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Capricorn – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Updated 7 days ago

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Cover image of Capricorn – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Capricorn – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Latest release on Aug 30, 2020

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Rank #1: Capricorn Stoner Horoscope January

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Stoner Capricorn there are great blessings from the cosmos to kick off 2020.  The current planetary alignment is like a magnifying glass of positivity shining down on you.  And around the 10th of the month, this positive magnification reaches its focal point. Your future’s so bright, you better wear shades … even in January.

You are more than capable of receiving this blast of cosmic energy my sturdy Sea-goat, but are you ready?  Toke time early in the month for a solo meditative smoke session to align your chakras before the great planetary alignment.  The strain and quantity of the sacred herb does not matter, but the solo sesh is a must. Allow the sacred herb to be your guide on a journey to wash away the clutter in your emotional closet.  This beam of cosmic positivity will be most beneficial with an empty vessel ready to receive the energy. Prepare yourself stoner Capricorn to bathe in, and soak up the positive energy from this rare planetary alignment.  Emotional preparations with the sacred herb could help receive and store the positivity moving forward into 2020.

Stoner Capricorn, you must also prepare yourself for extreme radiation!  Yes, this positive cosmic event will create a bright nuclear aura surrounding your spacesuit.  Not only will it be noticeable to fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts, but it will be irresistible.  This event could greatly expand your smoke circle. Smoke circle acquaintances, and even stoner strangers will be mesmerized by the powerful positivity emanating from your being.

Don’t let all this glowing positivity go to your head stoner Capricorn.  Wise decision making still applies, especially in matters of money. However, fellow canna-buddies may be working through issues with empty pockets and empty pipes.  You must maintain your frugal nature to protect yourself, but sharing a bowl or a meal with a friend in need has no limit to karmatic rewards.

Use this cosmic blessing to your advantage stoner Capricorn.  Keep your portable puffin package at the ready for cannabis communions.  Through kindness, connected experiences, and positivity, you will convert this focused planetary alignment into long lasting friendships and progressive emotional momentum.

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Dec 31 2019

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Rank #2: Capricorn Stoner Horoscope December

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Stoner Capricorn December will be a challenging period.  But during this phase, you will be the one performing the exacting actions.  Stand tall my sturdy Sea Goat, this month you will bring the fight to those that oppose you.

Whether you are standing against injustice, confronting a nemesis, or breaking imposing societal restraints, there will be numerous loaded bowls of opportunity to smoke your foes.  But before you get your hyper confrontational stoner hard hat fitted for battle, toke a moment to contemplate the essence of the battles you wage. There will be cosmic support in December for confronting unjust obstacles and foes that have wronged your progressive path to a higher plane.  This universal sword and shield however, could disappear in moments of wrong-headed hypocritical tactics. Meditate with the sacred herb to gain clarity on the issue at hand. Seek a higher perspective to analyze and confirm the karmatic justice of the situation. This moment of pause for herbal discernment will protect you from further harm, and strengthen your position.

This impetus to confront wrongs could be most necessary and yet dangerous within the personal sphere.  Let’s back off the sword and shield analogy to understand confrontation can also be a bridge built with kindness.  As you meditate with the sacred herb to reach a higher perspective, view with your third eye how a hug can impact a struggle just as effectively as a sword.  The word confrontation can easily be replaced by the word communication. Airing grievances with a shared bowl will have longer positive impacts than dousing the situation in flames.  There will be times a flame thrower will only be needed to light a bowl for two. 

Remember stoner Capricorn, not every obstacle or confrontation should be approached in the same manner.  There are numerous ways to consume the sacred herb. There are equally numerous ways to confront a perceived oppressor or situation.  Always operate with kindness at heart.

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Nov 30 2019

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Rank #3: Capricorn Stoner Horoscope April

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Stoner Capricorn sometimes universal influence sends you a bag of bunk weed.  It’s how we react to a cosmically inspired bunk situation that leaves us open to a universal gift of a big bag of majestic sacred herb.  April may start off with a few stems, but if you keep it positive there will be big frosty buds the remainder of the month. Keep calm and puff on stoner Capricorn.

Much like the theme of the month, resiliency takes precedent in the workplace.  Squabbles and setbacks are sure to cloud the room in the early portion of April.  Toke time to meditate with the sacred herb after the work day is done. The perspective changing effects of the sacred herb will help approach the next day with a resolute attitude and solution oriented vibe.  The same people or factors that may cause a sticky situation early in the month might be the very same who grease the joints later in the month.

