Jim Fleckenstein's guest appearances

Jim Fleckenstein

Loving Without Boundaries

Business Innovators Radio

Better Sex

Mariah Freya

Kathy Slaughter

Jeff Abraham

Lacey Broussard

Martha Kauppi

Laurie Mintz

Justin Lehmiller

Damona Hoffman

Marni Battista

Jessa Zimmerman

Brodie Welch

Michael Conroy

Stan Tatkin

Shadeen Francis

August McLaughlin

OwlTail

EPISODE 148: Interview with Jim Fleckenstein. Jim Fleckenstein became a relationship coach and educator because of his own life experiences. After the end of his 25-year marriage in 2000, he put the skills he’d gained from his successful non-profit career and his insatiable curiosity to work on relationships. He began a rigorous self-education process that included reaching out personally to leading researchers. His efforts quickly bore fruit. He created an organization that focuses on self-education, scientific research, and helping people have successful relationships. Along the way, Jim developed a unique approach to relationships based on proven methods he encountered over his years of study. Ultimately, he formalized this approach as his Affirmative Intimacy(tm) method. His book, “Love That Works: 38 Awesome Hacks for Amazing Relationships” came out in December 2019. Follow his work and adventures at his website affirmativeintimacy.com, purchase his book ltwthebook.com, and also find him on Facebook@affirmativeintimacy.

EPISODE 148: Interview with Jim Fleckenstein. Jim Fleckenstein became a relationship coach and educator because of his own life experiences. After the end of his 25-year marriage in 2000, he put the skills he’d gained from his successful non-profit career and his insatiable curiosity to work on relationships. He began a rigorous self-education process that included reaching out personally to leading researchers. His efforts quickly bore fruit. He created an organization that focuses on self-education, scientific research, and helping people have successful relationships. Along the way, Jim developed a unique approach to relationships based on proven methods he encountered over his years of study. Ultimately, he formalized this approach as his Affirmative Intimacy(tm) method. His book, “Love That Works: 38 Awesome Hacks for Amazing Relationships” came out in December 2019. Follow his work and adventures at his website <a href="http://affirmativeintimacy.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">affirmativeintimacy.com</a>, purchase his book <a href="http://ltwthebook.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ltwthebook.com</a>, and also find him on Facebook@affirmativeintimacy.

148 Jim Fleckenstein Interview

My guest is Jim Fleckenstein. He is a coach and educator on sexuality. He is also a researcher who focuses predominantly on non-exclusive relationships and how they affect the individuals involved. He is an expert in consensual non-monogamy and a wellspring of knowledge and insight, which he graciously shares in this episode.Jim shares stats and information on consensual non-monogamy, how those who practice it are reporting an overwhelming amount of satisfaction and happiness, how emotional needs have a lot to do with those who are drawn towards it, and how these relationship structures are actually much more common than you may have realized.This is just the tip of the iceberg of this discussion though. Listen along and learn a lot about this interesting topic!The Three Main Divisions of Consensual Non-MonogamyTo start the interview, Jim breaks down consensual non-monogamy into polyamory, swinging, and open relationships.Polyamory is separate from the others because there is a chance for a deep emotional connection to be reinforced. While the others are more reserved for sexual acts, polyamory is can delve into the emotional as well as the sexual components of a relationship.Jim says that swinging is probably the oldest of the trio. And for those who don’t know, it’s a couple-centric act where couples work hard to establish an emotional wall to prevent emotional developments. They also don’t have sex independently of one another.And in open relationships, partners are free to seek sexual liaisons outside of the primary relationship. Emotional connection is not established, and unlike swingers, they don’t participate in sexual acts together but do their own thing instead.Jim says much more within the episode. Listen along!The Reasons Why Certain People Prefer Consensual Non-MonogamyFor the reasons why people go the non-monogamous route, Jim says it has a lot to do with the emotional needs of the person. He says the question of “what is it that I am trying to attain here?” is a great question to ask to evaluate your emotional needs.Your needs will determine which version of consensual non-monogamy that you gravitate towards and want to eventually practice–if you do end up deciding that your emotional needs warrant the lifestyle, of course.Jim also talks about the boundaries that are established and how respecting those boundaries is important for the healthy functioning of any consensual non-monogamous relationship. Tune in!How Many People are Practicing?Jim says that it’s difficult to have an accurate number or statistic for those who practice non-monogamous relationships. This is due to the fact that individuals can lose their jobs and their kids because of it, and in addition, it is still highly stigmatized in our country. This leads to a lot of people practicing in clandestine ways.So, because of these factors, it’s hard to trust the surveys and numbers out there. But according to the stats, Jim says that somewhere between 2-7% of all relationships are practiced through one of the three divisions of consensual non-monogamy.The Importance of EducationJim shares a lot of important information on how people learn about polyamory or swinging by attending educational events where people discuss consensual non-monogamy in a non-sexual environment.Often the trepidations that occur can be alleviated through more understanding. And as is brought up during the episode, some of the concerns of being pressured by a partner into swinging or an open relationship can be addressed once more information is processed. He also makes it clear this needs to be a mutual decision.Who knows, maybe all it takes is a couple of events and you will comfortable enough with shifting your relationship dynamic! Maybe it will confirm your anxiety. Becoming educated is key! It destigmatizes and demystifies.Go-To Resources for JimHe says that his favorite go-to book is Opening Up by Tristan Taormino, for those who are curious about learning about or trying this relationship dynamic. It is a very comprehensive resource. The Ethical Slut is a good book as well, in addition to Designer Relationships.And for those who may have experienced infidelity, Tammy Nelson has a good book called The New Monogamy for handling the subject.Key (Affiliate) Links for Jim: Books he recommends:Opening Up : https://amzn.to/2WWhgZODesigner Relationships : https://amzn.to/2Jk3k7pThe Ethical Slut :https://amzn.to/2th3tzfThe New Monogamy : https://amzn.to/2Dy0YxlJim’s website: https://www.affirmativeintimacy.com/More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&amp;A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

