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Kids & Family

Parent Cue Live

Updated 2 days ago

Kids & Family
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Be the parent you want to be.

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Be the parent you want to be.

iTunes Ratings

136 Ratings
Average Ratings
117
10
7
1
1

A must-listen for all parents!

By Aunt Ray-Ray - Mar 30 2019
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Great content for parents of children of all ages!

Really great stuff

By brittanycalifornia - Jul 14 2018
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Great tips for me as a parent! Keep them coming.

iTunes Ratings

136 Ratings
Average Ratings
117
10
7
1
1

A must-listen for all parents!

By Aunt Ray-Ray - Mar 30 2019
Read more
Great content for parents of children of all ages!

Really great stuff

By brittanycalifornia - Jul 14 2018
Read more
Great tips for me as a parent! Keep them coming.

Listen to:

Cover image of Parent Cue Live

Parent Cue Live

Updated 2 days ago

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Be the parent you want to be.

PCL 84: How to Raise Motivated Kids

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YOUR CUE

  • Communicate your family’s values. Your kids can begin to shift from extrinsic motivators to intrinsic ones when you, as a parent, communicate why the task or behavior is important to the family as a whole. When a kid understands they’re a part of something bigger than themselves, your family’s value system becomes their personal value system.

  • Get to know your kids. One of your kids may be extrinsically motivated while the other naturally leans toward intrinsic motivation. Know who your kids are at their core, and it’ll help you tailor how you approach this whole motivation thing. One of your kids may be motivated by things, while the other is motivated by fun and quality time. Notice the differences and act accordingly.

  • Focus on the season you’re in and prioritize accordingly. Ask yourself, “Why am I hyper-focused on my child completing this particular task I’m asking them to do?” Sometimes, we’ll find our requests are selfishly motivated. Take a step back and away from perfection and focus on one thing you can do this week or month to help nurture motivation in your kids.

EPISODE RECAP

As parents, we all want to raise motivated kids who will one day grow up to be adults with great work ethics and values. Sometimes, however, we do things that undermine the ultimate goal of having motivated kids by focusing on short-term outcomes.

On today’s episode, we hear from Dan Scott, a father of four, ranging from high schoolers to an elementary-aged child. Together with our podcast host, Kristen Ivy, the two share their personal stories on what it’s like to motivate kids in the preschool, elementary, middle school, and high school phases. They also discuss how to encourage healthy habits in kids (and discourage unhealthy ones), and how parents should be aware that our hyper-focused requests for that loaded dishwasher or cleaned bedroom to be done perfectly may actually be detrimental to our kids’ motivation growth.

Even more, they answer questions such as:

  • How do I help my kids move from extrinsic motivation (money and other reward-based prizes) to becoming more intrinsically motivated?
  • How do I fairly motivate kids who have different personality types?
  • What are the types of motivators and how can I use them to help my kid grow?

We can’t wait for you to dive into this subject with us. If you found after listening to the podcast that you’ve got another question about parenting, we want to hear it! Click here to ask your question and you might hear it answered on the podcast.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Dan ScottDrive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates UsThe 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children EffectivelyThe 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively

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“Parents, ask yourselves, “Am I motivating my child in the moment for my own sake? Or do I have a long-range perspective?” —@kristen_ivy
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“Fun is a motivator for all kids.” —@danscott77 
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“Parents, ask yourselves, “What’s the one thing I want my kids to be motivated to do in this season?” —@kristen_ivy
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The post PCL 84: How to Raise Motivated Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

Sep 20 2018

32mins

Play

PCL 47: How To Parent A Strong-Willed Child

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How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Sarah Bragg, a content director at Orange who has worked in student ministry for more than 15 years, shares her honest, heartfelt experience in parenting a strong-willed child in today’s episode.

YOUR CUE

  • Notice the good in your child, think of three things you’re grateful for in them, and recall the good memories you have with them to help make the phase a bit easier to handle.
  • Learn how to read your child and understand the ways your child perceives love from you and do them.
  • Remember who you are throughout the difficult journey of parenthood. Make self-care a priority and take time to recharge so you can be a better parent.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Listen to Sarah's Podcast

EPISODE RECAP

There aren’t many words that fully describe what it’s like parenting a strong-willed child.

Difficult? Of course.
Infuriating? Always.
Isolating? Surprisingly so.

As a parent of a child who often argues every decision and pushes your every button, you’ve likely felt overwhelmed by the day-to-day tasks that lay ahead each day. How do you show love to a child who makes your life so hard? How do you parent with wisdom and grace when all you want to do is retreat to a silent place with your drink of choice in your hand?

Naturally unequipped

Sarah Bragg knows all too well the struggle of parenting a child with a difficult personality. The mother of two daughters, nine and seven, remembers being the perfect parent before her kids were born.

Once they arrived, that all changed. She was surprised by how unequipped she was to handle the difficulties of a child, her oldest, who seemed hard to parent from birth. She was angry at her daughter, angry at herself, and angry at all the parenting books that boasted easy solutions.

“Even when I gain little bits of wisdom about who she is, parenting is still hard,” Sarah says. “I fail way more than I succeed.”

The comparison trap in parenting

Sarah found herself, like many of us do, comparing her child and parenting styles to others. She started to gain her identity based on how her child would behave. She started thinking she wasn’t worthy, that she wasn’t enough, that she was a bad parent.

(Does this sound familiar?)

When these thoughts take hold, Sarah encourages parents to stop and notice the good in your child. She also suggests you remember the times when parenting wasn’t difficult, and remind yourself no matter how long this phase lasts, it truly is temporary.

How to keep your sanity

Remembering who you are, Sarah says, is the key to staying grounded when parenting is particularly difficult. Find the parts of you that make you special and do things that feed that side of you. Go on date nights, take quiet time to recharge, step away, even if for a little bit. Retrain the voice in your head to not respond to the guilt and shame of negative self-talk.

Most of all, be encouraged that you are not alone in parenting a strong-willed child — there are so many like you experiencing the same things you are now. Find them, seek comfort in them, and know you are just what your child needs.

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Two of the most powerful words in the English language are, “Me, too.” – @sarahwbragg
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“No matter how long this phase is…it’s still just a phase.” – @sarahwbragg
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“Comparison is the thief that robs the joy out of parenting.” – @sarahwbragg
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The post PCL 47: How To Parent A Strong-Willed Child appeared first on Parent Cue.

Oct 19 2017

33mins

Play

PCL 49: How To Pass On Big Faith To Our Kids

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How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Louie Giglio, pastor of Passion City Church in Atlanta, GA, joins us on today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live Podcast to talk about how parents can share a big faith in a big God with their kids.

YOUR CUE

  • Focus on one big idea for the month to reinforce your faith in God. Invite your children into the process of something you’ve been bringing to God. Pray together and talk about ways God is working on that big idea or challenge.
  • Be in awe of God. Your children are watching and learning by the things you do. Show them your wonder of God and how big He is.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Buy "Indescribable: 100 Devotions for Kids About God and Science"

EPISODE RECAP

As Christian parents, we often have an added sense of weight on our shoulders in the upbringing of our children. Not only do we have to worry about our kids’ mental, physical, and emotional development, we also have the added challenge of nurturing the growth of our children’s faith. Overwhelming, right?

But Louie Giglio challenges us to think about this responsibility from a new angle: Instead of focusing on educating your children on the vastness of God, why not show them instead?

Kids rarely remember what their parents teach them, but they hardly forget what they see their parents do. It’s the tiny moments kids observe in the lives of their parents, Louie says, that will matter most to them as they grow older. Your challenge now is to show them your awe of the bigness of God right where you are — whether you’re in the carpool line or in your home office.

Living out our faith as parents, the good and the bad parts, will reinforce in our children that perfect parents on Earth don’t exist, but we have a perfect Father Who sees them, Who knows them, and Who desires to have a personal relationship with them.

To help grow kids’ faith and bridge the gap between God and science, Louie has written a devotional, Indescribable: 100 Devotions For Kids About God And Science. The book combines two of Louie’s popular messages, “Indescribable” and “How Great Is Our God” to reveal the the majesty of God’s creation with scientific findings, photos, and illustrations. We’ll be giving away one copy of the devotional to one lucky winner. Head over to our Instagram account to learn how to enter!

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“The memory may be even more important than the lesson.” — @louiegiglio
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God is knowable. He’s approachable. He’s someone you can have a relationship with.
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“You don’t have big faith unless there’s a big God.” — @louiegiglio
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The post PCL 49: How To Pass On Big Faith To Our Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

Nov 02 2017

32mins

Play

PCL 59: How To Talk To Your Younger Child

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Sarah Jensen, founder and educator of KIPP Memphis Preparatory Elementary School, shares her insight on how to effectively and supportively communicate with younger children in today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

YOUR CUE

  • Remember your kids are learning in every moment. You’ve had your chance to learn and form your own opinions, now it’s their turn. Your kid has only been on this planet for a few months, so they’re processing absolutely every experience. Give them the space to explore.
  • Take a step back and put yourself in their world. You might think you have the answer to the current problem, but your answer is likely one of many alternatives. Get on your kid’s level and try to see the experience from their view. In this way, you honor their feelings and they feel heard and supported.
  • Experience everything with your child. Instead of focusing on doing things for your child, try doing things with him or her instead. Be curious about them and play with them. Try to meet them where they are as much as possible.

EPISODE RECAP

Trying to communicate with your toddler or preschool-aged child often feels like running full speed into a brick wall, backing up, and doing it all over again. You want so desperately for them to understand the feelings they’re experiencing aren’t that big of a deal, but in the end, your kid’s even more frustrated and you find yourself looking at the clock wishing it was bedtime already.

What if we told you there was a way to not only communicate with your young child but also eliminate some of the frustration that comes along with getting through to them? You only need a few tools in your parenting arsenal to tackle this mission and the main one? Changing your perspective.

Managing your expectations

The way Sarah Jensen, founder and educator of KIPP Memphis Preparatory Elementary School, talks to and understands kids is nothing short of magical. She says the key to not losing your mind while trying to better communicate with your kid is to remind yourself they’re learning in every moment. It’s easy for parents to forget our children have only been on the planet for a few months, so they’re bound to react in a way we deem unnecessary. Instead, we should change our expectations of them.

And what about those times when our kid flings themselves to the floor in a fit of rage in the middle of Target and your reaction to their tantrum is more #parentingfail than #parentgoals? Sarah says we should look at these reactions from our kids as a good sign — they’re communicating with us (albeit loudly), which we should view as healthy and constructive.

Also in this episode, Sarah gives tips on how to communicate effectively while maintaining discipline, what common mistakes parents make when communicating with their kids, and how to build your child’s vocabulary so you can understand each other better. Tune in!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

KIPP Memphis Preparatory Elementary

Find out more

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

Kids are brand new social beings who are learning in every moment.
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For a child, your voice will likely become their inner dialogue.
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“The way you speak to them is the way they’ll learn to talk to themselves, the way they’ll learn to talk to their future partner, the way they’ll talk to their best friend, and it’s the way they’ll make a friend.” —Sarah Jensen

The post PCL 59: How To Talk To Your Younger Child appeared first on Parent Cue.

Feb 01 2018

34mins

Play

PCL 39: Parenting Boys During the Middle School Years – What To Know and What To Do

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Jeff Henderson, lead pastor of Atlanta-area Gwinnett Church joins us to talk about how parenting boys during the middle school years, ages 11-14, is critical to establishing a sense of self-worth and confidence.

