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The Snark Tank

Chris Ray Gun, Tom Sweeny and SomeBlackGuy (that's his name, we swear) are funny people, so let them funny for you.

Weekly hand curated podcast episodes for learning

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#03: Nakey Jakey - "Toaster Bathtub Situation"

Theme Song by The Living Tombstone ► https://bit.ly/1lLg7zp Finally I have an excuse to gush about video games on this shitshow of ours! Our guest today is Nakey Jakey, one of the most talented people on YouTube (I believe this, this is not me being gay.) The podcast follows it's usual format of nonsense but we eventually get into a deep discussion about video games and the industry revolving around your questions! Bethesda's Fallout 76 fuck up, the early life of Xbox Live, Red Dead Redemption 2, Halo 3, Titanfall 2, Sekiro, our favorite soundtracks, liveleak, Smart House, toasters in bathtubs, leprosy, Harry Potter merchandise, and so much more! If you like video games as well as nonsense improv, I'm sure you'll possibly have a decent time, chances are, maybe. 

1hr 54mins

27 Mar 2019

Rank #1

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#02: Tom Sweeny and Gabby - "Sickly Chris"

Theme Song by The Living Tombstone ► https://bit.ly/1lLg7zp Welcome to the first episode of The Snark Tank Podcast! .... of 2019! I'm sick with the flue or AIDS or something equivalently dire so to keep our typically famous guests safe from my quarantined ass, we decided to do a chill shorter episode to reign in the new year. We're joined today by Tom Sweeny and Gabby (My Manager and Camera Man ... Camera Woman? Ehh.) Today's episode is shorter cuz I was literally dying but we talked about Trumps McDonalds Dinner, best movies of 2018, roach milk, circus tents, Buzzfeed, being bullied in Catholic school, and all sorts of other things. Don't hurt me.

59mins

19 Jan 2019

Rank #2

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#06: Onision Bad

Will Onision survive the wrath of Chris Hansen? Will crying kids on Xbox Live ever NOT be nostalgic? Is bullying good? Will the mysticism of the N word ever dissipate? Can normal sized people have little people kids? Did furries ruin werewolves? Will Chris and and Derrick ever get over their undying lust for Jennette McCurdy? A fever dream of an episode awaits you.

1hr 59mins

23 Jan 2020

Rank #3

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#13: Evil Robits

Will Artificial Intelligence destroy us? Why is Castlevania's Netflix series so good for no reason? Did Michael Jackson do it? A spirited debate ensues! Will Osama Bin Laden ever perform a post mortem hologram concert like Tupac did? Why does Chris look forward to a societal collapse? How long would it take for us to turn to cannibalism? Is sex with advanced robots considered cheating? Chris absolutely hates this episode and considered literally deleting it so, we hope someone likes it at least!

2hr 5mins

12 Mar 2020

Rank #4

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#10: Are We Weebs?

A substantial amount of anime talk in this one despite all of us being far too cool to talk of such things. What were our worst jobs? Why is Crazy Taxi so underrated? Will Sweeny surrender an N-word pass to Donald Trump? Are English dubs sometimes better than the originals? How would Chris abuse the space time continuum if he could? What the hell happened to the Spider-Man animated series? Why did Derrick and Sweeny NOT SEE THE SONIC MOVIE?!All that and probably a little bit more on today's Question Driven Extravaganza episode of The Snark Tank Podcast!

1hr 45mins

20 Feb 2020

Rank #5

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#11: Top Tier Television

Was the Sonic movie great? Why does Michael Bloomberg insist on pretending to be a human being? Would Chris, Derrick, and Sweeny ever become e-bois and show some skin on OnlyFans? Why do Americans watch child beauty pageants outside of Epstien's house parties? Are we alcoholics? Probably. Why is Spongebob more iconic than the Simpsons? All this and more on this unusually political episode of The Snark Tank! 

