Cover image of New York Magazine's Sex Lives
(103)
Society & Culture
Health & Fitness

New York Magazine's Sex Lives

Updated 5 days ago

Society & Culture
Health & Fitness
Read more

A weekly podcast about sex, lust, dating, technology, coupling, porn, fetish and freakiness. But mostly sex. With New York Magazine’s sex columnist Maureen O’Connor.

Read more

A weekly podcast about sex, lust, dating, technology, coupling, porn, fetish and freakiness. But mostly sex. With New York Magazine’s sex columnist Maureen O’Connor.

iTunes Ratings

103 Ratings
Average Ratings
54
18
10
4
17

Love it!

By pleaz - May 20 2017
Read more
Love this podcast and the hosts and guests have all been amazing! So sad it will be ending soon.

Amazing

By Lostinorbit - Sep 15 2016
Read more
My favorite podcast ever!!!

iTunes Ratings

103 Ratings
Average Ratings
54
18
10
4
17

Love it!

By pleaz - May 20 2017
Read more
Love this podcast and the hosts and guests have all been amazing! So sad it will be ending soon.

Amazing

By Lostinorbit - Sep 15 2016
Read more
My favorite podcast ever!!!
Cover image of New York Magazine's Sex Lives

New York Magazine's Sex Lives

Latest release on Jun 16, 2017

Read more

A weekly podcast about sex, lust, dating, technology, coupling, porn, fetish and freakiness. But mostly sex. With New York Magazine’s sex columnist Maureen O’Connor.

Rank #1: Ep. 01: Into the Sex Box

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This week: Do happy couples masturbate? (Wait, when?) And what kind of a crazy freak show is We's sex-therapy hour Sex Box? With Alison Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. More at nymag.com.

Apr 15 2015

16mins

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Rank #2: How to Make Me Come

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This week, we go long on sexual stamina—how long is too long, how long is just right, and when did we start taking an egg-timer to bed? The answer: very recently! You know, about the time men started actually caring about women’s pleasure. We also talk about whether masturbation can ruin your dick (or vagina!) and a blog soliciting sex-instruction manuals from women. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis, and David Wallace-Wells

Sep 09 2015

26mins

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Rank #3: HERPES!!!

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Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. She writes herpes-themed erotica; she gave a TED talk about herpes; she celebrates the day she was diagnosed with herpes; and her activism on sexually-transmitted diseases earned praise from Hillary Clinton. All this, and she's only had two outbreaks— which is a pretty standard experience. Ella gets real about dating with herpes, enjoying unprotected sex, and getting her sexual education from Harry Potter fan fiction. And before you jump to judgment, remember: 2 in 3 of you have the same type of herpes that Ella has. (She has oral herpes on her genitals. Yes, it can happen.) And 1 in 5 of you has the other kind. (Ella knows a woman who gets genital herpes on her elbow.) Call 646-494-3590 to leave a voicemail for Sex Lives.

Mar 17 2017

31mins

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Rank #4: How to Make Me Come Again

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We’re joined by “Sylvia,” the anonymous creator of the blog “How to Make Me Come,” which is now a podcast as well. She tells us about the impetus to create an online compendium of real women sharing exact instructions for how to get them off, as well as her hopes that the project will help people get over their eternal fear of being honest about sex. Plus: what’s the deal with men who refuse to go down on women? With David Wallace-Wells, Maureen O’Connor, and Allison Davis.

Nov 18 2015

26mins

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Rank #5: Consider the Handjob

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This week we're joined by Mandy Stadtmiller (immediately-legendary author of "Move Over Butt Stuff, Hand Jobs Are Back") and Ben Reininga of Vocativ to give the world's least-respected sex act something like its proper due. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells

Apr 13 2016

29mins

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Rank #6: Sex and the Single 42-Year-Old Woman

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At 40, Glynnis MacNicol realized she didn't want to be a mother, and didn't need a partner. And then she discovered newly exhilarating sexual and romantic freedom: Suddenly, she was traveling the world, entertaining— and rejecting— younger paramours, Parisian flirtations, and 22-year-old cowboys everywhere she went. Now 42, Glynnis is working on a memoir and stopped by Sex Lives to tell 32-year-old host Maureen O'Connor what the next decade of life could hold. Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts.

Dec 16 2016

35mins

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Rank #7: The Facebook of Sex

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Cindy Gallop dates younger men— which is how she discovered that younger men seem to have received their sexual educations from porn. To balance the myths of hardcore porn with reality, she founded Make Love Not Porn, a video sharing network that is "pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference." As in, a social media network where people show themselves having sex... naturally. Cindy and Make Love Not Porn's chief curator, Sarah Beall, invited Sex Lives to Cindy's Manhattan apartment to explain their company, their crusade, and the joys of video voyeurism. With Maureen O'Connor.