How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

YOUR CUE

  • Look for ways to encourage your child and tell them how much you believe in them.
  • Pay attention to clues of God’s will in your child’s life and make them aware of those clues.
  • Before the middle school years arrive, make mental notes of other adults you want to influence your child’s life.

WIN A CHAMPION TRIBES KIT

This giveaway is now closed, but if you’d like to find out more about Champion Tribes visit their website, championtribes.com, or you can email Jeff directly at jeff@championtribes.com.

Email Jeff

EPISODE RECAP

  • The middle years, ages 11-14, is a critical time in a child’s life because according to research, he or she is growing up faster due to technology. Children are seeing and experiencing more — instead of learning life’s lessons from older siblings, they’re learning from Google and social media.
  • If a parent lets this phase slip by without being intentional about it, they’ll see the effects during the high school years.
  • Parents must be intentional to seize opportunities, create moments, and leverage conversations with their middle schoolers.
  • If a son does not receive affirmation from his dad, he’ll grow up seeking affirmation in all of the wrong places.
  • A young man can start living from their father’s affirmation instead of for their father’s affirmation. This creates a grounding force in a man’s life.
  • When Jeff’s son, Cole, was a middle schooler, Jeff and his friend, David Salyers, created the Champion Tribes, a group-based program consisting of five to seven dads with sons between the ages of 11-14. The program exists to help fathers lean into this critical developmental stage, guiding fathers through important conversations about confidence, humility, financial freedom, etc. The program includes a Champion Kit, which includes gifts that reinforce important lessons, and an app.
  • There needs to be a moment in time when a young man can look back on a time he received his father’s affirmation.
  • You can improve the world one father and son at a time if fathers affirm their sons consistently.

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

During the middle school years, a parent’s role shifts from caretaker to coach.
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Giving your child a tribe anchors them and gives them a sense of belonging.
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What you view online shapes you offline.
Click To Tweet

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

Buy A Champion KitThe Phase Guides

The post PCL 39: Parenting Boys During the Middle School Years – What To Know and What To Do appeared first on Parent Cue.

Aug 17 2017

35mins

Play

Best Of PCL: Discovering Your Child’s Love Language

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

YOUR CUE

  • Observe your kids. Take some time this week to pay close attention, ask questions, and begin to discover your child’s love language.  Then do something intentional to communicate love in the language they understand best.
  • Check in on your kids regularly. Ask your kids this question, “On a scale of one to 10, how full is your love tank? What can I do to help fill it?”
  • Wrap discipline in your child’s love language. Your child will receive your discipline better when they understand they are loved. When disciplining your child, make sure to use that opportunity to still show them love in the way they understand.

EPISODE RECAP

It’s likely most of us have heard about Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, and some of us would dare to reveal its contents helped save our marriages. So naturally, being a podcast to help parents do life better with our kids, we’d jump at the chance to talk to Dr. Chapman about how we can extend that knowledge loving our kids better.

All of our kids experience and show love differently, and for families with multiple kids, it’s likely one kid has a way of understanding love that is different from their sibling. As parents, it’s easy — and sometimes safer — to treat all of our kids the same way, but Dr. Chapman says it’s imperative parents communicate love in the specific way their child understands it.

“The question is not, ‘Do you love your children?’ The question is, ‘Do your children feel loved?” Dr. Chapman asks.

The five ways children and adults interpret love fall into these five categories (or love languages):

  • Words of affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Quality Time
  • Physical touch

In today’s episode, Dr. Chapman shares how parents can discover what their child’s love language is, how to discipline while using your kid’s love language, and what parents have to lose if they don’t start showing their kids love in the way they understand it.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The 5 Love LanguagesThe 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children EffectivelyA Perfect Pet for Peyton: A 5 Love Languages Discovery BookA Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages: How to Understand Yourself and Improve All Your Relationships

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“It’s exceedingly important as parents that we learn to keep the love tank full and that will help our child feel love — that will help them process the rest of life much better.” —@DrGaryChapman
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“If a child feels loved by their parent, they are far more open to their correction and discipline.” —@DrGaryChapman
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“The question is not, ‘Do you love your children?’ The question is, ‘Do your children feel loved?’ —@DrGaryChapman
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“What your kids request of you most often will give you insight into their love language.” —@DrGaryChapman
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The post Best Of PCL: Discovering Your Child’s Love Language appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jul 05 2018

32mins

Play

PCL 36: It’s Just A Phase

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Kristen Ivy, co-founder of the Phase project, guides parents through the phases of a kids life with ideas on how to understand kids in the stage they are in, how to give them what they need now, and how to navigate the critical issues they will face.

How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

The Phase Guides Series

Download Free Phase Printables

The Parent Cue App

iTunes  |  Android

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Don’t accidentally parent your kids. Parent on purpose. #justaphase
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The post PCL 36: It’s Just A Phase appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jul 06 2017

34mins

Play

PCL 32: Getting Ready for Graduation

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No matter where you are on the parenting spectrum, looking ahead to graduation can invoke anxiety and concern. Brad Griffin, Assistant Director of the Fuller Youth Institute, helps ease the tension with some thoughts on how to step into graduation with a plan over the next few weeks (or even the next few years.) He gives some practical insights on managing the stress, easing your kids into adulthood, and shifting your parental role.

How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

YOUR CUE

This week, schedule a time to sit down to do something you enjoy together and start a conversation about what the transition of graduation looks like. Don’t start with your list of expectations, but ask them to share their hopes for the future and the future of your relationship.

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

Download the Conversation Guide for Graduates

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Trust in the investment you’ve made, but trust your kids more in this phase.
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After graduation, our role as a parent shifts from coach to consultant.
Click To Tweet

Research suggests your relationship gets better with your young adult in the phase after graduation.
Click To Tweet

The post PCL 32: Getting Ready for Graduation appeared first on Parent Cue.

May 11 2017

29mins

Play

PCL 33: Parenting Your Emerging Adult

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Steve Argue, assistant professor of youth, family, and culture at Fuller Theological Seminary, an applied research strategist with the Fuller Youth Institute, and dad of 3 girls, talks with us about how to parent an emerging adult, those between the ages of 18-30. The age when most young adults are experiencing unprecedented freedom and pressure. He talks through what issues they’re facing and what they need most from their parents.

How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Parenting is courageous and improvisational. There’s no formula and it requires constant change.
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According to @pewresearch, 30% of emerging adults live at home with their parents.
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Emerging adults need parents who listen more than they give answers.
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The post PCL 33: Parenting Your Emerging Adult appeared first on Parent Cue.

May 25 2017

40mins

Play

Best Of PCL: Six Gifts Every Kid Needs

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Reggie Joiner, founder and CEO of The reThink Group, joins hosts, Carlos Whittaker and Kristen Ivy, to talk about six gifts every child needs to feel loved, gain perspective, and be successful in today’s Best Of Parent Cue Live podcast episode.

YOUR CUE

  • Choose one way to love your kids better this week. You probably already do some of the six gifts mentioned, but there are likely areas where you can improve. Choose just one to focus on this week.
  • Make sure you prioritize joy in your house. Playing with your kids shows them you like them. Make sure to have some undistracted fun with them this week! You’ll increase your connection with them when you enjoy spending time with them in recreational companionship.
  • Find another adult you trust to speak into your child’s life. Depending on your kid’s age, you’re probably the last person they want to gain wisdom from. Find another adult you trust to speak the same wisdom you would to your child and ask them to be consistent in your child’s life.

EPISODE RECAP

Given the title of this podcast alone, you probably rolled your eyes thinking, “Great! Let me add six more things to the already growing list of things I’m not doing well as a parent.”

But before you click away from this podcast, let us ease your mind — you’re likely already doing some of these six things with your kids on a daily basis. With intentionality and consistency, you’ll start noticing positive changes in your kids week after week. Even more, these six things, over time, will prove time and time again to your children that they matter not only to you, but to God.

“Ultimately as a parent, we want you to know the ordinary things you do make a difference. You are making history,” Reggie Joiner shares.

The six gifts are:

  • Love
  • Words
  • Stories
  • Fun
  • Work
  • Tribes

To learn the details of how each one of these gifts will give your kids a sense of belonging, hope, and perspective, tune in to this week’s Best Of Parent Cue Live podcast episode!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Playing For KeepsJ.K. RowlingGrowing Young

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“The ordinary things you do make a difference. You are making history.” —@reggiejoiner
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“The more words you know, the bigger dreams you can imagine.” —@kristen_ivy
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“The words you speak to a kid shape the way they view themselves.” —@kristen_ivy
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“Kids don’t believe you like them if you don’t play with them” —@reggiejoiner
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The post Best Of PCL: Six Gifts Every Kid Needs appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jul 12 2018

35mins

Play

PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Lifetime Television’s, “America’s Supernanny,” Dr. Deborah Tillman, talks with host, Kristen Ivy, about the skills parents should nurture in their kids to help foster their self-reliance skills.

YOUR CUE

  • Let your kid lose. When our kids are younger, we think it’s cute to let them win games most of the time. Stop doing this. Your kid needs to know there are times they will win, and times they will lose. When your child loses while you’re around, you can help them process these emotions in a constructive, mature (for their age) way. If they don’t ever lose, they’ll always expect to win, which doesn’t happen in real life.
  • Let it go. Release the notion that perfection is right around the corner. It’s not. Allow your kids to do the tasks you want them to do on their own one day, even if it’s not done to your standards. They’re practicing, and practicing leads to growth. Allow your kids to be who they are while they’re learning.
  • Start a gratitude journal. We can think of hundreds of things we’ve done wrong in our lifetimes, but rarely do we celebrate the good things we’ve done. Dr. Tillman suggests parents start a gratitude journal and write down all the things you did well that day. She says when you reflect on the things you do well, you’re bound to repeat them.

EPISODE RECAP

It’s natural for parents to want to protect their children from harm, whether it be from physical, emotional, or relational pain. But too much protection can lead us to raising our kids in the opposite way we truly desire, and if left unchecked, an abundance of protection can cause a lack of self confidence and an inability to handle adversity in our kids.

Dr. Deborah Tillman, a child development and parent educator, and Lifetime’s “America’s Supernanny” has seen countless cases where parents thought they were being a good parent by overly cushioning their children’s fall (even she says she fell victim to this with her now 25-year-old son). She strongly discourages this, in fact, she says parents should let their children fail more. When a child does something on their own, even if they fail, it’s a chance for them to learn and grow.

Now, for the perfectionist parent, this advice will likely cause a mild spasm of some kind—the age-old adage, “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” is a motto most perfectionists live by. Do it to your own detriment, Dr. Tillman warns. Many times, your kids’ growth starts with an inward look at yourself and some self reflection on why you view parenthood the way you do and if that view is indeed what’s best for your child.

Today’s episode is full of helpful—and at times, convicting—advice to help you better parent your child and increase their self reliance. Tune in!

