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Rank #106 in Kids & Family category

Comedy
Kids & Family
Parenting

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Updated 3 days ago

Rank #106 in Kids & Family category

Comedy
Kids & Family
Parenting
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Hosted by funny moms Margaret Ables (Nick Mom) and Amy Wilson (When Did I Get Like This?), “What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a comedy podcast solving today’s parenting dilemmas so you don’t have to. We’re both moms of three, dealing with the same hassles as any parent, albeit with slightly differing styles. Margaret is laid-back to the max; Amy never met an expert or a list she didn't like. In each episode, we discuss a parenting issue from multiple perspectives and the accompanying expert advice that may or may not back us up. We talk about it, laugh about it, call out each other’s nonsense, and then we come up with concrete solutions. Join us as we laugh in the face of motherhood! Winner of the 2018 Mom 2.0 Iris Award for Best Podcast, the 2017 Podcast Awards People’s Choice for Best Family and Parenting Podcast, and finalist for the 2019 Romper's Parent's Choice Award. whatfreshhellpodcast.com

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Hosted by funny moms Margaret Ables (Nick Mom) and Amy Wilson (When Did I Get Like This?), “What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a comedy podcast solving today’s parenting dilemmas so you don’t have to. We’re both moms of three, dealing with the same hassles as any parent, albeit with slightly differing styles. Margaret is laid-back to the max; Amy never met an expert or a list she didn't like. In each episode, we discuss a parenting issue from multiple perspectives and the accompanying expert advice that may or may not back us up. We talk about it, laugh about it, call out each other’s nonsense, and then we come up with concrete solutions. Join us as we laugh in the face of motherhood! Winner of the 2018 Mom 2.0 Iris Award for Best Podcast, the 2017 Podcast Awards People’s Choice for Best Family and Parenting Podcast, and finalist for the 2019 Romper's Parent's Choice Award. whatfreshhellpodcast.com

iTunes Ratings

357 Ratings
Average Ratings
320
20
7
6
4

Best ever!

By Jenmusic789 - Nov 17 2019
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My favorite podcast! Truly the best.

Funny and informative

By RCS3369853 - Oct 25 2019
Read more
Thank you for this podcast- so great

iTunes Ratings

357 Ratings
Average Ratings
320
20
7
6
4

Best ever!

By Jenmusic789 - Nov 17 2019
Read more
My favorite podcast! Truly the best.

Funny and informative

By RCS3369853 - Oct 25 2019
Read more
Thank you for this podcast- so great
Cover image of What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Latest release on Feb 19, 2020

The Best Episodes Ranked Using User Listens

Updated by OwlTail 3 days ago

Rank #1: Changing the Invisible Workload (with guest Eve Rodsky)

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The "invisible workload" has become shorthand for the never-ending to-do list that moms keep in our heads-- because much of that work is invisible to the people we do it for, let alone the larger world.

That work falls to us because moms tend to be the default parent, whatever our outside-the-home workload (or that of our spouses) might be. Are you the one who leaves work when the baby throws up at day care? Do you know which closet the wrapping paper is in- and if you're almost out? Is it your calendar that keeps track of when your kid has to bring the snack for soccer? Yup, us too.

Most of us get majorly resentful about this invisible work. Some of us make lists of it all (to make it more visible). Those lists make us mad. Not very much changes. We start to think that this is just the way it has to be.

But we don't have to fall for the old chestnut that women are just better at multitasking, and so we might as well keep doing it all. As professor of neurogenetics Dr. Pat Levitt explains:

"I don't know of any research that shows women are better multitaskers than men. In fact, multitasking is bad for everyone because our brains are not built to deal with more than one complex thing at a time."

This week's guest tells us how to effect actual change in our household distribution of labor by putting new systems in place that work for everyone. Eve Rodsky is author of the new book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution For When You Have Too Much To Do (And More Life To Live), and she's showing us all a path forward to create the relationships and households that we deserve. Don't miss this interview!