All stoner Capricorns will have revelatory bursts of information come to the surface as the month begins.  Partners, lovers, or potential love interests might discover secrets hidden under the thick skin of the Sea-Goat.  Once again, puff puff pass on the stress stoner Capricorn. Toke time to see the closet dwelling information from a higher perspective.  Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to fly high above the terrestrial noise to see your life’s timeline from a broad third eye vantage point.  In a relationship more information and communication usually leads to stronger bonds, and it could also provide the spark to start something special and new.

Most problems and dilemmas in April cannot be avoided.  It’s your reaction to them that will shape the future. Use smoke sessions with the sacred herb to step outside of yourself, and the situation, to see your house isn’t falling down.  You’ve built a solid foundation stoner Capricorn. You got this!

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Mar 30 2020

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Rank #4: Capricorn Stoner Horoscope February

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Stoner Capricorn as we travel down the river of life there are sections of dangerous rapids, terrifying cliff falls, monotonous meanderings, and swift peaceful stretches.  Sit back, relax, take puffs of cannabis smoke, February will be a swift peaceful stretch of time in the cosmic current of 2020.

Cosmic influence will not throw you into dangerous negative positions, but this life stream is always moving and should be respected.  So heed my words, I am not recommending toking it up to the point your cosmic spacesuit reaches autopilot. Travel through February with your third eye engaged.  As with any river, there are points of decision to navigate safely. Select your sacred cannabis strains according to the mellow mixed bag of cosmic influence this month.  Go hybrids or go home stoner Capricorn. A little bit of this and a little bit of that, with a keen third eye gaze on the path ahead.

There is an important period of February where universal influence will favor the ambitious stoner Capricorn.  Between the Full Moon of the 8th and the New Moon of the 23rd, productive ambition will be rewarded. No, not monetary rewards, but productive efforts during this time will receive added rays of positivity from the cosmos.  Around the Full Moon, toke time for a solo medicated meditative smoke session focused on your terrestrial travels, and how you want to move forward. For some this might be tackling tasks to make that side hustle a reality. Maybe for other stoner Capricorns this will provide the impetus to volunteer.  No matter the mission, between the 8th and 23rd is the time to execute.

While you are flowing through life in a safe space of the river bend, it is important to take stock in those around you.  February will be a powerful time to strengthen bonds with cannabis companions, and also make logical assessments of smoke circle acquaintances.  We are all on this cosmic spaceship together stoner Capricorn, make sure you appreciate others, and make sure you are appreciated.

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Jan 31 2020

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Rank #5: Capricorn Stoner Horoscope June

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Stoner Capricorn it’s time to pull out your compass and high water waders!  June is going to be a squirrelly mix of storming cosmic influence.  There you go, I ripped that line off like a band-aid.  Now let’s work on smoothing out this rough patch prediction.  After all, who else is built for storming weather besides the stoner Sea-Goat?

One of the spheres that will be affected most by the storming planetary alignment is the personal sphere; in particular, it will affect those cannabis companions closest to you stoner Capricorn.  When lines of communication break down, you have two immediate tools to help with the drama.  First of which is time.  Avoid immediate reactions.  The amount of time is up to you, and the circumstance; but breaking away from immediate reaction gives you time to contemplate and cool down.  Second, the soothing third eye vision of the sacred herb can help with deeply personal dilemmas.  Take a break from the immediacy of the moment, and toke time to see the issue from a higher perspective.  With time, and meditation with the sacred herb, these communicative dramatics may lose the heat of the moment.  In the end, perhaps you can chill the drama with a cannabis companion over a shared bowl.  

With the right sacred prescription of patience and a higher perspective, you should make it through June unscathed, maybe just bumped and bruised.  In fact, stoner Capricorn, if you stay grounded and avoid the heat of the moment, the bonds with cannabis companions might become stronger from the challenging assessments of June’s cosmic dilemmas.  

Your natural traits of conservatism, intellect, and persistence should guide you through any other obstacles presented this month.  The sturdy Sea-Goat can make it through any storming weather!  Don’t dismiss how important sheltering in place with a meditative smoke session can be to analyze and take reprieve from a dramatic situation.  Toke time this month to steal away by yourself to contemplate your situation with the sacred herb, and your favorite pipe.  It’s amazing how a nug, and your favorite piece, can bring a little welcomed peace to your life in moments of stress.  Puff on stoner Capricorn.

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May 30 2020

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