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

A Perfect Pet for Peyton: A 5 Love Languages Discovery Book

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Self-reliant kids are responsible, can problem solve, and can independently think.” @DeborahLTillman
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“We can show our children the way, but we must allow them to be who they are created to be.” @DeborahLTillman
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It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” Frederick Douglass
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Time to a child is spelled, “L-O-V-E.”  —@DeborahLTillman
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The post PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

Sep 13 2018

30mins

Play

PCL 67: How to Help Your Kids Resolve Conflict

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Founder and CEO of The reThink Group, Reggie Joiner, joins hosts Kristen Ivy and Carlos Whittaker to discuss how to help kids resolve conflict properly in today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

YOUR CUE

  • Talk about difficult issues in a non-confrontational setting. Sometimes tough conversations are better received when they’re not happening in a formal setting. Create a moment or environment to have this conversation during a car ride, a bike ride, or a hike.Write it down. Encourage your kids to write down what they’re thinking, especially if they’re not very verbal. Sometimes kids (and adults, too) find it easier to express themselves in ways other than talking.Learn to ask the right kinds of questions. The right kinds of questions give your child the freedom to express themselves. Asking questions such as, “What did I do to make you feel that way?” and “Are there things you wish were different that we can work on together?” show you are considering their feelings.

EPISODE RECAP

As much as we’d like to enclose our kids in a protective bubble and keep them away from all conflict, the reality is, we can’t do that. Conflict is a very real part of life and it’s something kids experience quite early.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to equip our kids with the life skills to handle life’s challenges properly. One of the most important lessons we can teach our kids, then, is how to resolve conflict well. If you think about it, poor conflict resolution is at the heart of many adult issues. If we teach our kids to resolve conflict in a peaceful way now, we could help them avoid some big heartache later on.

The important key to conflict resolution

Before we go any further, know one thing: Conflict is healthy. Now, most of us might cringe at the thought of something so uncomfortable being healthy based on our past experiences, however, it’s important for you to embrace this idea when approaching the topic with kids.

Now that we’ve embraced the healthiness of conflict, let’s dive right in: How in the world are we supposed to help our kids handle conflict well?

The first step is teaching our kids how to listen. There’s an old phrase that says, “We have two ears and just one mouth for a reason.”

“The power of listening could be a key in how we resolve conflict and that’s going to be learned first at home with a parent,” Reggie Joiner says.

Intentional listening is what parents should aim for. This means you’re not formulating a rebuttal in your mind when your kid is talking, but truly listening to them instead. If your child is having trouble expressing himself or herself, maybe that’s a cue that you need to switch up the environment, having the important conversation during a car ride or a hike, or ask them to express their feelings through writing or drawing a picture (for younger kids). When your child feels heard by you, you are creating a safe space for them to keep the conversation going.

Tune into the podcast to hear even more helpful tips and pieces of wisdom about conflict resolution from Reggie, Kristen Ivy, and Carlos Whittaker.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Kill The Spider by Carlos Whittaker

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

““If our kids don’t learn how to do conflict resolution, they’re going to grow up with a long list of broken relationships.” —@kristen_ivy
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““The power of listening could be key in how to resolve conflict and that’s learned first at home with a parent.” —@reggiejoiner
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“The definition of peace is proving you care about each other more than winning the argument.” —@reggiejoiner
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“Fun authenticates forgiveness.”—@reggiejoiner
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The post PCL 67: How to Help Your Kids Resolve Conflict appeared first on Parent Cue.

Mar 29 2018

29mins

Play

PCL 93: When is the Right Time to Give My Kid a Cell Phone?

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YOUR CUE

Think preparedness over protection. Maintain the mindset that you’re preparing your child for technology versus protecting them from it. One day soon, your child will have free reign of technology without your guidance. You want to make sure your child is mature enough to handle that responsibility when they’re not with you. Have conversations with your kid about the good and bad sides of technology, and how its use (and overuse) can impact their lives..

EPISODE RECAP

The truth is, our kids will never know a world without technology in it, and at the heart of this constantly connected, ever-evolving world is the cell phone.

For some of us, the idea of giving our kids a cell phone seems a ways off, but the time is coming faster than you think. These days, kids are getting phones earlier and earlier, and with busy school and extracurricular schedules, sometimes a cell phone seems to be the only way parents can keep everything together.

So this week, we’re talking specifically about cell phones and how to introduce them to your kids (And here’s a hint: You need a plan). When you give your kid a cell phone, everything changes and some important conversations need to be had in hopes your children handle this new responsibility with maturity. With a phone in their hands, our kids’ worlds instantly expand, letting in the good and not so good parts we’ve tried to shelter them from.

Today, we hear the wisdom of Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute, and Tom Shefchunas, a former coach, teacher, and principal who has worked with students for more than 20 years. Kara talks to listeners about her personal experience of when she and her husband gave their kids a cell phone, the boundaries they set around its use, and the good sides and downsides of introducing a new cell phone user into the family. Tom gives us his perspective on cell phones as a dad and someone who has led middle schoolers during the height of smartphone usage, how to prepare yourself as a parent as you enter this new phase, and signs to look for to know if your child is ready for the responsibility of a cell phone.

If you’re in the stage right now with your kids, you’ll want to take a listen to this week’s episode, and if you’re not quite there yet, grab your pen and notebook and get ready to take some notes — you’ll be here sooner than you think!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Did you enjoy this episode? Help us spread the word!

Hopefully, this episode has helped you find a few practical ways to “do family better.” If you appreciated it, we would love for you to rate or review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Your rating and review help get the podcast in front of new parents and listeners. You can also click the buttons below to share this episode on your own social media channels. Thank you for listening!

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The post PCL 93: When is the Right Time to Give My Kid a Cell Phone? appeared first on Parent Cue.

Nov 29 2018

31mins

Play

Best Of PCL: Helping Kids Cope With Anxiety

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Dr. Chinwe Williams, a licensed professional counselor, shares ways to identify signs of anxiety and how to help your kids through their experience with it in today’s Best Of Parent Cue Live episode with hosts, Carlos Whittaker and Kristen Ivy.

YOUR CUE

  • Adopt the perspective of your child. Your child’s experience is very real to them. When they’re feeling anxious and afraid, try to see through their eyes what’s happening around them. This way, they’ll feel your attempt to understand them.
  • Acknowledge your kid’s anxiety. We live in a fast-paced world, and often there is a lot of change associated with its pace. When your kid is feeling anxious, acknowledge their feelings and take them seriously. This will help build their coping skills and resilience.
  • Have a conversation. If you know a potential scary situation is on the horizon for your kids, prepare in advance to have that conversation with them, asking how they’re feeling about what’s coming, whether nervous or excited. For less verbal kids, ask them to draw a picture of how they’re feeling.

EPISODE RECAP

As parents, it’s easy for us to dismiss our kids when they show signs of anxiety — their lives are close to perfect. What do they need to worry about?

But in today’s episode with Dr. Chinwe Williams, a licensed professional counselor who works with both adults and adolescents, we learn how detrimental it can be to not take our kids’ feelings seriously.

What anxiety looks like and what we can do

Anxiety can show itself in our kids in a variety of ways depending on their ages, but some of the signs to look for include a loss in interest in normal activities, a change in eating habits, irritability, stomach pain, and angry outbursts. If ignored, kids can feel alone and shame.

Want to know how to parent well during seasons of inevitable stress and anxiety in your kids? The No. 1 thing you can do is acknowledge your child’s experience and put yourself in their place, attempting to see what’s happening through their eyes. How would you have felt when you were their age?

There are other tips and tricks on how to communicate with your child during times of anxiety, how to be there for your kids during times of transition, and so much more in today’s Best Of Parent Cue Live episode. Tune in!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Meaningful Solutions Counseling and ConsultingNational Child Traumatic Stress Network

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“When stress becomes persistent over time, parents should pay close attention and ask questions.” —@DrCuwilliams
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“When you dismiss your child’s anxiety, the message you’re conveying to them is they’re all alone and they have to deal with their anxiety by themselves.” —@DrCuwilliams
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“Your logic doesn’t speak to emotions. Emotions are what they are.” — @kristen_ivy
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The post Best Of PCL: Helping Kids Cope With Anxiety appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jul 26 2018

22mins

Play

PCL 82: Bridging the Gap Between the Home and the Classroom

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Host Carlos Whittaker and former Overall Teacher of the Year of Fulton County Schools, Pamela Padak, talk together about how parents and teachers can partner together to strengthen their relationship for the sake of their students.

YOUR CUE

  • Ask your students questions. The best way to engage your child is to ask open-ended, clarifying questions about their day. Their answers will not only give you insight into what happened when you were apart from each other, but will also give you something to talk about with their teacher.
  • Read what teachers send home. Teachers send emails so parents can keep up to date on what’s happening with their student. Read this! Not only will it keep you in the loop and decrease teacher frustration, but it’ll also allow you to have a more rich conversation with your kid about their school life.
  • Give teachers feedback. As parents, we’re quick to send feedback when something goes wrong. But how often do we send feedback when things go well? Send a quick email or text to your child’s teacher telling them how much you appreciate something small they did this week in your child’s classroom. They’ll be appreciative!

EPISODE RECAP

Here’s the thing: There aren’t many people who will spend as much time with your kid than their teacher does. With that in mind, it pays to have a positive relationship with the person who will be pouring so many hours into our children when they’re not in our care.

It’s not uncommon, however, for there to be tension between teachers and parents. Parents often find themselves frustrated by the amount of homework sent home (I mean, come on! Don’t they know how many sports practices my kid has each week?). Teacher sometimes get annoyed when parents aren’t as engaged as they’d like them to be (Would it kill you to open and read the emails we send?). There’s often miscommunication on both sides, leading to mutual frustration that don’t benefit the student.

So we were happy to sit down and talk to Pamela Padak, teacher-turned-assistant-vice-principal, who knows all too well the benefit of a healthy, functional relationship between parent and teacher. Voted Overall Teacher of the Year of Atlanta, Ga.’s Fulton County Schools during the 2012-2013 school year, Pamela shares ways parents can stay engaged at school no matter how much time they have, how to build a relationship with teachers by simply sending an email, and how parents can build positive connections with their kids. Tune in to this week’s episode and let us know what you think!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal FreedomParent Cue Live Event

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

““Uplifting parent feedback deposits positivity into the soul of the teacher.” —@loswhit
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“Most of us hear seven words of criticism for every one word of affirmation.” —@kristen_ivy
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The post PCL 82: Bridging the Gap Between the Home and the Classroom appeared first on Parent Cue.

Sep 06 2018

33mins

Play

PCL 54: How To Teach Emotional Intelligence To Your Kids

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How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Sofia Dickens, creator of EQtainment and the Q Wunder show and app, shares her important findings on how our kids’ emotional intelligence directly affects their success as adults in today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

YOUR CUE

  • Make waiting a part of your kid’s everyday life. Patience is a learned skill. Factor in ways to make your kid practice waiting calmly.
  • Teach them to distract themselves. Help your kid think creatively during waiting times through fun songs and games.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Sofia and EQtainment have graciously offered Parent Cue Live listeners a free one month trial of the Q Wunder app.

FREE One Month Trial

Win a free One-Year subscription to the Q-Wunder app. We’ll be doing a giveaway on Instagram later this week!

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More about the Q Wunder App

EPISODE RECAP

Ask any parent how they measure their kids’ success and they’ll likely mention something related to their development or academic achievements. Sofia Dickens, a mother of four and founder of EQtainment and the Q Wunder show and app, challenges us to define success by something simpler: Our kids’ social and emotional skills.

A former student at Harvard, Sofia spent years studying emotional and social development. Using the 40-year research lead by Daniel Goleman, she learned social and emotional skills have a greater impact on life’s success than anything we teach our kids.

