Building Strong Relationships Rooted in Self Love with Vienna Pharaon
Raw Beauty Talks
Hang onto your hearts for today's new episode! We have Vienna Pharaon joining us - a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in New York City, and is the founder of Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She works with individuals, couples, and families within the context of relationships, and focuses on the systems in which people are brought up and exist in today.Today we dive into a conversation about self-love in the relationships that we hold, the number one trending Netflix show - Too Hot to Handle - tips around creating strong relationships, and how COVID has impacted the relationships she's seeing at her desk.Pour yourself a cup of coffee, grab your tea, or your glass of wine, sit down and join Vienna and I for some Raw Talk!
This week I am so excited to share an amazing conversation from a Live webinar I hosted with one of my best friends, Vieanna Pharaon. Vienna is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of New York, practicing out of NYC. Vienna received her Master of Science in Marriage & Family Therapy from Northwestern University and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Center. In this episode we dive deep into dating, red flags, narcissism, unavailability, self-worth and so much more. Grab your pen and paper—this episode is dynamite! Find more about Vienna's work here, and be sure to follow her on Instagram @mindfulmft. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
200: Creating Together in Partnership with Vienna Pharaon and Connor Beaton
“The relationship is a third body.” – Connor Beaton Hey, guys! Welcome back to ONKEN RADIO (previously NION Radio). In this podcast, we explore the body, mind, and soul of the creative entrepreneur. It’s my goal to help you take your creativity, business, and life to the next level. I’m so glad you’re joining me on this journeyThis week we’re talking about couples — with a couple! Vienna Pharaon and Connor Beaton have been guests on podcast episodes 129 and 128, respectively, but that was well before they got engaged! Now they are an official pair, and they work together and separately as therapists. One of the most important topics that we all are interested in is relationships. That’s what both of them focus on together. They’re creating, and they have courses together and separately. Though it might be a mystery to some individuals how intimate and professional relationships can co-exist, the thing is, they can — with the right tools and knowledge, of course!So, today, read on as we talk about co-creating as a couple, what healthy co-working relationships are, and how couples can navigate conflicts. If you’re ready to know what it takes to be successful while in a relationship with your business partner, then this is definitely for you. Without further ado, let’s get started!Who are Vienna Pharaon and Connor Beaton?Vienna Pharaon and Connor Beaton are therapists— and newlyweds!Vienna has been a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York City for over five years. She’s worked with countless individuals, couples, and families to help them strengthen themselves and their relationships. This is what led her to create Mindful Marriage & Family Therapy, where Vienna focuses on helping her clients enhance their emotional well-being to improve their interpersonal relationships. She also works with them to gain insight into the root of their emotional triggers. She and her team also provide necessary tools for their clients to feel more in control of their lives.Meanwhile, Connor is also a fantastic therapist who specializes in doing men’s shadow work. He helps men work with the unknown parts of themselves — the parts that sabotage and get in the way when they’re trying to build healthy relationships or businesses.He is also a man of many talents, having an excellent knowledge of business and personal development. He can work with anyone from any background or culture with ease due to his extensive experience working globally. Connor doesn’t just do online courses, retreats, and one-on-one consultation sessions: he also hosts podcasts. His podcast, Mantalks, offers modern guys advice on how they can evolve into their authentic selves while being accountable for things that matter most.In this episode today, this duo is sharing their years of experience and knowledge in building successful relationships while co-working with romantic partners. You’ll take away so much! Let’s dive in. Co-Creating as a CoupleThere is a specific energy that happens when two people come together in partnership: and it’s not just the romantic kind. For example, when two people with different skills come together to create something, the results are often overwhelmingly positive and may even be life-altering. This energy drives couples or business partners alike to keep creating, as they do their best work when they partner with another individual. This is what Connor saw at the beginning of his relationship with Vienna.