Porn As Re-Enactment Of Sexual Abuse (with Wendell Moss)
Why do we return to porn even though it harms us? What if we return to porn precisely because it harms us? The answer is often re-enactment. "Re-enactment (noun): the acting out of a past event." Therapist and licensed mental health counselor Wendell Moss tells the story how porn re-enacted sexual abuse from when he was a boy, and what happened when he was confronted by the fierce kindness of God.Wendell Moss teaches at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology and The Allender Center. Although he is privileged and delighted to work with both men and women, Wendell loves to create contexts of healing for men, especially African American men. Contact Wendell here.Books and resources mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):To Be Told, by Dan AllenderHealing The Wounded Heart, by Dan AllenderThe Cure, by John Lynch, Bruce McNichol and Bill ThrallRedeemed Sexuality, by Drew BoaPure Desire, by Ted RobertsJoin our private community at husbandmaterial.appThank you so much for listening. Thank you for helping me reach 100K downloads. Without guys like you, there would be no podcast. Please review the Husband Material Podcast here.
Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Brenda Salter McNeil and Wendell Moss
The Allender Center Podcast
This week on the podcast, Wendell Moss, a Teaching Staff member of The Allender Center, hosts special guest Dr. Brenda Salter McNeil for a conversation about her work in racial reconciliation. Dr. Salter McNeil is internationally recognized for her work in reconciliation, is an Associate Professor of Reconciliation Studies at Seattle Pacific University, and is the Associate Pastor of Preaching and Reconciliation at Quest Church in Seattle. You’ll hear more about Dr. Salter McNeil’s background, the transformative changes she’s made in her work of racial reconciliation and her exhortations to both the White evangelical church and People of Color in the church.
078: Racial Trauma & the Power of Truth Telling – a conversation with Wendell Moss
The Paterson Podcast
Today we are honored to be joined by Wendell Moss for a conversation around racial trauma, truth telling, and the journey towards real reconciliation. As the streets around the US and beyond have erupted with grief, pain, protests and calls for change, we’ve all had to confront afresh systemic racism and its impact. We are all looking for voices of truth to help us navigate forward.Wendell is a therapist, speaker, and teacher, serving as part of the instructional staff at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and also as a core member of the Executive Leadership Team at the Allender Center. Wendell is fiercely committed to engaging the impact of abuse and trauma, including racial trauma.Racial trauma, like sexual trauma, is trauma against the body. This, paired with the fact that denial is often a mark of trauma, reminds us that we must continue to tell the truth. “To tell the truth is to know how to move forward,” comments Wendell. Unfortunately, the truth is often times uncomfortable; it can be tempting to avoid or ignore it. But if want to experience freedom, individually and as a society, we must lean into truth.“When I hear the word unity I ask ‘What does that mean? Unity in the name of truth?’ " remarks Wendell. "Unity in the name of truth feels like true unity because it means that we can actually trek together down this bloody and treacherous road; actually pursuing healing. A lot of times 'unity' is anemic, koom-bye-ya, 'can we just come together and love one another' unity. This type of unity fails to recognize where there is a failure of love in so many areas systematically. I’m not against unity. I want unity more than ever, but I’ll never encourage false unity in the name of denial."To hear more of Wendell's thoughts, wisdom, and rich insights, listen in. If you enjoy or benefit from this conversation, please consider sharing with one person you care about.
On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray chats with Wendell Moss, a therapist at The Allender Center, to share his story and to specifically discuss racial trauma. The conversation about racial injustice in America is currently dominating conversations and Wendell breaks down his own experiences with racial trauma and how he was able to work through and heal from those traumas. He also explains what we as a country can do to begin listening and engaging the conversation to help those struggling with racial injustice. Our listeners can learn more about Wendell on The Allender Center's website: https://theallendercenter.org/about/team/wendell-moss/. This episode is a great follow up to the conversation we had with the Castille family last week, so we highly encourage you to listen to that as well by going to https://youtu.be/1M69jfI_J2E.
A few reminders. The gospel transcends every human identity and tells you a few important things about the world. Like, the fact that the human heart is fallen. It’s the original problem. It is the well from which all injustice and violence pours. And there’s Satan, God’s sworn enemy, who stokes human sin. But, thanks to the work of Jesus, we have a new heart. We have power over Satan and his kingdom. We offer the restoration of all things in real time into the world. This conversation between therapist Wendell Moss and Sam Eldredge is an onramp into the issues surrounding race, trauma, and masculinity. It first ran in July 2018, but we’re queuing it up again because here at And Sons we look for orientation. We look for trustworthy sages to give us direction in real time. We think you’ll find this conversation helpful, especially as you engage it in view of your position as a friend of Jesus, participating in the restoration of the heart and the overthrow of evil, alongside Jesus, your brother and captain. The books Moss recommends at the end are: Just Mercy (Bryan Stevenson), White Awake (Daniel Hill), Roadmap to Reconciliation (Brenda Salter McNeil).
