Can you prevent addiction? Or alcoholism? After all, no one dreams of taking their son to rehab. Or arguing with him, repeatedly, about his use of pot, alcohol or meth. When our babies are little, we tell ourselves that if we do everything right, our sons can avoid alcoholism and addiction. But that’s simply not true. 24% of 8th graders have had at least 1 drink by 8th grade. — and about 50% of those drink heavily. Boys may be particularly at risk: according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, children who struggle in school when they are between ages 7-9 are more likely to be using addictive substances by age 14 or 15. Genetics account for approximately 50-60% of an individual’s risk of developing a substance use disorder. But no matter your sons’ genetic legacy, the positive parenting strategies you use to help your son thrive can also protect him from substance use disorder. “Genetics is not destiny,” says Jessica Lahey, author of The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence . “What I want people to understand is that if we know the risks, and are really clear-eyed about the risks, we can more specifically target our prevention.” Inoculation theory, Jessica says, tells us that teaching our kids, empowering them, and building their self-efficacy skills can effectively decrease their chances of succumbing to peer pressure — especially if we also teach them “scripts” they can use to gracefully decline substances. In this episode, Jen, Janet & Jessica discuss: Risk for factors of addiction and substance use disorders Balancing a child’s risk of developing substance use disorder with protective factor The role of silence and dishonestly is perpetuating substance use disorders How (or IF) to talk about your use drug or substance use The link between trauma, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and addiction How to talk about substance use with kids of all ages Helping your child resist peer pressure & say no Explaining the difference between adult alcohol and substance use and child/adolescent use How teens weigh risk (Spoiler: they weigh the possible positive consequences of substance use more heavily than the possible negative consequences) How puberty, drugs, & alcohol affect kids’ brain chemistry Why saying “yes” to novel or risky activities may decrease the chances of your boys using substances Should you let kids drink with the family? Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, by Jessica Lahey The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Can Learn to Let Go So Their Children Success — Jessica’s 2016 New York Times best-selling book jessicaleahy.com — Jessica’s website; includes links to to her upcoming (virtual) speaking gigs CDC info on ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) — discussed at 9:40 The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity, by Nadine Burke Harris (mentioned at 10:40) To Raise a Boy (w Emma Brown) — ON BOYS episode (mentioned at 12:35) Boys & Sex (w Peggy Orenstein) — ON BOYS episode (mentioned at 18:23)
Jessica Lahey on Preventing Substance Abuse in Kids
The Rich Roll Podcast
How do we equip kids with the tools they need to avoid substance abuse? How can we identify a teen who is at risk? And what can be done to prevent our young ones from developing dependency issues?Every parent is haunted by these questions, myself included. To get answers, I did what you do when you host a podcast—I turn to the experts. Meet Jessica Lahey.Returning for her second appearance on the show, Jess is a graduate of the University of Massachusetts with a J.D. concentrating on juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina. She’s an English and writing teacher, a commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and The New York Times. Best known as the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure—a non-negotiable must read for every parent and the focus of our first podcast (RRP #282)—Jess also co-hosts the popular #AmWriting podcast alongside fellow podcast alum KJ Dell’Antonia (RRP #396). But the primary focus of today’s discussion is her hot off the press second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence.This is a conversation about how to have those difficult conversations with your kids about alcoholism and drug addiction.It’s about how to effectively guide our young ones through the perils of substance exploration, dependency, and abuse.And most of all, it’s about arming parents with invaluable, evidence-based strategies and