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Capricorn – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Monthly Marijuana Astrology for the Stoner at Heart

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope November

Stoner Capricorn you are in the middle of a confluence of celestial events this November.  The word of the month is satellitium:  A group of several planets in a sign.  The Sun, Mars, and Mercury will all be visiting the Capricorn sign this month.This triumvirate of celestial bodies will bring with them a deep connection to your fellow terrestrial astronauts.  Community, fellowship, and family will be the focus of the final Fall month.Toke time early in the month to make sure your stoner tool kit is up-to-date with shareable instruments of cannabis consumption.I do not have a particular cannabis prescription for November my Sea-Goat.  No matter the species or strain of our sacred herb, seek the connecting magic through shared experiences with the canna-fam and cannabis companions alike.Through the celestial influence, and the connected nature of the sacred herb, November promises to be a period of emotional bonding.  All of this communal fellowship with your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts will flow naturally into the cosmic influence in the final decade of November.  After the Full Moon of the 19th, we will all transition into a new celestial cycle.This cycle will bring with it depth of understanding within your own personal mission here on Earth.  The cannabis connected bonding during the month will draw out experience, healing, and perception from your canna-fam.This month is a great time to be a stoner Capricorn!  Remember to be flexible with your methods of cannabis consumption, and caring within your smoke circle.  Perhaps an at-home baking session with the canna-crew, trying the latest technique in herbal infusion, will draw out your unique bonding experience.  With the kind healing influence of celestial bodies, and the connected magic of the sacred herb, November will build a foundation for progress moving into future periods.Tweet

30 Oct 2021

Rank #1

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope October

My diligent stoner Capricorn, October promises to be a wonderful time period.  Even if cosmic support goes against your usual stoner directives, there will be opportunity for growth and progress.  With the connected nature of cannabis, it will be easy to float high out of your comfort zone. The studious stoner Capricorn is one of the hard working members of the stoner Zodiac.  The to-do list, and career contemplation, often creep into meditative smoke sessions.  You can’t help it, and that’s ok.  Interpersonal relationships, and the touchy-feely side of our terrestrial existence, is sometimes lost on you.  This month universal support brings balance to the sturdy stoner Sea-Goat.  Warm cosmic winds could provide new feelings closer to the heart than the pocketbook.Halloween Glass Giveaway Early in the month, toke time to prepare for unexpected smoke sessions with the extended stoner fam.  Make sure your smoke kit, and stash jar, are ready to travel.   You are a creature of habit stoner Capricorn.  Break free from the tried and true cannabis regiment.  Prepare for company during your smoke sessions in October.  Bring some variety to your cannabis offerings.  Not just new strains of the sacred herb, but ways to consume it also. After the New Moon of the 6th, the stoner Capricorn might become the magnet of the smoke circle.  Old friends forgotten, and new members of the canna-crew, will pop into your terrestrial travels unexpectedly. Toke time for your heart and your soul this month stoner Capricorn.  The to-do list will still be there when the combustion clouds lift.  There is much needed magic in sharing a joint with an old friend.  There is invigorating energy in discovering that new bud-loving buddy you didn’t know worked next door.   Inhale the calming nature of the sacred herb.  These chance encounters won’t take away from the daily grind.  Your diligence within the daily grind makes these moments possible, and all-the-more worthwhile. Tweet

29 Sep 2021

Rank #2

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope September

Stoner Capricorn the month of September sets up to be as complex as your inner machinations.  As it is tough to pin down your stoner traits on any given day, so too will it be difficult to predict universal influence in the first Fall month.Make sure your treasure chest of cannabis strains is loaded early in the month my mercurial Sea-Goat.  Flexibility within your practice of self medicating will be the key.  You will need versatility, and a breadth of cannabis varieties in your medicine cabinet.Even if it is just a bud or two, make sure to have species dominant strains, hybrids, and even CBD cannabis on hand for thoughtful selection.The situation and dosage of your sacred treasure chest selection will be up to you this month.  So long as you apply reasonable thought to each circumstance, your cannabis copilot won’t let you down.Much of the work required by universal support this month will be internal.  Consistent meditative marijuana moments will help guide you through the maze of terrestrial adventures.Members of the canna-fam will be going through their own trials and tribulations.  Communication within the broader smoke circle will be hampered by cosmic interference. Toke time with the sacred herb to look internally stoner Capricorn.  What are you in control of on this terrestrial plane?  Often frustration or anger is an outward expression of internal negativity.Don’t dwell on others.  Instead, contemplate with cannabis from a higher perspective to see how YOU can positively impact your sphere of influence.  Worry not about that which is out of your control.Stoner Capricorn, this month of internal assessment will have great benefits in the sphere of economics.  Toke time to burn a bowl and budget.  As you shake free the internal complexities of your stoner traits, you should also gaze with your third eye toward the clutter of your financial management.Before you know it, you will be ripped and ready for October.  Perhaps with a better understanding of yourself, the canna-crew, and your position within the economic grind. Tweet

