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Kids & Family
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Parenting On Purpose

Updated 2 days ago

Kids & Family
Religion & Spirituality
Christianity
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Answers For Today's Families

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Answers For Today's Families

iTunes Ratings

228 Ratings
Average Ratings
192
17
8
5
6

Relevant and practical

By Dayvis23 - Jan 14 2020
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This podcast has a great practical application for parenting in particular with developing great character qualities. It is faith based but side from the faith and spiritual aspects of the podcast, the principles and traits that are talked about at a child psychological level is important to foster in children.

Thank you!!

By Rachied84 - May 17 2018
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A great daily reminder to be an intentional parent!

iTunes Ratings

228 Ratings
Average Ratings
192
17
8
5
6

Relevant and practical

By Dayvis23 - Jan 14 2020
Read more
This podcast has a great practical application for parenting in particular with developing great character qualities. It is faith based but side from the faith and spiritual aspects of the podcast, the principles and traits that are talked about at a child psychological level is important to foster in children.

Thank you!!

By Rachied84 - May 17 2018
Read more
A great daily reminder to be an intentional parent!
Cover image of Parenting On Purpose

Parenting On Purpose

Latest release on Oct 18, 2019

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Answers For Today's Families

Rank #1: Raising a Grateful Child – Part 1

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Getting Ready for a Successful Thanksgiving

Gratitude is not something that is an innate human trait.  Because we are all born selfish, it is something that is both caught and taught.  As God designed it, babies spend all of their time having their needs met.  As children get older they are taught to be more and more self-sufficient.  If we are not spending time training our children to have a grateful heart however, they will keep that selfish attitude.

Thanksgiving gives us a wonderful opportunity for training.  We can utilize the theme of this holiday to start our holiday season off with an attitude of gratitude.  One way to do that is by creating an “I’m thankful for list”.  Starting today put a poster board up in a central location of your house.  It can be a plain poster board or you can enlist the help of your children to decorate it.   Parents can take the initiative and begin every day by writing at least one thing on the list that they are thankful for. Make a game of seeing who can come up with the most things.  Keeping the things that we are thankful for in the forefront of our minds will begin to train us, and our children, to have grateful hearts.

For more ideas on teaching gratitude through fun activities check out,

http://glittermagic.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/10-ways-to-celebrate-gratitude-in-your-happy-home/

Nov 19 2018

15mins

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Rank #2: Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 4

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The Difference Between Determined And Rebellious

Both types of child can seem similar but the difference may be in the root of what they want.  A determined child is passionate for what they want.  The strong willed child may fight to get their way.  This is pride coming out, they will battle for their way regardless.  They don’t like being told no.  Another type of child is the angry child; they battle authority because they are angry.  When dealing with toddlers there may be some overlap of these three just from the natural push back of that age.  As children get older and training kicks in the determined child’s passion can be seen for what it is.  Passion for things they believe in.  Like we said yesterday, we need to help our child learn to channel that good quality and not get discouraged. The trained, determined child will be the child/teen who won’t easily quit or give up, can endure failures and come back, and isn’t afraid to risk failure. Determination at its best is doing your part, staying with it, never quitting and then trusting God for the results. This is what we want to instill in our children.

May 01 2018

15mins

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Rank #3: When Your Child Shuts Down | Part 5

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Preventing The Parent Shut Down

It is very easy to give into the temptation of shutting down yourself as a parent. We have seen movies where a child goes into their room and slams the door, only to be followed by a parent retreating to their own room and slamming the door. A parent who has shut down can also be heard uttering phrases like, “fine”, “whatever”, or “do what you want.” We have to be so careful not sink to our children’s level; even if you feel like giving up because you don’t know what else to do.

So what are some things we can do to prevent the parent shutdown? The first is to make sure to keep proper perspective. Remember that this is only a small battle to win the war for your child’s heart. It is temporary. Second, make sure to stick to your parenting plan. Remind yourself, and your child, of the pre-established consequences. Third, STAY CALM, if you feel yourself beginning to loose it emotionally take a breath or a “time out” yourself. I have known many a mom to sit in the bathroom alone for a moment to regain composure. Finally, make sure that you are setting aside time to replenish yourself. Make sure that you are getting time to yourself, time with others for encouragement and setting aside time to grow spiritually.

Apr 07 2018

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Rank #4: The Importance of Teaching Your Child to Communicate | Part 1

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Why Is This So Important?

For the next two weeks, we will be talking about training your kids to communicate.  This is one of those valuable tools that will help your kids be marriageable and employable in the future.

There are many adults today that have not been trained how to communicate.  Because of  the distractions of today’s culture this is something that we have to make a priority for the family.  In the past families did things together for entertainment so communication was more natural.  With the introduction of the three “T’s” (television, transportation, technology) the natural family communication state has been interrupted. With television, the entertainment was moved from internal, or within the family, to external.  This and other technological advances have made it that we must be intentional in training our children to communicate.