Season 1, Episode 18: Wendell Moss, Dan Taylor and Danielle chat about how the coronavirus exposes underlying racism
The Arise Podcast
[Intro with Danielle and Maggie]Wendell starts by naming how the coronavirus given racism and white supremacy back more daylight. The attack on Asian culture is brought to the forefront with mimes and racist jokes circulating on social media and even physical violence and attacks on Asian people. Dan says it's a lot like "judging books by it's color," assuming someone is sick because of their race. Any race can get diseases, as shown throughout history. In fact, dominate culture has spread disease as was the case when Europeans came to this continent and decimated the Natives. Disease, when it originates in another culture, can be demonized... But that same narrative has not been told when the dominate culture brings the disease. The Northwest and the West Coast appear to be tolerant and accepting of different cultures and races, "a melting pot." Wendell came to discover that it takes an event [like this] to expose the racism that is present. The coronavirus is exposing the underbelly of racism that is still residing in people. At what point do we stop and say, "Wait a minute, this isn't about the coronavirus."This isn't just adults, racism is still being passed down to our kids as seen by kids telling racist jokes at school about Asians. Dan says our relationships with people who are different than us need to be transformational relationships not transactional relationships. We can not use others for products, resources and entertainment. He challenges us, "what are you doing for them now that they are hurting, how can you be transformative in their lives?" Even more, what are we doing as a body of believes to step up and bring healing between races?Dan wonders if the coronavirus has some underlying theme; "Is God not waking us up from something?" Slow down. Stop chasing the almighty dollar. Reach out to those in need. Exposes racism. Wendell believes folks want to hold on to their own narrative. It's hard to deal with racism without acknowledging the narrative you hold. The dominate culture often tries and even decides the narrative for people of color. With Dan's invitation to education is to actually have to learn the narrative. You have to do some of your own work. And Danielle adds that it's not just inside yourself but a commitment to work in your family, your spouse, your children. You have to be humble enough to admit places you'd got it wrong and then talk about how you're going to do it differently. It's starts to home with your own heart. In situations like this (pandemic) ethnicities are being pitted against one another. Dan is Korean and Black but people mostly see his Black features. And when he thinks about the trauma that people who look Asian are going through, he thinks they don't even want to go out out in public for fear of what people will say. The coronavirus has amplified this causing people to stereotype others. Racist jokes prove that there is a belief in a racial hierarchy; that some races are better than others. What we are seeing is that "the bandaid is off and the wound [of racism] is still festering."Wendell says that times like these show that racial trauma is continuing to be lived out as an collective experience. This coronavirus is not just showing an individual wound but a collective wound that is manifesting itself in different cultures and different ways. If we need to pay attention and tend to this wound, it will repeat again and again.Wendell believe that God is trying to expose the church's silence. The church often fails to address this issue around the racial jokes and racial rhetoric. God is clearly after us for how to love justice:Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.Where is God called us to honor what Godly justice look like?We need to be honest about our history otherwise racial injustice will continue to happen over and over again. Wendell says, "That's what trauma does: trauma continues until it's addressed. We continue to reenact and relive."Dan admits, this feels like we're living in a movie. It's so wild. He believes we need to keep on our knees praying, be with our families and stop chasing meaningless other gods. He hopes and prays that there can be healing brought to the Asian community. He says, "reconciliation starts with repairing relationships... Taking the time to lament for the Asian community." Dan is brutally honest (and appalled) at how many people of all ethnicities don't wash their hands in the bathrooms! Seeing all the videos and reminders that are out now about hand washing it's like, "Shouldn't we have been washing our hands all this time?!" It's alarming!Wendell talked about how people are in a panic. It starts because someone seeing or hearing one person panicking to get TOILET PAPER. Coronavirus is not an intestinal issue! But people will follow suit buying up toilet paper because someone else is. "And then you know what happens, stores are out of toilet paper and have plenty of kleenex! Huh?!" Danielle said they have keto bread at home for the first time because there's no bread or milk at the stores. It's a pandemonium of anxiety. Wendell honors the threat of the coronavirus--a lot of organizations are taking precautions and it is impacting what he does. He is feeling it; He's had to face a lot of cancellations. But ultimately what counts? Family. Any loss of life makes you think about mortality. What if a close family member dies?Dan says with all the cancelations of events his mind goes to church. Many churches are more than 250 people so they can't meet. Schools are shut down, sports are cancelled. Elderly are encouraged to not come out. We want to lament for the families that are impacted and hurting and then you add on to that all those who are affected by cancellations. It's just all getting real. The school he works for has moved to online classrooms. There is also the equity piece--not all who attend public schools don't have wifi or computers. Kids who count on school lunches. Parents