. First, this letter writer has a great job but is feeling anxious about her close friend applying for any available job at the company. Next, this letter writer has been in a long term and long distance relationship where communication is difficult and they sometimes go weeks without talking - is it time to think about moving on? My close friend is experiencing terrible anxiety and texts me throughout the day, but I don’t know how much longer I can provide this kind of support, help! And lastly, a voicemail from a caller who is still feeling hurt from comments a stranger on the street made towards her in passing. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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Apr 24 2018

59mins

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Rank #3: Too Handsome Fiancé

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Prudence is joined this week by Vanessa Zoltan, a non-denominational chaplain, who co-hosts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and its spin-off show Women of Harry Potter. She also has a new podcast, Hot and Bothered.

Together they dig into letters about a mother who’s worried that her daughter’s fiancé is too good looking for her, how to handle in-laws who are dramatic in their requests to have you to cover up your leg with scars and missing toes, what to do when you’re too scared to tell your friend (who you have a crush on) that her son may have worms, how to handle a partner who likes to cook large meals, but is grossed out by leftovers.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoltan discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her mom who voted for a politician that was instrumental in the loss of her job, and how to handle a friend who believes you ruined her wedding by sharing your cancer diagnosis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Aug 13 2019

1hr

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Rank #4: Dear Prudence: The “Unnecessary Shame” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Her first book, “Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics And The Idea Of Japan,” is forthcoming with Princeton University Press in 2019, and she is currently working on a book on the idea of technique. Together they take on letters about what to do when the new skirt you love elicits unwanted reactions from strangers and friends, how to handle the urge to make your mundane tasks at work more titillating, what to do when your pill popping husband  is no longer welcome at family events, how to handle a workplace crush when you also cherish and love your long term relationship, and finally, how to handle parents who show up empty handed to your toddler’s birthday.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what actions she can take when her husband falsely signed documents for his colleague so that his colleague’s child can attend school in a different district. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis

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Sep 18 2018

58mins

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Rank #5: The "Sisters!" Edition

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How do you tactfully let your sister know it’s time for deodorant? Or that you hate her dog? And how do you protect your sister from your overbearing parents? This week, Mallory Ortberg and guest Jasmine Guillory bring their advisory, legal, and child-of-therapists expertise to bear on the thorny questions of sisterhood, including a candid, live call with a listener (available only at Slate Plus!) Plus, Mallory reflects on being the Jack Johnson of road rage, responds to people who think it's just fine to give away your mom's dog, and spends a few minutes reveling in the newly-released footage of Jerry Lewis' long-lost Holocaust clown movie.

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Jun 28 2016

25mins

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Rank #6: Their Cheatin' Hearts

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Prudence is joined this week by Alexandra Petri, a humor columnist for the Washington Post, author of A Field Guide To Awkward Silences, and also working assiduously on a new book!

Prudie and Petri tackle letters about how to handle that you’re husband of 30 years may have given you an STI, what to do when you keep catching your mother having affairs, should you confront your friend who’s about to get married, yet still cheating on her fiance, how to be graceful when friends share news that you’re already familiar with, how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Nov 12 2019

1hr 3mins

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Rank #7: Dear Prudence: The “Inspector Javert of Office Meatballs” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Aria Velasquez, an audience engagement editor at Slate. First up, I’m worried my discussion with my eight year old about me and my husband’s sexual orientation has greatly confused her, please help! Next...my family is struggling after an awful accident in which my father killed a neighbor’s dog and in which my kids blame themselves. I think I may have found “the one” but our interactions with another couple leave us both feeling outrageously jealous… (only for Slate Plus) Following that: my coworker is taking all the communal office food and I’d like to speak up without hurting their feelings, is this possible? And lastly, I’m giving a lot of financial support to one of my granddaughters after a terrible car accident in which she’ll need lifetime medical support, but some of my children and grandchildren are reacting with greed and not empathy and I’m at a loss for how to speak with them. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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May 01 2018

51mins

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Rank #8: Some of Us Work

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Prudence is joined this week by Jae Bearhat, a Seattle-based writer, zinester, and known Internet presence. Their work includes the Czap Books published comic Little Teeth, the Youtube critique series Film Critters, and over dozens of posts on Twitter under the name fussybabybitch.