Jul 09 2018

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Rank #5: Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 1

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Don’t Teach Them To Respect Authority

Many have said that parenting isn’t for the feint of heart.  Parenting is hard work! Unfortunately, there are things that we can do to make it much more difficult then it has to be.  The first thing that will make life a lot more difficult is to not instill respect for authority in our children.  This can make things much more difficult at home and sets our child up for failure, not only at school but as an adult.  This is such an important issue we spent a week discussing how and why to teach respect to your children.  Click here to see that series.

Jul 30 2018

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Rank #6: When Parents Don’t Agree – Part 1

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What To Do When Parents Disagree?

Today’s parent has many challenges to face.  What do we do when one of those challenges is our spouse?  This week we will talk about what to do when we disagree on parenting issues.

Parenting can be one of those hot buttons for a marriage.  We all come into marriage with different expectations based on how we were raised.  Parenting can be an area where we have a hard time seeing eye to eye with our spouse for many reasons, expectations, personality and even our own exhaustion level.

How we choose to see these disagreements can have an effect on their outcome.   Proverbs 27:17 states, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” If we set aside time to have our weekly parenting staff meeting these disagreements can serve to spark conversation and ultimately make our parenting team stronger if we allow them to!

Apr 10 2018

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Rank #7: Family Fun | Part 1

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Why It’s Important To Have

There are so many stressors on every member of the family today, financial, relational, and work/ school related stress to name a few.  The home is suppose to be an environment that will shield us from those stresses.  It is our safe place and shelter from the world around us.  It is also the place to build those lasting childhood memories.  How sad for time to just fly by because of our busy lives and have regrets about the time spent with our children.  We can’t spend our time living only for the weekend or the vacation time. We need to incorporate fun into our day to day.  When children are young get into the habit of making family meals something that you do together.  Take that opportunity around the table to talk but also don’t miss out on the opportunity for laughing and just plain silliness.  It is amazing the stress relief of a really good laugh.  Taking opportunities to look for fun also sets the tone for the atmosphere of your family.  What will your children feel as they think about their childhood? Will it be fond memories of great family times or will it be memories of wishing for something different.

Make sure to not take yourself to seriously and just have fun with your family.

Jun 25 2018

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Rank #8: Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 5

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Keep The End Result In Mind

We all need to remember that parenting is all about the process.  I have to remind myself that I am raising a child NOT a mini adult.  This is all about teaching and training and I need to keep that in mind in the day to day to keep my expectations realistic.  My goal is to raise a Godly, marriageable and employable adult.  When I keep this goal out in front of me it is easier to enjoy my relationship with my child now.  When I remember that it is all about the process of parenting and training for the future then I can enjoy my child as they are now in the stage they are now. This is key for the strong child.  I don’t want to “break” the will of my child.  I want them to have that amazing God giving quality.  It is my job to help bend and focus that will so they can become the adult God has designed them to be.

May 01 2018

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Rank #9: Dealing with Bedtime | Part 1

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Why Is It So Challenging?

It almost seems that the area of bedtime can be a battle for every stage of parenting, from birth to curfew.  This week we will address those issues, as well as, steps we can take as parents to help the bedtime battle.

The first thing we need to ask is why does this battle take place?  For smaller children the resistance can be rooted in fear.  There may be a legitimate fear of the dark, a fear of the unknown or a fear of being alone.  The last may be especially true if one parent has left.  We need to be sensitive to our children if fear is involved.  Things that seem irrational to adults can be a source of fear in children because of the developmental phase they are in.  For example, fears of being sucked down the drain with the draining water in the bathtub is very real to the over imaginative child.

Bedtime can also be one of the first battles of the will, however.  It becomes not about going to bed or staying in bed, it becomes a battle of control.  This can be one of the first big tests for making your “no mean no.”  It is our job as parents to take the time at bedtime to decipher if there are legitimate fears but be consistent with our “no”.

Jul 23 2018

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Rank #10: Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 5

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Ways To Get Help As A Mom And As An Individual

One thing that we could all use more of is encouragement.  As moms we really benefit from being around others who are in the same stage of life as we are or even people who have gone ahead of us.  It is so easy for us as moms to get isolated in our daily activities and unless we are intentional we end up feeling so lonely.

There are many ways to find time to be with other moms.   Many churches have ministries solely for moms.  You can even set up a time every week for a park date with other moms who have kids of similar age.  Especially as we head into the summer months with our children home we need to be intentional about making these times out with other moms.

It is also beneficial to be able to have some adult woman time away from the children.  Whether that is a bible study that has child care or your husband is willing to take the children for an evening every once in a while.  Women thrive in community.  We even seem to get energy from being around each other.  This is another thing that is important to make sure and some how fit it into that crazy schedule.  It is worth the effort!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering.

Jan 04 2019

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Rank #11: Helping Your Pleaser Become A Leader | Part 1

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The Pleaser and the Barbarian

We have mentioned many times that when it comes to discipline children fall into two main categories, the pleaser and the barbarian. There will be differences from child to child because no two are identical. The barbarian child is also known as the strong willed child. They are the ones who if given an instruction may do the opposite just to see what happens or to see what mom and dad will do. The pleaser child is the one who doesn’t put up as much of a fight and seemingly falls under authority more easily.