29 Aug 2021

Rank #3

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope August

What a wonderful time to be a stoner Capricorn!  The final Summer month will bring blessings of opportunity and understanding to the plotting Sea-Goat.Stoner Capricorn, I understand that your primary modes are logic based, and it certainly has suited you well on our terrestrial plane.  But early in the month you will have the opportunity to dive deep into cosmic modes of thinking that you may have forced into the closet inthe past.  The sacred herb has helped you touch on esoteric concepts of spirituality, but in August your cannabis copilot will be a wonderful guide to the magic of the universe outside your terrestrial logic.  Take the plunge into yourself early in the month with a deep Indica cannabis strain.  Find a secluded smoke spot for the medicated meditative smoke session.  Allow the sacred herb to guide you on an adventure into yourself, and explore the magic of the cosmos contained within all of us.  For the brave Sea-Goat among you, perhaps an edible and a float tank would be the perfect combination for this exploratory mission.  Stoner Capricorn, the final Summer month will be blessed with positive universal influence toward exploration on the terrestrial plane as well.  This broad positive cosmic guidance will come with ease:  No instructions required!  Exploration does not necessarily mean travel, but it can.  The celestial influence will support all methods of discovery, from travel to education.  But it’s the new people you might meet along the way that will make this period last a lifetime.  Keep the deep Indica cannabis strains for the beginning of the month to enhance your solo deep dive into contemplation within.  The remainder of the month needs to find balance within your cannabis consumption.  Be sure to stock the stash box with airy Sativa cannabis strains, and even a high CBD strain like Harlequin.  The outward exploration of August will be diverse in the places you travel, and the people you meet.  Your cannabis copilot may be the rocket fuel to the internal exploration in the beginning of the month, but it should be just along for the ride for the remainder of the month.  As with all of the great explorers in history, I am sure you will make your mark in August stoner Capricorn.  I can’t help but wonder what you’ll get up to.Tweet

29 Jul 2021

Rank #4

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope July

Stoner Capricorn there is so much of your wonderful nature that is steeped in tradition and consistency.  But sometimes major steps of growth can come from breaking free from dependable routines.July will test the stoner Sea-Goat.  But this is a worthwhile exam.  Use the perspective expanding nature of the sacred herb to break out of your traditional box.  In the second Summer month, your cannabis copilot will guide you in alternative directions to arrive at new wonderful locations.Stoner Capricorn be on the look-out for opportunities in July to get out and enjoy the Summer sun.  Often the sturdy Sea-Goat may be the voice of calm and rational responsibility.  Free swinging cosmic winds will open opportunities for the stoner Capricorn to take advantage of impulsive adventures.Smokin Js online headshop now accepts Bitcoin and Ethereum.Keep your stoner go-bag packed with various cannabis strains, and all the tools for combustion away from your home base.  In past periods your canna-crew may have had to drag you out of your comfort zone to enjoy that secret stellar smoke spot.  Not this month!  Keep the gas tank full, buds loaded, and your cannabis companions on speed-dial.  This is your month to curate the cannabis adventure for the smoke circle. Breaking free of traditional habits isn’t easy stoner Capricorn.  There are two keys to matching bowls with the universe, and toke advantage of the cosmic influence in July.   First, avoid deep medicated meditative smoke sessions this month.  Seek more numerous lighter smoke sessions.  The guidance of the sacred herb will be more pronounced with frequent airy smoke sessions that keep you connected to this unusual cosmic breeze.  No couch lock, or deep introspection stoner Capricorn. Second, reach out and stay connected to the smoke circle.  The more you connect with the canna-crew, the more this universal influence will gain in confidence. You got this stoner Capricorn.  What an amazing mid Summer story you are about to write.  Be sure to take photos of your canna-buddies, and the smoke spots you combust bowls at.  The Summer sun won’t be the only thing blazin this month! Tweet