“I definitely saw the merit, growth, and expansion for each of us individually within the possibility of working together. And I also saw the impact that we, as a couple, could have in our work that could deepen our impact with people.” – Connor BeatonBut before this can happen, there are struggles that any couple must face. For Connor and Vienna, their contrasting personalities proved to be the most difficult hurdle to come at first.“I was an only child growing up…I’ve been creating and establishing myself in a certain way on my own. And I wanted to do that autonomously. So when Connor started talking about merging certain things, that felt threatening to me.” – Vienna Pharaon The process of creating things together can be a challenge for many couples. Some of us feel like professional boundaries are crossed. At times, insecurities can surface, and we feel like we can’t stop comparing ourselves to our partners. But if we take the time to work through insecurities and communicate openly, many can collaborate successfully. In the case of Connor and Vienna, they were even able to discover something beautiful in each other.“I think the first time I saw Connor work with people, I was pretty blown away. I think my sense of respect really shifted significantly.” – Vienna PharaonThere is indeed power in working together. If we can find a balance, the outcome can be fantastic for both parties involved. This is particularly true for couples who could use their creative assets for something that would have more impact than what they had been doing individually. However, overcoming these obstacles takes time, patience, and a strong commitment from both sides, like all couples do.Alchemizing Together in a PartnershipWe can have such a powerful impact on the world, but it often doesn’t happen without some partnership, —whether it’s a one-on-one partnership or a bigger group collaboration. It won’t always come easy, but it’s very much possible.Just like Vienna and Connor, they were able to push against their own insecurities. As a result, they were able to work together for the greater good. Their secret? They can alchemize their relationship both personally and professionally. Some of the learnings we can all take from them include the following.#1: Setting BoundariesSetting clear boundaries can help keep couples focused on their goals and manage stress when things come along that throw off a part of their plans. Vienna explains why this should be important to any couple who wants to create or build something professional together.“I honestly think that most of this comes down to the clarity that we are individuals first. Then, we shift into this relationship.” – Vienna PharaonFor example, setting clear boundaries and structures in a professional relationship with a romantic partner or close friend might mean ensuring that the partner is on board with what’s been planned before rolling out a big project. It can even be as simple as knowing who needs to call this person or charge the camera batteries. In this way, they can understand what the parameters are and still be creative without sacrificing their personal and intimate relationship together.Connor also thinks the same way about the importance of structures in relationships. According to him:“In a relationship, there’s you, there’s me. Then there’s a relationship, which is the third body. But before this can happen, a person needs to reflect and internally identify what they need to operate in this dynamic. It’s crucial to know what they value and the boundaries they need to set. In this case, they would still feel tended to and taken care of.” – Connor BeatonLike Connor and Vienna, I also believe that too often, when couples start a working relationship together, that working relationship can begin to consume what was the intimacy of their romantic relationship. This happens as work and personal lives overlap, and their life as a couple gets lost. Connor gives a few practical pieces of advice to avoid this scenario from happening.“Create some boundaries around when to discuss work. Also, make sure to carve out a lot of time to protect the intimacy of the relationship. For Vienna and me, we go on dates where we wouldn’t talk about courses or events and just focus on ourselves.” – Connor Beaton#2: Be Wary of CodependencyWhether it’s co-working or marriage, Connor and Vienna give their thoughts on codependency. For Connor, he sees codependency as a way of outsourcing emotional care — confidence, worth, value — because we don’t want to contact the deeper part of ourselves.Thus, to work through a person’s tendency to co-depend, Connor reminds us of the importance of intimacy.“The etymology of intimacy is a Greek word, intimus, which means innermost. So the origins of intimacy is ‘into me, I see.’…It really is about diving into our origins and our pain. ” – Connor BeatonHis perspective resonates with how his wife, Vienna, looks into understanding personal relationships. For Vienna, the way individuals act in their adulthood is all an extension of the real fabric of an individual and their origin stories. She sees these stories as something that stems out from our childhood.