Prudie and Bearhat tackle letters about how to decide how much to financially support a stepdaughter that you see squandering the money she already receives, how to handle out of town friends who want to visit with their four kids and stay with you instead of a hotel, what to do when a visiting friend uncomfortably infiltrates your life, including flirting with your crush and using your vibrator, how to reason with your dad who refused to let you help your mom with her debilitating disease, how to decide if you should maintain a friendship (and secret crush) with someone who may have undiagnosed autism. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Oct 29 2019

1hr 3mins

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Rank #9: All Growl, No Bite

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Prudence is joined this week by Mistress Justine Cross, a lifestyle dominatrix and BDSM consultant based in Los Angeles. She also owns and operates Dungeon East, a minimal, modern paradise, and Dungeon West, its atmospheric West LA counterpart. She is the boss of everyone except her cat. No one is the boss of cats.

Prudie and Cross tackle letters about what to do when your friend’s husband threatens violence towards your dog, how to handle coworkers who trash-talk a colleague you’re secretly dating, how to continue your open marriage after losing your “wife approved” partner, what actions to take after discovering that your daughter intentionally jumped in front of a moving truck, should you leave your perfectly good roommate situation to live with your boyfriend, how to handle a family who constantly misgenders you. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Dec 24 2019

1hr 9mins

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Rank #10: The Year In Prudie

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Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley, who occasionally feels like she has an alien in her throat. 

Prudie and Lavery go back and look at some of the many memorable letters of 2019 that were addressed with the help of Francesca Fiorentini, Justine D’Souza, Connor Goldsmith, Helen Rosner, Clementine Ford, Nichole Perkins, Bim Adewunmi, and Alexandra Petri.

Prudie and company tackle letters about if you should tell your friend that her porn and weed addicted fiancé might not be “the one”, what to consider about hanging on your secret that you gave away your boyfriend’s dog, what to do when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex-boyfriend even though you will never be together again in reality, what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re laid out sick, and how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dec 31 2019

1hr 24mins

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Rank #11: Dear Prudence: The “Expensive Bulk Food-Grazer” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Paola Dayanan, a TV-obsessed HR professional from Northern Virginia. First, a letter writer struggles with work after two devastating losses and a manager who doesn’t seem supportive. Next, a concerned letter writer cannot contain their horror as they watch their friend grab handfuls of expensive bulk snacks while walking through the grocery store without paying - is a confrontation looming? Then, a friend group questioned this letter writer’s sexuality and very identity and they’re having trouble coming to terms with it and wondering if the friendship is salvageable. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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Apr 17 2018

47mins

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Rank #12: Morning Buns

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Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Freeman, a Professor of English at the University of California, Davis, specializing in, among other things, Gender/Sexuality Studies. 

Prudie and Freeman dig into letters about what to do when you feel like your bisexuality alienates you from most relationships, how to know if it’s safe to come out to your historically homophobic, but now mellowed parents, what actions to take when you discover that your teenage son has been secretly filming his sexual encounters with his younger girlfriend, should you tell your neighbors that you’ve had a view of their bathroom for years, what to consider when you feel sad about your perfectly wonderful life, as it’s not the life you dreamed about. The episode concludes with a somewhat sticky story from Freeman that you won’t want to miss! 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nov 05 2019

52mins

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Rank #13: Mistress at Work

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Prudence is joined this week by Dr. Ghazaleh Samandari, an integral development coach. Samandari has spent the last 15 years researching and advocating for women's health and rights around the world. 

Prudie and Samandari dig into letters about how to handle a friend who accepts a job that you’re against politically, what actions to take when social anxiety in school has you skipping lunch every day, what to do when the woman your husband cheated with now works in your office, how to make amends to your friend after insulting her “ugly” used chair.  

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nov 19 2019

51mins

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Rank #14: DNA Drama

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Prudence is joined this week by Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent at Fuse Literary, specializing in sci-fi/fantasy fiction and a variety of nonfiction subjects.

Together they tackle letters about what to consider when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what actions to take when you want to see a sister who’s living with parents who exiled you for being gay, how to know if you’re ready to open up a ten year relationship to polyamory, what to consider when your friend with ADHD never returns the support you’ve given him, what to consider before reaching out to a biological sibling you’ve never met.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Goldsmith discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle accidentally buying a home one block away from a horrible ex, and how to handle a husband who is not at all gracious when your parents give him gifts. Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Aug 06 2019

1hr 9mins

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Rank #15: Dear Prudence: The "Affair To Remember" Edition

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This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Soiled Dove Underground in Denver Colorado. Recorded on March 6th, 2019, Prudie was joined by writer Nicole Cliffe, who currently runs Slate’s Care and Feeding advice column, and was Daniel Ortberg’s former partner at The Toast.