2hr

28 Feb 2020

Rank #6

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#05: Game of the Decade

The Snark Tank Podcast is weekly now! Rejoice! Today we're joined by our permanent third, SomeBlackGuy to go through all of the best games of the 2010s. A defense of Skyrim and Mass Effect 3, a surprising choice by Chris, and Tom Sweeny ranting about the power of semen and bone marrow. It's a doozy.

1hr 56mins

18 Jan 2020

Rank #7

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#12: Surviving Aliens

How would we go about surviving an alien invasion? Do roaches count as animals?  And if so, do they deserve respect? Will Derrick win a date with Trisha Paytas? What are the perfect video game soundtracks to accompany everyday life? Would you let a man knock you out for $10,000? Should the Snark Tank have merch? WHO WILL MAKE IT! Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!

2hr 3mins

5 Mar 2020

Rank #8

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#09: Video Game Movies

The most diverse podcast in the world (maybe) is back with all new shenanigans! The Uncharted movie is delayed once more! Why can't Hollywood figure out video game movies? Why was Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island the best thing since sliced bread? Why can't Chris suck it up and like Dark Souls? Would you break up with your girlfriend if you found out she ate raw bats? How about a little roleplay? Norm Macdonald as Marcus Fenix? God help us. What is this show?

1hr 52mins

13 Feb 2020

Rank #9

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#08: The Dating Game (+ Star Wars Spoilers)

(Star Wars Spoilers towards the end.)The gang answers your dating questions and solve all of your romantic issues with our combined sex appeal and infinite knowledge of the fairer sex. Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp, a Fake News Challenge, a takedown of Star Wars, the best music of the 2000s, and Derrick apparently doesn't know what a plain slice of pizza is. Apologies for the audio glitch at the start! It's a jam packed episode, Snarkoleptics! (Don't listen if you're hungry)

1hr 54mins

6 Feb 2020

Rank #10

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#14: Scary Stories

Derrick is sick, so Gabby is back to fill in for our ailed companion. Will we set up a Discord? Is Spider-Man 2 better than Into The Spider-Verse? Sweeny and Chris face off. Is it homosexual to suck your own dick? Do all the kids die in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Why is Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark so timeless? Why was the Twilight Zone awesome? Sweeny is afraid of the ocean and he's a huge silly bitch because of it. Gabby's social media:  https://www.instagram.com/teethlikemilk/ All this and more on this episode of the Snark Tank.  Hopefully this helps take your mind off of our crazy global situation. Stay safe. Be well.

1hr 42mins

19 Mar 2020

Rank #11

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#07: Coronavirus

Will the world end because some dudes in China ate bats for no good reason? Would Chris survive without his legs? Will Sweeny stop doing his garbage Family Guy impressions? Will Papa John exact his seething primal rage upon our puerile realm? Is Big Mouth too creepy to be funny? Was No Man's Sky destined to fail? Why is Halo Infinite hurting me with it's secrecy, this is Chris talking I'm genuinely upset. All this and more on this episode of The Snark Tank Podcast. God help us.  Also, of course.RIP Kobe

1hr 55mins

30 Jan 2020

Rank #12

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#15: Snowflake and Safespace

Doom Eternal and Animal Crossing are out to save us from the unyielding contagion! Why is the Gamecube controller the worst controller? Why did Marvel just make the worst superheroes ever imaginable? The best movie licensed games? Will humans fly off the Earth if it abruptly stops spinning? Two non scientists weigh in! What are our most plausible conspiracy theories? Why does Chris like fevers? Would we fuck pokemon? I hate this. All this and more on the most ignorant episode of the podcast yet.

2hr 2mins

26 Mar 2020

Rank #13

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#04: imAllexx - VidCon and London Stabbings

New Snark Tank! This time we're joined by imAllexx, a young Hogwartz student who tends to get himself involved in a lot of drama somehow. We recorded this before I really knew about any of the shit that was going down but I didn't want to not post this episode just to avoid controversy. Seems like a bitch move. Anyway, we recount some stories about VidCon and there are some golden Sweeny lines. Another one coming this September with Ricepirate Mick! Stay tuned!