Feb 24 2017

30mins

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Rank #8: What Can't Period Sex Tell You About Someone's Sex Life?

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Carolyn Yates joins us to talk about Autostraddle's massive recent data analysis, which found period sex to be "the ultimate lesbian sexual indicator," among many other things. We also talk about a new study about just when you hit your sexual peak, and when you're happiest in a relationship (turns out, at frustratingly different ages). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells

Mar 09 2016

25mins

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Rank #9: THE INCREDIBLE RISE OF INCEST PORN

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Last year, over the holidays, the number of searches for incest-themed videos on Pornhub and its competitors spiked dramatically, hundreds of percent in a single month, and only continued to grow all through 2015. So…what the f**k is that about? We asked Jesse Bering, author of "Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us." We also talked about other data, just released this month by PornHub, surfacing a whole new set of super-interesting proclivities (like that the Italians are really into foot fetish stuff). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.

Jan 20 2016

25mins

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Rank #10: How Do You Know It's Real?

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Sometimes, love is a private feeling between two people. Other times, it's a declaration from the rooftops, a wedding announcement, or a public kiss. For the last three years Andrea Silenzi has been broadcasting her love life— and disasters— on her podcast Why Oh Why. She recorded her first date with her most recent boyfriend, as well as fights and their heartbreaking split. But she also blurs the truth— taking a cue from inspired-by-life novelists, she blends fact with fiction and invites actors to interact with real-life guests. Silenzi discusses honesty, deception, memoir, heartbreak, and why Donald Trump ruined her orgasms. Meanwhile, host Maureen O'Connor argues that sexual truthfulness is extra important post-Trump. Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in.

Dec 02 2016

22mins

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Rank #11: Are the French Better at Sex?

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French GQ sex columnist Maia Mazaurette was Paris's answer to Carrie Bradshaw - until she came to New York, joined Tinder, and fell in love with an American. Two years later, she compares French and American attitudes towards sex, infidelity, love, and flirtation. Oh, and the French word for "French kiss"? Something about rolling tongue-shovels. Gross. With Maureen O'Connor.

Sep 15 2016

39mins

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Rank #12: Why Dating Is So Damn Awkward

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Does dating suck because you’re awkward, or are you awkward because it’s a date? Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome, explains why steeling yourself and weathering the first five minutes of awkwardness is usually worth it. “Don’t be a wallflower,” he says, meaning it literally: research shows that location is a powerful predictor of social success. But what if our love lives need awkwardness? Host Maureen O’Connor wonders if awkwardness, coded differently, is the very definition of romance. Call 646-494-3590 with cringeworthy meet-cutes and awkward sex stories.

Apr 28 2017

33mins

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Rank #13: Introducing the Threesome Matchmaker

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This week: We spend the whole episode interview the threesome matchmakers behind Threeway Dating Club—specialists in setting up no-strings three-way sex without any of the social obstacles or awkwardness, but who turn out to be themselves maybe just a bit creepier than they first let on. With Alison Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. More at thecut.com and nymag.com.

Jun 03 2015

20mins

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Rank #14: Ep. 06: Hitting the Dick Gym

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This week: Quantified kegels—where Silicon Valley self-improvement meets training for sex at your desk. A new study shows women actually masturbate to music; we offer some playlists. And we preview the opening of Tallywhackers, a Dallas-based Hooters for women with a full-pound hot dog on the menus. With Alison Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.More at thecut.com and nymag.com.

May 13 2015

26mins

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Rank #15: Nobody Needs a Magnum Condom

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Ok, maybe a few guys, but most of you are lying to yourselves, says Dr. Emily Morse. After eleven years of educating listeners on her Sex With Emily podcast, Morse discusses her own sexual education, discovering orgasm, what to do when an unnecessary magnum slips off inside your cooch, why she walks around with weighted balls in her cooch, and why Sex Lives host Maureen O'Connor is wrong about lube. (Maureen hates lube.) Call 646-494-3590 to leave a voicemail for Sex Lives.

Oct 07 2016

27mins

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Rank #16: Ep. 04: How Loud Is Too Loud?

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This week: Just how loud is too loud for fucking (and who actually complains about their neighbors’ noise levels)? Should we applaud the rise of a new generation of sex-bot sex dolls, or judge the people who love them? And how hot is it cool to make your avatar (speaking of which, what is MyIdol anyway)? With Alison Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.More at nymag.com.