Together they dig into letters about what to do when you feel disconnected from your life that actually looks pretty good, how to handle a boyfriend who doesn’t want to commit to being called a “boyfriend”, what to do when your partner’s ex uses their dog as an excuse to stay connected, what actions to take when your husband can’t move past your infidelity from years ago, how to introduce your trans boyfriend to your not so accepting parents, how to deal with a husband who has turned to porn since you giving birth, how to handle your partner’s mom who keeps her distance because you’re “living in sin”. 

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Nicole discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to decide if she has a future dating a vaccine doubter, as well as questions from the live audience! Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Mar 26 2019

1hr 10mins

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Rank #16: Dear Prudence: The "Regret Baby" Edition

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Dear Prudence and Slate’s Christina Cauterucci take on behavior that goes from bad to worse: a “toxic friend” who uses her mental health issues to get away with abusing her friends; a man trying to shame his wife into having a “regret baby” seven years after they both agreed to an abortion; and a father who wants to tell his preteen sons how much he doesn’t love their mother. Plus, Prudie advises a woman wondering if she can move into her own place even though she’s happily married, encourages a listener to go for it with an eager ex, and meditates on weak endings and the deadening managerial mantra, “If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.”

Full episodes of the Dear Prudence podcast are available exclusively to Slate Plus members. Listen to old episodes at Slate.com/Prudiepod

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Jul 12 2016

35mins

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Rank #17: Dear Prudence: The "Addiction Fatigue" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by San Francisco writer Laura Turner, who also happens to be Prudie’s older sister.

Together, they tackle letters about what actions to take when you’re friends with a married couple who abuse each other, what to do when your boss schedules the holiday party on your religious day of rest, should you have another baby even though the fate of your marriage is uncertain, how to handle a father who posts his erotic artwork in social media along with the family photos, how to break it to your husband that you’ve been hiding that you’re no longer a vegetarian, what to do when you’re exhausted from supporting your friend through her addictions.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Laura discuss a letter writer who is wondering if she can not invite a racist aunt to her wedding and not offend the rest of her family. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Dec 11 2018

1hr 7mins

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Rank #18: In-Laws 2.0

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Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the San Francisco Chronicle’s restaurant critic. She’s written for food and pop culture publications like Bitch, Food & Wine, Taste, and Wine Enthusiast and hosted podcasts like Popaganda and Racist Sandwich.

Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle anger towards your in-laws, even though they’ve moved past their initial homophobia, how to disclose your disability when entering the dating game, what to do when your boyfriend gets upset that you didn’t immediately disclose that you’re an adoptee, how to handle transphobic co-workers after finally accepting that you’re a trans woman, what to do with a mom who believes your high school girlfriend made you gay.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sep 10 2019

1hr

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Rank #19: No Place For Love

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Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley. 

Prudie and Lavery tackle letters about how to decide if you should you let your best friend raise your troubled daughter, what to do when neither you nor your girlfriend have living situations where you both can hang out in, how to know if you are gender nonbinary, should you apologize to your fellow commuters after accidentally playing a particularly provocative part of the Dear Prudence podcast on your phone’s speaker, what to do when your nephew’s act of stealing an item of your clothing is driving a wedge through your whole family. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jan 14 2020

52mins

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Rank #20: Dear Prudence: The "Sell The Damn Ring" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by writer and film critic Willow Maclay. Maclay runs the website Curtsies and Hand Grenades, and is co-author of the upcoming book Corpses, Fools and Monsters: An Examination of Transgender Cinema

Together they tackle letters about how to get along with the normal but sometimes annoying family that took you in, what to do when you can no longer afford the travel expenses in your long distance relationship, how to handle an cheating ex-fiance you still have feelings for, how to handle your family’s demands for holiday time when they don’t align with your partner’s family, what actions to take when your wife of 25 years suddenly blames you for the life she didn’t have. Also, Prudie reads a letter from a white woman who is wondering if it’s wrong that she feels more connected to black children than children of other races.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Willow discuss a letter writer who wants to be single, but is afraid of loneliness, and another letter writer who is wondering if she should help her alcoholic mom who abandoned her. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis

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Jan 22 2019

54mins

Play