practical tools helpful in raising, supporting, and educating resilient, addiction-resistant children.To read more click here. You can also watch our exchange on YouTube. And as always, the podcast streams wild and free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.As someone who has done battle with the demons of alcoholism, and as a dad of four delicately parenting two teens, this terrain isn’t just a useful lens on developmental psychology, it’s of particular personal pertinence.Whether or not you’re a parent, chances are there’s at least one young person in your life currently in jeopardy for substance dependence. It’s thus incumbent upon all of us to better understand the nature of that risk—and how to effectively guide the young ones among us towards safe harbor.May this conversation serve that purpose—because Jess understands the delicate nature of this dynamic better than anyone I know.Peace + Plants,Listen, Watch & SubscribeApple Podcasts | YouTube | Spotify | Stitcher | Google PodcastsThanks to this week’s sponsorsCalm: The app designed to help you ease stress and get the best sleep of your life with guided meditations, sleep stories, and more. Right now, my listeners can get a special limited-time promotion of 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at calm.com/richroll. It includes unlimited access to ALL of Calm’s amazing content. Get started today!Blinkist: Unlimited access to read or listen to a massive library of condensed non-fiction books from self-help, to business, health, and history—all for one low price. Join me and 12 million others gleaning from the best and brightest. Try Blinkist FREE for 7 days AND get 25% off a Blinkist Premium membership at blinkist.com/richrollTen Thousand: The world’s most durable training shorts, built for your needs and designed for performance. Packed with tech features like anti-chafe, anti-odor, and no-bounce phone pockets, these are hands down the best training shorts I’ve ever worn. Save 20% OFF your first pair with the promo code “RICHROLL” at tenthousand.ccVivobarefoot is on a mission to make perfect footwear for humans and the planet, with a great range of shoes for kids and adults, and for every activity from hiking to training and daily wear. Wearing barefoot shoes is a profound transformation. To reconnect with natural movement, go to vivobarefoot.com/richroll and use the code RICHROLL to get 20% off your order.For a complete list of all RRP sponsors and their respective vanity url's and discount codes, visit my Resources page and click "Sponsors".SHOW NOTESConnect with Jessica: Website | Instagram | Twitter | FacebookPodcast: #AmWritingBook: The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of DependenceBook: The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can SucceedThe Wall Street Journal: How to Talk to Your Child About Drugs and AlcoholThe Atlantic: Stories by Jessica LaheyThe New York Times: How to Help Your Child Succeed at SchoolThe New York Times: Teenagers, Dealing With Addiction, on What Might Have HelpedThe Washington Post: Fewer teens are drinking. But a group of pediatricians is begging parents to be vigilant.The Washington Post: Back to school in a pandemic: A guide to all the factors keeping parents and educators up at nightThe Washington Post: My third-grader was remote learning in a pandemic. I wasn’t going to worry about a C- in PE.The Boston Globe: 4 ways families can find silver linings from this terrible pandemic yearFor 1000s of delicious, customized plant-based recipes & so much more, check out our Plantpower Meal PlannerHOW CAN I SUPPORT THE PODCAST?Tell Your Friends & Share Online!Subscribe & Review: iTunes | Spotify | Stitcher | Soundcloud | Google PodcastsDonate: Check out our Patreon accountSupport The Sponsors: One of the best ways to support the podcast is to support our sponsors. For a complete list of all RRP sponsors and their respective vanity url's and discount codes, visit my Resources page and click "Sponsors".Thank The Team: I do not do this alone. Send your love to Jason Camiolo for production, audio engineering and show notes; Margo Lubin and Blake Curtis for video, editing and graphics; portraits by Ali Rogers & Davy Greenberg; copywriting by Georgia Whaley; and theme music by Tyler Piatt. Trapper Piatt & Hari Mathis.*Disclosure: Books and products denoted with an asterisk are hyperlinked to an affiliate program. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Ep 88: The Addiction Inoculation with Best-Selling Author and Educator Jessica Lahey.