There are benefits and difficulties with both. The barbarian may seem obvious that they tend to keep their parents on their toes especially in those early years. They are the ones who will definitely test to see if that “no” means “no” to see if there are inconsistencies. The pleaser child because they are seemingly falling right in line, are the ones who can overlooked especially when a parent has another child who is consistently testing the waters. If that happens a pleaser could then fall into a pattern of being manipulative or following the rules but only when someone is watching. This pleaser child is the one we are going to look at this week and discuss how we can bring out the best in this personality.

May 05 2018

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Rank #12: Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 1

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Motherhood Is More Challenging Then I Imagined

This week’s topic hits very close to home for me personally as the mother of a two year old.  We are going to talk about how to deal with the overwhelming day to day responsibilities of being a mom.  I can say that I have seen this from all aspects, from ten years working with the teens parents in residential care to the current stage of being around my friends with young children, every mom has days of feeling overwhelmed at the continuous task at hand.. .raising children!

We are going to spend the week talking about how we cope on those days and how we get to the point of choosing to be fulfilled with the awesome job we have been privileged too.  The first thing that we can do is take a step back and analyze our expectations.  Some one once said to me “there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, just a good enough parent.”  I love this quote and every time I think about this it takes a weight off.  Part of a mom’s stress today is the feeling that we are expected to be able to do everything and do it all perfectly, in perfect balance.  From keeping house, bringing in money, pouring into our kids lives, raising spiritual giants, keeping our kids healthy and well exercised, being involved in school and church functions and have time to work out and maintain the perfect body, to name a few.   We can work ourselves into a frenzy trying to keep up this level of balance and order. Take the time to sift through those expectations and cut yourself some slack.  There is no way to maintain this level all the time, something will get the short end of our attention.  We cannot allow it to be actually raising our children!  As we process today some verses that have helped me recently is Luke 9:46-48.

“An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.”

It is a reminder from the only perfect parent, there is nothing greater we can do with our time then serve the “least of these.”  When we do this we are serving Him!

Listen to today’s podcast for more wisdom on this topic!

Dec 31 2018

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Rank #13: Becoming Your Spouse’s Best Friend | Part 1

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Choosing To Be Your Spouses Best Friend

In order to become best friends, we need to make this relationship a top priority. It’s easy when life happens, children enter the picture and stress creeps in to allow marriage to get place on the back burner. If we are not careful then years may go by and we may look at our spouse and realize that we are married to a stranger. We need to take the time to input into our marriage through all the stress and chaos so that we are able to grow together. This enables to to become one flesh.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ As many times as I hear this verse it’s such a great reminder that our closest neighbor is our spouse. If we are not choosing to love them then how can we expect the love to appropriately trickle down to our children then those around us. Check back the rest of this week as we discuss tips for pursuing a best friend relationship with your spouse.

Jun 12 2018

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Rank #14: Family Fun | Part 5

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Perfection vs. Fun

There is such pressure for performance and perfection in today’s culture, from how we perform at work/school to our appearance.  A great way to defuse this pressure is family fun.  Especially fun at a parent’s expense, this helps model for a child how not to take themselves to seriously.   In our house this was Dad.  Dad made sure that he rigged it so that he lost most of the games we played.  He then would make a huge show of loosing meaning that he would burst into tears or being silly throw a temper tantrum.  There were many creative ways to have us all hysterically laughing.  It seems he took it as a challenge if one of us was in a bad mood to do something ridiculous to make us laugh.  There was even several times that he “fell asleep” at the breakfast table and got oatmeal all over his face.  This was a great lesson for us in how its ok to be silly and to laugh at yourself.

Jun 29 2018

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Rank #15: Dealing With the Cyber Tsunami | Part 1

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The Research Is In

Why should parents take charge of the cyber input that is invading the life of their children?  First, the cyber world is here to stay.  Secondly, it is so dominant in our culture that it needs to be looked at.  Third, research is now coming out in volumes stating that while there is the good impact, there is also damaging impact and a potentially devastating impact.  This digital invasion came so fast in every area of our lives, we embraced it without thinking.  It was almost forced on us; it led us rather than us leading and controlling it

There has been a societal shift that has affected the day to day of our children.   First, it was television that drew kids indoors, then gaming, now it is the draw of the social aspect of the internet.  This impacts the way kids interact with each other.  Instead of going outside to play with friends they can now meet up in the virtual gaming world via the internet.  This has an impact on everything from the social skills of our children to their physical health.  We will spend the rest of this week looking into these dynamics and how they impact our families and children, be sure to check back!

As always listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

May 15 2018

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Rank #16: Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 5

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Don’t Teach Them To Love and Respect God

How are we living out our faith in front of our children? Are we a family who lives out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus or are we merely a family who follows a list of religious do’s and don’ts?  Is this relationship something that permeates all aspects of our family life or is it simply something we do on Sunday? The very core and center of what we do, should be focused on opportunities to teach our child about Christ. For more on this click here to see our week long series on how to raise a disciple.