My guest is Jim Fleckenstein. He is a coach and educator on sexuality. He is also a researcher who focuses predominantly on non-exclusive relationships and how they affect the individuals involved. He is an expert in consensual non-monogamy and a wellspring of knowledge and insight, which he graciously shares in this episode. Jim shares stats and information on consensual non-monogamy, how those who practice it are reporting an overwhelming amount of satisfaction and happiness, how emotional needs have a lot to do with those who are drawn towards it, and how these relationship structures are actually much more common than you may have realized. This is just the tip of the iceberg of this discussion though. Listen along and learn a lot about this interesting topic! The Three Main Divisions of Consensual Non-Monogamy To start the interview, Jim breaks down consensual non-monogamy into polyamory, swinging, and open relationships. Polyamory is separate from the others because there is a chance for a deep emotional connection to be reinforced. While the others are more reserved for sexual acts, polyamory is can delve into the emotional as well as the sexual components of a relationship. Jim says that swinging is probably the oldest of the trio. And for those who don’t know, it’s a couple-centric act where couples work hard to establish an emotional wall to prevent emotional developments. They also don’t have sex independently of one another. And in open relationships, partners are free to seek sexual liaisons outside of the primary relationship. Emotional connection is not established, and unlike swingers, they don’t participate in sexual acts together but do their own thing instead. Jim says much more within the episode. Listen along! The Reasons Why Certain People Prefer Consensual Non-Monogamy For the reasons why people go the non-monogamous route, Jim says it has a lot to do with the emotional needs of the person. He says the question of “what is it that I am trying to attain here?” is a great question to ask to evaluate your emotional needs. Your needs will determine which version of consensual non-monogamy that you gravitate towards and want to eventually practice–if you do end up deciding that your emotional needs warrant the lifestyle, of course. Jim also talks about the boundaries that are established and how respecting those boundaries is important for the healthy functioning of any consensual non-monogamous relationship. Tune in! How Many People are Practicing? Jim says that it’s difficult to have an accurate number or statistic for those who practice non-monogamous relationships. This is due to the fact that individuals can lose their jobs and their kids because of it, and in addition, it is still highly stigmatized in our country. This leads to a lot of people practicing in clandestine ways. So, because of these factors, it’s hard to trust the surveys and numbers out there. But according to the stats, Jim says that somewhere between 2-7% of all relationships are practiced through one of the three divisions of consensual non-monogamy. The Importance of Education Jim shares a lot of important information on how people learn about polyamory or swinging by attending educational events where people discuss consensual non-monogamy in a non-sexual environment. Often the trepidations that occur can be alleviated through more understanding. And as is brought up during the episode, some of the concerns of being pressured by a partner into swinging or an open relationship can be addressed once more information is processed. He also makes it clear this needs to be a mutual decision. Who knows, maybe all it takes is a couple of events and you will comfortable enough with shifting your relationship dynamic! Maybe it will confirm your anxiety. Becoming educated is key! It destigmatizes and demystifies. Go-To Resources for Jim He says that his favorite go-to book is Opening Up by Tristan Taormino, for those who are curious about learning about or trying this relationship dynamic. It is a very comprehensive resource. The Ethical Slut is a good book as well, in addition to Designer Relationships. And for those who may have experienced infidelity, Tammy Nelson has a good book called The New Monogamy for handling the subject. Key (Affiliate) Links for Jim: Books he recommends: Opening Up : <a href="https://amzn.to/2WWhgZO" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://amzn.to/2WWhgZO</a> Designer Relationships : <a href="https://amzn.to/2Jk3k7p" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://amzn.to/2Jk3k7p</a> The Ethical Slut :<a href="https://amzn.to/2th3tzf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://amzn.to/2th3tzf</a> The New Monogamy : <a href="https://amzn.to/2Dy0Yxl" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://amzn.to/2Dy0Yxl</a> Jim’s website: <a href="https://www.affirmativeintimacy.com/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.affirmativeintimacy.com/</a> More info: Book and New Course – <a href="https://sexwithoutstress.com" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://sexwithoutstress.com</a> Web – <a href="https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/</a> Sex Health Quiz – <a href="http://sexhealthquiz.com/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">http://sexhealthquiz.com/</a> If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&amp;A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at <a href="https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast</a> Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman <a href="https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/</a>

73: Jim Fleckenstein – Consensual Non-Monogamy