Raising Good Humans
This episode talks about what parents can do to raise kids with healthy attitudes and behaviors when it comes to substances. www.Pipettebaby.com for 30% off with code HUMANS www.AncientNutrition.com with code HUMANS for 20% off your purchase; or to revitalize your joints, skin and hair, use code HUMANS for 20% off at store.draxe.com And find your next discovery at www.Jane.com/HUMANS Show Notes: www.jessicalahey.com Produced by Dear Media
359: Setting kids up for an addiction-free life with NYT best-selling author and Mom Jessica Lahey
The We Turned Out Okay Podcast
Greetings! In today's conversation my guest, Jessica Lahey, and I discuss some big and weighty issues… This would be a good episode to listen to away from sensitive ears or wearing headphones. (It's an awesome episode, just awesome for us grown-ups : ) I feel an immense sense of gratitude to Jess for coming back on the show (she is a returning champion! Click this link to listen to our first conversation: https://weturnedoutokay.com/054.) Jess is the author of the new book The Addiction Inoculation (which you can order by clicking here! Squee!) Her ideas on educating kids, fostering a sense of trust while keeping children accountable to themselves, and her fearless examination of her own journey with substance abuse are what my gratitude is based in. But Jess brings so much more to our conversation. She's funny, not afraid to laugh at herself, and super supportive of her audience, her family, and fellow writers. Talking with Jess is a learning opportunity about: – What gaslighting is and how it hurts children – How we can protect our kids against addiction – How we can develop the most important habits (spoiler: it's through play and gamifying) ALSO! It's the first in our new segment, Triumphs & Misdemeanors, where we get to hear your voices and either celebrate how you have knocked it out of the park – or commune with you if you share an epic fail… Listen after my conversation with Jess to hear today's Triumph, and so you can write down the phone number and contribute your own Triumph, or Misdemeanor! Click weturnedoutokay.com/359 to view this conversation in video, and for the bazillion links too! Key Links Click here for Jess's new book, The Addiction Inoculation – you are going to love it! Celebrate my birthday with me on Monday evening April 19! I'm hosting a Wisdom/Insight Party, the chance to be in community together, learn from each other and support each other after more than a year in the pandemic. It's completely free with no strings attached. Just come and enjoy! Invitations are going out to those of you signed up for my free newsletter, so click this link to sign up: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly Click this link for the masterclass I'm teaching, "What's the pandemic doing to my child?"… https://weturnedoutokay.com/pandemicclass Click here for Jess's blog post, "Something Had to Give," about the alcohol addiction she confronted as she started writing her NYT bestseller, The Gift of Failure Click here for the book Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker Click this link for my conversation with Ingrid Ali and Hamilton Graziano, the biracial couple Ben and I struck up a friendship with while we were on our second honeymoon, and they were on their first: https://weturnedoutokay.com/176 Click here for the Being Black at School organization begin by Kelly Wickham Hearst To help black children not feel gaslit Click here for the show Hot Ones with Sean Evans Click here for Shane Lopez's book, Making Hope Happen Click here for the documentary Follow Through, about a student of Jess's Click here for On Being 40 (ish) , and anthology which includes a piece from Jess Click here for the #AmWriting episode where Jess and cohost KJ brought me onto their show! Click here for OkayCon 2020, the Free virtual Summit, where I brought you 10 great conversations about getting through the pandemic (recorded in March and April 2020). Get my first book FREE… It's called Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, and parents find it extremely helpful in getting good behavior from their kids! Click this link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/pdnt Thank you so much for listening today! You rock! ______ This episode is located on the web at: https://weturnedoutokay.com/358
For those listeners who have children, you know they are your biggest source of joy as well as your biggest source of worry and it has never been more true than during this pandemic since we have been closer to our children than we ever expected to be. How do we know if we are handling situations right? In today’s episode, Dr. Josh King welcomes Jessica Lahey, a teacher, writer, and speaker, to talk about what is the best practice to helping your children grow into independent adults during the pandemic and beyond. Key Takeaways: [2:15] Jessica shares how her family has been doing during the pandemic. [4:50] Are children getting what they need during the pandemic? [6:58] Learn to parent in a more effective way. [10:20] The pandemic brought teachers into every child’s home. [11:30] Jessica talks about her book The Gift of Failure. [15:07] Allowing your kids to struggle is tough work for parents. [18:12] Helping your children to develop positive adaptive responses to failure. [20:04] How does it look to let your kids struggle? Explain the why, show how to, and let them do it their way. [25:20] Shifting parents from a punish paradigm to a reinforcement style, how can parents use praise to help change behaviors? [27:43] Focus