“We spend so much time toiling over the academics and stressing about all the things our kids can learn when it’s much more simpler than that,” Sofia says.

She looked for tools she could use to strengthen her kids’ social awareness, creativity, and focus and didn’t find much, so she used the concepts and ideas she studied in school to create EQtainment, which helps develop children’s social and emotional skills through games, books, and their Q Wunder show and app. The company focuses on equipping parents to nurture their kids’ sense of responsibility, manners, and empathy.

Controlling impulses

The secret to your kids growing up to become successful adults is their ability to distract themselves, Sofia shares. How effectively your kids are able to control their impulses and emotions is a clear indicator of what type of adult they’ll be.

You might be thinking your kid isn’t wired that way, that they’re just the impatient type. Instead of labeling your kids, think of them as coachable, Sofia tells us.

“Impulse control isn’t something that you are necessarily born with, but something that can be taught.”

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“We spend so much time toiling over the academics and stressing about all the things our kids can learn when it’s much more simpler than that.” —Sofia Dickens

“Impulse control isn’t something that you are necessarily born with but something that can be taught.” —Sofia Dickens

The post PCL 54: How To Teach Emotional Intelligence To Your Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

Dec 07 2017

21mins

Play

PCL 69: How To Love Everybody Always

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Bob Goff, New York Times bestselling author of Love Does, joins host, Kristen Ivy, to talk about his latest book, Everybody Always, and how showing immense patience can help us — and our kids — love others well.

YOUR CUE

  • Remember love is a sacrifice and commitment. Showing love to those who make it difficult on us is no easy thing. And if it’s your kids, it doesn’t make it any easier, but it makes the duty to show love even stronger. Remind yourself why you’re doing it — you’re showing them who God is through your love for them.
  • Instead of telling kids what to do, tell them who they are. There is no such thing as too much affirmation. Whatever your child believes about himself or herself is ultimately who they’ll become. Pour positivity into your child every chance you get.
  • Be present. The best way to show your kids how crazy you are about them is to be present. Be all in when you’re with them. Let them know they are a priority to you.
  • Surround your kids with community. Introduce your kids to your friends and start establishing with them the relationships that will help them be the best version of themselves.

EPISODE RECAP

There are some people who just rub you the wrong way, right? And since this is a safe space, let’s go ahead and admit one thing right now: Sometimes those people who get under our skin the most are the ones who call us mom and dad.

Our job as parents is to impart on our kids different life lessons that will help them become honest, kind, and hardworking people as they continue to grow older. The main lesson, though? Bob Goff says it’s to teach our kids to show immense patience to everyone, especially those we deem annoying at best, unlovable at worst. And it’s a lesson we as parents need to learn, too.

How to love when it’s difficult

It’s human nature to avoid people who make us feel uncomfortable, but Bob encourages us to give those people a second look. Those people, Bob says, aren’t really who they seem, but rather are reacting to an insecurity they have. It’s these people who deserve our patience, especially our kids.

One of the things I noticed about Jesus is He’s always seeing who people are becoming, not who they used to be,” Bob shares.

The key, then, is to focus on affirming your kids because who they listen to will ultimately be whom they turn out to be. Of course, this isn’t easy — especially when your kid doesn’t seem to be listening to a word you say. The secret: Be consistent and be present.

This is just the beginning of all the insightful knowledge Bob has to share. Hear even more helpful pieces of wisdom by tuning in to today’s episode!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Everybody Always by Bob GoffLove Does by Bob GoffPepperdine Law

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Jesus is always seeing who people are becoming, not who they used to be.” — @bobgoff
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“Our children are reflections of or reactions to us as parents.”— @bobgoff
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“Instead of telling children what to do, tell them who they are.”— @bobgoff
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“Don’t try to figure out how to love people efficiently, figure out how to love them presently.”— @bobgoff
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The post PCL 69: How To Love Everybody Always appeared first on Parent Cue.

Apr 12 2018

37mins

Play

PCL 68 [Dad Edition]: Parenting Teenage Sons

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Frank Bealer, executive director of leadership development at Orange, joins Carlos Whittaker and Jon Acuff to talk about parenting teenagers, parenting an adopted child, and other topics on today’s dad edition of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

YOUR CUE

  • Be a learner of your child. When it comes to encouraging your kid to do something they love, study them and ask them questions along the way—like whether they’re still enjoying themselves.. Be careful not to put them into the box you think they should be in—just when you’re starting to know your child, they often change. Be flexible.
  • Push through the discomfort. Sometimes, kids can be really honest about their thoughts on topics such as the opposite sex, and a lot of the time it can be uncomfortable for the parent. Try to hear them with an open mind and know they’re processing in real time according to their maturity level. Try not to be judgemental, and be grateful they feel open to let you in.
  • Save teachable moments for the appropriate time. As parents, it’s difficult to not turn every moment into a teachable moment for our kids. Remember, there is a time and place for everything, and sometimes, there’s a time and place to just have fun. Focus on building your relationship—the opportunity to teach your child those important life lessons will come.

EPISODE RECAP

Have you ever wondered how you’d handle your teenage son’s complete honesty about their thoughts on girls? Or what about when you want to encourage your kids to do something they enjoy at the moment without pressuring them to stick with it long after their interest in it has faded?

In today’s episode, we hear from Frank Bealer, a dad of four kids, whose ages range from 10 to 15, who is still very much in the trenches of understanding the ins and outs of parenthood. He’s joined with Carlos Whittaker, a dad of three, and Jon Acuff, a dad of two, and together they discuss:

  • What it’s like to adopt an older child and how it impacts the family dynamic
  • How to encourage your kids to do an activity they love without being too pushy
  • How to coach your kids through a shift in their environment and the social pressures that come along with it
  • How to be mindful of not favoring the dominant child
  • How to have uncomfortable conversations with your teenager

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Discovering Leadership Podcast

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“As soon as you feel like you have your kid figured out, you have a second one and realize, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” —@jonacuff
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“I’m struggling: When do you speak into the situation and when do you give them more room?” —@fbealer
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“[Our kids] are growing up in such a different world, where the ability to make a wider, far-reaching mistake is greater.” —@jonacuff
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The post PCL 68 [Dad Edition]: Parenting Teenage Sons appeared first on Parent Cue.

Apr 05 2018

35mins

Play

PCL 35: Are Your Kids on Track?

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Family counselors David Thomas and Sissy Goff unpack a few ideas in their latest book Are My Kids On Track about how parents can help their kids reach emotional, social, and spiritual milestones through careful guidance. Addressing the differences between boys and girls, they discuss how parents can help kids develop into resilient and resourceful adults, and become comfortable in the process of growth.

How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

YOUR CUE

Have a conversation with your kids this week and help them name and rate their emotions on a scale from 1 to 10. Depending on what emotions they battle the most, ask what would make them feel angry, anxious, or sad at the highest level 10.

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

Are My Kids on Track?: The 12 Emotional, Social, and Spiritual Milestones Your Child Needs to Reach

David and Sissy’s Blog – Raising Boys & Girls

A Counselor’s Response to 13 Reasons Why

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Help your kids develop an emotional vocabulary. Help them find words to define how they feel.
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The goal in parenting isn’t perfection, it’s progress.
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Boundaries create security for kids. They make them feel safer.
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We’re so busy being our kids’ resources they don’t develop resourcefulness.
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SISSY GOFF

Sissy Goff, M.Ed., LPC-MHSP spends most of her days talking with girls and their families, with the help of her counseling assistant/pet therapist, Lucy the Havanese. She has worked as the Director of Child and Adolescent Counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee since 1993, with a Master’s degree from Vanderbilt University. Sissy is the author of eight books including her newest book, Are My Kids on Track?, as well as Raising Girls.  Read more from Sissy at www.raisingboysandgirls.com.

DAVID THOMAS

David Thomas, L.M.S.W., is the Director of Family Counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, TN, the co-author of six books, including the best-selling Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys and Intentional Parenting and a regular contributor to ParentLife magazine. He and his wife, Connie, have a daughter, and three Wild Things (twin sons and a feisty yellow lab puppy named Owen). You can find David giving parenting tips on the BLOG at www.raisingboysandgirls.com.

CARLOS WHITTAKER

Carlos is an author, speaker, and content creator living in Nashville, TN with his wife Heather and 3 kids Sohaila, Seanna, and Losiah. He is addicted to social media, his wife’s enchiladas, and is determined to have his daughters teach him to land a backflip on the trampoline by the time he is 45. Find out more and read more from Carlos at carloswhittaker.com.

KRISTEN IVY

Kristen is the Executive Director of Messaging at Orange, Director of The Phase Project, and co-author of Playing For Keeps and It’s Just a Phase – So Don’t Miss It. She combines her degree in secondary education with a Master of Divinity and lives with her husband, Matt, and their three children, Sawyer,  Hensley, and Raleigh, in Cumming, GA.

Did you enjoy this episode? Help us spread the word!

Hopefully, this episode has helped you find a few practical ways to “do family better.” If you appreciated it, we would love for you to rate or review the podcast on iTunes. Your rating and review help get the podcast in front of new parents and listeners. You can also click the buttons below to share this episode on your own social media channels. Thank you for listening!

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The post PCL 35: Are Your Kids on Track? appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jun 22 2017

44mins

Play

PCL 37: How to Help Your Kids Make Friends

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In this episode, Dr. Jim Burns talks about how the types of friends our kids choose affects the direction of their lives. He gives some ideas on how parents can foster and coach healthy friendships.

How to listen: iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

YOUR CUE

1. Ask your kids who 3 of their friends are
2. Find other kids your kids can be around who will be positive peer influences.

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

The Phase GuidesJim's Book Confident Parenting

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Part of who your kids will become is who their friends are now.
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Your kids will model how you do friendships.
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Your job isn’t to raise obedient children but to raise responsible adults who love God.
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The post PCL 37: How to Help Your Kids Make Friends appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jul 20 2017

28mins

Play

PCL 99: How to Find Defiant Joy and Make Life Fun

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GIVEAWAY

Enter the Contest

YOUR CUE

  • Connect and engage with your children. You set the joyful tone for your kids — you should take this responsibility seriously! When engaging with your child, stop and make eye contact with them, put down your phone, and give them a hug out of the blue. These small ways show your kid that you love them and that you’re attentive to them.

EPISODE RECAP

There are so many things we simply accept in our parenting: We accept the sleepless nights, the strained conversations and misunderstandings between us and our kids, the moments everyone tells us we should enjoy but don’t. After awhile, our joy wanes, and with its departure comes more worry, discontentment, and an underlying wonder if this is all parenthood has to offer us.

Is it possible for us to find joy in the mundane, day-to-day tasks of parenthood?

Candace Payne says absolutely.

You may remember our guest, Candace. In 2016, she filmed a four-minute video of her laughing while wearing a Star Wars’ Chewbacca mask. She never intended for the video to be seen by anyone other than her friends, much less become a record holder as the fastest-spread video in YouTube history. And though her video is one to remember, the message Candace shares on her newly-erected platform is one we’re most interested to share with you.

Candace, a wife, mom, author, and speaker spends her days sharing her philosophy on joy, and most particularly, how we can have defiant joy. Defiant joy, Candace shares, is living and acting happily, no matter what life brings you.