“We are very attuned as children. We want to make the system function, lessen the load and relieve the system. I think relief is an essential word when we talk about codependency. There’s an attempt at relieving something that’s going on or someone who’s struggling. If I can relieve you, then you’ll stay close to me. If I can relieve you, then you’ll love me more. There’s a loop that happens there, and that loop obviously comes along with us.” – Vienna PharaonThe danger of codependency lies in the possibility of the relationship diminishing when couples outsource their self-worth or safety to each other. There is also that thwarted sense of sacrifice, where one diminishes themselves to be responsible for somebody else’s emotional capacity or incapacity. Both hinder individuation and sovereignty, which are crucial in one’s creative space and ability to live life to the fullest. Thus, as a partner, whether in a professional or personal venture, it is our responsibility as co-creators to offer a supportive, listening presence. We can, however, alchemize this situation by being aware of boundaries and self-care practices for ourselves while remembering an opportunity to generate new ideas or connections in the process.Navigating Through ConflictsIn the process of co-creating, there will inevitably be conflicts. It may happen in one’s own head or with the other person. Disputes can arise from different opinions on approaching the situation, differing levels of commitment, and time invested into projects worked together. Thus, to navigate through these scenarios properly, Vienna and Connor suggest the tips below.#1: Don’t try and solve conflict when you’re in conflict.Connor and Vienna emphasize the importance of not doing anything with too much intensity when in conflict. Connor explains in detail:“There are two types of conflict: generative conflict, which turns into connection and intimacy, and the conflict that is going to deteriorate …the intimacy and the connection of the relationship.” – Connor BeatonWhen couples start to work together, many things will naturally begin to come forward: insecurities, control mechanisms, lack of safety or trust, or whatever the case may be. Though we may be tempted, he suggests that taking time for ourselves and creating space between each other is the better path to take. It gives room for reflection by allowing yourself to process your emotions before getting back to discussing what just happened.#2: Prioritize self-regulation.When conflict comes up, there’s always a tendency for us to tell our other half, “You’re angry, you need to calm down,” or, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” or, “You always do this or say that.” According to Connor, though, it doesn’t really help in the process of conflict resolution.Instead, when we say things like this, our partner ends up shutting down completely to protect themselves. Other times, they’ll start to criticize the other person’s reactivity, which only lengthens the process.Thus, he advises that we need to wage war and reel in the nets to ourselves to prioritize self-regulation in those moments. As we begin doing so, this may create a safe space for our partners to express their emotions without feeling like they have no choice but to react.#3: Create agreements on how you are going to deal with conflict. One of the best ways to make a relationship healthy is to deal with conflict in an open, honest, and constructive way. Thus, couples may also come up with a structure and agreement on how to deal with conflicts.“Most couples have shared values that they know about, but the majority of them don’t have agreements on how to deal with conflict … I’ve found that in most cases, when there’s structure, conflicts turn into humor or intimacy, or love. It can even be like learning a deeper understanding of one another.” – Connor BeatonConnor’s words helped me realize what Conflict Alchemy means. In his words: “It’s transmuting conflict into something generative.” This transformation may take years and might require a third party to make it work. Still, it is worth it if you want your relationship and partnership to be successful. Be a Creative Alchemist With Vienna Pharaon and Connor BeatonAlchemy is defined as taking something ordinary and turning it into something extraordinary, sometimes in a way that cannot be explained.With that being said, I define Identity Alchemy as the process of deconstructing who you don’t want to be to create who you want to become.Through it, you’ll be able to identify your shadows and shed them slowly. I believe that the deconstruction process of life and your inner world is such a massive part of understanding who you are, so you can curate everything you need to become the person you want to become. In general, I noticed that the more inner work I do — the more profound shadow work I do to understand myself — the better life becomes, and the closer I feel to wholeness.There’s an alchemy in how we co-create when we have a partner. This is a path that’s not too easy as, at times, we might be forced to take a look at our shadows or parts of ourselves that we don’t want to see. However, this doesn’t mean that