more on the process and less on the product. [28:56] Jessica talks about the research on extrinsic motivation. [30:04] We should aim for intrinsic motivation, but how to achieve it? [31:30] Online learning is a learned skill. [35:10] Jessica shares her opinion about parents and control. [38:30] Parents need to find a new way of engaging. [41:00] Jessica talks about parenting children struggling with substance abuse. [46:30] Parents need to learn to sit with their own anxiety. [48:46] Jessica explains why shutting down your child’s friendships never turns out the way that is expected. [50:11] How to find natural consequences? [53:38] Jessica talks about her new book that is about to be launched. Mentioned in this Episode: The Beyond Addiction Show Center for Motivation and Change Center for Motivation and Change on Facebook Center for Motivation and Change on Twitter Center for Motivation and Change on Linkedin Email Dr. Josh King at email@example.com or tweet him at @DocJoshKing The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, by Jessica Lahey Jessica Lahey Jessica Lahey on Twitter Jessica Lahey on Instagram Jessica Lahey YouTube Channel Tweetables and Quotes: “Extrinsic rewards affect children’s motivation and learning.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing “If you smooth the path for your children it limits their way to become autonomous.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing “Giving children extrinsic motivators over the long term does not boost motivation; on the contrary they undermine it.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing “Online learning is a skill that needs to be learned.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing “Align yourself with your children, get to know about their feelings.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing
Parent Compass: How Failure is a Good Experience for Kids with Guest Jessica Lahey
Smart Social Podcast: Keeping students safe so they can Shine Online
Jessica talks about the damaging effects of "outcome love"--the kind of love that shows up when kids have accomplished something. She encourages parents instead to focus on the long haul--on the learning and the growth that kids experience throughout their childhood and adolescence. She gives great advice on developing positive relationships with teachers, expressing gratitude, and even the benefits of quitting. About our guest: Jessica is an educator, speaker, and writer. She has been an English, Latin, and writing teacher in middle and high school for more than a decade and writes the biweekly “Parent-Teacher Conference” advice column for the NYT, is a contributing writer at the Atlantic, and appears as a commentator on Vermont Public Radio. About our co-hosts: Jenn Curtis, MSW, Educational Consultant, author, and speaker, owner of FutureWise Consulting. Cindy Muchnick, MA, Educational Consultant, author, and speaker. Check out their new book, The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen's Wellness and Academic Journey in Today's Competitive World: www.parentcompassbook.com Join our free newsletter: https://smartsocial.com/newsletter/ Take one of our 30+ additional courses on the latest teen apps: https://learn.smartsocial.com/ Download the Smart Social app: https://smartsocial.com/app Learn the top 100 popular teen apps: https://smartsocial.com/app-guide-par... View the top parental control software: https://smartsocial.com/parental-cont... Learn the top Teen Slang, Emojis & Hashtags: https://smartsocial.com/teen-slang-em... Get ideas for offline activities for your students: https://smartsocial.com/offline-activ... Subscribe to our podcast on: Apple Podcasts: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i... Google Podcasts: https://play.google.com/music/listen?... Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/SafeSmar... Download the Smart Social app https://smartsocial.com/smart-social-... Learn the top 100 popular teen apps: https://smartsocial.com/app-guide-par... Schools & Educators: Schedule a free phone consultation to get ideas on how to protect your students and community https://smartsocial.com/hire-us/
The Science of Success: Are You Worried About Your Kids Failing? You Need To Listen To This Talk with Jessica Lahey
Hand Curated Episodes for learning by OwlTail
Published on 23 May 2019. In this episode we discuss the important difference between competence and confidence and look at the dangers of focusing too much on building up your self esteem. We explore the “gift of failure” and why, sometimes, it’s better to let children fail than to try and make them feel better. We learn why frustration is a vital and important piece of the learning process, why we must consider the inevitability of failure, and we uncover “one of the most powerful teaching tools” you can use to learn, grow, and improve with our guest Jessica Lahey.Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and author. She is an expert contributor for The Atlantic and the New York Times, and is the author of the New York Times bestseller, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is also a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board.The trajectory of parenting today into “overparenting” is dangerous and worrisome Propping up kids self confidence and telling them how wonderful they are has done children a serious disservice Kids today are more anxious, less interested in taking risks, less interested in learning, and less interested in being brave. They don’t have any experience trying and screwing things up and learning how to do things better. There has been a big drop-off in interest in learning, motivation for learning, and self awareness - all because of the self esteem movementWhen the vision of them being super talented doesn’t match up with their reality - having struggles and problems, which are inevitable - the disconnect creates serious problems for kids and erodes their trust in their parents. Kids become confused. At an early age - turn it around and ask your kids “What do YOU think?” Instead of just telling them they are brilliant. Help them build an internal compass for quality. To succeed - kids must be able to take feedback.It never gets easy to withhold praise from your kids and give them real feedback - but it’s vitally important. Emphasize the PROCESS over the END PRODUCT in what you praise 90% of kids feel like we love them more when they bring home high grades. The dangers of “outcome love” or “performance love” and why its highly destructive to kids on an emotional levelWhen your kids fail - that’s not the end point, that's the starting point for learning. Are you a parent listening to this who says “but I really do care about results, I care about grades” not this other BS - what should you do?How can we redesign our schools and learning system to focus on mastery instead of cramming and playing games?Kids feel like they can’t take to their parents when their parents become super fixated on grades. Focus on the long term - how do you want to shape your kids in the future? Not just this one particular grade or issue. Be an “autonomy supportive parent” and focus on preparing your kids to handle this particular challenge or problem NEXT TIME not just this immediate moment or problemWhy frustration is a vital and important piece of the learning process. Support your kids frustration and let them learn to direct themselves. What is “desirable difficulty?” And why is it “one of the most powerful teaching tools” we have?Kids who can’t be frustrated fall apart whenever they face difficulty. The way to overcome learned helplessness is to give your children autonomy and control. The reality is that failure is inevitable - and it's very dangerous to make our kids brittle in the face of a difficult and challenging world.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Fresh Take: Jessica Lahey on "The Gift of Failure"
What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood
In our latest “Fresh Take” episode, we've got an interview with Jessica Lahey, author of the bestseller THE GIFT OF FAILURE: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. The Gift of Failure came out in 2016, when giving our kids healthy doses of autonomy and outdoor exploration felt a little more possible. But even during pandemic life, there are opportunities for us to be less protective as parents and to let our kids learn by failing.Jess tells us how to apply the book’s ideas to pandemic life, at-home learning, and living together 24/7.Jess also tells us a little about her next book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, coming in April 2021. We can't wait! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Back to School (Part II) - ft. Jessica Lahey and Dr. Jon Goldin
Living Well hosted by Mark Henick
With kids going back to school, or having already started, a slate of new concerns and anxieties have arisen with respect to ongoing pandemic-related restrictions. Mark talks with teacher and New York Times bestselling author Jessica Lahey about how the new school landscape is impacting parents and teachers. Then, Mark is joined by child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Jon Goldin to talk about the mental health impacts on kids.
Ask Daily Stoic: Ryan and Jessica Lahey Talk Parenting, the Process of Writing, and How to Fail Gracefully
The Daily Stoic
In today’s episode, Ryan and author and teacher Jessica Lahey talk about how to teach your kids to fail, the process of putting together a book, and more.Sign up for The Stoic Parent, Daily Stoic’s newest course, today: http://dailystoic.com/stoicparentJessica Lahey is the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She has written for The New York Times and The Atlantic and has taught middle and high school for over a decade. Get The Gift of Failure: https://geni.us/R8mA4This episode is brought to you by GoMacro. GoMacro is a family-owned maker of some of the finest protein bars around. They're vegan, non-GMO, and they come in a bunch of delicious flavors—the perfect fuel for your summer expeditions. Visit http://gomacro.com and use promo code STOIC for 30% off your order over $60, plus free shipping.This episode is also brought to you by the Theragun. The new Gen 4 Theragun is perfect for easing muscle aches and tightness, helping you recover from physical exertion, long periods of sitting down, and more—and its new motor makes it as quiet as an electric toothbrush. Try the Theragun risk-free for 30 days, starting at just $199. ***If you enjoyed this week’s podcast, we’d love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps with our visibility, and the more people listen to the podcast, the more we can invest into it and make it even better.Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/signupFollow @DailyStoic:Twitter: https://twitter.com/ryanholidayInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanholiday/Facebook: http://facebook.com/ryanholidayYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/dailystoicFollow Jessica Lahey: Twitter: https://twitter.com/jesslaheyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey/