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The best podcast episodes on romantic relationships. Episodes talk about the 5 love languages, intimacy, and the taboo topics of sexual desires and infidelity. This topic is a deep dive into the science and complexities that face us in our relationships with others. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Read more

The best podcast episodes on romantic relationships. Episodes talk about the 5 love languages, intimacy, and the taboo topics of sexual desires and infidelity. This topic is a deep dive into the science and complexities that face us in our relationships with others. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Love, Sex, and Relationship Systems with Dr. Taylor Burrowes

The Art of Health
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In this podcast with Dr. Taylor Burrowes, we discuss the modern dating marketplace, the mistakes women make, leading with sex, and how to develop better systems for intimacy and vetting

Jun 26 2019

1hr 7mins

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3 ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce | George Blair-West

TED Talks Society and Culture
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Choosing to marry and share your life with someone is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. But with divorce rates approaching fifty percent in some parts of the world, it's clear we could use some help picking a partner. In an actionable, eye-opening talk, psychiatrist George Blair-West shares three keys to preventing divorce -- and spotting potential problems while you're still dating.

Jan 14 2019

11mins

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Episode 7: Conversation with Dr. Sue Johnson

Conversation With Alanis Morissette
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In this podcast, Alanis talks with Dr. Sue Johnson about bonding, attachment, and adult romantic relationships.

Below are the references discussed in this podcast: Hold Me Tight Love Sense The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors

May 04 2016

1hr 5mins

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74: John Gottman - How to Build Trust and Positive Energy in Your Relationship

Relationship Alive!
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What are the keys for building trust, at any stage in your relationship? What can you do to amplify the things that are going right in your relationship? What has research revealed about the secrets that make love last? And what can new parents do to ensure that their relationship stays strong even as it changes with the new addition to the family? On today’s episode, we’re going to hear from one of the world’s foremost experts on how to build a successful relationship - Dr. John Gottman. In his second visit to the Relationship Alive podcast (see Episode 1 for his first visit), John Gottman offers answers to these questions and more expert wisdom on how to take your relationship skills to the next level.

Trust is the core issue for new relationships. People new to their relationships are constantly wondering: Do you have my back? Can I trust you? Will you be there for me? The majority of arguments and conflicts are, at their core, about trust. Trust is absolutely essential to build safety in a relationship (new or old). Trust stems from the ability to think about your partner’s welfare as well as your own, and to work towards maximizing both simultaneously. It is only from this knowing that you are being cared for as much as you are caring for, and being loved and appreciated as much as your are loving and appreciating, that you can withstand the risks, doubts, and conflicts that inevitably arise in partnerships.

Build your trust metric: Trust is something to care take and to cultivate. It is an aspect of the relationship that needs continual attention. One important way to build trust naturally is to listen to your partner’s negative emotions. Really hear them when they are sad, angry, disappointed, etc. Listen with curiosity and openness and respond from this place, rather than from defensiveness or a desire to dismiss. Continual attunement means that at any point you are able to switch and see things through your partner’s perspective with empathy and compassion. Continual attunement not only builds trust, but it nearly immediately de-escalates the you/me tension that leads to criticism, contempt, conflict and disconnection. In fact, with adequate connection and empathy, conflict can be constructive in leading to creative problem solving.

Have each other’s best interest in mind. Adopt the motto “Baby when you are in pain, the world stops, and I listen”. Let your partner know that you are going to be there, even when they are upset with you. Turn the screens off and make time to listen and be with your partner with your whole heart and attention.

Good relationships require trust and commitment. Commitment is absolutely necessary for building safety in a relationship. Commitment is different than trust- commitment is about really saying “you are my journey, I have chosen you and I cherish what I have with you”. Couples that do not build this kind of investment in their relationship, or who make negative comparisons to other relationships, end up betraying the relationship. In fact, this alone is a predictor of infidelity. Check in with yourself frequently and ask yourself if you are thinking that the grass might be greener with someone else, or if you are starting to meet needs outside of the relationship through others. Remember- commitment is about loving THIS person- all the good and the bad.

