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Devon Smiley

8 Podcast Episodes

Latest 2 May 2021 | Updated Daily

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BHP30: How to Negotiate for What You Want in Work & Life With Devon Smiley

Be Heard Podcast

Devon Smiley is a Negotiation Consultant for entrepreneurs, startups and professionals who are sick of settling, and ready to go after what they want, need and deserve.  
She’s distilled nearly 15 years and $5 billion of negotiation experience into accessible and actionable guidance that helps you build the skill set you need to #maketheask with confidence.
 Devon’s expert advice has been featured in the New York Times, Glamour magazine, the Chicago Tribune and has helped clients including Mars Chocolate and Rolls-Royce. A strong believer that negotiation isn’t just about boosting bottom lines, Devon works with pro bono partners including UN Women and The Clinton Foundation. In this episode, Deven and I talk about steps you can take to negotiate what you want from getting a raise to landing a client and everything in between.


15 Aug 2019

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How to negotiate anything (even if you’re a people pleaser) with Devon Smiley

Clarity on Fire

If you’re a compassionate, sensitive, people-pleasing-type person who hates rocking the boat, then the very idea of negotiation is probably nausea-inducing at best, and horrifically impossible at worst. (And even for those of us with thick skin, it’s still awkward as hell!). A lot of us think, “What’s the point of asking for what I really want if I have to be someone I’m not—pushy, aggressive, selfish, demanding—in order to get it?” Well, that’s why we asked Devon Smiley to come on the podcast. She’s a Negotiation Consultant (yes, that’s a real job!) with 15 years of experience and $5 billion in contracts negotiated! She’s also a genuinely warm, upbeat person who proves that you don’t have to be an a-hole in order to get what you want. We asked Devon: What are the most common hang-ups people have around negotiation? What’s getting in our way? What does negotiation even mean? (Her answer is SO not what you think it is). How does being a woman change the way you negotiate, for better or worse? How do people pleasers handle negotiation? What are some not-so-obvious things we can negotiate, that we might not realize we’re allowed to ask for? How can we feel confident about our ability to negotiate, and take baby steps to get there? After you’ve listened, leave a comment to let us know how Devon’s advice landed with you! And if you’ve got an opportunity to implement her strategies in your life, we’d love to hear how you plan to do that. MORE ABOUT DEVON Devon Smiley is a Negotiation Consultant & Speaker with 15 years of experience with Forbes’ finest and small business alike. She closed $5 billion of commercial contracts as a lead negotiator and brings this experience to organizations, entrepreneurs and founders focused on securing strong commercial results without sacrificing relationships.  Devon’s global consultancy firm works with companies of all sizes, and she contributes as mentor and advisor for programs including Startup Bootcamp FinTech NYC, Startup Canada and the HEC Paris Incubator @ StationF. Her insights on negotiation have been featured in The New York Times, Glamour magazine and The Chicago Tribune. A strong believer that negotiation benefits more than just the bottom line, Devon is honored to work with pro bono partners including The Clinton Foundation and UN Women to lead negotiation skills training for their teams and communities. Find her online at DevonSmiley.com Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @DevonMSmiley IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU SHOULD ALSO LISTEN A former recruiter tells all (& helps you get hired) with Emily Liou (September 2018) Navigating a toxic workplace with Stacy Campesi (February 2019) Side Chat: Curing your people-pleasing disease (May 2018) LINKS Leave us a comment on this episode Take the Passion Profile Quiz Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

1hr 1min

24 May 2019

Similar People

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#127: Devon Smiley: How to Ask for What You Want: The Art of Negotiation