Apr 29 2015

30mins

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Rank #17: Is Clean Sex Possible (or Desirable)?

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This week we grill cleanup icon Jolie Kerr (of “Ask a Clean Person”) about how to wash a sex toy, launder semen stains, slyly coverup an accident in bed, and actually a lot more. Also, the word horny: a historical debate. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.

Mar 02 2016

36mins

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Rank #18: Can I Sleep with My BFF's Ex?

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What happens when friendship and flirtation conflict? Two pairs of female BFFs discuss their overlapping love lives; what to do when you catch someone else's partner cheating; and how to stay friends with a friend who falls in love with your ex (or a friend who's just banging your ex). Vogue sex columnist Karley Sciortino and her bestie, the writer Jenna Sauers, join New York Magazine sex columnist Maureen O'Connor and her bestie Juliet Thompson.

Sep 08 2016

40mins

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Rank #19: Dan Savage's Sex Life

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He's been telling Americans how to fuck for 26 years, and he's still not done. Dan Savage reflects on his unlikely career and tells stories from his own sex life— including losing his virginity in a cosplay three-way with his brother's ex, falling in love with unattainable men, screwing up his son's "sex talk," coming out of the closet to his mother, and the gay priest who helped her understand him. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives.

May 12 2017

51mins

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Rank #20: ALL RELATIONSHIPS LEAD TO ANAL

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How did Ashley Madison build a billion-dollar casual-sex site without actually arranging any actual casual sex? We discuss the company’s insane fembot army and the pathetic gullibility of 22 million male users. Also: a new study says people in relationships bone in the butt more often. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis and David Wallace-Wells.

Sep 02 2015

22mins

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It's Not You. It's Us.

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Two years and 115 episodes later, Sex Lives calls it quits. To figure out how to end things, host Maureen O'Connor invites her original co-hosts David Wallace-Wells and Allison P. Davis back into the studio to discuss breakup etiquette and stories from favorite Sex Lives guests and listeners. Dan Savage talks about the time he dumped a guy on Thanksgiving weekend. Ask a Clean Person's Jolie Kerr ponders an ex who had mildew on his breath. A listener shares audio from a breakup announced on Facebook Live. Alyssa Shelasky tells the heartbreaking story of an ex who haunts her. Engadget's Chris Trout offers one last bon mot.Thank you for listening to Sex Lives! And for sharing your stories with us. Though I disagree with cowardly breakup ballad "Tell Me On a Sunday," you are free to listen to this podcast in a park that's covered in trees, in a zoo with chimpanzees, on any day you please. And since the Sex Lives team still works at New York Magazine, you can always subscribe to that. <3 Maureen

Jun 16 2017

36mins

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Sex in the Summer of '65

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Linda Rosenkrantz was an art-world 'it' girl when, in the summer of 1965, she started carrying a reel-to-reel tape recorder everywhere she went, recording conversations at the beach, during parties, and after S&M hookups with New York City's wildest men. Those tapes turned into her lightning-rod novel Talk in 1968— the same year that New York Magazine launched. (And devoted a spread to the bikini-clad Linda.) Fifty years later, Rosenkrantz revisits her memories of that summer— and plays never-before-heard audio from the original tapes. With Maureen O'Connor.

Jun 09 2017

30mins

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The Day Her Baby Called Her Boyfriend 'Dad'

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Alyssa Shelasky returns with an update on life as a mom who used an anonymous sperm donor to have a baby: One year later, she isn't single, anymore. Alyssa is house-hunting with the boyfriend her daughter calls "Daddy." (Not that anyone was prepared for the time she screamed "Dada!" during a silent moment in front of a crowd.) Also up for discussion: the delicate process of blending families, falling in love fast, and learning how to have sex with her bra on. (Breastfeeding changed everything.) With Maureen O'Connor.

Jun 02 2017

29mins

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Diary of a Sex Coach

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As a teenager in Louisiana, Myisha Battle learned about sex from textbooks censored with Sharpie markers. Today, she's a San Francisco-based sex coach dedicated to helping other women orgasm— and to squirt, which is an ability Myisha personally hones with pilates. Myisha explains her job, fields calls from Sex Lives listeners, and explains the wide world of orgasm in ways that confuse and shock host Maureen O'Connor.