29 Jun 2021

Rank #5

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope June

Stoner Capricorn Summer is finally here. You might be tempted to light up and leave all your worries behind; especially as you see your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts appear to be living the carefree life. Unfortunately, June will not provide you the same opportunity for a go-with-the-flow attitude, at least if you want to avoid the rough rapids ahead. Flexibility and willingness to change direction will be crucial in safely navigating the uncertain cosmic currents of June. While it may not feel like it when you’re in the muck of it, there is an upside to the challenging times ahead. You will have endless opportunities to flex your creative muscles stoner Capricorn. Classics cannabis strains like Jack Herer or AK-47 will provide the catalyst for uplifting and inspiring problem-solving smoke sessions. Stoner Capricorn, with all the highs and lows, and constant flux expected this month, you can at least count on work to be a safe and peaceful haven, free from setbacks and surprises. However, this doesn’t mean you can turn on autopilot and coast through the month. Now is the time to stay on your grind, and to grow your rainy-day funds. If there is opportunity for overtime, take it stoner Capricorn; if you’re busy making it, you won’t be busy spending it. And with a little extra green in your wallet, you won’t have to feel guilty paying a little more to treat yourself to some of those top-shelf sticky strains.Stoner Capricorn, you are often the canna-buddy with kind herb and sage advice. This month you might be the one who needs encouraging words, or for a cannabis companion to offer you the first hit off a freshly packed bowl. Whatever the stars have in store for you, remember you don’t have to face it alone. Plus, it’s a lot harder to feel lost when you have a friend to puff puff pass the time with. By the middle of the month the cloudy haze will lift, and the path ahead will become more clear.  My sure-footed Sea-Goat, with renewed clarity, and a refreshed spirit, a weekend adventure is required in the second half of June. Celebrate getting your groove back with a trip to your favorite smoke spot, or hit up your most adventurous partners-in-chronic and set out to discover new ones.  You got this stoner Capricorn.  Puff the creativity, exhale the negativity.Tweet

30 May 2021

Rank #6

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope May

Stoner Capricorn many blessings will come your way from the current celestial alignment.  With positivity in your heart, and the sweet sensimilla in your lungs, you are more than capable of creating a magic adventure.  The universe will strengthen the natural traits of the sturdy Sea-Goat in May.  Warm cosmic waves will feel like subtle momentum at your back, pushing you forward with positivity and progress.  Stoner Capricorn, the rest of the stoner Zodiac are truly blessed to have you in their celestial smoke circle.  This month, you will have to trust them as they have always trusted you.There is one particular note to the cosmic push at your back that must be spoken.  Not a warning per say, but a guide post along the road of May.  There will be times that the warm waves pushing you forward in the final Spring month will feel like an unstoppable tidal force.  Prepare yourself for overwhelming moments of emotion.  Inhale the calming nature of the sacred herb, and exhale the fleeting pressure of the moment.  Pack the stash jar this month with Sativa dominant hybrid strains of the sacred herb.  Cannabis can bring us to levels of understanding and feeling, but during a universal push like what is coming, a heavy Indica species could sink the unprepared under the weight of this tidal mass.  Thus, keep a bright and airy Sativa dominant strain at the ready to keep your spiritual boat afloat in times of heavy cosmic seas.Trust stoner Capricorn.  So often you have been the safety net of security for the canna-crew.  This month there will be moments you seek refuge from the weight of the world, and solace within the canna-fam.  Unfamiliar urges to communicate your circumstance should not be guarded.  Instead, seek out your close cannabis companions to share your fears and struggles.  As you have always been there for them, they will be there for you.In the end, the progressive universal push of May will be more about understanding the perspective of the helped instead of the helper.  The bonds of companionship within the canna-crew will strengthen like a kief dusted finely rolled joint.Tweet

29 Apr 2021

Rank #7

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope April

Stoner Capricorn this April is all about letting go of negativity, toking time with the cannafam, and embarking on your next great journey. As an instinctual go-getter who appreciates predictability, these strange times are not likely jiving well with your natural energy. I know it has been difficult for you, but load the bowl, breathe deep, and relax. Complaining about your problems doesn’t make them go away, it only clouds your focus on the solution. Instead, load the stash jar, grab your favorite travel piece, and get going! My stoner Sea-Goat, the first full month of Spring begs you to spend time with your closest cannabis companions. With the help of some sweet sensimilla, and the encouragement of your canna-fam, you will be reminded of your worth on the terrestrial plane. The cosmos is offering you the opportunity to take your finger off the self-sabotage button, and make some serious decisions in your life. Toke some time early in the month for a solo meditative smoke session with the sacred herb.  Execute this contemplative smoke session before making any harsh judgement calls.  Look deep within yourself for the motivation to make these changes my stubborn Sea-Goat. Are they coming from a place of self-love or are they fear based? It’s time to blow the negativity out like you would the perfect hit from your favorite piece. It has served its purpose and no longer belongs to you. Let it go.Stoner Capricorn your work sphere requires flexibility this month. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst to rise high above the playing field to see all the pieces in play.  This cannabis infused third eyesight will help you adjust to objects and problems in motion.  Without subtle adjustments, you are doomed to repeat the same result.  Things will get better, but you have to be ready and willing to put in the effort. Own your power of manifestation stoner Capricorn. Let the cosmos, and the sacred herb guide you towards great things.  The Universe is working behind the scenes, and fully supports you in all your endeavors. Make sure your stash jar is loaded with a variety of cannabis strains this month, and be prepared for a metamorphosis of body, mind, and spirit.Tweet

