Cover image of Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life
(772)

Rank #174 in Health & Fitness category

Society & Culture
Sexuality
Health & Fitness

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Updated about 1 month ago

Rank #174 in Health & Fitness category

Society & Culture
Sexuality
Health & Fitness
Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

iTunes Ratings

772 Ratings
Average Ratings
558
73
42
40
59

Time to take a break.

By Cr39144 - May 26 2020
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There comes a time in advice columnists’ lives where they seem to hate everyone who writes/calls in to them. I’m not judging. I assume it’s the same bitterness you get when you’ve worked in any customer-facing job for too long. Recently the advice on Dear Prudence has gone from helpful to hurtful. Danny seems to have lost his ability to *assume positive intent* in the letters and has turned to lashing out at letter-writers. I miss the old Danny! Seems like it’s time for a long vacation.

thoughtful, caring advice

By Scubadoc16 - Mar 21 2020
Read more
I really enjoy this podcast

iTunes Ratings

772 Ratings
Average Ratings
558
73
42
40
59

Time to take a break.

By Cr39144 - May 26 2020
Read more
There comes a time in advice columnists’ lives where they seem to hate everyone who writes/calls in to them. I’m not judging. I assume it’s the same bitterness you get when you’ve worked in any customer-facing job for too long. Recently the advice on Dear Prudence has gone from helpful to hurtful. Danny seems to have lost his ability to *assume positive intent* in the letters and has turned to lashing out at letter-writers. I miss the old Danny! Seems like it’s time for a long vacation.

thoughtful, caring advice

By Scubadoc16 - Mar 21 2020
Read more
I really enjoy this podcast
Cover image of Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Latest release on Jul 07, 2020

Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

Rank #1: Dear Prudence: The “Not Unconditional Love” Edition

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Prudence is joined by hosts of the podcast By the Book: Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. First, how can I talk to my parents about feeling like I’m only acknowledged for academic achievements? Next, advice for an older sister unsure of how to help her brother who is demonstrating worrisome and creepy behavior. I’m keeping my baby, but friends don’t understand - what can I say? And lastly, I know instagram is all about putting your best self first, but I still want my own highlight reel and my partner doesn’t understand. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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Feb 06 2018

54mins

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Rank #2: Dear Prudence: The "Calculated Incursion On My Workplace" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Kayla Whaley, a writer living outside Atlanta with a focus on disability, sexuality, and the body. First, this letter writer has a great job but is feeling anxious about her close friend applying for any available job at the company. Next, this letter writer has been in a long term and long distance relationship where communication is difficult and they sometimes go weeks without talking - is it time to think about moving on? My close friend is experiencing terrible anxiety and texts me throughout the day, but I don’t know how much longer I can provide this kind of support, help! And lastly, a voicemail from a caller who is still feeling hurt from comments a stranger on the street made towards her in passing. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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Apr 24 2018

58mins

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Rank #3: Too Handsome Fiancé

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Prudence is joined this week by Vanessa Zoltan, a non-denominational chaplain, who co-hosts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and its spin-off show Women of Harry Potter. She also has a new podcast, Hot and Bothered.

Together they dig into letters about a mother who’s worried that her daughter’s fiancé is too good looking for her, how to handle in-laws who are dramatic in their requests to have you to cover up your leg with scars and missing toes, what to do when you’re too scared to tell your friend (who you have a crush on) that her son may have worms, how to handle a partner who likes to cook large meals, but is grossed out by leftovers.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoltan discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her mom who voted for a politician that was instrumental in the loss of her job, and how to handle a friend who believes you ruined her wedding by sharing your cancer diagnosis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Aug 13 2019

1hr

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Rank #4: Dear Prudence: The “Unnecessary Shame” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Her first book, “Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics And The Idea Of Japan,” is forthcoming with Princeton University Press in 2019, and she is currently working on a book on the idea of technique. Together they take on letters about what to do when the new skirt you love elicits unwanted reactions from strangers and friends, how to handle the urge to make your mundane tasks at work more titillating, what to do when your pill popping husband  is no longer welcome at family events, how to handle a workplace crush when you also cherish and love your long term relationship, and finally, how to handle parents who show up empty handed to your toddler’s birthday.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what actions she can take when her husband falsely signed documents for his colleague so that his colleague’s child can attend school in a different district. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis

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Sep 18 2018

57mins

Play

Rank #5: Loose Cannon Lover

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Prudence is joined this week by Monika Tomsinski, an indoorsy introvert who loves novels, pop culture, historic places, and chocolate. She lives in Seattle with her spouse and small dog.