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Oct 23 2019

51mins

Play

Rank #2: Changing How We Talk To Our Kids (with guest Dr. Wendy Mogel)

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It’s easy for most parents to explain what’s wrong with how our kids speak to us: the snark, sarcasm, and eye-rolling are all things we could use a lot less of.  But could the way we talk to our kids use a little fine-tuning as well? 

Dr. Wendy Mogel’s latest book, Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say It, and When To Listen, is just out in paperback. In this episode, Dr. Wendy Mogel tells us how to bridge the ever-more-complicated communication gap between parents and children, no matter what age our kids are. Over the last two years we've quoted Dr. Mogel more than any other parenting expert, and no surprise- this interview is full of "aha moments" and great ideas. You can read and download the full transcript here.

And if you still need a little convincing that we should be focusing on the faults with our own parental communication, rather than the shortcomings of our children’s techniques, consider this quote from another classic of parenting advice, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk:

"Rather than blaming your kids for all your parenting grief, you can improve communication with them by making a few changes to the way you speak to them and set the tone of a situation. Listening, sharing feelings, and respecting your kids will make your job as a parent far easier.”

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Apr 17 2019

1hr 3mins

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Rank #3: The Small Things That Drive Moms Insane

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We asked the listeners to tell us their extremely minor annoyances of motherhood-- the smaller and more seemingly inconsequential, the better, because it turns out those are things that really make us loco.

From soggy bath toys, to pushing swings, to the toddler who spins around and offers the wrong arm to be put into the held-up coat sleeve, here are many of the teeny-tiny things that drive moms insane.

Join the fun on our Facebook page!

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Nov 13 2019

52mins

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Rank #4: Husband Crimes: Can This Marriage Be Saved?

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We asked you to tell us your spouses’ most unacceptable-- and also extremely minor-- household infractions.

356 of you responded.

Whether it’s turning off the AC because it's "too cold" at 75 degrees, creating a Sock Mountain of not-quite-dirty-enough laundry, or pausing Netflix to point out plot holes, this episode explores everything spouses do that is trivially horrible.

It must also be said: while these offenses are most often properly termed as Husband Crimes, this episode proves that Wives can also be guilty of using ten water glasses in one day, or of eating potato chips too loudly. It seems that no marriage is entirely free of Spouse Crimes.

 You are heard. You deserve justice.

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Aug 14 2019

57mins

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Rank #5: Parenting Styles: Which Ones Are We (And Should We Care?)

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Helicopter moms, snowplow moms, tiger moms, free-range moms… we usually define all of these parenting types in the negative: well, at least I’m not THAT.

But are there useful takeaways from each of these parenting styles that we can combine cafeteria-style to create our own? Can we reject some of the judginess of free-range parenting, or the tyranny of tiger momming, and still find things to love? What do we miss when we reject other moms' ways of doing things full-stop? 

Here are links to the books and articles we mention in this episode:

Frank Bruni: Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania

Amy Chua: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Foster Cline and Jim Fay: Parenting With Love and Logic

Nancy Gibbs for Time: Roaring Tigers, Anxious Choppers

The Grammarphobia Blog: The Original Tiger Mother?

Dr. James R. Laider for Autism Watch: The "Refrigerator Mother" Hypothesis of Autism

Heather Marcoux for Motherly: 'Snowplow parents' and the lessons we can take from them

Jessica McCrory Calarco for The Atlantic: 'Free Range' Parenting's Unfair Double Standard

Claire Cain Miller and Jonah Engel Bromwich for NYT: How Parents Are Robbing Their Children of Adulthood

Arti Patel for Global News: ‘Panda parenting’ is all about giving children more freedom — but does it work?