Profit With Purpose by Anna Goldstein

What words come to mind when you hear the word negotiation? Negotiator? Tough. Competitive. Frustration. Liars. Cheating. Battle. Winning. Losing. (no wonder people avoid negotiation like the plague...)  In this episode, I interview, Devon Smiley. She has15 years of experience with Forbes’ finest and small business alike. She closed $5 billion of commercial contracts as a lead negotiator. She brings this experience to organizations that are focused on securing strong commercial results without sacrificing relationships. Her insights on negotiation have been featured in the New York Times, Glamour magazine and the Chicago Tribune. If you are fed up with getting in your own way, feeling like you're not quite good enough, and settling for second best. It's time to master the art of confidently, calmly and successfully asking for what you want, need and deserve. In preparing for this interview I looked up what negotiation means. The definition I found was ‘the aim of reaching an agreement’. Is that your definition as well? Devon thinks about negotiation as transformation. Taking a situation that doesn't really work for you and turning it into one that does. When two people have opposing views it can be difficult to reach an agreement. What are some strategies that you teach on how to reach this agreement and get what you want? When you are preparing to negotiate you need to not just think about what you want and need, but also what the other person wants and needs. It is important to ask the other person what they want. Which can feel very bold but can really help move the conversation forward. Do you recommend starting with asking what the other person wants? When you start a negotiation you want to set an agenda for the conversation. It is then beneficial to ask the other person if there is anything else that they want to talk about. If I ask the other person what they want, how is that helpful to me? Knowing what the other person is looking for can really help you in being more active and more engaged in the conversation. It helps you start off on the same page. The person that is asking the question is most in control. Do you believe that to be true? Devon agrees. It’s a combination of the person who takes the initiative by going first and asking questions because it gives you a lot of information. Information is powerful and will feed all the proposals you will be able to make in the negotiation. The bigger umbrella in this is asking for what you want. Women, in general, struggle with asking for what they want. For someone who is experiencing fear, there’s an emotional aspect to it. Do you also teach about that emotional piece? As much as we like to think as professionals, as businesswomen, that we can detach ourselves from the emotion, it is actually feeding everything we are doing. Devon suggests people ask themselves - what would be the worse case if I ask for this thing? In reality, what we fear is unlikely to actually happen. What’s the worse thing that has happened to you when you have asked for something? Devon had someone burst out in laughter once because he thought that what she was asking for was absolutely ridiculous. She was able to keep a straight face and keep going because she had prepared herself for a bad reaction. Do you feel like you can build this ability to handle ‘rejection’ when you practice asking? Definitely. That’s why it’s great to start with small things. For example, asking for an extra napkin when you buy something. It’s not the end of the world if they say no, you just move on. It makes it easier to build up that comfort with rejection before you build up to the big high-risk things. We’re often told not to talk about money. How do you suggest people prepare themselves for asking for more money? To prepare ourselves emotionally we need to separate worth from value. That you as a human being have a worth but that’s not what you’re negotiating. You’re negotiating based on the value you are bringing to the table. The next step is to come up with actual tangible numbers. How many percentage points did you earn your client because of that great marketing campaign? How many new clients did you bring in for your employer? Arm yourself with quantifiable data before entering discussions about money. I want to hear more about your story. How did you become interested in this topic and start a business around it? Devon fell into negotiation. After her degree, she started working in procurement and was offered the opportunity to move into a full-time negotiator role for contracts in aerospace. She ended up loving it. After some time she discovered she got more pleasure out of training and mentoring more junior employees in developing their negotiation skills. She is now making it her mission to show more people that negotiation isn’t as scary as they think. What do you think the message that you’re relaying is? The big one is reminding people that negotiation isn’t a natural skill. Everyone can become a great negotiator as we build the skills. It involves practice, building up some strategies and becoming more comfortable with negotiating. What might be something that someone practices? There are two things she generally has people practice. Asking for the small things, even outside of business. Start asking for the things you want. And getting comfortable with silence. A lot of negotiation is letting the silence sit there and having it as an opportunity for the other person to start talking. How important do you think it is to stay with the thing that you want? When do you find yourself meeting somebody halfway? It’s always important to start ambitiously. Women tend