Prudie and Tomsinski tackle letters about what to do when your ex insists on a busy child custody schedule during a global pandemic, how to handle anger towards a boyfriend who didn’t social distance and contracted COVID-19, what to do about noisy neighbors that you can’t talk to in person due to quarantine, what actions to take when you are often misgendered, but don’t want to change the way you dress, how to protect your girlfriend from her abusive sister.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Apr 21 2020

47mins

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Rank #6: The "Sisters!" Edition

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How do you tactfully let your sister know it’s time for deodorant? Or that you hate her dog? And how do you protect your sister from your overbearing parents? This week, Mallory Ortberg and guest Jasmine Guillory bring their advisory, legal, and child-of-therapists expertise to bear on the thorny questions of sisterhood, including a candid, live call with a listener (available only at Slate Plus!) Plus, Mallory reflects on being the Jack Johnson of road rage, responds to people who think it's just fine to give away your mom's dog, and spends a few minutes reveling in the newly-released footage of Jerry Lewis' long-lost Holocaust clown movie.

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Jun 28 2016

25mins

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Rank #7: Their Cheatin' Hearts

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Prudence is joined this week by Alexandra Petri, a humor columnist for the Washington Post, author of A Field Guide To Awkward Silences, and also working assiduously on a new book!

Prudie and Petri tackle letters about how to handle that you’re husband of 30 years may have given you an STI, what to do when you keep catching your mother having affairs, should you confront your friend who’s about to get married, yet still cheating on her fiance, how to be graceful when friends share news that you’re already familiar with, how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Nov 12 2019

1hr 2mins

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Rank #8: Dear Prudence: The “Inspector Javert of Office Meatballs” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Aria Velasquez, an audience engagement editor at Slate. First up, I’m worried my discussion with my eight year old about me and my husband’s sexual orientation has greatly confused her, please help! Next...my family is struggling after an awful accident in which my father killed a neighbor’s dog and in which my kids blame themselves. I think I may have found “the one” but our interactions with another couple leave us both feeling outrageously jealous… (only for Slate Plus) Following that: my coworker is taking all the communal office food and I’d like to speak up without hurting their feelings, is this possible? And lastly, I’m giving a lot of financial support to one of my granddaughters after a terrible car accident in which she’ll need lifetime medical support, but some of my children and grandchildren are reacting with greed and not empathy and I’m at a loss for how to speak with them. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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May 01 2018

50mins

Play

Rank #9: Some of Us Work

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Prudence is joined this week by Jae Bearhat, a Seattle-based writer, zinester, and known Internet presence. Their work includes the Czap Books published comic Little Teeth, the Youtube critique series Film Critters, and over dozens of posts on Twitter under the name fussybabybitch.

Prudie and Bearhat tackle letters about how to decide how much to financially support a stepdaughter that you see squandering the money she already receives, how to handle out of town friends who want to visit with their four kids and stay with you instead of a hotel, what to do when a visiting friend uncomfortably infiltrates your life, including flirting with your crush and using your vibrator, how to reason with your dad who refused to let you help your mom with her debilitating disease, how to decide if you should maintain a friendship (and secret crush) with someone who may have undiagnosed autism. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Oct 29 2019

1hr 2mins

Play

Rank #10: All Growl, No Bite

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Prudence is joined this week by Mistress Justine Cross, a lifestyle dominatrix and BDSM consultant based in Los Angeles. She also owns and operates Dungeon East, a minimal, modern paradise, and Dungeon West, its atmospheric West LA counterpart. She is the boss of everyone except her cat. No one is the boss of cats.