Katie Roiphe for Slate: The Seven Myths of Helicopter Parenting

Lenore Skenazy: Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry)

Emma Waverman for Today's Parent: Snowplow Parenting: The Latest Controversial Technique

Esther Wojcicki for Time: I Raised Two CEOs and a Doctor. These Are My Secrets to Parenting Successful Children

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Aug 21 2019

51mins

Play

Rank #6: Back to One: Things We're Starting Over This Year

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One of our very favorite things to say on this podcast, “back to one," is a term you'll hear dozens of times a day on any television or film set. It means resetting everything about a scene-- the cameras, the actors, the extras, the dollar bill that gets handed over, the coffee cup that gets picked up-- in order to do another take of that same scene. There's never any sense of disappointment or whose-fault-was-it judgment involved in doing a "back to one." It's just a reset so you can try it all again.

We apply "back to one" to all areas of our parenting lives that need a reset, whether it's twice a month or once every ninety seconds (take that deep, cleansing breath). And as we look to a new decade, we're making this new year's goals "back to ones" as well. We're skipping the part where we feel bad that we didn't read all the books we said we would last year. We're just saying "back to one" and resetting that intention for the coming year.

Here are what our listeners told us their "back to ones" for the new year are, plus a few of our own. We'll be resetting a lot, including what it means to have resolutions and goals for the new year in the first place. A reset is not a failure. It’s just what happens next.

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Jan 01 2020

52mins

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Rank #7: Screen Time

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This week’s episode is all about screen time. Given: Unlimited screen time is bad. But how much is okay? How much is too much? How do you handle the nightly battles of “But PLEASE, Mom! Just one more level!” when it’s time to unplug?

 Most importantly: is it ever okay to let our kids’ brains melt just long enough to get dinner finished?

 In this episode, we talk about how to limit screen time for each age group– toddlers to teens– while acknowledging that screens are an increasing part of our children’s lives, both inside the classroom and out.

 Since we recorded this episode the American Academy of Pediatrics has lifted its draconian “no screens under two” rule, which we heartily agree with. Encourage parents to make good choices; don’t treat us like idiots who are incapable of exercising judgment. Really, don’t. You wouldn’t like us when we’re angry.

Here’s links to other writing and products mentioned in this episode:

Resources for when you’re ready to go hard-core


* screenfree.org

* unpluggedchallenge.com

* sabbathmanifesto.org (National Day of Unplugging)

* Time Timer

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Oct 27 2016

44mins

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Rank #8: Small Changes, Big Difference

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We asked all of you on the show and on Facebook to tell us the small changes you’ve made in your lives (as parents and as, you know, just actual people) that have turned out to make a big difference. This episode is full of game-changing ideas for your home, your school mornings, and your sanity.

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Apr 25 2018

45mins

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Rank #9: What is Up With Toddlers?

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Have you a short fat dictator in your home? Do you cower before a 24-pound child demanding pizza– no, not THAT kind of pizza! the other kind, the kind she likes NOW, which apparently has neither sauce nor cheese?

 What is *UP* with toddlers?

 In this episode we discuss

 * why toddlers’ tantrums may have, at least at one time, been biologically necessary

 why taking your toddler’s french toast sticks away makes him feel like he’s suddenly swimming alone in open ocean

 how expecting a toddler to be “magically cute” is extremely problematic

 why, if you really must ice-skate with a toddler, you must always, always take your own skates off first

 And here’s links to some fascinating research, helpful tips, and funny toddler stuff we reference:

 Kate Gammon for Popular Science: Birth Of Memory: Why Kids Forget What Happened Before Age 7

Patrick Sauer for Fatherly: What’s Going On Inside A Toddler’s Brain, According To Science

Alison Gopnik’s TED talk: What Do Babies Think?

Mo Willems and his perfect description of how a toddler goes “boneless”

Toddlerography with James Corden and Jennifer Lopez

…and from England’s First Steps Research, a study indicating that a toddler’s daily caloric output is the equivalent of going 83 rounds in a boxing ring.