who can't get child care. There's so many different layers. Danielle asks us how can we practically apply love to those around us? Do the thing that is closest to us. It can look like taking your elderly neighbors trash to the street for pick up and bringing it in. It can help with feeding the neighbor kid who is on free school lunches. Maybe you buy Chinese take-out. Asian businesses are taking huge hit. "You can't do everything but you can do something little." Wendell agrees, "Let's care for people really well and not minimize their experience." We can be aware of the position that people are in--Dan said there's a lot anxiety for teacher about going to online learning. Teachers will not be able to see the kids they are teaching or ask answer their questions. Some colleges are telling their students if they go to certain areas, including Seattle, that they can not return to school. The choice it then between their family and their school. Everyone is having to make hard decisions. The cost of precaution is good but are these decisions being made with a sensitivity to people's socioeconomic status? Not everyone is on the same playing field of resources. Including homeless students who's home is at school; They will not have food or water. Is this a call for churches to step up? Shelters are already full. There are no more beds even before the coronavirus. How can we chip in? How can we contribute?Wendell says that sometimes we feel like we can't possibly do enough, but we need to not underestimate what ONE PERSON can do. The economy of God is not the same as our economy. Dan says, Let's not forget the fundamentals: We have to be in prayer. Get in the word. Be in communion with the body of believers. The gospel challenges us to be ACTIVE: whether it be preaching the word, healing, restoration, reconciliation, finding resources, love on those who need to be loved, take a stand for what's right, help the marginalized, help those who have been dehumanized...We've had black lives matter, issues with the border, the coronavirus.. Danielle says "It's time to do something!" We need to be there for our neighbor. Wendell says "When folks hear racist jokes, don't let it slide!" It's not helpful and it's not fair. Point out racism. Speak up. Keeping talking about these things online and with your families. ---Wendell Moss BioWendell Moss is a therapist, minister, educator, and speaker. Wendell serves as a part of the instructional staff at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology in Seattle, WA where he received his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology in 2007. Wendell has also been a core member of The Allender Center at The Seattle School’s executive leadership team and Teaching Staff since its creation in 2010. Alongside his work with The Seattle School and The Allender Center, Wendell practices as a therapist in the Seattle area.Wendell is fiercely committed to engaging the impact of sexual abuse and trauma, including racial trauma. He courageously and compassionately follows Jesus into realms of healing in the most wounded places, especially the places where people are bound by relational heartache, addictions, shame, and contempt. Although he is privileged and delighted to work with both men and women, Wendell loves to create contexts of healing for men, especially African American men.Wendell started his ministry career with Inter-varsity in Chicago where he served college students for almost a decade. He is an unapologetic Bears fan, so even when it’s not game day one can expect to find Wendell proudly sporting a jersey from his rotating collection of Tommie Harris, Brian Urlacher, Walter Payton, and Jay Cutler.Dan Taylor Coach Dan Taylor has twenty years of coaching boys and girls in the sports of basketball, football, soccer, and track and field. Currently he is the varsity head girl’s basketball coach at King’s. He teaches PE, Health and Faith and Justice at King's High school. He helps lead the King's C.A.R.E. team (Community, Action, Reconciliation, and Equity) and has done Race, Culture, Diversity and Equity work in the public and private schools. Since 2012, Coach Taylor has been the Washington State Girls Basketball Coaches Association President. He has been an ASB Advisor, Link Crew Advisor, Black Student Union Advisor, Fellowship of Christian Athletes Advisor, and Social Justice Club Advisor. He has a Master's in School Counseling From Seattle Pacific University and has led workshops on Culturally Responsive Coaching, Team Leadership, College Recruiting, Team Building, and sport-specific sessions. He is Black and Korean and loves working with students of bi-racial backgrounds by helping them find strength in their identity through their cultural background and academic journeys.
Wendell Moss - The Marks We Bear: A Conversation on Race, Trauma, and Masculinity
Generation 2 Generation
In today's episode we're talking to author, counselor, and teacher at the Allender Center, Wendell Moss on the issues of race, trauma, and masculinity. We cannot ignore the traumatic effects of racism in our country, our communities, and in our own lives. our conversation covers a wide range of topics including what it means to be an anti-racist, racial trauma, and the importance of empathy.
Trauma, Race, and Masculinity with Wendell Moss, Part One
The Allender Center Podcast
This week, we’re sharing a conversation from the folks at And Sons Magazine in Colorado. Teaching Staff member Wendell Moss talks with Sam Eldredge about the intersections of race, masculinity, and trauma.
This is one of those episodes that will leave you wanting more. And maybe there is a part 2 in store for the future. Wendell Moss is a counselor based in Seattle, WA, who specializes in trauma and narrative. The cultural narratives of masculinity and race and trauma are (perhaps not surprisingly) similar and require similar acts of courage and curiosity to enter into.The books Moss recommends at the end are: Just Mercy (Bryan Stevenson), White Awake (Daniel Hill), Roadmap to Reconciliation (Brenda Salter McNeil).