Prudie and Cross tackle letters about what to do when your friend’s husband threatens violence towards your dog, how to handle coworkers who trash-talk a colleague you’re secretly dating, how to continue your open marriage after losing your “wife approved” partner, what actions to take after discovering that your daughter intentionally jumped in front of a moving truck, should you leave your perfectly good roommate situation to live with your boyfriend, how to handle a family who constantly misgenders you. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Dec 24 2019

1hr 8mins

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Rank #11: The Year In Prudie

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Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley, who occasionally feels like she has an alien in her throat. 

Prudie and Lavery go back and look at some of the many memorable letters of 2019 that were addressed with the help of Francesca Fiorentini, Justine D’Souza, Connor Goldsmith, Helen Rosner, Clementine Ford, Nichole Perkins, Bim Adewunmi, and Alexandra Petri.

Prudie and company tackle letters about if you should tell your friend that her porn and weed addicted fiancé might not be “the one”, what to consider about hanging on your secret that you gave away your boyfriend’s dog, what to do when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex-boyfriend even though you will never be together again in reality, what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re laid out sick, and how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Dec 31 2019

1hr 24mins

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Rank #12: Dear Prudence: The “Expensive Bulk Food-Grazer” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Paola Dayanan, a TV-obsessed HR professional from Northern Virginia. First, a letter writer struggles with work after two devastating losses and a manager who doesn’t seem supportive. Next, a concerned letter writer cannot contain their horror as they watch their friend grab handfuls of expensive bulk snacks while walking through the grocery store without paying - is a confrontation looming? Then, a friend group questioned this letter writer’s sexuality and very identity and they’re having trouble coming to terms with it and wondering if the friendship is salvageable. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs

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Apr 17 2018

47mins

Play

Rank #13: Morning Buns

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Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Freeman, a Professor of English at the University of California, Davis, specializing in, among other things, Gender/Sexuality Studies. 

Prudie and Freeman dig into letters about what to do when you feel like your bisexuality alienates you from most relationships, how to know if it’s safe to come out to your historically homophobic, but now mellowed parents, what actions to take when you discover that your teenage son has been secretly filming his sexual encounters with his younger girlfriend, should you tell your neighbors that you’ve had a view of their bathroom for years, what to consider when you feel sad about your perfectly wonderful life, as it’s not the life you dreamed about. The episode concludes with a somewhat sticky story from Freeman that you won’t want to miss! 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Nov 05 2019

52mins

Play

Rank #14: Mistress at Work

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Prudence is joined this week by Dr. Ghazaleh Samandari, an integral development coach. Samandari has spent the last 15 years researching and advocating for women's health and rights around the world. 

Prudie and Samandari dig into letters about how to handle a friend who accepts a job that you’re against politically, what actions to take when social anxiety in school has you skipping lunch every day, what to do when the woman your husband cheated with now works in your office, how to make amends to your friend after insulting her “ugly” used chair.  

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Nov 19 2019

51mins

Play

Rank #15: DNA Drama

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Prudence is joined this week by Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent at Fuse Literary, specializing in sci-fi/fantasy fiction and a variety of nonfiction subjects.

Together they tackle letters about what to consider when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what actions to take when you want to see a sister who’s living with parents who exiled you for being gay, how to know if you’re ready to open up a ten year relationship to polyamory, what to consider when your friend with ADHD never returns the support you’ve given him, what to consider before reaching out to a biological sibling you’ve never met.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Goldsmith discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle accidentally buying a home one block away from a horrible ex, and how to handle a husband who is not at all gracious when your parents give him gifts. Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Aug 06 2019

1hr 9mins

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Rank #16: Dear Prudence: The "Affair To Remember" Edition

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This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Soiled Dove Underground in Denver Colorado. Recorded on March 6th, 2019, Prudie was joined by writer Nicole Cliffe, who currently runs Slate’s Care and Feeding advice column, and was Daniel Ortberg’s former partner at The Toast.

Together they dig into letters about what to do when you feel disconnected from your life that actually looks pretty good, how to handle a boyfriend who doesn’t want to commit to being called a “boyfriend”, what to do when your partner’s ex uses their dog as an excuse to stay connected, what actions to take when your husband can’t move past your infidelity from years ago, how to introduce your trans boyfriend to your not so accepting parents, how to deal with a husband who has turned to porn since you giving birth, how to handle your partner’s mom who keeps her distance because you’re “living in sin”. 