we should get discouraged with the process of co-creating. On the contrary, it means that we’re humans and we’re not alone in our life’s creative journey. Hopefully, the tools given by Connor and Vienna can help us create a better life individually and together.Today, I would also like everyone to know that my identity alchemy course is coming up. It aims to create a congruent personal brand from the inside of your inner world to the outer visuals you’re building through photography, video, and design. Also, as you might know, my creative outlet is making hats. People are buying hats and booking photoshoots, and it’s becoming a whole thing, which has been really exciting. So if you want to check out all the fun designs, Instagram is at @onkenhat. Also, thank you so much for checking out today’s episode! If you enjoyed it as much as I did, make sure to share it on Instagram! Don’t forget to tag Vienna @mindfulmft, Connor @connor.beaton, and me, @nickonken. You may also check out more of Vienna’s work at her website, and finally, make sure to listen to Connor’s podcast and visit his website, too!Also, make sure to leave me a five-star review on Apple Podcasts so that I can share this with more Creative Alchemists like you!Remember, being a Creative Alchemist can happen even while co-working and in partnerships.Until next time —Nick Onken You can Subscribe and Listen to the Podcast on Apple Podcasts. And please leave me a Rating and Review! “When we’re in conflict, there’s an opportunity to learn something new about the self and the other.” – Vienna Pharaon Some things we learn in this podcast: When did Connor and Vienna first work together [11:40] How can couples work together [13:30] How do you balance a relationship and a work relationship [15:00] How does codependency hold people back [28:10] What is individuation [28:30] What makes a healthy relationship [32:00] How to deal with codependency [35:00] What is the difference between codependency and sovereignty [39:00] How to navigate conflict [52:35] What is fawning [55:40] What is conflict alchemy [1:06:20] Links Mentioned: Listen to ONKEN radio Episode 128: Vienna Pharaon – Unpacking Your Inner World for Better Relationships Listen to ONKEN radio Episode 129: Connor Beaton – How Personal Growth Catalyzes Your Creativity Onken Hat Connect with Vienna and Connor on Twitter | Vienna on Instagram | Connor on Instagram | New York Couples Counseling
The first few months of having a child turn your world upside down. Full stop. This week, I had my incredible wife Vienna on the show to cover all the angles of our recent entry into parenting—my experience, her experience, our experiences of each other. Our joys, concerns, projections, and all the other things we had to navigate surrounding (as Stephen Jenkinson puts it) becoming “parent-lings”. Full disclosure: This. Is. Real. Talk. Listen in and let us know what you thought! Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for. Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. Check out our Facebook Page or the Men's community. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Editing & Mixing by: Aaron The TechSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Vienna Pharaon - How To Make Decisions As A Couple
Welcome to 2021! This is a deep, compelling episode—yeah, I may be biased, but I swear it’s true! My incredible wife Vienna and I break down how we navigated this past year as individuals and as a couple. We use what our past year to reflect on making effective decisions in relationship, clinging to expectations, surrender, vulnerability, and what building real trustworthiness looks like. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for. Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. Check out our Facebook Page or the Men's community. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Editing & Mixing by: Aaron The TechSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Catherine is here today with Vienna Pharaon. Vienna Pharaon is one of New York City’s top licensed Marriage and Family Therapists and the founder of the @MindfulMFT community on Instagram, where her teaching reaches over 500K readers daily. She has a Master of Science in Marriage & Family Therapy from Northwestern University, and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Center.Through her practice, Mindful Marriage & Family Therapy, Vienna offers a systemic and collaborative approach to help her clients identify their patterns, explore their story, and create healthier goals.She looks at people and their relationships through the lens of their family systems and believes that understanding origin stories is crucial in healing and transformation.She has been featured on The Economist, Netflix, Vogue, and Men’s Health, and spoken on stages around the world. Vienna is recognized as one of the great relationship influencers of our time.Find Out More About Vienna PharaonVisit Vienna's WebsiteFollow Vienna Pharaon on FacebookConnect with Vienna on Twitter @MindfulMFTFollow Vienna on Instagram @mindfulmftIt’s now time to tune into this one very inspirational human being. Enjoy!!