1hr 24mins

29 Aug 2019

Rank #14

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#17: Film Failures

Can your brain understand having your heart ripped out? Is Tom Sweeny a genuine sociopath? Will teleporters kill us? What is it like going to Black People Church? Gears of War 5 is actually kinda good? Are games harder or easier to play now that we're older and smarter, yet more feeble and weak? Do dogs understand violence? Should cunnilingus have a bubblegum flavor? (jesus christ) Would you want to experience true blindness? What was the worst film? Dragon Ball Evolution? Catwoman? Or Avatar: The Last Airbender? The competition is fierce this Easter! Sorry about literally everything you're gonna hear.  NOTE: This episode won't have the names at the end, but the public feed will have it. Editing this was a nightmare due to discord completely fucking our audio. It's better now than last time though. Will be working to make audio as crystal clear as possible. Thanks again for your support in these trying times.

1hr 50mins

16 Apr 2020

Rank #15

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#16: Fictional Crushes

What was your first fictional crush? What influenced the goth girl trend of the 2000s? What was our most painful experience? What were the best movies of all time? Is Shrek 2 the best sequel ever crafted? Yes. It is. Why does Sweeny want to harm all who approach him? Would we set foot in Jurassic Park if Jeff Goldblum was guaranteed? Why was Dragon Ball Super so ... eh? Do British rappers inherently suck? Why does Gears of War 2 STILL have the best horde mode in any game ever? Has this pandemic made us all incels? Find out on todays horrible sounding episode of The Snark Tank! Some audio issues in this episode due to a primary discord recording (mostly Sweeny) but these issues are already resolved for next time. Thanks for your support. Enjoy the shitshow.

1hr 40mins

9 Apr 2020

Rank #16

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#23: Keemstar Wars

Keem vs H3H3, Chris vs Jack Saint, and Joe Rogan vs YouTube? It's war season now, fellas!  Special thanks to Tim Dadabo, voice of 343 Guilty Spark for the intro.

2hr 10mins

28 May 2020

Rank #17

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#22: Twitch Deer Girl

Go to manscaped.com and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: SNARKTANK #manscapedpod SNARK TANK MERCH ► https://teespring.com/stores/snark-tank A girl who thinks she's a deer has a power trip on Twitch. Why is the internet up in arms? Can reptiles be funny? What would be the worst way to die? What movies deserved sequels but didn't get them? Would you rather be an NPC in Crazy Taxi or GTA Online? What's a worse curse? Looking like, or talking like Jar Jar Binks? Hi, my names is Omry. I write the descriptions for The Snark Tank. I can't leave. The locks are on the outside and this is my only shot to reach out. Chris doesn't pay attention to these. Please, send assistance. I'm located at cedwoiku;wlcnfkjc

2hr

21 May 2020

Rank #18

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#21: The Last Great Spoof Movie

Was Tropic Thunder the last great Mel Brooks style parody film? If we could rid this world of anything, what would it be? Are bees really endangered or is it a lie from Big Bee? Are deepfakes introducing a huge issue with the reliability of video evidence? What's the deal with OnlyFans?  Why was Billy Mays such a perfect salesman? All this and more on todays confusing episode of the Help Me I'm Terrified of The Great Beyond Podcast

1hr 55mins

14 May 2020

Rank #19

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#20: The Last of Us Leaks

The Last of Us: Part 2 had a massive leak and we can't not talk about it. (Don't worry. No spoilers.) Also, Kim Jong Un survived?!? Are Orcs in fantasy supposed to be black people? A spirited debate about diversity in media and what games, movies, etc did representation without talking down to their audiences. Is Assassin's Creed getting better or is it still garbage? MySpace vs Facebook: Which was superior in their prime? Why is web design getting worse and worse? Is the nuke the ultimate deterrent or the ultimate doom? All this and more in this nerd riddled nonsense.  PS: Please be respectful and don't spread Last of Us spoilers. People should be able to participate without shit being spoiled for them. Thanks.

1hr 53mins

7 May 2020

Rank #20