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Nicole discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to decide if she has a future dating a vaccine doubter, as well as questions from the live audience! Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Mar 26 2019

1hr 9mins

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Rank #17: Dear Prudence: The "Regret Baby" Edition

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Dear Prudence and Slate’s Christina Cauterucci take on behavior that goes from bad to worse: a “toxic friend” who uses her mental health issues to get away with abusing her friends; a man trying to shame his wife into having a “regret baby” seven years after they both agreed to an abortion; and a father who wants to tell his preteen sons how much he doesn’t love their mother. Plus, Prudie advises a woman wondering if she can move into her own place even though she’s happily married, encourages a listener to go for it with an eager ex, and meditates on weak endings and the deadening managerial mantra, “If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.”

Full episodes of the Dear Prudence podcast are available exclusively to Slate Plus members. Listen to old episodes at Slate.com/Prudiepod

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Jul 12 2016

35mins

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Rank #18: Chicken In The Middle

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Prudence is joined this week by Toni Golan-Vilella, who helps nonprofits get what they need out of software, and Lizzy Marmon, who secures grants and donor relationships for cultural institutions. Together, they live in Brooklyn.

Prudie, Golan-Vilella and Marmon dig into letters about what to do when you don’t align with your husband’s right wing values, how to handle a husband who got angry at you for mentioning that you miss the chicken from a politically incorrect restaurant, what actions to take when your open office space isn’t conducive to getting work done, what to consider when folks in your large friends group get upset when you initiate smaller outings that don’t include everyone, what to do when your work subordinate that you’re friendly with and who idolizes you does a terrible job.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Apr 14 2020

59mins

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Rank #19: Dear Prudence: The "Addiction Fatigue" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by San Francisco writer Laura Turner, who also happens to be Prudie’s older sister.

Together, they tackle letters about what actions to take when you’re friends with a married couple who abuse each other, what to do when your boss schedules the holiday party on your religious day of rest, should you have another baby even though the fate of your marriage is uncertain, how to handle a father who posts his erotic artwork in social media along with the family photos, how to break it to your husband that you’ve been hiding that you’re no longer a vegetarian, what to do when you’re exhausted from supporting your friend through her addictions.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Laura discuss a letter writer who is wondering if she can not invite a racist aunt to her wedding and not offend the rest of her family. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Dec 11 2018

1hr 7mins

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Rank #20: In-Laws 2.0

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Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the San Francisco Chronicle’s restaurant critic. She’s written for food and pop culture publications like Bitch, Food & Wine, Taste, and Wine Enthusiast and hosted podcasts like Popaganda and Racist Sandwich.

Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle anger towards your in-laws, even though they’ve moved past their initial homophobia, how to disclose your disability when entering the dating game, what to do when your boyfriend gets upset that you didn’t immediately disclose that you’re an adoptee, how to handle transphobic co-workers after finally accepting that you’re a trans woman, what to do with a mom who believes your high school girlfriend made you gay.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com

Production by Phil Surkis

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Sep 10 2019

1hr

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Don't Get Me Wrong

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Prudence is joined this week by Krystal Farmer, who works in book publishing and lives in Oakland.

Prudie and Farmer tackle letters about if you should move from your lover’s house because you don’t see a future together even though all is fine at the moment, what to do when the biological father of your baby, a fling with a much younger man, wants to be part of your child’s life, what to consider when you’ve been gifted second hand clothes that the original owner now wants back, how to handle discovering a racist conversation your girlfriend had on Facebook years ago.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Jul 07 2020

51mins

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Racist Lawn Statue

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Prudence is joined this week by Rachel Fershleiser, who works in book publishing, is the co-creator of the Six-Word Memoir project, and once made a zine about soup.

Prudie and Fershleiser dig into letters about what to consider when you discover that your mom secretly lives in a nudist colony, should you tell your pregnant girlfriend that it’s medically impossible that it’s your baby and you know she cheated on you, how to tell your friend that you think she may have dementia, what to do about a neighbor who keeps a racist statute on their front lawn, what to do when your ex-cop boyfriend sides with the police after watching an indefensible video of police violence, what to consider about starting a family with a wife who you think does not eat healthy. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon.