This episode also features our interview with Heather Spohr, co-author of the new book The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Whiny Unfed. Spohr’s book is hilarious *and* has practical advice (our favorite combo) for surviving the inevitable onslaught of the Toddler Apocalypse in your own household. Take heart, and plan ahead.

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Jan 10 2018

53mins

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Rank #10: Surviving a Toddler and a Newborn

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Parenthood is hard. Different stages have different challenges. But there’s one particular phase that is of legendary, Kilimanjaro-climbing difficulty: surviving the first few months as the parent of two children, a toddler and a newborn. 

This episode was suggested by Raya, who says: 

"At one point I had a newborn and newly-turned-two-year-old. With my husband working seven days a week, I found myself alone the majority of the time with both kids. My kids are now one and three and it is getting easier, but those first eight months where probably the hardest thing I have experienced.”

We agree on both counts: it gets easier. It may also be one of the hardest things we ever experienced. But here’s how to get through it! We asked our listeners to tell us their best advice for the toddler/newborn stage, and in this episode we discussthe best gear to have on handthe sanity saversthe things to do ahead of time in the moments you have one or both hands freehow to let people helpthe singular importance of consistent napping (for you too Mom)why Moana is apparently the movie to have on repeatIf you survived this stage and lived to tell the tale, take a bow (seriously, you deserve it). If you’re in it now: we see you, and you got this. If you’re about to enter this stage: okay, yes, it’s really hard. But you’ll get through it as long as you- in our listener Rachel’s words- “give yourself so much grace.” 

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Jan 23 2019

45mins

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Rank #11: The Best Advice Ever

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Sometimes you gotta consult the experts. We asked our listeners to tell us their best life advice, and as usual, you all delivered! This episode is full of great advice on

-making choices

-doing what matters

-ignoring the haters

-and liking ourselves a little better.

Join the conversation in our new Facebook group!

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Feb 13 2019

52mins

Play

Rank #12: House Rules That Work

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We asked our listeners to tell us their go-to House Rules. Whether these words to live by are hanging in your kitchen written in cutesy script on a faux-weathered piece of wood (“in this house we give hugs”) or have been implanted in your children’s brains simply by your repeatedly screaming them, here are your (and our) best House Rules for:

screens, fighting, pets, personal space, the dinner table, sleep, Saturdays, secrets, and being nice.

Join the conversation in our Facebook group!

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Jun 26 2019

52mins

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Rank #13: When Your Kids Take Everything Out On You

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Most parenting experts say being our kids’ safe space includes letting some amount of their snarkiness roll off our backs. It’s normal. Don’t take it personally.

And knowing that it’s universal helps. Sometimes. A little.

But we still struggle. Shouldn’t we insist on respect from our kids? And what happens when the eye-rolling and "God, Mom, don't you know anything?" really starts to wear us down?

In this episode we discuss why kids take things out on us as parents (spoiler alert: it gets worse before it gets better) and how we can lower our reactivity in order to respond more effectively.

Here’s links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss:

Christa Santangelo, PhD: A New Theory of Teenagers (book)

Alice G. Walton for The Atlantic: 12 Ways to Mess Up Your Kids

Sara Bean for Empowering Parents: “I Hate You, Mom! I Wish You Were Dead!” — When Kids Say Hurtful Things

Kim Abraham for Empowering Parents: Anger, Rage and Explosive Outbursts: How to Respond to Your Child or Teen’s Anger

Janet Lehman for Empowering Parents: Do Your Kids Respect You? 9 Ways to Change Their Attitude

Stephanie Klindt: 10 Ways To Set Appropriate Boundaries With Teens

Dr. Wendy Mogel: Mothers, don't take teen rejection personally

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Jul 10 2019

54mins

Play

Rank #14: Conquering Clutter

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America has 3% of the world’s kids… and 40% of the world’s toys. We’ve got clutter, right here in River City.

In our opinion the best decluttering advice, from Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist, is to “slow the accumulation of new possessions.” In other words, don’t let all that junk in the front door in the first place.