As parents, we set the tone for joy in our homes and our children follow our lead. To learn how to shift your perspective from pessimistic to optimistic, how to stay joyful in seasons of change, and other helpful insights, tune in to this week’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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Did you enjoy this episode? Help us spread the word!

Hopefully, this episode has helped you find a few practical ways to “do family better.” If you appreciated it, we would love for you to rate or review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Your rating and review help get the podcast in front of new parents and listeners. You can also click the buttons below to share this episode on your own social media channels. Thank you for listening!

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The post PCL 99: How to Find Defiant Joy and Make Life Fun appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jan 31 2019

39mins

Play

PCL 98: How to Stay Family-Centered During Busy Life Seasons

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YOUR CUE

  • Be intentional about checking in with your kids. This week, talk intentionally with your kids. What was a win for them this week? What was a loss for them? Get the pulse on where they are now and ask them how you can support them this week.

EPISODE RECAP

None of us parents have our stuff together. While some days are better than others, on many days, most of us are just trying to make it to some far-off point, whether it’s to college, the end of a school break, the weekend, or nap time. Parenthood is hard, and if you ask around, you’ll find most mothers and fathers feel like they’re missing the mark somewhere with their kids.

So how do you stay connected when life gets so busy?

Today’s guest, Jeremy Cowart, seems to be in a perpetual state of busyness. Named the “Most Influential Photographer on the Internet” by Huffington Post, Forbes, and Yahoo in 2014, Jeremy has now added to his résumé: speaker, and founder The Purpose Hotel, a planned global for-profit hotel chain that will serve not-for-profit organizations. On top of that, he’s married with four kids.

If Jeremy can manage staying connected to his family when his work life gets crazy, surely we all can, too, right?

The father of four is quick to admit he doesn’t have it all together. What he does do is take every day one at a time while asking himself, “How do I choose my family today?”

For him, that sometimes means skipping out on those trendy, VIP parties he’s invited to and spending the weekend with his family instead. It might also mean bringing one kid with him while he travels so he can get some one-on-one time with them. Or avoiding electronics at the dinner table to ensure quality time.

Want to hear more helpful ideas from Jeremy? You’ll have to tune-in to today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast to hear more!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Jeremy CowartPurpose HotelParent Cue Store

Did you enjoy this episode? Help us spread the word!

Hopefully, this episode has helped you find a few practical ways to “do family better.” If you appreciated it, we would love for you to rate or review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Your rating and review help get the podcast in front of new parents and listeners. You can also click the buttons below to share this episode on your own social media channels. Thank you for listening!

Rate Us on Apple Podcasts

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The post PCL 98: How to Stay Family-Centered During Busy Life Seasons appeared first on Parent Cue.

Jan 17 2019

32mins

Play

PCL 97: Goal Setting and Your Parenting

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YOUR CUE

Ask yourself: “What are some goals I want for my family this month or this year?”

Sometimes, there are goals as simple as getting to bedtime. Other goals are a bit more lofty. Whatever the goal you have for yourself and your family this year, make sure you bring in some reinforcements. Introduce the word “goal” to whomever you do parenting with and get on the same page.

EPISODE RECAP

There’s nothing like the start of a new year to inspire us to become the best version of ourselves. Many of us write a laundry list of goals for the new year and often find ourselves disappointed come December. So how do we stop this endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and disappointment year after year? We’ve enlisted help.

Jon Acuff, New York Times bestselling author and speaker, has tackled this topic in his latest book, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done. Jon says most Americans believe a goal has to be difficult in order for it to count. That’s not true, he says.

So what’s the distinguishing factor between a good goal and a bad goal? Ask yourself this question: What do I hope is the consequence of this goal if it is achieved? The answer, Jon says, will be an instant sign of whether or not the goal matches who you are.

When it comes to our families, we often stop short of setting goals because the day-to-day tasks often keep us with our heads down and focused on what’s directly in front of us. However, goals set for our families help us stay in-tune with the pulse of what’s going on in our family’s daily life and communicates to our kids that they matter.

Also in today’s episode, Jon offers advice to those skeptical about goal setting, how to complete a goal you’ve set, and the importance of fun while setting goals.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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Jan 10 2019

40mins

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PCL 96: Single-Parenting through the Holidays

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YOUR CUE

  • This week and over Christmas, be present for the moments that matter, and lower any ridiculous standards you have created for yourself or ones that others have created for you.

EPISODE RECAP

Single parents are some of the strongest people on the entire planet. Parenting in and of itself with two parents working together is hard work, and solo parenting creates a whole set of challenges one can never truly prepare for. Add in the complicated, sometimes messy element of the holiday season and it becomes something more to dread than cherish.

During the holidays, a single parent can often feel like they’re under a microscope: Their family dynamic doesn’t quite fit the stereotypical nuclear family of a mom, a dad, kids and a dog, they’re having to make financial decisions they’ve never had to make, and they’re likely in some stage of grieving the future they once dreamed for their family.

As a single mother of two, Nichole Nordeman has struggled with the comparison, the grief, and the unmet expectations of solo parenting. Now 10 years into single parenthood, Nichole has some advice for the single parents out there: Let go of the of what the perfect family and perfect holiday season is “supposed” to look like. Instead of putting undue pressure on yourself to be the perfect parent and to have the perfect holiday season, here’s all that is required of you:

Love your kids.

Let them see you process your emotions in a healthy way so they can feel free to do the same.

Realize you have needs outside of your kids and meet those needs.

Lower the bar of your expectations.

That’s it. Stay away from anything that doesn’t uplift you and encourage you in this incredibly difficult season in your life (and for goodness sake, stay off of Pinterest! No good will come from seeing everyone else’s “perfection”). Make new traditions with your kids instead of trying to force the old ones. Get creative about gift giving. Give yourself time and space to grieve the life you once thought you’d have.

To our listeners who are single parents, we see you, we hear you, and we honor the work you are doing day in and day out for your children. To hear more encouragement, tune into this week’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Dec 13 2018

29mins

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PCL 95: Enjoying Marriage During the Holidays

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YOUR CUE

  • Try the 3:30 rule. In the podcast, Mike Foster shares how the 3:30 rule — three hugs a day, lasting 30 seconds each — will deepen your connection with your spouse through physical touch and the release of serotonin, a hormone and neurotransmitter often called, the “happy chemical.” Serotonin regulates mood, social behavior, and sexual desire among others. Try setting an alarm on your phone as a reminder to do the 3:30 rule.

EPISODE RECAP

There’s a popular meme making its rounds on the internet this holiday season: “I firmly believe any time spent with my family over the holidays shouldn’t count as vacation time.”

Every emotion seems to be heightened during the holiday season. Sure, the season is supposed to be filled with happiness, memorable moments, and precious time spent with the ones we love, but for many, the holidays are often a trigger for bad memories and emotions, financial struggles, and relationship issues. Any of this sound familiar?

Maintaining any relationship is hard, and will be even harder to do during the holidays. Mike Foster, an author, speaker, host of the Fun Therapy podcast, says he and his wife, Jennifer, started to notice a trend amongst their friends and acquaintances with 20-year-old marriages: Once their teenage kids went off to college, their marriages crumbled. Why? Because the couples spent most of their energy strategically pouring into their kids and not into their marriage.

Increasing togetherness

The goal for couples, Mike says, is not to fix your problems. The goal is to increase your togetherness. Creating and maintaining the connection of being together will not eliminate your problems, but it will strengthen your marriage enough to help you face any problems you have together.

So how does that work exactly? Especially for couples who have complicated situations, from second marriages to growing resentment to new parents? The key is carving out time, Mike says. Depending on what life stage you’re in, you might not have a whole lot of it, but it doesn’t take much. Mike encourages couples to carve out as little as 20-30 minutes a week where you can just be a couple. During that time, don’t talk about the kids, about politics, or anything else other than what you’re grateful for, and your dreams and future goals.

To kickstart your journey to togetherness, Mike and his wife, Jennifer, have created Five Dates, a workbook to help deepen connection in dating, engaged, and married couples. You can find more information about it here.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Dec 13 2018

35mins

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PCL 94: Navigating the Dangers of Online Connection

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YOUR CUE

Write down one thing you fear about your kids and technology and one thing you’ll do to proactively combat that fear.

EPISODE RECAP

As much as we all enjoy the internet and can’t imagine our lives without it, as parents, we all feel a bit uneasy about it, too. With the world at our kids’ fingertips through the use of smartphones and other internet-based devices, sometimes, it feels like our hands are tied when it comes to protecting our kids from the dangers of the internet.

This is why today’s conversation is so important and so relevant — studies show suicide and depression among our teens is at an all-time high thanks to the pressures of social media and the feeling that they can’t quite measure up to the lives of others. And for parents of younger kids, you’re not exempt from the dangers either — internet access is exposing kids of all ages to things we got exposed to once we were well into adulthood.

So how do we protect our kids from the dangers that lurk online? Well, today’s guests share their insights on this very topic. Today, we’re joined by Titania Jordan, chief parent officer at Bark, an app that helps adults keep kids safe online across various social platforms; Dave Adamson, a photographer and social media and online pastor at North Point Community Church; and Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute

We’ve got to remember our kids are grappling with their identity, where they belong, and what their sense of purpose is. While social media gives positive answers to these three questions, it also answers them negatively, plummeting our kids’ self-worth and increasing their sense of self-doubt. Because social media and the internet are so easy to get addicted to, it’s not uncommon for our kids to become defined by technology.

There’s one thing today’s podcast guests all agree parents can do right now: Start having conversations with your kids about who they’re talking to online, what they’re seeing, how they’re responding to it all. Some of these conversations will be hard, but we want our kids to come to us first with the hard stuff, especially since their peers aren’t mature enough to handle the weightiness of tough situations.

For more insight, tune into this week’s episode, the final installment of our three-part technology series on the Parent Cue Live podcast!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind-boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Dec 06 2018

29mins

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PCL 93: When is the Right Time to Give My Kid a Cell Phone?

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YOUR CUE

Think preparedness over protection. Maintain the mindset that you’re preparing your child for technology versus protecting them from it. One day soon, your child will have free reign of technology without your guidance. You want to make sure your child is mature enough to handle that responsibility when they’re not with you. Have conversations with your kid about the good and bad sides of technology, and how its use (and overuse) can impact their lives..

EPISODE RECAP

The truth is, our kids will never know a world without technology in it, and at the heart of this constantly connected, ever-evolving world is the cell phone.

For some of us, the idea of giving our kids a cell phone seems a ways off, but the time is coming faster than you think. These days, kids are getting phones earlier and earlier, and with busy school and extracurricular schedules, sometimes a cell phone seems to be the only way parents can keep everything together.

So this week, we’re talking specifically about cell phones and how to introduce them to your kids (And here’s a hint: You need a plan). When you give your kid a cell phone, everything changes and some important conversations need to be had in hopes your children handle this new responsibility with maturity. With a phone in their hands, our kids’ worlds instantly expand, letting in the good and not so good parts we’ve tried to shelter them from.

Today, we hear the wisdom of Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute, and Tom Shefchunas, a former coach, teacher, and principal who has worked with students for more than 20 years. Kara talks to listeners about her personal experience of when she and her husband gave their kids a cell phone, the boundaries they set around its use, and the good sides and downsides of introducing a new cell phone user into the family. Tom gives us his perspective on cell phones as a dad and someone who has led middle schoolers during the height of smartphone usage, how to prepare yourself as a parent as you enter this new phase, and signs to look for to know if your child is ready for the responsibility of a cell phone.

