Rank #1: 6: Nebbishy Vulnerability

John and Dan talk about monetizing the pizza rat, criks, shanty towns, survival bags, pocket knives and switchblades, when to use a machete, the stockpiler impulse, the line between necessity and luxury, owning 24 blazers, the perfect spork, feather allergies, death dinners, post-apocalyptic fantasies, and misremembered hip-hop lyrics.
Links for this episode:
- New York City rat taking pizza home on the subway - YouTube
- You Love Pizza Rat. You Don't Own Pizza Rat | WIRED
- Jukin Media: A multi-platform media and entertainment company
- Pizza Rat: Our newest obsession - CNN.com
- Matt Little (@themattlittle) | Twitter
- The three stages of going viral in 2015, according to the Pizza Rat meme - The Washington Post
- Krist Novoselic - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Stream - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Urban Dictionary: crik
- Minecraft
- Shanty town - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Levi's 501 Shrink to Fit - Shop Shrink to Fit Jeans | Levi's®
- Amazon.com: Buck Knives 110BRS Folding Hunter Knife: Sports & Outdoors
- Amazon.com : BUCK 110 50th Anniversary Ebony Diamond Wood Folding Hunter Stainless Pocket Knife : Sports & Outdoors
- Ira Elliot - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Nada Surf - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Amazon.com : Switchblade Comb : Hair Combs : Beauty
- Charvet® Shirts: Shop at $485.00+ | STYLIGHT
- Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Juggalo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Sep 25 2015
2hr 1min
Rank #2: 4: Pie from a Stranger

John and Dan talk about the search for automotive parts in junkyards, taking pies from strangers, the tendrils of insecurity, the cruelty of absence, emotional threats, a trip to Istanbul, clogged feeds, and the concept of giving.
Links for this episode:
- INFJ Personality (“The Advocate”) | 16Personalities
- Tie rod - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Synesthesia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Dana: The Practice of Giving
- Meaning of the Pali Word "Dana" | Dharma Wisdom
- Sinai Peninsula - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Sep 02 2015
2hr 3mins
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Rank #3: 3: I Now Declare This Mall Open

John talks with Dan about his recent performance with Fiona Apple, the events which took place on July 25, 2008 at the Westfield Southcenter mall, and their musical "first-times".
Links for this episode:
- Fiona Apple - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Jonathan Ames - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Nickel Creek
- American Beauty (album) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- John Roderick (@johnroderick) • Instagram photos and videos
- Westfield
- Westfield Southcenter
- Westfield Southcenter to celebrate expansion Friday - Kent Reporter
7-9:30 a.m. July 25 — Shoppers who are in line before 9:30 a.m. will receive a scratch-off ticket revealing a prize valued at $25 or more from various retailers.9 a.m. July 25 — Acoustic performance by Seattle-based musician John Roderick of The Long Winters will kick off the event, emceed by TV and radio personality Pat Cashman. - Freedom of Choice (album) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Alive II - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Nerd.is Tumblr Edition
- fyroadwork
- Rocky Mountain oysters - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Aug 26 2015
1hr 41mins
Rank #4: 123: Pot Monster

John and Dan discuss cannabis, marijuana, weed, and the highway to Girdwood.
Sep 14 2018
1hr 34mins
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Rank #5: 166: The El Dopa House

John talks about reconnecting with the world as a sober person.
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Oct 24 2019
1hr 19mins
Rank #6: 5: Barf. Doesn't matter.

John gets a speeding ticket and talks with Dan about automonmously piloted cars, instant messaging, being cocooned in neato, how social media may lead to the genesis of a sentient Earth, breaking Juan Gomez' Burton Woody, living in words, philosopher kings, the mind of Gaia, Martian exclamations (eggplant), and more.
Links for this episode:
- Three Laws of Robotics - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Three Laws of Robotics (often shortened to The Three Laws or Three Laws, also known as Asimov's Laws) are a set of rules devised by the science fiction author Isaac Asimov. The rules were introduced in his 1942 short story "Runaround", although they had been foreshadowed in a few earlier stories. - ???? Hundred Points Symbol Emoji
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Sep 18 2015
1hr 46mins
Rank #7: 107: I Got Rolfed

John and Dan talk about John's new back injury, potential treatments, sports teams, and mountain climbing.
Links for this episode:
- Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation - Wikipedia
- Rolfing - Wikipedia
- Walgreens TENS Therapy Unit With 2 Pads Set | Walgreens
- It Happened at the World's Fair - Wikipedia
- TD Garden - Wikipedia
- Rabbi says meat from genetically cloned pig could be eaten by Jews – including with milk | Jewish Telegraphic Agency
- Mount Rainier - Wikipedia
- GMC Denali - Wikipedia
- Denali - Wikipedia
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Apr 20 2018
1hr 44mins
Rank #8: 122: The Alaska Problem

Dan and John discuss the friendship code, oaths, and fake doodles.
Links for this episode:
Sep 07 2018
1hr 25mins
Rank #9: 116: Tweaker Crimes

John and Dan discuss crimes, drugs, and motivations.
Links for this episode:
Jul 07 2018
1hr 36mins
Rank #10: 11: To Serve Man

John and Dan talk about John's mystery package, false Egyptian beards, reading in the modern age, receiving data, vinyl, authorship, and the Mighty Max.
Links for this episode:
- The Twilight Zone - "To Serve Man"
Free to watch on Hulu - The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell
On Amazon - A Fan's Notes by Frederick Exley
On Amazon
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Nov 06 2015
1hr 59mins
Rank #11: 115: Lipstick Brown

Jun 29 2018
1hr 51mins
Rank #12: 139: Clark Griswalding

John and Dan discuss thin t-shirts, the nature of money, eels, and patreon natives.
Links for this episode:
Feb 02 2019
1hr 20mins
Rank #13: 151: Chasing the Dragon

John explains what happens after 12am.
Jun 01 2019
1hr 10mins
Rank #14: 170: Benefit Burnout

John and Dan talk about turning points.
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Nov 28 2019
1hr 13mins
Rank #15: 157: Sitting In Your Eden

John and Dan discuss John's idea of the true nature of humanity.
The Secret Private Personal After Show can be found here.
Links for this episode:
Aug 14 2019
1hr 28mins
Rank #16: 168: Carpetbaggery

John and Dan talk about school.
The bonus content for this episode can be found here!
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Nov 08 2019
1hr 9mins
Rank #17: 12: Intellectual Languages

John talks with Dan about his recent trip with John Hodgman, eating fancy meals, Cleopatra hair, Pendleton shirts, smoking pot and chewing tobacco, mixed media shows, foley artists, social scientists, metaphors of fire, and John's acquisition of Silver Medallion status.
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Nov 15 2015
1hr 54mins
Rank #18: 146: Companion Teeth

John's bipolar medicine has stopped working.
Apr 26 2019
1hr 17mins
Rank #19: 124: Benjafet

Dan and John compare blues to linoleum flooring. Wood paneling is discussed. John would choose a robot dragon over a robot owl.
Sep 20 2018
1hr 6mins
Rank #20: 169: The Soil

John and Dan discuss the ambition treadmill.
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Nov 18 2019
1hr 16mins