Weekly Training - Transition, Change, and Moving Through Crisis (with Vienna Pharaon)
By the time you listen to this, my incredible wife Vienna and I will be on the road, heading into a new chapter of our lives. It seemed like the perfect time to talk about “moving” through crisis (see what I did there?). Because, like so many of our friends, clients, and listeners, the last several months threw a lot of plans into disarray. So we sat down together to discuss clinging to expectations, navigating “forced change”, and the lessons we’ve learned from transition points in our own lives. As we mentioned in the show, we’d like to do a part 2 to this mini-episode where we both take on your questions! Leave a rating or review, and hit us up on Instagram (@mantalks or @mindfulmft) with your questions about transition, change, and moving through crisis. Connect with Vienna Insta: @mindfulmft Twitter: @mindfulmft Website: http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/about/vienna-pharaon/ Are you looking to find your purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. Check out our Facebook Page or the Men's community. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Did you enjoy the podcast? If so please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. It helps our podcast get into the ears of new listeners, which expands the ManTalks Community Editing & Mixing by: Aaron The TechSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
How to Use Conflict to Improve Relationships + Tips on Dealing with Divorce (Interview with Relationship Expert and Therapist Vienna Pharaon)
CLEANING UP THE MENTAL MESS with Dr. Caroline Leaf
Relationships can be challenging, even after they have ended. This is especially true when dealing with a divorce or family separation—in your or in the life of a family member or loved one. In this podcast, I speak with licensed marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon about how divorce affect our mental and physical wellbeing and how we connect with others, why it is so important to give ourselves the mental space to deal with the pain associated with a divorce or separation, why we need to work on our past if we want better relationships in the present, and the power of healthy conflict in a relationship. For more on Vienna and to sign up for her excellent online course, Get The Love You Want visit http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/virtual-offerings/. You can get $50 off this course with the code "DISCOUNT50" Vienna can be found on instagram @mindfulmft Read the show blog here: https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/how-to-use-conflict-to-improve-relationships-tips-on-dealing-with-divorce-interview-with-relationship-expert-and-therapist-vienna-pharaon Special offers from our sponsors: -Blinkist (my favorite reading app): To get your free week on Blinkist AND up to 25% off your subscription click here -NOOM (the best healthy habit company): For your NOOM special offer see: https://noom/drleaf Podcast Highlights 2:08 Why Vienna loves being a marriage and family therapist 6:27 How can we deal with divorce and heal ourselves? 17:30 How your past can impact your present 23:55 How do you recognize when you are not integrated as a person? 31:00 The power of conflict to improve any relationship 36:00 How can you help parents and families going through a divorce? Additional resources: -Sign up to join my free text program and receive mental health care tips and strategies, exclusive offers and more! Just text DRLEAF to 1 (833) 285 3747 (*Only available for U.S numbers at this time) -Get my new brain detox app SWITCH on sale now! Get 50% off a 3 month subscription. Just look for Switch on Your Brain in the App Store or Google Play or visit: https://theswitch.app -Visit my website at https://drleaf.com for more free resources. Follow me on social media for daily mental self-care tips! -Instagram: @drcarolineleaf -Facebook: Dr. Caroline Leaf -Twitter: @drcarolineleaf -Youtube If you enjoyed this episode please leave a 5 review on iTunes, Google Play, or wherever you are listening! And don't forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends and family! I love seeing your posts on social media! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This conversation blew my mind — and my heart — wide open. Vienna Pharaon is recognized as one of the great relationship influencers of our time. In this episode, she reveals her expert strategies for healing trauma, nurturing trust, and building the thriving, sexy, rock-solid relationship you’ve always dreamed of. If you want your love to last (or if you want to be ready for it when it comes your way!) this is an absolute must listen.Head to https://melissaambrosini.com/305 for full episode resources and more inspiring weekly episodes.This episode is brought to you by BLUblox. Head to www.BLUblox.com now and enter the code MELISSA for 15% off your order.See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
*Top Episode Series* Vienna Pharaon: The Process of Transformation
Real Rebel Podcast
For the next month, things are going to be a bit different over here at the RRP. *enter dramatic music* In order to open up some creative space and forward some new ideas for the RRP Crew, I'm launching the "Top Episode Series". Regular programming will commence, so you'll still get your Audio Coffee episodes on Mondays, and your Guest Episodes on Wednesdays, however for the next 30-days they'll be the best of the best. The top 4 episodes of all time in each category. Very much looking forward to coming back with some fresh energy, ideas, and offers for all of you incredible humans! Lots and lots of love as always, Your Host - Katie B __________ On this episode, I talk with Vienna Pharaon a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who practices out of her own private practice Mindful Marriage & Family Therapy in Manhattan, New York. You also might know Vienna as the Relationship Expert behind the well-known @mindfulmft account on Instagram. What I love most about Vienna, and what was abundantly clear throughout this episode, is that she is genuine in her desire to support couples and individuals through the process of transformation. She truly believes that her clients have the capacity to create beautiful, long-lasting change. This is exactly why I wanted to dig into the process of change and why it can be such a struggle. We talk about her personal transformation, why we sometimes get stuck, how to release ourselves from those stuck places and much more. This is the first guest episode of 2020, an entirely new decade and an invitation to do things differently this time. What better way to usher in the new year with a deep conversation around the power and process of transformation.