May 26 2017

34mins

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Accio Jizzrag! All About Harry Potter Erotica

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In the horny imaginations of Harry Potter super-fans, Professor Snape is a BDSM sex god and Hermione Granger is a squirter. So say Potterotica hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman, who explore the mind-bending universe of Harry Potter erotica every week— complete with dramatic readings. They explain which magic spells are the best for sex; why nobody fantasizes about Ron Weasley; and how a tech-savvy grandmother became the steamiest Potterotica writer on the web. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives.

May 19 2017

25mins

Play

Dan Savage's Sex Life

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He's been telling Americans how to fuck for 26 years, and he's still not done. Dan Savage reflects on his unlikely career and tells stories from his own sex life— including losing his virginity in a cosplay three-way with his brother's ex, falling in love with unattainable men, screwing up his son's "sex talk," coming out of the closet to his mother, and the gay priest who helped her understand him. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives.

May 12 2017

51mins

Play

All the Feels About Gay Weddings

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Gay marriage has moved to the mainstream, but has wedding culture followed? What parts of wedding culture are worth keeping, anyway? Sex Lives assembles a panel of gay writers to discuss their personal experiences navigating the sexual politics and social minefields of getting hitched. Bon Appetit's Kurt Soller recalls debating which boyfriend should propose. Vocativ's Ben Reininga wonders whether his proposal was just a DTR. And Curve Magazine's Marcie Bianco explains why she cut to the chase and eloped— and why she announced it on Facebook before calling her mother. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in.

May 05 2017

28mins

Play

Why Dating Is So Damn Awkward

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Does dating suck because you’re awkward, or are you awkward because it’s a date? Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome, explains why steeling yourself and weathering the first five minutes of awkwardness is usually worth it. “Don’t be a wallflower,” he says, meaning it literally: research shows that location is a powerful predictor of social success. But what if our love lives need awkwardness? Host Maureen O’Connor wonders if awkwardness, coded differently, is the very definition of romance. Call 646-494-3590 with cringeworthy meet-cutes and awkward sex stories.

Apr 28 2017

33mins

Play

How to Be Married

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Jo Piazza was working as a travel editor when she met a man, married him— and spent the next year traveling to dozens of countries together, asking how marriage works in each place. She visits Sex Lives to revisit what she learned from women in Chile, Israel, Tanzania, India, France, Denmark, and beyond— and why, after discovering that she had a genetic mutation associated with muscular dystrophy, she climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro with her husband. (And competed in a rare Finnish sport called "wife-carrying.") Piazza's book, "How to be Married: What I Learned from Real Women on Five Continents About Surviving My First (Really Hard) Year of Marriage," is in bookstores now. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts.

Apr 21 2017

27mins

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The Dangers of a Too-Clean Dick

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A listener calls Sex Lives with a harrowing story about accidentally destroying her husband's penis with Lysol, and Maureen enlists Ask a Clean Person columnist Jolie Kerr to help her sort out the ensuing mess. Also up for discussion: sex stains, masturbation messes, sexual etiquette for houseguests, and a theory about why Oscar the Grouch would make a great husband? To leave a voice message for Sex Lives, call 646-494-3590.

Apr 14 2017

24mins

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Botox for Buttholes

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Yes, it's a thing. Brian J. Moylan reports from the wild world of cosmetic procedures for male sex organs, starting with the time he cryonically froze his penis. (The shrinkage was intense.) He also introduces us to the growing field of "anal rejuvenation," which includes laser therapy, plastic surgery, Botox, bleaching, tightening, and loosening. All of which raises the question: What makes a butthole beautiful, anyway? Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in with a voice message.

Apr 07 2017

28mins

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Is it OK to Take an Uber While Giving Birth?

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E.J. Dickson, who last visited Sex Lives while pregnant, returns with her two-month-old baby in tow. She recounts taking an Uber to the hospital while her water was breaking, and feeling her uterus lifted out of her body during the C-section. Demanding a shot of whiskey after returning from the hospital, and giving up on breastfeeding. Watching her son be circumcised by a rabbi, and then tossing his foreskin out with the trash. Motherhood is wild. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives.

Mar 31 2017

28mins

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The Dating Tour of America

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Where is the best place in America to fall in love? When Cosmopolitan asked Jada Yuan to find out, she flew to six wildly different locales (and her hometown of New York) to look for love in every damn place. She came away exhausted—and more optimistic than ever. From the small-town romantics of South Carolina, to the shirtless male models of Los Angeles, to the kinky dairy farmers of South Dakota, to making out in cars in Detroit, these are her stories. Leave a voicemail about your hometown’s dating scene by calling 646-494-3590.

Mar 24 2017

42mins

Play

HERPES!!!

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Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. She writes herpes-themed erotica; she gave a TED talk about herpes; she celebrates the day she was diagnosed with herpes; and her activism on sexually-transmitted diseases earned praise from Hillary Clinton. All this, and she's only had two outbreaks— which is a pretty standard experience. Ella gets real about dating with herpes, enjoying unprotected sex, and getting her sexual education from Harry Potter fan fiction. And before you jump to judgment, remember: 2 in 3 of you have the same type of herpes that Ella has. (She has oral herpes on her genitals. Yes, it can happen.) And 1 in 5 of you has the other kind. (Ella knows a woman who gets genital herpes on her elbow.) Call 646-494-3590 to leave a voicemail for Sex Lives.

Mar 17 2017

31mins

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She Quit Law School to Write Erotica

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Rachel Kramer-Bussel was a law student in the late '90s when an erotic fantasy about Monica Lewinsky changed her life— by inspiring her to drop everything and pursue a career in erotic literature. Today, Kramer-Bussel has written or edited more than erotica books, including the annual Best Women's Erotica of the Year anthology. With a new volume in stores, Rachel visits Sex Lives to talk about her weirdest fantasies; what she's learned from two decades in the erotica business; and the terrors of Donald Trump erotica. Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts.

Mar 10 2017

23mins

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Virtual Reality Porn Is Killing Boners

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Host Maureen O'Connor tries VR porn for the first time and is horrified. She's not the only one— the technical demands of the new medium has male performers struggling to stay turned on, too. But here's the weirdest part: VR porn fans aren't that into the hardcore stuff. They just want to cuddle with their virtual porn-star girlfriends. Vocativ senior staff writer Tracy Clark-Flory explains how virtual reality is changing the very nature of pornography. Call 646-494-3590 to join the conversation.

Mar 03 2017

26mins

Play

The Facebook of Sex

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Cindy Gallop dates younger men— which is how she discovered that younger men seem to have received their sexual educations from porn. To balance the myths of hardcore porn with reality, she founded Make Love Not Porn, a video sharing network that is "pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference." As in, a social media network where people show themselves having sex... naturally. Cindy and Make Love Not Porn's chief curator, Sarah Beall, invited Sex Lives to Cindy's Manhattan apartment to explain their company, their crusade, and the joys of video voyeurism. With Maureen O'Connor.

Feb 24 2017

30mins

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The Invention of Safe Sex

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“Every relationship can be based on love, even if it lasts only fifteen minutes.” That’s one of the beliefs that drove a movement to reinvent America’s understanding of sex, civic responsibility, and social welfare in the 1980s, says David France, director of AIDS activism documentary How to Survive a Plague.With a new era of activism emerging today, France revisits the hope and heartbreak of his youth during the AIDS crisis— and offers lessons from his generation’s hard-won victories. With Maureen O’Connor.How to Survive a Plague will be screened at New York’s IFC Center on President’s Day, followed by a Q&A with David France. Visit IFCCenter.com for details. Questions, comments, complaints? Leave voicemail for Sex Lives at 646-494-3590.

Feb 17 2017

36mins

Play

How to Flirt on Snapchat (and Every Other App)

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"You can't play it cool on Snapchat," says Priscilla Pine. And that's why it's the best for flirting. The pseudonymous technology-first sex writer came on Sex Lives to explain the different flirtation techniques each app on your phone requires— and the surreptitious information you can glean. Also up for discussion: when to save sex for the morning after; when to have sex before the date; the art of the Instagram "deep like"; and what technology can teach us about love— like the side-eye emoji, which on Snapchat describes a one-way relationship. Are you the side-eye in your relationship? What are your all-time digital flirtation best-hits? Call 646-494-3590 with your stories.

Feb 10 2017

23mins

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What It's Like to Be 'a Little Bit Pregnant'

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"I think it's a myth that you can't be a little bit pregnant because I've been a little bit pregnant for about six years," says Andrea Syrtash, founder of the Pregnantish.com. She explains: to be "a little bit pregnant," or pregnant-ish, is to be in a perpetual state of pregnant anticipation— as in, going through fertility treatment. Her new website is about the trials, tribulations, and weird-ass sex you have when you switch from lovemaking to baby-making. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 with your stories.

Feb 03 2017

16mins

Play

iTunes Ratings

103 Ratings
Average Ratings
54
18
10
4
17

Love it!

By pleaz - May 20 2017
Read more
Love this podcast and the hosts and guests have all been amazing! So sad it will be ending soon.

Amazing

By Lostinorbit - Sep 15 2016
Read more
My favorite podcast ever!!!