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Jun 30 2020

41mins

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Zoom Faux Pas

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Prudence is joined this week by Milisa Burke, a Brooklyn based tech worker, and part of the program committee for New York’s Asian American International Film Festival. 

Prudie and Burke tackle letters about what to do when you accidentally screen share erotic fan fiction during a zoom business meeting, how to tell your friend to stop pretending to be Black in an online group about Black women’s hair, should you try to lose weight even though you think it’ll make your spouse feel bad, should you send a birthday card to your estranged mom, what to consider with an abusive, drinking husband who occasionally tries to get help.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon.


Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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Jun 23 2020

49mins

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Really. Let It Go!

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Prudence is joined this week by Christina Tucker, a contributing writer for Autostraddle, and a rotating fourth chair on NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour. 

Prudie and Tucker dig into letters about how to deal with a friend’s request for money to hire an expensive divorce lawyer, what to do when your husband’s quarantine beard is turns you off, how to avoid taking off your shoes in friend’s homes without explaining your medical condition that requires you wear them, how to shut down your mother’s plans to throw you a Disney-themed wedding, what you can do to support your best friends who are moving away. Plus, Prudie and Tucker respond to a voicemail from a listener whose aunt won’t stop sending her articles about The Holocaust. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon.


Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Jun 16 2020

47mins

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Quarantine Kitchen

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Prudence is joined this week by Peter Labuza, an incoming Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Southern California, where he just defended his dissertation “When A Handshake Meant Something: Lawyers, Deal Making, and the Emergence of New Hollywood.” 

Prudie and Labuza tackle letters about how to take a week “off the grid” from your family that likes to talk often, should you allow your nephew to use his education trust fund to support his soon to arrive baby, what to do when you find out that your friend makes military weapons for a living, should you to offer to make weekly meals for your colleague and his family who are isolating, how to handle a mom who keeps mentioning your recently deceased dog, how to allocate kitchen time in a four-roommate household during quarantine. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon.

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 09 2020

48mins

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A Proper Burial

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Prudence is joined this week by Nastia Voynovskaya, a Russian-born, Oakland-based journalist and one of the arts and culture editors at KQED, San Francisco's NPR station. She covers the intersections of the arts, activism, labor, pop culture, the Bay Area and more. 

Prudie and Voynovskaya dig into letters about how to plan for your mothers funeral during a pandemic, what to consider when your wife seems less and less interested in sex, should you marry someone who doesn’t match your high sex drive, what to do when your wife insists that you sleep on the couch after hearing your work phone ring in the middle of the night, what to consider when your husband doesn’t get along with one of the family dogs. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon.

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 02 2020

51mins

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Jerk at Work Husband

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Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Jones, a Tony- and Obie Award-winning performer and writer known for her multi-character, one-person shows, including her current, critically acclaimed show Sell/Buy/Date.

Prudie and Jones tackle letters about how to find peace while your family argues about your stepson's wedding, what to do when you are in quarantine away from your boyfriend and his roommates flirt with him, what to consider when your brother-in-law starts dating someone who looks like you, should you reach out to long-lost friends during quarantine, what to consider when it seems like your boyfriend will never propose, and how to handle discovering that your husband is a real jerk to his work colleagues. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon.


Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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May 26 2020

50mins

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Back Room Hookup

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Prudence is joined this week by Jasmine Sanders, a writer from the south side of Chicago.

Prudie and Sanders dig into letters about what to do when neighbors treat your private yard like a public park, what to consider when your husband insists that both of you live with his mom indefinitely, how to handle the constant practicing from your concert pianist roommate, how to tell your parents that you write erotica for a living, is there a polite way to ask your potential partners about their mental health, what actions to take when the manager of your co-working space uses it as a place to have sex.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 


Production by Phil Surkis

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May 19 2020

47mins

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A Nonprofit Liar

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Prudence is joined this week by Jack Doyle, an LGBTQ healthcare advocate, historian, and journalist originally hailing from New England.