If you’re in the stage right now with your kids, you’ll want to take a listen to this week’s episode, and if you’re not quite there yet, grab your pen and notebook and get ready to take some notes — you’ll be here sooner than you think!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Nov 29 2018

31mins

Play

PCL 92: Technology Series: How to Navigate Healthy Online Engagement (Part 1)

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YOUR CUE

  • Have a direct conversation with your kids about technology. Ask them questions about what they think about what they’re viewing online and how it’s affecting their lives. Keep an open mind and remain judgment-free — we want our kids to share their thoughts instead of shutting down.

EPISODE RECAP

Let’s face it: As parents, we’re in way over our heads when it comes to technology and how to help our kids navigate it in a healthy way. Heck, we’re all trying to learn how to set some personal boundaries with technology for ourselves — how many nights this week did you spend aimlessly scrolling instead of getting to bed on time?

When we were our kids’ age, we didn’t have nearly as much access to technology — we had Super Mario Brothers and Sonic the Hedgehog on our Sega Game Gear, and if we were lucky, our parents would take us to our friend’s house if they achieved a higher level while playing the game. Now, there’s so much more to contend with: Our kids have the internet (cue ominous music). There’s so much they’re able to access right at their fingertips and if you think about it too long, it’s a little scary.

This is why today’s conversation is so important because there is so much at stake. According to research, technology is both speeding up our kids’ development while simultaneously slowing it down. Our kids are spending more time on websites and apps designed for adults, thus getting exposed to things way beyond their years, yet at the same time, are developing slower socially — because they’re so plugged in, they’re not learning social skills as fast.

First, we hear from Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute. A mother of three, Kara talks about how our kids are wrestling with three big questions: Who am I? Where do I fit? And what difference do I make? Answers to these questions are often shaped by technology and she discusses why boundaries with technology are important to establish with your family.

Next, we hear wisdom from Jelani Memory, CCO and co-founder of Circle Media, Inc., the company behind Circle with Disney, a device that helps parents enforce rules and restrictions on technology in their homes. Jelani, a father of six, helped create the device with his kids in mind — he wanted his kids to be able to get the most out of technology rather than getting the worst from it. He shares his ideas behind the concept and some common concerns parents have when it comes to their kids and technology.

Finally, we hear from speaker and entrepreneur, Matt McKee. A father of two, Matt challenges our way of thinking about technology: Instead of solely viewing technology as something to battle over with our kids, how about we see it as a means to help our kids express their creativity? Matt shares what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with technology and ways to approach a technology conversation with your kids at every phase.  

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind-boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Nov 21 2018

30mins

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PCL 91: Our Adoption Story

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YOUR CUE

No matter how easy or difficult the process is, adoption is hard. During the process, lean into your community, stay united with your spouse, and keep reminding yourself of the reason why you’re adopting in the first place.

EPISODE RECAP

Meet Adriana and Jamie…

The car ride home after the devastating news of their infertility is one the two would never forget. There were tears — of course there were tears — but laughter? Laughter was out of place.

Years before — before dating, before real jobs, before marriage, before 14 months of failed attempts to get pregnant — both Jamie and Adriana knew one day, whether or not they had biological children of their own, they would adopt a child. Early on, they both felt God had put on their hearts to extend their love to an unwanted child. Learning of their infertility was bittersweet because now they knew the exact road to take: Their infertility provided clarity.

“This turned out to be a true expression of God: Caring for someone who doesn’t have anyone to care for them,” Jamie shares.

So the couple began the process of domestic adoption expecting it to be terrible, really. But you know what? It hasn’t been terrible. It has actually be surprisingly pleasant. Though they have not completed the adoption process, they remain hopeful and expectant of the child who awaits them. Their story is one of hope and heart transformation.

Meet Kim and Ben…


Four children felt like the perfect amount for Ben and Kim’s family. It always has. But after birthing three, Kim didn’t want to birth a fourth, yet there was still a vacancy for the fourth child she was meant to love. They didn’t know it at the time, but their fourth child awaited them in Colombia and the journey to bring the child into the fold would be an arduous, yet rewarding one.

“Adoption will wreck you in the best ways possible,” Kim says.

With a community to support them and the right questions asked and answered, Ben and Kim decided international adoption suited them best. But once their child, a seven-year-old boy named Carlos, stepped foot on American soil, another type of challenge began: How do you acclimate a child to an unfamiliar culture? How do you overcome a language barrier while speaking to the heart of the child? Their story is one of patience, resilience, and community.



Meet Carlos…



Carlos and his wife, Heather, were at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert when the singer mentioned Show Hope, the artist’s adoption aid program. The two had discussed adoption before, but hearing the message sealed it for them.

But that was 13 years ago, an age before fast WiFi and when information on adoption was hard to come by. They became discouraged about halfway through the process and thought about giving up, but provision came in the form of a grant that allowed them to travel to South Korea and ultimately bring home their new, seven-month-old son, Losiah.

For Carlos and Heather, the early days were easiest. But now, Losiah, who is nearing the age of 13, is asking some hard questions about his birth home, what it means to look and act differently from his family and community, and explaining adoption to his friends. Though Losiah feels like a birth son to Carlos and Heather, Losiah’s experience is very different, as he questions his identity and his place in life. This is a story about what to do when there are no easy answers and how to find joy in the hard moments of the adoption journey.

There are various sides to adoption. No matter where you are, we at Parent Cue Live hope you find some comfort and hope in the adoption journey ahead. We can’t wait for you to tune in to this episode of the podcast.

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Nov 15 2018

44mins

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PCL 90: Does Church Really Matter for Your Family?

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YOUR CUE

There are five things Reggie Joiner shares in today’s podcast that parents can do to be more intentional at home — meet people, add experiences, prioritize time, identify needs, and talk together (MAP IT). Today’s CUE is simple: Download the free printable that asks you one question related to one of these five areas to help you be a more intentional parent this year.

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EPISODE RECAP

We’ve all had seasons in our lives where we just didn’t feel the desire to go to church. Whether you had a church experience that left a bad taste in your mouth or you had a time in your life when you felt confused about God and whether or not He had any real purpose in your life, times will come when you question the importance of church.

We get it. We also aren’t in a position to judge — all of us on the Parent Cue podcast team have felt this way at one time or another.

But as parents who have been raised in church or who got introduced to church later in life, we’re preoccupied with a lot of things when it comes to our kids, and their faith is a big one on our lists. You might be wondering whether or not church is relevant to your family.

You and the local church

Ask any parent if they think they have this whole parenthood thing down and most will respond with an emphatic, “Absolutely not!” This generation of parents are some of the most lonely, stressed, and overwhelmed, often asking themselves questions such as, “Is my kid doing OK? Am I doing OK as a parent?” A Google search does nothing to quell their sense of hopelessness and often, parents don’t know where to turn for help.

The Church used to be that place. And the Church can be that place still.

But it seems like the Church’s reputation is only getting worse — a quick search on the Internet yields all kinds of cringeworthy results that seem to drive a wedge between the church and the community its meant to serve.

If done correctly, the church in your community can serve as one of your greatest parenting resources. Parenthood was never meant to be done alone — not only do our kids need positive adult relationships (outside of their parents), but us parents need that community, too.

With the help of the Church, parents can learn how to use everyday moments to be more intentional with their kids, building them up to be successful adults. Together with the Church, parents can be more intentional at home by:

Meeting people.
Adding experiences.
Prioritizing time.
Identifying the needs of their kids.
Talking together.

Wondering how you’ll ever remember all of these things? Just remember the acronym MAP IT. MAP IT helps us take the focus off the things we can’t control and put our focus back on the things we can.

Tune in to today’s podcast to hear more wisdom about the MAP IT areas and how you can better serve your children with the help of your local church.

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Nov 07 2018

23mins

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PCL 89: What To Do When Your Kid Doesn’t Believe in God Anymore

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YOUR CUE

  • Listen to the behaviors of your kids. Sometimes your children are feeling things they don’t have the words to explain and it’s our jobs to explore those feelings and support them. Stay in tune with your kids behaviors and emotions and start a conversation with them whenever something seems amiss.
  • Empower your kids. Try not to fight every battle for your kids, but instead embolden them to fight their battles themselves. Help them come to their own conclusions on how to solve the situation.
  • Help your kids identify who their biggest fans are. Our children need support and need to know they are loved despite any circumstances they may be facing. Remind them who are in their support system and remind them they are not alone.
  • Write down this reminder on a card or sticky note: I’m going to parent with our future relationship in mind.

EPISODE RECAP

You’ve seen your child drifting for awhile now.

At first, they were skipping out on church service and small group meetings every once in awhile, but the weeks continued to stretch on. Now, you can’t even remember the last time your kid went to church. Was it Easter? Christmas?

Then, you hear the words you’ve been dreading your entire life as a Christian parent.

“Hey, mom? Dad? I don’t think I believe in God anymore.”

The Deconversion of Young Adults

We’re going to venture a guess here and say we believe most of our listeners are concerned about the faith of their children. From infancy, we’ve worked tirelessly as Christian parents to instill both big and small moments in our kids’ lives to share the God we believe in—in hopes they develop a relationship with God for themselves. However, there’s a growing number of young adults who are cutting ties with Christianity altogether, leaving parents heartbroken and dumbfounded.

Andy Stanley, senior pastor of North Point Community Church, has been studying this very topic—the deconversion of our youth. The fundamental reason why young adults are walking away from their faith at alarming rates, he says, is due to their characterization of faith, whether it be a bad church experience or a biblical contradiction, rather than essential truth of Christianity itself.

“When people turn their backs on Christianity, they’re usually turning their backs on the version of Christianity they grew up with,” Andy shares.

So what’s a parent to do when their kid says they don’t believe in God anymore?

Andy says the answer is really simple: Do very little.

This is as delicate time when your child is questioning not only their beliefs, but who they are as well. Andy encourages parents to be extremely curious. Ask questions without passing judgement or sharing your opinions. If they want you to read an article or a book that backs their current beliefs, read what they give you. Your interest will show that you respect them and love them unconditionally. And above all, listen quietly and show your children love.

There is so much to unpack in this episode with Andy Stanley, and we’re happy to tackle a topic that burdens the hearts of so many of our listeners. Be sure to tune in to hear what Andy’s No. 1 parenting rule is in his household and more advice he has for parents of children with wavering faith. Got a particular question about parenting or grandparenting that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Hopefully, this episode has helped you find a few practical ways to “do family better.” If you appreciated it, we would love for you to rate or review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Your rating and review help get the podcast in front of new parents and listeners. You can also click the buttons below to share this episode on your own social media channels. Thank you for listening!

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Nov 01 2018

26mins

Play

PCL 88: What Every Son Needs to Hear from His Father

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YOUR CUE

  • Tell your son, “I love you.” This may seem a bit superfluous, especially if you’re the type to express your love often, but sometimes we all need a little reminder. Many parents of today were raised by fathers who didn’t hear they were loved very often, and habits are often passed down through the generations. This is the single most important thing your son needs to hear from you, so say it often. They need to know they are loved, respected, and cherished at all times.
  • Get to know your kids’ love language. It’s one thing to tell your kid you love them, and it’s another to show them. Take Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” quiz to determine how your son interprets love and act accordingly.
  • Parent in the small moments. Use meal times, car ride times, and bedtimes to pour into your son emotionally, asking questions and speaking truth over their lives. As your son gets older, the moments of heartfelt conversations may be few and far in between, so use these moments to get in some quality time.