Always check out the podcast for more insight.

Aug 03 2018

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Rank #17: The Importance of Teaching Your Child to Communicate | Part 2

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Helping My Child Share Feelings In A Positive Way

One of the most important aspects of communication is the ability to share ones feelings. Although this seems such a basic form of communication it can be easily overlooked in the training of our children. Yesterday we talked about how our current culture is so distracted and fast paced that we cannot take our job of training our children to communicate for granted.  It must be something that is done very intentionally.

When children are younger we are constantly reminding them to, “Use your Words”, in order to help them communicate. As they grow older we may allow them to try and communicate through emotions,  such as anger or frustration, because we have grown weary of the time it takes to deal with their behavior .  However, when our children are acting out in frustration or anger, we need to remind them to use their words.  If our children are not trained how to communicate their feelings both positive and negative, it can lead to some destructive behavior patterns.  Bottling up emotions can be very dangerous.  When you are teaching your child how to communicate their feelings, you are also beginning to help them learn how to process through their emotions.  Emotions that are raw and un-processed can also lead to destructive behaviors.   We must be constantly in tune with our children’s day to day so that we can remind them to “use their words. “

Jul 10 2018

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Rank #18: Dealing with Lying | Part 1

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Why Does My Child Tell Lies?

To deal with this difficult topic in parenting we must start by asking the question, what is lying? International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Electronic Database defines a lie in this way; “In its very essence, a lie is something said with intent to deceive. It is not always a spoken word that is a lie, for a life lived under false pretenses, a hypocritical life, may be a lie equally with a false word.”

So why do lies happen? For children it may simply be to get out of trouble or an over active imagination.  For teens it may also add for appearances sake, they want to please their peers or not want to feel bad about themselves.

Thirdly, we can ask where do lies come from? John 8:44 says this, “For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” Meaning, we all have a sin nature so it is natural for us to immediately resort to lying when we are caught at something.  We must be trained to be truth tellers.

Now that we have answered these three important questions check back the rest of this week for answers on dealing with lying.

May 29 2018

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Rank #19: Finding the Balance of Family and Individual | Part 1

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Getting Past the “Selfie”

Today’s cultural focus is the individual. If we are not careful we can allow this to impact our parenting. We are told to value “me time” or that we “deserve” certain things, even if it is to the detriment of others. This seems to be blatantly obvious anytime we are out on the road, it’s hard to find a lot of selfless drivers. Now while it is important to celebrate each special quality that makes our children unique, the gifts and talents that God gave them, we have to find balance and help them learn to thrive in a unit. In today’s “selfie” culture we are raising a generation that if we are not conscious, will not be marriageable and employable.

I think we could all agree that we want our children to be selfless not selfish. In fact this is imperative if we are Christ followers. Christ taught us in order to lead we must serve. Philippians 2:3 tells us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of the others.”

Sep 03 2018

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Rank #20: The Proactive Marriage with Rosemary Barnes | Part 1

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The Need To Set Boundaries

With everything going on in the world around us it is easy to see how important placing boundaries around your marriage is.  We must be proactive to protect our relationship with our spouse.  This is such an important topic we spent a week discussing it.  Click here to check out our series on boundaries in marriage.  Be sure to check back tomorrow as we begin to discuss the Five “A’s” or areas of need in a marriage.

Nov 06 2018

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The Battle For A Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 5

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When Others Damage Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Learning how to cope when other children are mean is something that unfortunately every child will have to face.  How we handle these situations as parents can affect their self-esteem.

When a parent underestimates a child’s pain and downplays or ignores a peer problem it can cause damage.    A child can feel even worse if a parent brushes off the emotion that they are feeling.  The other reaction that a parent can have is to over react and try to fight the child’s battle first with out allowing the child to attempt to work it out on their own.  There are extreme circumstances, such as threats, that warrant parental involvement. If a parent overreacts to every circumstance then it could cause a child to clam up and not talk to a parent about what is going on in their lives.

Today’s child can face a different level of bullying then any other generation.  Social networking has made it so that home isn’t even a safe place from bullying.  We need to stay aware of what is going on in our children’s lives.  We do this by creating an environment for consistent communication.  When your child is struggling with a situation just sit and be a listening ear.  Sometimes a simple hug is encouragement enough.  Help your child process how to handle the situation by asking, “What do you think you should do?”  Most of the time just being a listening ear is the encouragement needed, more then being able to say “all the right words.”

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem.

Oct 18 2019

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The Battle For A Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 4

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How Competition and Performance Impacts a Child’s Self-Esteem

We discussed earlier this week that our self-esteem is determined by answering the question of whose we are.    If that is the case we need to look at what He created us to be.  He made us human beings not human doings.  Our self worth cannot be established by what we do.  This is an important lesson to teach our children early on.