But assuming your household missed that memo— as ours both have— in this episode we discuss:


* non-vehicular nonsense

* our kids’ anxiety about purging toys, even long-forgotten ones

* the personal blind spots we have when clutter-clearing (Margaret has T-shirts from HIGH SCHOOL)

* the procrastination-enabling, problem-compounding reality of owning a storage unit

* the great unused potential of the back of your closet doors

* why the roasting pan you use once a year can become your toy room’s greatest strategy

* the surprisingly plausible “super-fun cleaning party”


Amy organizes a little bit at a time; she thinks emptying a junk drawer a day is the key to a tidy home. Margaret says her house is way beyond the help afforded by cleaning out her makeup bag on a Tuesday afternoon. But wherever you lie on the clutter continuum, this episode is full of ideas for eating that elephant. One delicious bite at a time.

Here’s some links to research and resources discussed in this episode:


* the UCLA social science study in 2012 that shows our collective clutter-induced doom: Life at Home in the 21st Century: 32 Families Open Their Doors

* “low self-worth apparel” as defined by creativity guru Julia Cameron

* the “decluttering burst,” from Courtney Carver of Be More With Less

* the “30 Day Declutter Challenge,” from Liz Neiman of the Love and Marriage Blog

* from Beth Teitel for the Boston Globe: Today’s Families are Prisoners of Their Own Clutter


This episode is brought to you by Blinkist, which distills the best takeaways of popular non-fiction into 15- minute “blinks” you can listen to or read while you’re on the go. Check out decluttering “blinks” like Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up or Julie Morgenstern’s Organizing from the Inside Out with our special code: http://bit.ly/freshblinkist

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Sep 13 2017

1hr 5mins

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Rank #15: The Whining is Killing Us

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Whining is what experts call a “low-power strategy of dominance.” Kids do it because it’s what’s available to them. Since it drives parents bonkers, it’s remarkably effective. And it turns out whining really is as annoying as we think it is. A recent study tested whether adults (non-parents and parents both) were more distracted by whining than other sounds. The result? Everyone in the study, whether they had kids or not, found the sound of a whining toddler twice as distracting as the sound of a table saw screeching at full volume.

As effective as this "auditory sensitivity" is, no wonder most humans between the ages of two and four learn to take full advantage. Still, there are things we can do to make the whining bother us less, which will make it less effective, which will make our kids do it less, and look who's got a strategy of dominance now?

In this episode, we discuss the best ways to deal with whiners, and how to perhaps greet it with a bit more generosity. We might as well; we're probably stuck with it. As parenting specialist Bonnie Harris puts it:

"Whining is as developmental and normal in a toddler’s life as discovering the pleasure of saying “no." Don’t think about teaching your child not to do it. Do think about ways you can help yourself deal with it calmly and perhaps shorten its duration."

Here are links to research on whining that we discuss in this episode:

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Nov 27 2019

49mins

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Rank #16: Punishing Kids: What Works and What Doesn't

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When it comes to disciplining our kids, having "the punishment fit the crime” seems like a reasonable goal. But what if the “crime” in question is hitting a sibling? 

And what makes a punishment good in the first place? Is our primary goal dissuasion or providing insight? How can our approach to discipline help our children make a better choice next time- even if they’re not worried about being caught?

In this episode we talk about what does and doesn’t work for punishing kids of all ages, and discusswhy once you’ve threatened a punishment, you have to follow throughwhy shaming is unproductive (and ineffective)why punishments for younger children need to be “logical and immediate"why punishments for older children need to go beyond taking their phoneswhy, once a kid has served the time for her crime, a parent needs to let it goIn the end, we think punishments work best when we keep our eyes on our longer-term parenting goals: teaching our kids accountability and helping them learn to self-regulate, while also ensuring domestic tranquility (and providing for the common defense). 

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Feb 06 2019

44mins

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Rank #17: Yelling Less

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When it comes to mom-yelling we hold these truths to be self-evident: never yelling is not possible; less yelling is desirable.