to ask for 30% less than a man would ask for in the same situation. This limits the amount of wiggle room we have in a negotiation. So be a little cheeky. It should make you feel a little nervous to ask for that much. That gives you the space to make an adjustment to your proposal without selling yourself short. Then have a few plans for things that you could be comfortable trading to the other person. The worst thing is when the other person is sitting across the table saying no to everything. So what would you do when somebody is saying no? Remind the person of what the goal is and ask if that is still what the negotiation is working towards. How do we establish boundaries? In the workplace, when you’re setting your boundaries, it’s important to be clear about how it makes you feel when someone does something inappropriate. Sometimes we try to soften what we say when we try to set a boundary. What are some words to watch out for to avoid softening? We apologize. ‘I’m sorry taking your time for this.’ Or ‘I know you’re really busy….’ We put all these fillers at the beginning. ‘I’m thinking that maybe….’ We’re trained to not be assertive in our language, so it takes practice. When it comes to money we tend to ask for a range: $50K-$70K. The other person will hear what they want to hear. Devon suggests that in this example we should be a little cheeky and ask for $75K. Do you think this comes from some of our conditioning around teacher/ student dynamics in school? Raise your hand. Get permission. Very gently ask. Being polite goes a long way but we are overly conditioned to seek permission before sharing what we need. How did you find the courage to take the leap of starting your own business? One of the last experiences Devon had in the corporate world was a negotiation where she saved $10 million. She walked into the Vice Presidents office and got a ‘Is that all?’, which felt terrible. With her first non-corporate client she helped her earn an extra $500 and she was so grateful because it meant she could get her kids sports lessons. And Devon realized that the type of impact she wanted to make was the type that helped other human beings. There’s something to be said for the power of small asks. Often there are small things that we find uncomfortable that we overlook. We wait until we’re really uncomfortable to say something. Devon talks about the analogy of a frog in water. The temperature slowly rises until the frog is dead. We put up with low-level things until it gets too much before we don’t want to rock the boat. We will adjust to a very crappy situation. But the moment comes which is enough to shock us out of it which is the moment to ask for a change. Anything else you want to talk about? A lot of people get scared about negotiation because of the image they have of a negotiator and they don’t fit that image. Devon says that negotiation is about relationship and communication. Those are the elements that are important in negotiation and what you look like doesn’t matter. Is there a fast way to build that connection? We tend to get very uncomfortable with small talk. Either because we think it’s a waste of time or because it can be awkward. But according to studies you get a better result if you take 5-10 minutes to connect with someone on a non-business topic. This can be as simple as talking about the weather. For me connecting comes more naturally because I have this world view that we’re all friends and it really helps. If you see somebody already as your ally. When we’re negotiating we tend to put people in a position of being against us rather than as allies. We go into battle mode and think the other person is going to trick us and screw us over. We put a lot of emotional energy into figuring out how they may try to screw us over rather than focusing on what we want to achieve and ways we can move things forward. We’re terrified of rejection. That’s why we don’t ask for things. Devon still remembers being rejected by a boy at her school dance in the 7th grade. When we’re negotiating if we get a yes straight away then we probably haven’t asked for enough. So hearing a no is good because you haven’t sold yourself short. And then you can get a conversation going. You’ve previously said - Don’t ask for things through email. Is that still true? For the most part, yes. Especially as email can be terrible at conveying tone. Email, however, is great at recapping meetings but the phone is a much better way of asking for something. There is real freedom in having the courage to ask for what you want. It changes everything. What is holding us back is that we’re afraid to ask. We sit there and we accept the status quo because we’re too afraid to ask for something. We rationalize the situation. We don’t ask because we don’t want to be a nuisance. When people meet Devon and find out that she’s a negotiator, they often say - “Oh you’re going to tell me that I always need to ask. I always need to negotiate my salary, that I always need to ask for more money.” Devon says that it needs to be a choice. That you know the option to ask is there and you choose not to do it consciously and not because you’re scared to do it. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? Never email when angry. That following an emotion when making a business decision does not make you weak. What’s an action step somebody could take right now if they want to ask for what they want? Devon has a Make The Ask Challenge. Everybody has something that they have wanted in the last 7 days and haven’t asked for. She gets people to figure out what that is and write it down. They then have 7 days to ask for it. Devon’s Website https://www.devonsmiley.com/