We have also spent time discussing how to help their self-esteem by communicating that our love is not attached to our child’s performance.  How do we guard them from finding their self-esteem through all of the extra curricular activities in their lives that society would deem important?  One way is to teach them the art of loosing.  We need to show them that it’s not about the win but the effort you put in.  This is such an important lesson to learn early on because if not our children will be looking for that next “win” even in adulthood.  What we do, or don’t do, doesn’t define who we are.  At the end of the day what we do needs to be left on the field.  Our gaze needs to be upward focused on the day where we can hear “Well Done” from our Heavenly Father.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem.

Oct 17 2019

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The Battle For A Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 3

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How Discipline Compliments Self-Esteem

How does discipline affect self-esteem?  It seems that many today would think that disciplining a child would hurt their self-esteem, which is why we have so many homes with so little rules.  In fact the opposite is true.  When a child has no consistent boundaries placed around them they feel very insecure.  Just like a fish that has been taken out of the safe boundary of the water they thrive in.

How we discipline our children is the key to this.  We must have a consistent plan in place for discipline because when we do not we become the consequence.   We also must be very careful not to remove our relationship as we discipline.   Which means no yelling or constant lecturing.   Be intentional to restore relationship as part of the discipline process.  Say something like this, “I’m so sorry that you have chosen to go to bed early tonight because of your attitude earlier.  It makes me sad that you chose to go to bed because I was looking forward to spending time with you.  I love you very much, which is why we are working on this area. “  Calmly explain the reason for the consequence and reaffirm our love for the child.  This way when we are consistent with our discipline the child can make the connection that they chose the consequence because of their behavior, it is not that we are mad at them or love them less today.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem.

Oct 16 2019

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The Battle For A Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 2

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Where does Self-Esteem Begin in a Child’s Development Process?

When does our child’s self-esteem begin to be built? It actually begins at birth with the mother/child bonding.  Through the bonding experience of those early days and months we are communicating love and security.  A child cannot yet comprehend the concept of God as their Father so until that time we are communicating His love through our parenting.

The thing that we need to remember is that, unlike God, we are not perfect and will make mistakes.   That is actually a relieving thought; there is no such thing as a perfect parent.  We all may have the best of intentions but we will make mistakes.  Admitting these mistakes will actually help your child through these moments. We can also use these times as a teaching tool, although mom and dad aren’t perfect their Heavenly Father is.

We can also communicate our love when our child makes a mistake.  Our child must know that we love them not how they perform.  We can create this environment by verbally communicating our love even when they have messed up or broken a rule.  We will talk more tomorrow about self-esteem and discipline.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem

Oct 15 2019

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The Battle For a Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 1

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What is self-esteem and how does it affect my child?

The concept of self-esteem can be a very elusive and ethereal topic.  What is it, and how can I make sure that my kids have positive self-esteem?  We are going to spend the next week discussing this topic.

Self-esteem starts with a question.  Society would have us find our worth through asking ourselves these questions. What am I worth financially? How happy am I? How well liked am I? How successful am I at my career?  But the fundamental question that is at the base of someone’s self-esteem is not any of these but simply, Whose am I?

When we have a relationship with God, we are His child.  We are cared for, provided for, protected and love by the Creator of the universe.   That is the answer for who we really are and the foundation for a positive self-esteem.  This is something that we as parents must not only believe for ourselves but communicate to our children.  Our children are not only loved by us but by God himself!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem.

Oct 14 2019

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ADD & ADHD | Part 5

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Get Organized- Part 2

Here is a list of reminders for parents on how to consistently communicate positively to your child. It will also help you to maintain the balance of structure and relationship.

1. Listen to your child- make sure you are taking the time to listen to your child through the process of getting organized.  Make sure to include them in the process. It is easy for many of us to get over excited about being about to take charge of our family and forget to listen to our child’s voice.

2. Be careful how you react.  Stay calm.- Very important when your child is consistently hitting a wall.  We need to remember that change is a gradual process.  Remind yourself that it is about the process not the end result.

3. Be patient-A good reminder when you are feeling frustrated is to focus on the fact that they are children and not “mini adults”. They will make mistakes and have immature moments.

4. Give them active time-All children, but especially those with ADD/ADHD need time to blow of steam.  Make sure that there is time allotted in your schedule for physical activity.

5. Find fun.  There’s a huge need for laughter- Family should be about fun but it is especially important to choose fun when you are working through issues together.  Make the time for crazy spontaneous fun.

6. The power of Touch and affection- The power of positive touch is amazing.  It can communicate love and tenderness and is also vitally important when working through things as a family.

7. Find restorative time for you- Make sure as parents that you are finding time for yourself but also time to be together.  Make sure to make your relationship with God as well as your marriage a priority.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of ADD/ADHD.

https://p2day.s3.amazonaws.com/2012/03/2012-03-09-PTW58D5.mp3

Sep 21 2019

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ADD & ADHD | Part 4

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Get Organized- Part 1

A great list found on ADDitudemag.com for helping parents get organized and mobilized to help their child/family function with ADD/ADHD.

1. Give specific instructions. “Put away the toys on your carpet on the shelf in the closet.” Be consistent — if the toys are stored on the shelf one night, they should be put there every night. Children need to know precisely what you expect.