29 Mar 2021

Rank #8

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope March

Stoner Capricorn, spring is finally here!  After a long winter spent tokin’ tough from the cozy comfort of your couch, the prospect of traveling somewhere further than the kitchen to cure your most recent case of the munchies seems exhilarating. The days are getting longer, the weather is heating up, but growing also is a serious case of wanderlust. Don’t feel bad stoner Capricorn, not everyone will be down to brave the crisp days of March, but some of your more adventurous cannabis companions will be ready to join you for all of your endo-excursions. Whether you head to your favorite smoke spots, or set out to discover the most undisturbed vistas, when you are with your best buds with plenty of good greens, the journey will be just as serene and smokey as reaching the final destination.Stoner Capricorn, your persistence in the workplace will result in big payoffs this month. Of course nothing is guaranteed, but you are definitely on an upward trajectory, and the sky’s the limit. Your enthusiasm and optimism will be contagious amongst your peers. But, with everyone’s energy levels elevated, it will be important to work to maintain clear and open lines of communication. Excitement can turn into tension if somebody’s intentions are misunderstood.  Even the most competent team can swing from a successful streak to suffering setbacks if everyone isn’t on the same page. Stoner Capricorn, if you are allowed to work in a 420 friendly environment, you and your coworkers should set aside time to take tokes and share notes. These cannabis infused work sessions can be a catalyst for inspiration, and a higher level of creative thought.My smoky Sea-Goat, March will remind you that home really is where the heart is. Whether you’re racking up miles on one of your many stoney adventures, or just hanging out hotboxing the living room with the canna fam, you will spread smiles to all those you encounter. While the 20th marks the official start of the new season, you don’t have to wait until then to begin your Spring cleaning. It can be something as small as a new tapestry, or a complete overhaul of your wardrobe, but you should curate your surroundings to reflect your inner workings. And for this month stoner Capricorn, you are strictly good vibes only!Tweet

26 Feb 2021

Rank #9

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Capricorn Stoner Horoscope February

Stoner Capricorn this month you should pay extra close attention to your greens, both your herbal supplies and your bank account. You may be feeling confident and content with your current resources, but unexpected expenses can burn through your stash; so make sure you are actively adding to your reserves. If you aren’t sure how to up your savings game, consult a cannabis companion whose own financial finesse you admire, and whose advice you know you can trust. It will be crucial for a successful February that you get organized in the first week of the month stoner Capricorn. Your calendar is going to fill up quickly; and once you get moving, there’s no slowing down. Schedule some alone time during the early days of the month for a solo smoke session with the sacred herb.  Even though the bud my be loud, seek quiet and calm in this medicated meditative moment.  Just you and the sweet sensimilla will help you gather your inner thoughts before you turn them into outward action.  Once you are ready to get down to the grind, seek out only those stoner sidekicks who you know can keep up with your busy pace. It will be best if you avoid those canna buddies that just want to light one up and lounge about, or who you know are prone to couchlock.Stoner Capricorn you don’t have to slow your roll, but you will need to be patient with your peers at work this month. You may be feeling extra energetic, ready to finish one project and race ahead to the next. But, not everyone will always be able to match your light speed momentum. Remember that everyone is working towards the same goals. Instead of criticizing, communicate with positivity stoner Capricorn. If someone on the team is falling behind, find out how you can help get them back on track, and ready to move up to the next level.Don’t let the whole month be all work and no play my ambitious Sea-Goat. While you should always strive for success and higher achievement, remember it’s okay to take a break. Not only does down time allow you the chance to light up a bowl of cannabis, it can be an opportunity to reflect on how far you’ve journeyed, and all the people you’ve encountered along the way. Stoner Capricorn, as long as you keep the kind buds close, and your cannabis companions even closer, every day will be another memorable page to add to your ever-stoney adventure.Tweet

30 Jan 2021

Rank #10