Choose gratitude instead of resentment. Given that negative comparisons to others begins the cascade to betrayal, be sure to return often to gratitude for all you share, experience, and love about your partner and your relationship. Resentments and conflict are inevitable, however do not let this set the tone of your love. Look for the unique aspects of your partner that you can cherish. During times when you are having a harder time accessing this love, try to be honest. Avoiding conflict and avoiding self-disclosure threatens commitment and leads to infidelity.

Nurture and cherish! Gottman poses that “commitment is about going the extra mile- it means that even when your partner isn’t with you, they are with you in your mind, and that you are really thinking positive things about your partner’s character and the relationship”.  

Invest in the relationship: Make sure that the time you spend with your partner involves 100% of your heart. Be ready and willing to invest and sacrifice for your partner. Dare to care more about their well-being than your own (over time these become one and the same).

Happy and strong couples tend to: Say I love you and mean it! Kiss passionately! Cuddle! Give romantic gifts! Show affection in public! Have a weekly date! Prioritize sex! Stay friends! Make time for each other! In conclusion- they engage in behaviors that foster oxytocin which increases pair bonding, and builds a deep sense of safety.

You can be great friends and great lovers: The essential elements are simple- keep touching each other and keep connecting emotionally.  Learn together, play together, go on adventures together- don’t stop doing those things that you loved doing when you first met.

Don’t underestimate cuddling and kissing! Gottman shares that “kissing is the royal road to great sex”. Kiss each other for no reason, cuddle, be affectionate, say I love you… Bring your sexual connection alive by remembering that we are always on a continuum of exchanging sexual energy. Find opportunities for connection and affection throughout the day- while making coffee, brushing your teeth, etc. Basically, everything positive you do in your relationship is foreplay! Imagine that!  

“The greatest gift you can give your baby is a loving relationship” Don’t let having a baby be a disaster for your relationship! Continue to invest in each other. Use babysitters and family, or trade time with another couple for child care. Get away for overnights. Take long drives. Check in with each other and commit to your connection. Stay friends throughout the difficulty because your relationship is the cradle in which your child will develop- so you want to make sure it is as healthy as possible.

 Make meaning: We humans are meaning makers and storytellers. To thrive in your relationship and to feel that juicy sense of endless connection it is important to create mutual meaning. Ask each other ‘what is our story?, ‘what do we do together that creates meaning in our life?’. While these can feel like existential questions, they are also very concrete. Perhaps lighting candles at dinner feels good, or a shared morning walk, or an adventure now and then… Be intentional with your findings, knowing well that what gives meaning will inevitably change throughout your life together.

Resources:

Learn more about Gottman’s work and find extensive resources on his website

Interested in a workshop or a training? Check out what is happening now!

Read John Gottman’s books

http://www.neilsattin.com/gottman2 Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide to this episode with John Gottman!

Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook

Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of:

The Railsplitters - Check them Out

Jan 18 2017

53mins

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#72 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

The Resilience Prescription with Ryan Caligiuri
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This week Cut The Crap Podcast features the book, "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts," by Gary Chapman.

Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages that we all need to understand and speak.

I took 5 Golden Nuggets away from this book!

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Go to CutTheCrapPodcast.com and signup to receive a summary from each episode that will highlight all of the golden nuggets shared in the podcast.

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Follow Ryan on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and SnapChat.

Apr 24 2017

25mins

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Episode 19: Dating and Mating

Hidden Brain
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It's almost Valentine's Day, but this week we're not talking about love. Instead, we explore the other forces that drive our romantic relationships.

Feb 09 2016

23mins

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Why do people cheat? | Relationship expert Esther Perel talks to Tony about infidelity, intimacy and the danger of expectations

The Tony Robbins Podcast
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Why do people cheat? Even those in happy marriages? And what can affairs help us understand about intimacy?

We tend to think that the act of infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. We judge those who commit transgressions. We shroud them in shame. We dismiss them, label them, categorize them as “cheaters.” And largely, we do so, without a complete understanding of infidelity.

In this episode of the podcast, Tony sits down with world-renowned couples therapist and relationship expert, Esther Perel, to discuss what makes relationships work, what makes them fall apart - and what we aren’t understanding about infidelity.