Prudie and Doyle tackle letters about what do you when your ex lies to everyone about why you left him, should you report a childhood friend who’s now lying about her upbringing to solicit donations, what to know when you increase your time flirting on chat sites during quarantine, how to handle a boyfriend who insists that you both go to bed at the same time, what to consider about the anxiety you feel during hormone replacement therapy.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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May 12 2020

54mins

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Say MY Name!

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Prudence is joined this week by Cecilia Corrigan, a Brooklyn based award-winning writer and performer. Corrigan’s poetry collection, Titanic, was released in 2014. Since then, she has released the short film Crush and web series Le Balm

Prudie and Corrigan tackle letters about what to when your husband calls out his deceased wife’s name during sex, what actions to take when you hear domestic violence next door, but you don’t trust the police to handle it, should you try to get your favorite skillet back form a friend during a global pandemic, what to say to a friend who chided you for not social distancing enough, what to know when your sister asks that you return a dog that you’ve taken care of for 3 years, what to consider when your roommates are being antisocial while in quarantine together. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

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May 05 2020

55mins

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Oh, Now I’m Essential?

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Prudence is joined this week by Justine D’Souza, who creates help content for a not-for-profit organization focused on international education and global mobility. She also counsels youth, young adults, and caregivers for a crisis helpline. 

Prudie and D’Souza dig into letters about what to do with a mother who only became proud of your grocery store job in light of the pandemic, what to know about a fiance with an annual ritual of honoring his former fiance who was murdered, should you demand that your son’s girlfriend, who moved into your home, go on birth control, how to handle a partner who, even though you’re expecting a baby, doesn’t watch his finances, what to do when your husband doesn’t stand up to his dad for making “creepy old man” comments to you in social media. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Apr 28 2020

48mins

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Loose Cannon Lover

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Prudence is joined this week by Monika Tomsinski, an indoorsy introvert who loves novels, pop culture, historic places, and chocolate. She lives in Seattle with her spouse and small dog.

Prudie and Tomsinski tackle letters about what to do when your ex insists on a busy child custody schedule during a global pandemic, how to handle anger towards a boyfriend who didn’t social distance and contracted COVID-19, what to do about noisy neighbors that you can’t talk to in person due to quarantine, what actions to take when you are often misgendered, but don’t want to change the way you dress, how to protect your girlfriend from her abusive sister.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Apr 21 2020

47mins

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Chicken In The Middle

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Prudence is joined this week by Toni Golan-Vilella, who helps nonprofits get what they need out of software, and Lizzy Marmon, who secures grants and donor relationships for cultural institutions. Together, they live in Brooklyn.

Prudie, Golan-Vilella and Marmon dig into letters about what to do when you don’t align with your husband’s right wing values, how to handle a husband who got angry at you for mentioning that you miss the chicken from a politically incorrect restaurant, what actions to take when your open office space isn’t conducive to getting work done, what to consider when folks in your large friends group get upset when you initiate smaller outings that don’t include everyone, what to do when your work subordinate that you’re friendly with and who idolizes you does a terrible job.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Apr 14 2020

59mins

Play

Too Late To Apologize?

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Prudence is joined this week by Matt Lubchansky, the associate editor of The Nib, and a cartoonist and illustrator living in Queens.

Prudie and Lubchansky tackle letters about what to do with a partner who’s dishwashing leaves a lot to be desired, how to apologize to an officemate that you used to viciously bully in high school, what to know about a husband who is obnoxiously rude to wait staff, what actions to take when you discover your parents opened a credit card in your name, how to relate to a partner who’s wealthy upbringing makes you uncomfortable.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Join us online for Dear Prudence Live on April 8th at 7:00 pm EDT! Visit slate.com/live for the link!

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Apr 07 2020

51mins

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Toxic Friend Awareness

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Prudence is joined this week by Alyssa Furukawa, a public health grad student and knitter who lives in Philadelphia with her enormous puppy.

Prudie and Furukawa dig into letters about how to handle a brother who’s draining your parents of their retirement funds, what to do when you realize that an old friend makes you feel anxious and afraid, how to rebuild an estranged relationship with your parents on your own terms, what to consider when sex in your marriage becomes non-existent. Plus a voicemail from a listener who’s wondering how to stop living in a cluttered, messy home.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


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Mar 31 2020

55mins

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Social (Media) Distancing

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Prudence is joined this week by Phil Surkis, an Oakland based podcast producer, whose shows include Dear Prudence, and the upcoming Alicia Garza podcast, Lady Don’t Take No. He’s the co-host of the podcast, o.k. land, along with comedian Abas Idris.