2. Assign tasks that your child is capable of doing on his own. Success builds confidence. The goal is to teach your child to do things independently.

3. Involve your child in discussions about rules and routines. It will help him understand goals and teach him to accept responsibility.

4. Write down routines as sequences of tasks (two to five items only), and post where easily visible (refrigerator, bathroom mirror). Review lists regularly with your child.

5. Be realistic about time. Make sure you’ve set aside enough time for the child to complete his homework, clear the dishes, and get out the door in the morning. If the original time frame is leaving you five minutes shy, add five minutes.

6. Expect gradual improvement. It takes time to change old habits and form new ones.

7. Praise effort — not just results. If your child set the table but forgot napkins, acknowledge that she’s trying. Reward good behavior more often than you punish bad.

8. Allow for free time in daily routines. Kids — and adults — need downtime.

9. If your child isn’t taking to the routine, seek help from a counselor who specializes in ADHD. A pro can help get you on track.

10. Stay focused on the long-term goals. Above all, don’t give up!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on ADD/ADHD.

Sep 20 2019

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ADD & ADHD | Part 3

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Isn’t ADHD Just An Excuse For A Lack Of Discipline?

A great response to this question was found in ADDitudeMag.com, by Robert M.A. Hirschfeld, M.D., who is a psychiatrist and a father of an ADHD child….

“The idea that willpower can solve all problems is as American as apple pie, but so are compassion, tolerance, and wisdom. Some people with diseases such as diabetes and hypertension can organize their lives to limit the effects of their disabilities. But some, no matter how hard they try, need insulin to break down sugar or medication to lower their blood pressure. We offer them support, and we do not blame them for their failure to “fix” themselves.

The same goes for ADHD.

Unfortunately, when it comes to brain disorders, such as ADHD, depression, or other neurological conditions, a harmful attitude creeps in: the belief that attention deficit disorder, and other disorders originating in the mind, reflect “bad character” and that all it takes is more willpower to overcome them.

As a psychiatrist, and also as the father of an ADHD child, I know how destructive this view is. Many people with depression suffer for years because they’ve tried to make themselves feel better, and they still can’t function. Coworkers and spouses become frustrated and blame the sufferer when attempts to “jolly” a person out of a depression don’t work. Their lack of understanding adds guilt and shame to the long list of problems that depressed people cope with.

My son could not will himself to not have ADHD. Trying to get him to change his ADHD behaviors didn’t work. And had we stopped at that, his life would have been marked by frustration and failure. Without proper medical, psychological, and educational interventions, no amount of willpower could have helped. Fortunately, our continued interventions have enabled our son to shape his own destiny and experience many successes.

Challenges remain, and he’s needed our support—not our demands—to overcome them. We didn’t want our son to experience the fate of earlier generations of ADHD kids who didn’t have the benefits of new knowledge and better science.”

For more insight on the topic of ADD/ADHD listen to today’s podcast.

Sep 19 2019

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ADD & ADHD | Part 2

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Mom Is Key

Children with ADD/ADHD have a very difficult time maintaining focus on things that do not interest them.  This can become very frustrating to parents when they see their child get very focused for a long period of time over a video game or some other hobby but are unable to maintain that focus when it comes to homework or chores.   Parents need to keep in mind for a child who is truly ADD/ADHD it is not willful disobedience.

Where parents can come in to help is by providing consistent rewards for an area that may be difficult for a child to self motivate.  Something such as homework is a good area to start.  Something like offering a small reward such as a snack for a subject completed or an allotted amount of time worked is all that may be needed to motivate the child to focus.  Start with small chunks of time worked and slowly work to more as your child does better focusing.

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Sep 18 2019

15mins

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ADD & ADHD | Part 1

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Have Hope

ADD/ADHD seems to be something that many parents have questions about because it is so prevalent in today’s society, to the point where many parents worry about their children unnecessarily.  It appears that currently only 3-5% of children truly suffer from ADD/ADHD. The characteristics of ADD/ADHD are impulsivity, inattention, and hyperactivity. The problem is many parents with toddlers can attest to theses characteristics showing up frequently.  So we must ask when does it become a problem? There are several factors that can cause this in young children, everything from lack of sleep, diet, or even over stimulation.  So we as parents need to ask ourselves a few questions to determine whether or not this is something that we need to take more seriously.

Is the behavior I observe in my child similar to that of other children he encounters?

Is the behavior I expect of my child developmentally appropriate?

Do I see a pattern of behavior when my child engages in various activities?

Do I see a pattern of behavior in various settings?

It may even help to ask the perspective of another objective adult such as a teacher.

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Sep 17 2019

15mins

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Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 5

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NO Excuses

The generation of children and teens have been raised observing the “its never my fault attitude”. Many in society want to blame every one around them for circumstances and choices, the victim mentality is sadly very prevalent.  This is a very adolescent attitude that many adults have not grown out of.

We need to teach our children that their choices are their own, which means that they need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions.  No excuses are acceptable.  Teaching this attitude of responsibility for decisions makes our child both marriageable and employable.  Never being able to admit when you are at fault makes both of these areas very difficult.