Esther is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and provocative voices on personal and professional relationships. A celebrated couples therapist who has helmed a private practice in New York City since 1983, she has over three decades experience navigating the intricacies of love and desire. Her international bestseller Mating in Captivity has been translated into twenty-six languages. Perel is a dynamic and provocative speaker on the international stage, with two critically praised TED talks that have reached over 17 million viewers. She has consulted on the Golden Globe-winning Showtime series The Affair and is also Executive Producer and host of the Audible Original Series “Where Should We Begin?”, in which she broadcasts intimate one-off counseling sessions with real-life couples. Perel has been featured in publications across five continents, including the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Le Monde, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and Vogue. She is also a frequent guest on radio and television shows, including NPR’s Brian Lehrer Show, Oprah, The Today Show, Dr. Oz, and The Colbert Report.

Over the past ten years, Esther has traveled the world, working closely with hundreds of couples who are struggling to cope with infidelity. She has seen the devastation such betrayal can cause. And she drew upon these experiences, her research and her expertise to write her latest book: The State of Affairs, where she reveals why even happy people cheat and why we shame those who stay with partners who have been unfaithful.

In this episode, Esther and Tony invite the audience into an honest, enlightened exploration of modern marriage. What you learn may surprise you, as they challenge assumptions, uproot conventional wisdom, and offer a nuanced look at affairs from multiple viewpoints. Even if you have never experienced infidelity in a relationship, odds are you know someone who has. This episode will not only allow you to approach the subject of betrayal with much more empathy and understanding, it will give you a deeper look at our basic human needs, and why we do the things we do when it comes to intimate relationships.

Oct 10 2017

53mins

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How to Save Your Relationship, With Divorce Lawyer James J. Sexton

The Upgrade by Lifehacker
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James J. Sexton is a divorce lawyer who has spent his career working with couples whose marriages are dissolving. He’s learned a lot throughout the years about what sours a good marriage (or ends a relationship that's already in trouble), and now he’s using that knowledge to help the rest of us. His new book is “If You’re In My Office It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together."

Apr 16 2018

40mins

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After ten years, a husband tells his wife he no longer wishes to be married. A month later, stuck in limbo, they come to Esther. She helps them have an honest conversation about their expectations, desires, and the ways in which their role as parents has left little room for intimacy.

Mar 16 2018

51mins

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#280: The Erotic Playbook of a Top-Earning Sex Worker (NSFW)

The Tim Ferriss Show
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Alice Little (@thealicelittle) is considered the #1 top-earning legal sex worker in the United States. She is a 4'8" legal sex worker at Nevada's world famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch. This episode is definitely not suitable for work (NSFW).

In this wide-ranging episode, we cover a lot of ground, including:

  • Technical sex tips
  • How Alice puts people at ease, including adult virgins
  • BDSM and power play
  • Threesome do’s and don’ts, plus the “Big KO” finishing move
  • Her music playlist for getting people into the erotic zone
  • Misconceptions about sex workers and the realities
  • Why "The Girlfriend Experience (GFE)” is her most popular offering
  • How she works with couples who want to explore new boundaries

Alice is also a vocal advocate for legal sex workers and the founder of the political movement "Hookers for Healthcare." Featured on ABC's Nightline, Alice is no stranger to the conversation of sex surrogacy and seeks to shift America's perceptions of sex workers and sex work.

Enjoy!

This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom. I’ve used this service for many of my businesses, as have quite a few of the icons on this podcast — such as Automattic CEO Matt Mullenweg of WordPress fame.

LegalZoom is a reliable resource that more than a million people have already trusted for everything from setting up wills, proper trademark searches, forming LLCs, setting up non-profits, or finding simple cease-and-desist letter templates.

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This podcast is also brought to you by WordPress.com, my go-to platform for 24/7-supported, zero downtime blogging, writing online, creating websites — everything! I love it to bits, and the lead developer, Matt Mullenweg, has appeared on this podcast many times.

Whether for personal use or business, you’re in good company with WordPress.com — used by The New Yorker, Jay Z, Beyonce, FiveThirtyEight, TechCrunch, TED, CNN, and Time, just to name a few. A source at Google told me that WordPress offers “the best out-of-the-box SEO imaginable,” which is probably why it runs nearly 30% of the Internet. Go to WordPress.com/Tim to get 15% off your website today!

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For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.

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Nov 17 2017

2hr 20mins

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