Prudie and Surkis tackle letters about how to keep your spirits up while social distancing without social media, what to do when you live far from your mom during the time of the coronavirus, is it okay to buy wedding gifts months after the wedding occurred, what to do when you don’t want your best man’s girlfriend at your wedding, is it okay to ask a family on an unplanned extended stay in your home to kick in some cash, what to consider when your friends don’t meet your birthday expectations, is it okay to name your baby the same name as your friend’s child.

Join us online for Dear Prudence Live on March 25th at 7PM ET! Visit slate.com/live for the link!

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mar 24 2020

1hr 2mins

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Feminist Breast Lift

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Prudence is joined this week by Calvin Kasulke, a writer, podcast producer and transsexual living in Brooklyn. His work has been featured in outlets including MEL Magazine, Vice, Electric Literature and BuzzFeed.

Prudie and Kasulke dig into letters about what to consider about getting a breast lift as a reward for achieving a weight goal, how to get people to use your full name without sounding like a snob, should you let your bestie know that her friends let loose insulting gay comment to you at her last party, what to do when the sound of a co-worker’s voice irritates you, should you correct the misconception your sister is transphobic, even though you don’t speak to her anymore. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 


Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mar 17 2020

52mins

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He Could Be The One

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Prudence is joined this week by Kaitlyn Greenidge, the author of the novel We Love You, Charlie Freeman. Greenidge has written for the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Vogue, Glamour, Elle, Virginia Quarterly Review and other places. 

Prudie and Greenidge tackle letters about what to do when you can’t accept that your sister is dating a felon who’s fighting a heroin addiction, what to consider when you find out that your boyfriend fathered a child that he wants nothing to do with, are you obligated to return your boyfriend’s meat cleaver after finding it a year after you broke up, how to politely ask friends to return books you consider long overdue, should you discourage your not very sensitive boyfriend from becoming a therapist.


Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mar 10 2020

51mins

Play

Cubicle Creep

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Prudence is joined this week by New York City based writer, Jaya Saxena. She's currently on staff at Eater.com, and her essay collection Crystal Clear is forthcoming from Quirk Books this year.

Prudie and Saxena dig into letters about what to do when you discover a coworker has been tracking your attendance, actions and wardrobe, should you fake a baptism to appease your grandmother, what to consider when your boyfriend violates your trust by touching you after you told him not to, how to handle coworkers who treat you like their children because of your age, how to tell your conservative parents that you’ve been secretly living with your boyfriend. 

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Production by Phil Surkis



Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mar 03 2020

52mins

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Not A Good Look

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Prudence is joined this week by Faran Krentcil, the editorial director of The Newsette and editor-at-large for ELLE.com. She lives in New York City with her life partner, a vintage leopard print coat from Paris. 

Prudie and Krentcil tackle letters about what to do when your boyfriend casually reveals he wore blackface in college, how to act around your sister after seeing her presence in a porn film, what to consider when your husband makes a hobby out of drinking beer, how to let friends know that you are once again transitioning to a more androgynous look, what to do when you find yourself keeping your fridge filled with food you don’t eat.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. 

Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets


Production by Phil Surkis

Email: prudence@slate.com 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 25 2020

56mins

Play

iTunes Ratings

772 Ratings
Average Ratings
558
73
42
40
59

Time to take a break.

By Cr39144 - May 26 2020
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There comes a time in advice columnists’ lives where they seem to hate everyone who writes/calls in to them. I’m not judging. I assume it’s the same bitterness you get when you’ve worked in any customer-facing job for too long. Recently the advice on Dear Prudence has gone from helpful to hurtful. Danny seems to have lost his ability to *assume positive intent* in the letters and has turned to lashing out at letter-writers. I miss the old Danny! Seems like it’s time for a long vacation.

thoughtful, caring advice

By Scubadoc16 - Mar 21 2020
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I really enjoy this podcast