The Living Bible translates the Proverbs 22:6 verse like this, “Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it.”  We are training our children not only to make the right choices but to take responsibility and learn from the poor ones.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of decision making.

Aug 31 2019

15mins

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Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 4

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Challenges

The challenges of decision making are evident in every decision your child has to make.  Rather then making these decisions for your child, or becoming frustrated with the child’s poor decisions, use these as opportunities for decision making development.

What are examples in the decision making training process? Well when our children are young we train them to pick up after themselves.   That is ultimately helping them make the decision to do that later on.  How they handle their allowance is a great decision making opportunity.  Decisions about when is an appropriate time to leave if something is happening at a party or date that goes against what is appropriate.

All the “challenges” we as parents face with our children and teens are also great training opportunities.  The need to learn the skill of wise, disciplined decision making is often more significant then the behavior we are dealing with.  Don’t get frustrated and miss out on the opportunity to train.  We need to instill in our kids the thought, “Its not that my parents caught me, it’s that I made the wrong decision.”

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of decision making.

Aug 30 2019

15mins

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Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 3

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The Four Parts of The Training Process

As we have discussed previously, there are four “E’s” to every training process we face with our children.  We need to focus on all four of these steps for successful training.

The first is our example as parents.  Are we setting the example of good decision making?  If we make a bad choice are we humble enough to explain and help our children learn from our mistake?  Do our children see us going to God’s word, praying about it and seeking Godly advice when we make a decision? Remember a very big part of the training process is living out what we are teaching.

The second step is exposing them to the decision making process.  Like we said in example, include your children in decisions that are being made as a family.  Allow them to see how to process a big decision.

The third “E”, is experience.   We need to allow our children the experience of making their own decisions.  We stated Monday that often it is easier as parents to make decisions for our child because it is so time consuming to walk them through the process.  However, if we are not allowing them to practice decision making then we are actually stunting development in this area.

Finally comes encouragement.  We also need to take the time to encourage our children when they make decisions.  We need to go crazy with praise when they make the right choice, but we also need to take the time to encourage when the decision is not the right one.  This means we take the time to process with our child and encourage that they can do better and you believe that they can make the right choices.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Aug 29 2019

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Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 2

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The 2 Components of Making Wise Decisions

There are two components that are necessary to teach our children so they can consistently make wise choices. The first is knowing where to go to find answers.  This is the first step to a good decision making process. There are many places we can train our children to go to look for answers if they are unsure in a decision. The first is always God’s word.   Many of the answers we need, can be found by simply cracking open the Bible and looking.  Another place to go is other people who can help give wise and Godly advice.  This is great area to help our children practice.  The more quickly they learn not to take advice from just anyone the better their decisions will be.

The second is learning the discipline to do the things I know are the wisest things to do even when I am tempted to do the opposite. This means that we need to teach our children, when they find the answer that they are looking for in scripture or through wise advice, they need to stick with it even if it is hard.  Helping our children to use their heads in the decision process and not their wants or emotions will help them in the face of temptation. The second thing that we need to help our child with is learning the discipline of saying no.  This is a very difficult thing for most of us but something that is essential for good decision making.  We have even spent a week discussing The Power of No. 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Aug 28 2019

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Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 1

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Why It’s Important to Raise Good Decision Makers

This seems like an obvious question, because how our child makes decisions will affect every aspect of their life.  But if we truly believe this then why is this not a more prevalent focus of our parenting? For one thing it is a lot easier for us to make decisions for our child and not take the time to train the to make decisions for themselves.  We are usually in a rush and taking the time to present and explain decisions to our child takes a lot of time and effort.

When we are in a rush and our child makes a poor decision we usually don’t take the time to help them process through how to make a better choice next time, we usually just yell and move on.  Keep in mind if our child doesn’t know how to make decisions for themselves then they will spend their lives allowing others to make decisions for them.

Two verses that we consistently bring up in discussing parenting which apply to the decision making process as well are,

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Aug 27 2019

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Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 5

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Ways To Get Help As A Mom And As An Individual

One thing that we could all use more of is encouragement.  As moms we really benefit from being around others who are in the same stage of life as we are or even people who have gone ahead of us.  It is so easy for us as moms to get isolated in our daily activities and unless we are intentional we end up feeling so lonely.

There are many ways to find time to be with other moms.   Many churches have ministries solely for moms.  You can even set up a time every week for a park date with other moms who have kids of similar age.  Especially as we head into the summer months with our children home we need to be intentional about making these times out with other moms.

It is also beneficial to be able to have some adult woman time away from the children.  Whether that is a bible study that has child care or your husband is willing to take the children for an evening every once in a while.  Women thrive in community.  We even seem to get energy from being around each other.  This is another thing that is important to make sure and some how fit it into that crazy schedule.  It is worth the effort!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering.

Jan 04 2019

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Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 4

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How Is A Mom To Get Help

Many moms today because of the economy are working outside the home.  There are also many moms who are having to work from home to bring in extra income.  The problem is that statistics show that most of the time it is the women who are still coming home from work to do all of the house work and cooking and dealing with the kids.  This is not a slam on men, most don’t know how they can help.  They probably didn’t observe it in their home or are afraid to mess up the system.

