Gretchen Rubin, 5-times New York Times Best-Seller, an award-winning podcaster, and speaker, discusses her latest book, "The Four Tendencies." 

This episode explores the four personality profiles identified in her book: the upholders, the questionnaires, the obligers, the rebels, and how they respond to their inner and outer expectations. 

By understanding your profile, you can improve your productivity, your life, and the lives of those around you. 

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The pandemic has all of us staying home more and perhaps being bothered more by the clutter in our homes. Clearing our messes can actually lead to more happiness. On this episode, we talk to Gretchen Rubin, the best-selling author of 'Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness;, . She is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. In this interview, she shares insights, strategies, stories, and tips that will help you understand yourself and create a better, more organized life.

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Note: this episode is part of our 'Best Of' series. It originally aired in May 2019

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Gretchen Rubin (author, The Happiness Project) shares her insight and work on human nature. Her and Greg discuss some of their own creative motivations, understanding different types of personalities, and the importance of relationships and self-knowledge in leading a happier life.

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#278: Does this sound like you?

You want to exercise, but you can never find the time for a workout. Eventually, you grow tired of putting exercise off. You commit to working out every morning. You become so enthusiastic, you buy new gym clothes for the occasion.

Your enthusiasm carries you for five days, and on day six, you’re swamped with work. You promise yourself you’ll exercise tomorrow - after all, taking a break for one day won’t hurt. And then … you never get back on the wagon. The cycle repeats.

Most habits and routines start with good intentions. But good intentions aren’t enough to carry you through tough times. Good intentions aren’t enough to overcome the excuses you’ll make, either.

That’s what today’s guest, Gretchen Rubin, is here to explore.

Gretchen Rubin is the New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies. She joins us on the podcast to discuss the loopholes that we use - the excuses that we make - when it comes to breaking bad habits and forming good habits. Why is this important? The more aware we are of loopholes, the better we can resist them.

For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode278

When lawyer-turned-writer Gretchen Rubin first came on the show in 2019, we were dazzled by the wisdom and tools she shared on how to live with more contentment, right where we are. A decade ago, Gretchen fancied herself a happy person. She had a job she liked, a husband and two daughters she loved, a life she enjoyed. But one day she found herself wondering, “Could I be happier?” So she set out to change her life—not in a blow-it-all-up-and-move-across-the-world kind of way, but with small steps over one year. Gretchen documented her experiment to live happier in the blockbuster New York Times bestseller The Happiness Project, and has inspired millions to improve their lives and find contentment. Jen and Gretchen talk about why it’s okay to pursue happiness in a world filled with hard things, and the little ways we can reach for a richer, more satisfying life. Gretchen shows how easy it is to work “happiness habits” into our lives (Jen adopted one immediately after this interview!) and how these small steps can yield big, long-term results. And don’t forget to check out Gretchen’s latest book Outer Order, Inner Calm.

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Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, and Happier at Home. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. On her popular weekly podcast "Happier with Gretchen Rubin", she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft; they’ve been called the “Click and Clack of podcasters.” Her podcast was named in iTunes’s lists of “Best Podcasts of 2015” and was named in the Academy of Podcasters “Best Podcasts of 2016.” BuzzFeed listed Happier in 10 Life-Changing Things to Try in June and the New Yorker said, “Their voices remind you that life is a human project that we’re all experimenting with.” The podcast consistently ranks in the iTunes Top Charts. Fast Company named Gretchen Rubin to its list of Most Creative People in Business, and she’s a member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100.

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including #1 New York Times bestsellers The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, Better Than Before and The Four Tendencies. Her books have sold almost three million copies and been published in more than thirty languages.

Gretchen and her sister, Elizabeth, also have their own podcast called Happier where they discuss good habits and happiness.

Gretchen joined host Robert Glazer on the Elevate Podcast to discuss risk taking, happiness, purposeful growth, and our unique tendencies.

Today, we’re talking all about the 4 tendencies!

• If you might wonder why people can rely on you, but you think you can't rely on yourself
• How you can help someone to follow good advice
• Why people say you ask too many questions
• How you work with someone who refuses to do what you ask—or who keeps telling you what to do

For full show notes, go to schulmanart.com/94

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Gretchen Rubin is an expert on happiness, and she's spent her career helping people build the habits to achieve it. But she assumed that if something works for her, it should work for just about anyone. A series of chance encounters, and a healthy helping of curiosity, makes Gretchen realize that maybe there isn't one path to happiness after all. That there's no right or wrong way to build a meaningful life, just the way that works for you. 

Learn more at https://gretchenrubin.com/

Find the Happier podcast at https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/

Read the transcript for this story at https://meditativestory.com/gretchen-rubin/

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Many of us have heard the phrase, “Happiness is a choice” - but what does a happiness expert think about that and what can you do if you feel like you’re unable to make that choice?

What to Listen For

• What are the Four Tendencies and how do they determine how you respond to expectations and your ability to be happy?
• What’s the alternative if you feel you can’t just choose to be happy?
• What steps can you take in your environment that will make it easier to be happy?
• What does it mean for emotions to be contagious and how can your understanding of it help prevent you from feeling down?
• How do novelty and challenge contribute so significantly to your ability to be happy?
• What can you do to raise your self-awareness?
• What can you do if you find yourself being the victim of analysis paralysis so you don’t waste too much time thinking about a decision?
• Once you understand your tendency, how do you recognize the Four Tendencies in others and what is the best way to work with them or help them reach their potential on a team?

We cannot make ourselves happy by focusing on our external environment, but it can help to minimize the work we have to do to be happy. Our personalities are made up of the tendencies and habits we have formed over the years, so the more aware you are of your tendencies and habits, the easier it can be for you to make the decisions which will lead to you being less miserable and more happy. Happiness is a choice, but certain things in your life can make the difference between that choice feeling easy, and that choice feeling impossible, and the more you understand yourself, your environment, and the people you spend time with, the easier that choice can be.

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Resources from this Episode

Outer Order, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin

The Four Tendencies Quiz

Gretchen Rubin’s website

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

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