EPISODE RECAP


Everyone needs a hero, and for boys—especially those who are middle school aged—their dad has the potential to be their greatest hero of all, guiding and shaping the way they will ultimately view manhood.

If this sounds like a heavy responsibility, it’s because it is—the middle school years have proven quite critical, especially for boys on the horizon of manhood. They’re asking serious questions about their identity and forming bonds with others who will ultimately play a part in who they will become. But it’s also a time when boys at this age begin talking less and creating more distance between themselves and their parents. So what’s a parent to do?

Express love

Nick Salyers is a co-founder of Champion Tribes. This is a program that equips fathers with the necessary tools they need to position themselves as not only their son’s most trusted ally but to also include a group of trusted mentors to guide sons along their journey toward manhood.

Though Nick isn’t a dad, he is the product of an intentional father, David, who leaned into their relationship even further when Nick was 12 years old. Now 24, Nick shares some of the moments that stick out to him most and discusses the lasting impact those moments left on him even through adulthood.

Many fathers today can’t remember a time when their own fathers told them or showed them how much they meant to them. But that’s what’s missing, Nick says. We need more fathers today who will continuously remind their sons of their love for them. If fathers start a new trend in this way, Nick explains, fathers can tap into their potential to shape the next generations to come.

You don’t want to miss this important episode. In it, Nick shares just how important mentors are to the process of raising boys, why rites of passage should be extended to the transition from boyhood to manhood, and the exact thing every son should hear from his dad. And as a special treat, we’re giving away a Champion Tribes program to one lucky listener!

You can learn more about that by clicking here.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been mind-boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Oct 25 2018

37mins

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PCL 87: What To Do When Kids Are Mean: An Episode On Bullying

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Sissy Goff, director of child and adolescent counseling at Daystar, a kids and family counseling center in Tennessee, joins host, Carlos Whittaker, to talk about bullying, what it means in today’s age, and how we can help our kids navigate it in today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

YOUR CUE

  • Listen to the behaviors of your kids. Sometimes your children are feeling things they don’t have the words to explain and it’s our jobs to explore those feelings and support them. Stay in tune with your kids behaviors and emotions and start a conversation with them whenever something seems amiss.
  • Empower your kids. Try not to fight every battle for your kids, but instead embolden them to fight their battles themselves. Help them come to their own conclusions on how to solve the situation.
  • Help your kids identify who their biggest fans are. Our children need support and need to know they are loved despite any circumstances they may be facing. Remind them who the people are in their support system and remind them they are not alone.

EPISODE RECAP

October is National Bullying Prevention Month in the United States, and it’s a great reminder for parents to pause each year and consider the effect bullying may have on our kids or kids we know. Whether it’s a direct reality in our families, or simply something you’ve always worried about experiencing with your kids down the road, bullying is something we must all pay special attention to.

Because this is such an important topic, we are so glad we had the opportunity to sit down for a chat with Sissy Goff, director of child and adolescent counseling at Daystar, a kids and family counseling center in Tennessee. Sissy has dedicated her life’s work to researching and addressing anxiety, depression, bullying, and everything in between in kids and adolescents.

Signs parents overlook and how to address them

As parents, we sometimes overlook the signs our kids may be showing that tell us they’re being bullied at school. These signs include withdrawal from everyday activities, coming home a little more quieter than usual, and heightened anxiety on the evening before school resumes. Many times, our kids don’t have the words to express what’s weighing heavily on their hearts, and it’s up to the parents to listen to the behaviors of their kids and interpret their feelings.

That likely feels like a tall order, right? It’s natural if you feel this way. Thankfully, we have our friend, Sissy, share with us exactly what our next steps should be if we suspect our kids are being bullied at school:

Equip your kids with strength and kindness.

We must teach our children how to enforce their personal boundaries in a kind way, especially in the face of bullies. If they’re being bullied on the playground, for instance, you can encourage them to say, “I want to play with you, but I’m not going to if you continue to talk to me that way.”

Teach your kids how to handle conflict appropriately.

Since bullying is such a sensitive topic these days, parents tend to jump at the chance to end it quickly. However, Sissy says parents’ interference may be preventing kids from learning how to handle conflict well. It’s our role as parents to coach our kids to handle things themselves as much as they can and asking for help when necessary.

Empathize.

Being a kid is tough, and they’re dealing with some pretty hard stuff. Lead with questions and grace.

There’s so much to unpack in this episode, you don’t want to miss it. Sissy Goff also talks about what to do when your kid is the bully, how to address cyberbullying, and how to talk to another adult who has a kid you suspect is a bully. We can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been on your mind? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Buy NowRaising Boys and Girls Books by Sissy Goff

The post PCL 87: What To Do When Kids Are Mean: An Episode On Bullying appeared first on Parent Cue.

Oct 18 2018

27mins

Play

PCL 86: How to Build Your Kid’s Confidence Through Self-Love

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Eryn Eddy, a social entrepreneur, speaker, and art director, joins host, Kristen Ivy, to talk about how self love radically boosts confidence in our children.  

YOUR CUE

  • Help your kids face the pain of a first failure or rejection. First heartbreaks take root in us. However, if left unconfronted, that rejection starts to alter how we view ourselves. So take the opportunity of your child’s failure or rejection to teach them the importance of acknowledging these challenges instead of leaning away from them. Dealing with them in a healthy way promotes healthy self worth.
  • Learn to love yourself so you can love your children well. If you don’t love yourself wholeheartedly, it will be nearly impossible to have the capacity to love those around you, including your children. Self love begins when you believe you’re worthy of love.
  • Stay present. We often see our children through the lens of what needs to be fixed. Eryn Eddy encourages us to stay in the moment with our kids, and compliment a value you see in them.

EPISODE RECAP

Our kids arguably have it much harder than us in many ways — they’re dealing with stuff now that wasn’t even created when we were their age. Today’s kids’ confidence is often influenced heavily by outside forces we wish we could control but can’t — social media and peer groups. As a result, our kids often feel stressed out and like they can’t measure up.

But us parents know just how critical confidence is to the growing up process, so we’re all intent on raising confident kids. But how?

On today’s episode, we talk to Eryn Eddy, founder of So Worth Loving, a lifestyle clothing brand that aims to remind people they are valuable and worthy of love. Since adolescence, Eryn has had one mission imprinted on her heart — to encourage people to see themselves for who they truly are.

So of course it was only fitting we talk to Eryn about such an important topic as nurturing confidence in our kids, especially as they get older. At the heart of diminished self worth, Eryn says, is when both kids and adults don’t face the pain of their first rejection or failure head on.

You don’t want to miss this relevant, heartfelt episode, parents. If you’ve been wondering how to keep your kids confidence in tact, how to properly handle when your kids do something you don’t agree with, and how to help your kids become the best version of themselves, tune in!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

So Worth LovingDear BodyParent Cue Live EventParent Cue Live Facebook communityGiveaway

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

If people knew they weren’t alone, they would be able to see themselves as God sees them.”
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“You can’t love another person wholeheartedly until you love yourself.” —@ErynEddy
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“Our children need the message of acceptance and value over and over again.” —@ErynEddy
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“To become better versions of ourselves, sometimes we need to deconstruct.” —@ErynEddy
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“Trust that God is going to create something beautiful out of the chaos.” —@kristen_ivy
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The post PCL 86: How to Build Your Kid’s Confidence Through Self-Love appeared first on Parent Cue.

Oct 04 2018

41mins

Play

PCL 85: What Parents Need to Know about Hip-Hop Culture

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YOUR CUE

  • Be curious about hip-hop culture. There’s a reason why hip-hop has more and more fans every day. Our kids were born in a generation that loves and appreciates justice, and many of hip-hop’s messages are centered around that very fact. If you’re new to the genre, ask your kids who their favorite artists are and why. This will show your engagement and also help you to get to know your kids better (Remember, no judgement!).
  • Acknowledge the culture is growing and embrace it. Be open to your child’s likes as they are now. Don’t resist them —  the more you do, the more you stand the chance of pushing them away and jeopardizing your influence with them.

EPISODE RECAP

As a general rule, people tend to be uncomfortable about things they don’t understand. For some parents, one of those things is hip-hop culture. You don’t get the draw to the music — if you’re not into that type of genre, the bassline may seem intrusive, and the lyrics are less than suitable for your own ears, let alone your kids’ impressionable ones.

Think of it this way: Today’s hip-hop is yesteryear’s rock ‘n roll. Hip-hop has nearly replaced rock culture in the United States, leaving some music awards shows to slowly remove the category altogether. Because of its rapid growth, hip-hop culture permeates nearly everything: commercial jingles, Top 40 hits, and, as you may have noticed, your kids’ musical taste and language.

It’s easy for us as parents to diminish the impact hip-hop is having on our child’s life because we don’t agree with it. But as Joseph Sojourner challenges us in today’s podcast, it’s imperative for parents to not only listen to the music (it’s not all sexually suggestive nor does it all have questionable content), but to try to understand it for the sake of having a deeper understanding of our kids. You may be pleasantly surprised what you learn: That hip-hop can be a lyrically-rich story that has the opportunity to help grow your child’s empathy.

Hip-hop isn’t going away anytime soon, Joseph says. In fact, it’s only going to get bigger and it’s time for parents to embrace it.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn the meaning behind the hip-hop movement, the difference between rap and hip-hop, and why your kids are so drawn to the culture.Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Joseph Sojourner

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“We live in a generation that loves justice. Hip-hop is the sound of justice.” — @iAmSojourner
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“To dismiss something someone loves only jeopardizes your influence with that person.” — @iAmSojourner
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The post PCL 85: What Parents Need to Know about Hip-Hop Culture appeared first on Parent Cue.

Sep 27 2018

39mins

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PCL 84: How to Raise Motivated Kids

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YOUR CUE

  • Communicate your family’s values. Your kids can begin to shift from extrinsic motivators to intrinsic ones when you, as a parent, communicate why the task or behavior is important to the family as a whole. When a kid understands they’re a part of something bigger than themselves, your family’s value system becomes their personal value system.

  • Get to know your kids. One of your kids may be extrinsically motivated while the other naturally leans toward intrinsic motivation. Know who your kids are at their core, and it’ll help you tailor how you approach this whole motivation thing. One of your kids may be motivated by things, while the other is motivated by fun and quality time. Notice the differences and act accordingly.

  • Focus on the season you’re in and prioritize accordingly. Ask yourself, “Why am I hyper-focused on my child completing this particular task I’m asking them to do?” Sometimes, we’ll find our requests are selfishly motivated. Take a step back and away from perfection and focus on one thing you can do this week or month to help nurture motivation in your kids.

EPISODE RECAP

As parents, we all want to raise motivated kids who will one day grow up to be adults with great work ethics and values. Sometimes, however, we do things that undermine the ultimate goal of having motivated kids by focusing on short-term outcomes.

On today’s episode, we hear from Dan Scott, a father of four, ranging from high schoolers to an elementary-aged child. Together with our podcast host, Kristen Ivy, the two share their personal stories on what it’s like to motivate kids in the preschool, elementary, middle school, and high school phases. They also discuss how to encourage healthy habits in kids (and discourage unhealthy ones), and how parents should be aware that our hyper-focused requests for that loaded dishwasher or cleaned bedroom to be done perfectly may actually be detrimental to our kids’ motivation growth.