 Let’s be real: there are times when every parent’s got to yell. Here’s how Lisa Belkin put it in The New York Times:


When all else fails, a few claps of oral thunder certainly show that Mom or Dad has had it, that humans can be pushed just so far, and this is what it looks like when you’ve pushed them too much.


But although we might agree that a little bit of hollering has its place, we’d both like to do less yelling in our homes, due to two other unavoidable parenting truths:

• The more you yell, the more you have to yell.

• The more you yell, the more your kids will yell.

In this episode, we discuss what we yell about, and then what to do about it. There’s usually an easier solution to what you’re yelling about than yelling, or at least a quieter one. Parenting expert Carolyn Dalgiesh, author of The Sensory Child Gets Organized, calls it a “workaround for the source of tension.” In Amy’s house, for example, an extra set of toothbrushes in the downstairs bathroom cut the morning yelling by half.

And sometimes we have to face the fact that parenting without yelling takes a little more effort than parenting with. As Margaret’s sister-in-law likes to say,


Really saying ‘no’ means getting off the couch.


Here’s some links to other takes on the topic we discuss in this episode:


Amy Wilson for Redbook: Could You Go a Week Without Yelling at Your Kids? (spoiler alert: I could not)

Hilary Stout for The New York Times: For Some Parents, Shouting is the New Spanking


Sue Shellenbarger for the Wall Street Journal: Talking to Your Kids After You Yell

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May 24 2017

49mins

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Rank #18: Managing the Grandparent Relationship

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What should we as parents do when the well-meaning grandparents in our lives are overindulgent of their grandchildren? Or undermine our parenting choices?

And what do we do with our own hurt feelings when our parents don't seem very interested in our kids at all?

In this episode we talk about how to create a grandparent relationship that works for everyone. It's worth the effort. Take it from our friend Belinda Luscombe, who when it comes to navigating this relationship, reminds us of the ever-present upside:

"Don't let the opportunity of getting to know your in-laws or parents in a different way pass you by."

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Susan Newman, Ph.D: Little Things Mean a Lot: Creating Happy Memories With Your Grandchildren

Jaycee Dunn for Parents: What to Do About Uninvolved Grandparents

Jo Piazza for Parents: From Toxic Mother to Loving Grandmother: How I Learned to Forgive My Mom After My Son Was Born

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Sep 11 2019

49mins

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Rank #19: When Is This Going to Be Fun Again? Lighthearted Parenting

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We all fall into the trap of thinking that every day with our kids has to contain a “snowglobe moment,” a social-media-worthy image of perfect joy for our entire family.

And even if part of us knows that’s not realistic, another part of us thinks that it’s all supposed to be fun. That there must be something wrong with us if we don’t love every single moment of our chaotic lives with little ones.

But once we kick that shame to the curb, there really are ways to make our lives as parents more fun and lighthearted. Even on a regular Tuesday.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • How we can be lighthearted, even when things aren’t fun
  • How we can have fun even when things aren’t easy
  • How we can have fun even when our kids definitely aren’t


Our basic takeaway: parenting definitely gets a little more fun as our kids get a little bit easier… and by “easier,” we mean “not throwing themselves into mortal danger every ninety seconds because they don’t know any better.”

The first step to having more fun may simply be to wish that it were so. As motivational speaker Danielle LaPorte explains: “Knowing how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have.”

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Jan 29 2020

51mins

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Rank #20: The Best Relationship Advice Ever

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We asked our listeners to tell us the best relationship advice they've ever gotten- for romantic and platonic relationships both. In this episode, we discuss the advice that has worked best for us in the past- and what we're going to try going forward. 

Stuck on what "prioritizing your spouse" really means? Tired of never going to bed angry? Looking for some time-tested fight-avoiding techniques from our listeners' great-grandmothers? You'll find much to think about in this episode!

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Mar 06 2019

52mins

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