There is a way to create a team for the family especially when both parents are working.  That is encouragement!  Don’t be afraid to ask your spouse to do something.  Most men would happily help if they knew what their wife needed help with.  Then we need to encourage when they help. This is another area of struggle for many women.  Many of us are very particular in how we want things done and nitpick if someone else does it.  We need to learn to be grateful and express the gratitude for a job done, not complain how it wasn’t done right.  Make sure you are taking the time to express gratitude for help offered to you!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering!

Jan 03 2019

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Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 3

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Finding You As a Woman and As a Person

Like we said yesterday it is so important to prioritize our schedules in order to find balance.  There is another thing that we need to find time to fit in and that is time for ourselves.  We need to make sure that we do not completely loose our identity and solely become mom.  It is so easy to get caught up in the frenetic chaos of the day to day and realize down the road that you don’t even know who you are anymore.  It is hard to relate to your spouse and your children as they get older if you don’t have a sense of self.  Now this is not to be confused with a sense of selfishness.  There must be a balance to this.  It seems that we live in a time of extremes in this area.  Either we think its all about me and sacrifice what is really best for our children for our wants or we attempt to become so completely selfless that we lose who we are.  Find the balance.  Make sure that you are taking a little bit of time every week as alone time.  Whether that is taking a small amount of time during naps to read or just sit in the tub, or take turns with a friend babysitting children just so you can have some quiet time.  And like we said yesterday make sure that you set aside time daily to spend time in scripture.  Even when it is hard to fit everything in it is still worth the effort!

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic of mothering!

Jan 02 2019

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Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 2

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Find The Balance In Life

One thing that helps moms find the concept of balance is learning how to prioritize. It seems that we all have this huge checklist of things to get done and if we can’t check them off we feel an inordinate amount of guilt.   So we all need to sit down with our lists and learn to make what is truly important the priority.

First is our relationship with God.  We first and foremost need to be making time to spend with God.  Even if it’s a few moments of reading scripture and some quick prayers, it will help with your focus and attitude through the day.  Part of our problem is most of us feel the pressure to do every thing awesome.  Our expectation is to have these major bible study times and hour long prayer sessions.  With small children this is probably not a feasibility.  I know of moms who spend their shower time as their prayer time because it is uninterrupted.  The point is this is the first priority, our relationship with God.

The second priority is our marriage.  We are first husband and wife, then parents.  Today’s podcast states it like this marriage is the priority and children the ministry of that marriage.  So often we place our marriage on the altar of parenting.  That cannot be, because the health of the family is gauged by the marriage.  Marriage should be the second priority.  Make sure that you are making time for your spouse.  The third priority may seem obvious but it is actually parenting (training) your children.  It is not what our house looks like or how well they are dressed or that they are involved in all the “right” activities. It is actually raising them.  This may mean that you put the dishes down and read to your toddler.  I have to allow myself to do this with out guilt and remind myself that those dishes will still be there to finish up when he goes to bed.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering!

Jan 01 2019

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Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 1

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Motherhood Is More Challenging Then I Imagined

This week’s topic hits very close to home for me personally as the mother of a two year old.  We are going to talk about how to deal with the overwhelming day to day responsibilities of being a mom.  I can say that I have seen this from all aspects, from ten years working with the teens parents in residential care to the current stage of being around my friends with young children, every mom has days of feeling overwhelmed at the continuous task at hand.. .raising children!

We are going to spend the week talking about how we cope on those days and how we get to the point of choosing to be fulfilled with the awesome job we have been privileged too.  The first thing that we can do is take a step back and analyze our expectations.  Some one once said to me “there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, just a good enough parent.”  I love this quote and every time I think about this it takes a weight off.  Part of a mom’s stress today is the feeling that we are expected to be able to do everything and do it all perfectly, in perfect balance.  From keeping house, bringing in money, pouring into our kids lives, raising spiritual giants, keeping our kids healthy and well exercised, being involved in school and church functions and have time to work out and maintain the perfect body, to name a few.   We can work ourselves into a frenzy trying to keep up this level of balance and order. Take the time to sift through those expectations and cut yourself some slack.  There is no way to maintain this level all the time, something will get the short end of our attention.  We cannot allow it to be actually raising our children!  As we process today some verses that have helped me recently is Luke 9:46-48.

“An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.”

It is a reminder from the only perfect parent, there is nothing greater we can do with our time then serve the “least of these.”  When we do this we are serving Him!

Listen to today’s podcast for more wisdom on this topic!

Dec 31 2018

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iTunes Ratings

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Relevant and practical

By Dayvis23 - Jan 14 2020
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This podcast has a great practical application for parenting in particular with developing great character qualities. It is faith based but side from the faith and spiritual aspects of the podcast, the principles and traits that are talked about at a child psychological level is important to foster in children.

Thank you!!

By Rachied84 - May 17 2018
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A great daily reminder to be an intentional parent!