14 Mar 2019

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070: Negotiation Done Differently with Devon Smiley

Love Always, Jo

In this episode of Love Always, Jo, I interview Devon Smiley, a negotiation consultant for entrepreneurs, startups, and professionals who are sick of settling and are ready to go after what they want, need, and deserve. Listen to this episode to hear more about asking for what you need. Devon Smiley is a negotiation consultant...

1hr 3mins

12 Feb 2019

Most Popular

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103: How To Negotiate Like A Boss As A Professional Or Entrepreneur With Devon Smiley

The Clever Girls Know Podcast

Today's episode is all about negotiating.Negotiating is an important skill set to have whether you are a professional or entrepreneur and Devon Smiley, shares on key tips on how to get good at it!About Devon Smiley: Devon is a negotiation consultant for entrepreneurs, startups and professionals who are sick of settling, and ready to go after what they want, need and deserve. 
She’s distilled nearly 15 years and $5 billion of negotiation experience into accessible and actionable guidance that helps you build the skill set you need to make the ask with confidence.
Her expert advice has been featured in the New York Times, Glamour magazine, the Chicago Tribune and has helped clients including Mars Chocolate and Rolls-Royce. A strong believer that negotiation isn’t just about boosting bottom lines, Devon works with pro bono partners including UN Women and The Clinton Foundation.On this episode Devon: - Breaks down the biggest mistakes women make when it comes to negotiating and advocating for themselves as entrepreneurs and employees- How to negotiate through difficult situations- Shares specific steps you can take to begin mastering negotiations- Her top money tip for entrepreneurs (that changed her life)The negotiation books Devon mentions:1. Hilda: http://hildathebook.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Hilda-Tackle-Naysayer-Unleash-Badassery-ebook/dp/B01KR2T4GG/2. Captivate: https://www.amazon.com/Captivate-Science-Succeeding-People/dp/B06XK2P1WGHow to keep up with Devon:- You can stay up to date and contact her via her website at DevonSmiley.comDo you follow Clever Girl Finance on Instagram yet? You should!https://www.instagram.com/clevergirlfinanceBe sure to stop by https://clevergirlfinance.com


8 Jan 2019

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039 | Devon Smiley | Negotiation Consultant

Day in the Life

On today's show, I have Devon Smiley who is a Negotiation Consultant located in Paris, France! I'm not going to lie, I didn't really know what a negotiation consultant actually did before speaking to Devon. Of course they help with negotiating but ...what does that exactly mean? Devon shares all about how she got into negotiating as a career, the mistakes most people make when it comes to negotiating (whether it's for a new contract with a client or increase in pay at work or more), her best tips on negotiating and what to do if you've lost the upper hand, and so much more! Excited for you to tune in and hope you enjoy! Full show notes at: http://brittneyllynn.com/039 In today's episode, you'll find out: How Devon got started as a negotiation expert. How you can better negotiate throughout your daily life. The most common negotiation mistakes people make and to not make those mistakes yourself. The biggest struggle Devon has as a negotiation consultant. Her best tips on recovering when you think you've lost the upper hand in a negotiation. What people misconceive about negotiation consultants. Devon's advice on pitching yourself and putting yourself out there. How to be better about asking for help when you need it. Links mentioned: Day in the Life podcast interview with Jessica Freeman Clarity in 5 Worksheet Follow Devon: Website Instagram Twitter Like the show? There are several ways you can help! Subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify or Google Play Leave an honest review on iTunes. The ratings and reviews help for two reasons: 1) Most importantly, I get to know you, the listener, and what content you enjoy the most. 2) The more reviews the podcast has, the better chance it has at getting in front of new listeners. Follow on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram Join the Facebook group to interact with guests and other listeners Join the Day in the Life newsletter

1hr 3mins

17 Jul 2018

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064 Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone with Devon Smiley

Marketing Personalities Podcast

In this episode of the Marketing in Yoga Pants Podcast, Brit interviews Devon Smiley, Negotiation Consultant and Speaker at DevonSmiley.com. Devon works with her clients through 1:1 coaching and mentorship as well as through speaking engagements and masterclasses. Learn how she is helping her clients gain the skills to ask for whey want, need, and deserve by negotiating in a way that feels natural and good to them. Links: Denise Duffield-Thomas, Money Mindset Mentor Devon's Blog Devon's Website Devon on Instagram


5 Jul 2018

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097: Devon Smiley: How to Structure Your Negotiation

Systems Saved Me

This episode is brought to you by The Kolada Group. Visit www.systemssavedme.com for shownotes and freebies! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.


26 Feb 2018