Even more, they answer questions such as:

  • How do I help my kids move from extrinsic motivation (money and other reward-based prizes) to becoming more intrinsically motivated?
  • How do I fairly motivate kids who have different personality types?
  • What are the types of motivators and how can I use them to help my kid grow?

We can’t wait for you to dive into this subject with us. If you found after listening to the podcast that you’ve got another question about parenting, we want to hear it! Click here to ask your question and you might hear it answered on the podcast.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Dan ScottDrive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates UsThe 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children EffectivelyThe 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively

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“Parents, ask yourselves, “Am I motivating my child in the moment for my own sake? Or do I have a long-range perspective?” —@kristen_ivy
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“Fun is a motivator for all kids.” —@danscott77 
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“Parents, ask yourselves, “What’s the one thing I want my kids to be motivated to do in this season?” —@kristen_ivy
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The post PCL 84: How to Raise Motivated Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

Sep 20 2018

32mins

Play

PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Lifetime Television’s, “America’s Supernanny,” Dr. Deborah Tillman, talks with host, Kristen Ivy, about the skills parents should nurture in their kids to help foster their self-reliance skills.

YOUR CUE

  • Let your kid lose. When our kids are younger, we think it’s cute to let them win games most of the time. Stop doing this. Your kid needs to know there are times they will win, and times they will lose. When your child loses while you’re around, you can help them process these emotions in a constructive, mature (for their age) way. If they don’t ever lose, they’ll always expect to win, which doesn’t happen in real life.
  • Let it go. Release the notion that perfection is right around the corner. It’s not. Allow your kids to do the tasks you want them to do on their own one day, even if it’s not done to your standards. They’re practicing, and practicing leads to growth. Allow your kids to be who they are while they’re learning.
  • Start a gratitude journal. We can think of hundreds of things we’ve done wrong in our lifetimes, but rarely do we celebrate the good things we’ve done. Dr. Tillman suggests parents start a gratitude journal and write down all the things you did well that day. She says when you reflect on the things you do well, you’re bound to repeat them.

EPISODE RECAP

It’s natural for parents to want to protect their children from harm, whether it be from physical, emotional, or relational pain. But too much protection can lead us to raising our kids in the opposite way we truly desire, and if left unchecked, an abundance of protection can cause a lack of self confidence and an inability to handle adversity in our kids.

Dr. Deborah Tillman, a child development and parent educator, and Lifetime’s “America’s Supernanny” has seen countless cases where parents thought they were being a good parent by overly cushioning their children’s fall (even she says she fell victim to this with her now 25-year-old son). She strongly discourages this, in fact, she says parents should let their children fail more. When a child does something on their own, even if they fail, it’s a chance for them to learn and grow.

Now, for the perfectionist parent, this advice will likely cause a mild spasm of some kind—the age-old adage, “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” is a motto most perfectionists live by. Do it to your own detriment, Dr. Tillman warns. Many times, your kids’ growth starts with an inward look at yourself and some self reflection on why you view parenthood the way you do and if that view is indeed what’s best for your child.

Today’s episode is full of helpful—and at times, convicting—advice to help you better parent your child and increase their self reliance. Tune in!

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

A Perfect Pet for Peyton: A 5 Love Languages Discovery Book

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Self-reliant kids are responsible, can problem solve, and can independently think.” @DeborahLTillman
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“We can show our children the way, but we must allow them to be who they are created to be.” @DeborahLTillman
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It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” Frederick Douglass
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Time to a child is spelled, “L-O-V-E.”  —@DeborahLTillman
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The post PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

Sep 13 2018

30mins

Play

PCL 82: Bridging the Gap Between the Home and the Classroom

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How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Host Carlos Whittaker and former Overall Teacher of the Year of Fulton County Schools, Pamela Padak, talk together about how parents and teachers can partner together to strengthen their relationship for the sake of their students.

YOUR CUE

  • Ask your students questions. The best way to engage your child is to ask open-ended, clarifying questions about their day. Their answers will not only give you insight into what happened when you were apart from each other, but will also give you something to talk about with their teacher.
  • Read what teachers send home. Teachers send emails so parents can keep up to date on what’s happening with their student. Read this! Not only will it keep you in the loop and decrease teacher frustration, but it’ll also allow you to have a more rich conversation with your kid about their school life.
  • Give teachers feedback. As parents, we’re quick to send feedback when something goes wrong. But how often do we send feedback when things go well? Send a quick email or text to your child’s teacher telling them how much you appreciate something small they did this week in your child’s classroom. They’ll be appreciative!

EPISODE RECAP

Here’s the thing: There aren’t many people who will spend as much time with your kid than their teacher does. With that in mind, it pays to have a positive relationship with the person who will be pouring so many hours into our children when they’re not in our care.

It’s not uncommon, however, for there to be tension between teachers and parents. Parents often find themselves frustrated by the amount of homework sent home (I mean, come on! Don’t they know how many sports practices my kid has each week?). Teacher sometimes get annoyed when parents aren’t as engaged as they’d like them to be (Would it kill you to open and read the emails we send?). There’s often miscommunication on both sides, leading to mutual frustration that don’t benefit the student.

So we were happy to sit down and talk to Pamela Padak, teacher-turned-assistant-vice-principal, who knows all too well the benefit of a healthy, functional relationship between parent and teacher. Voted Overall Teacher of the Year of Atlanta, Ga.’s Fulton County Schools during the 2012-2013 school year, Pamela shares ways parents can stay engaged at school no matter how much time they have, how to build a relationship with teachers by simply sending an email, and how parents can build positive connections with their kids. Tune in to this week’s episode and let us know what you think!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal FreedomParent Cue Live Event

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

““Uplifting parent feedback deposits positivity into the soul of the teacher.” —@loswhit
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“Most of us hear seven words of criticism for every one word of affirmation.” —@kristen_ivy
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The post PCL 82: Bridging the Gap Between the Home and the Classroom appeared first on Parent Cue.

Sep 06 2018

33mins

Play

PCL 81: How Parents and Grandparents Can Work Together in Parenthood

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YOUR CUE

  • Have conversations. As time goes on, new parenting rules are created — what was done years ago in parenting may not be as relevant today as it was back then. That’s OK! Grandparents and new parents should talk to each other regularly about the expectations when caring for their grandchild/child. When everyone is on the same page, you can work together to do what’s best for the child, which is the ultimate goal.
  • Remember there’s a learning curve. It takes time to learn anything new, right? So grandparents and parents, show each other grace. Yes, grandparents, you raised your child in a certain way and they turned out fine. And yes, parents, there has been research that shows (insert your latest findings here). This is a time when everything is new — for both the grandparent and the new parent. Be patient with each other and put your egos away.
  • Get trustworthy, consistent adults in your kids’ lives. Parents, there will come a time when your kid won’t want to talk to you first, if at all. That’s OK — it’s just a phase. But you’ll want to make sure you have some trustworthy, life-speaking adults in your kids’ lives when they need to talk about something big. Grandparents can be that for your kid, so start the process now by letting your children’s grandparents in.

EPISODE RECAP

Parents: How many times have you heard your parents say, “Back in my day…” when it comes to something related to parenting? And grandparents: If you had a nickel for every time your kid said, “Well, latest research shows…,” you’d be rich, right?

Navigating parenthood and grandparenthood (is that a word?) can be tricky, especially when both sets of adults are first-timers. There’s so much newness and so much no one knows (but think they know) that it can create some tension, especially when everyone involved thinks they know what’s best for the child.

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Reggie Joiner, founder and CEO of The reThink Group, and his oldest daughter, Hannah Crosby, as they hilariously discuss the ups and downs of being a parent and grandparent in today’s world. As a parent, if you’ve ever wondered how to talk to your parent about what you want for your kid’s health when your kid’s at their grandparents’ house, or grandparents, if you’ve wondered what’s the best way to communicate your opinions, you’ve got to tune in to today’s episode! The episode features discussion about real life conflicts between parents and grandparents and helpful conversation starters.

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Parent Cue Live EventPhase GuidesPhase ProjectSimple Crafty Gifts for Grandparents

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Grandparents: Having traditions with your grandchildren makes them feel special.” @hannahjoiner.
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““Don’t assume because the rules have changed, your son or daughter aren’t as good a parent as you are. Being a grandparent is about understanding and learning in a new culture.” —@reggiejoiner
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“The more a grandparent knows and respects today’s new parenting rules, the more they can be an asset to their grandchild’s household.” —@reggiejoiner
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The post PCL 81: How Parents and Grandparents Can Work Together in Parenthood appeared first on Parent Cue.

Aug 30 2018

36mins

Play

PCL 80: The Importance of Establishing (and Reestablishing) Your Family’s Rhythm

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Nina Schmidgall, director of family ministry at National Community Church in Washington, D.C., joins host, Carlos Whittaker, to talk about the important topic of setting your family’s rhythm according to your goals (and reestablishing it when necessary) in today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

YOUR CUE

  • Reevaluate often. Several times a year, you’ll need to take time to recalibrate. As a family, ask yourselves, “What is the rhythm for my family during this season? How can I be more intentional with my time?”
  • Consider your priorities. You and your family members have things that are uniquely important to them. Clarify what they are and always test your family’s rhythm against them. Anything that doesn’t align with your family’s priorities shouldn’t be a part of your rhythm.
  • Decide the moments you want to guard. In your family’s life together, there will be some things you can bend a little on, and some things you can’t. Protect those things that cannot be compromised, from vacations together to family nights.

EPISODE RECAP

Life’s new seasons often call for an adjustment in your family’s rhythm. And whether you think so or not, your family definitely has a rhythm, chaotic as it may be.

With the school year’s arrival and the summer season coming to a close, it’s important for families to decide during seasons of transition exactly what’s important to them and what’s not. Nina Schmidgall, director of family ministry at National Community Church in Washington, D.C., a wife and mother of three, knows all too well the demands life places on a family. Her oldest daughter is heading into middle school for the first time, and her school is located clear across town in a large, metropolitan area. Maximizing their family’s rhythm and all of its moving parts, Nina says, is the key to parents’ success.

It’s important for families to remember their rhythm might look completely different from someone else’s (insert your favorite quote about how comparison is terrible here!). Whether you’re part of a family where one member travels for work, or where one or both parents work primarily on the weekends, families should always take into account that comparing your family to someone else’s ultimately distracts you from tuning in to your own family’s rhythm and needs.

Tune in to today’s episode to hear more from Nina about taking practical steps to establishing your family’s rhythm, how to be intentional with life’s small moments, and the need for slowing down.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Parent Cue Live GiveawayCarey Nieuwhof PodcastPhase GuidesParent Cue Live Event

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Our ability to harness and lean into rhythms and maximize them is a key to our family’s success.” —@ninaschmidgall
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“If we look at other people’s moments on social media and compare ourselves to them, we often miss our chance to tune in to our own rhythms.” —@ninaschmidgall
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“The important thing about evaluating rhythm is often we can find a discrepancy against what we’re saying is important and the way we’re living.” —@ninaschmidgall
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The post PCL 80: The Importance of Establishing (and Reestablishing) Your Family’s Rhythm appeared first on Parent Cue.

Aug 23 2018

23mins

Play