Episode 123 – Fritz Leiber's "The Knight and Knave of Swords" with special guest Ahimsa Kerp
Appendix N Book Club
Ahimsa Kerp joins us to discuss Fritz Leiber's "The Knight and Knave of Swords", Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser in Riverside, ooh naughty sexy times, sex-obsessed adventurers, the city of Lankhmar, transgressive swords and sorcery, aging characters in fantasy RPGs, moon priestesses, pushing luck mechanics, having identifiably unique cultures, mythic Greece, and much more!
What's He Doing in There? Free Audiobook Sci-Fi Genre Fritz Leiber Sarnia's Choice
Tale Teller Book Club™
What's He Doing in There? Free Audiobook Sci-Fi Genre Fritz Leiber Sarnia's Choice.what's he doing in there by fritz liber this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.orgrecording by peter mensel what's he doing in there by fritz liberthe professor was congratulating earth's first visitor from another planet on his wisdom in getting in touch with a cultural anthropologist before contacting any other scientists or governments god forbid and in learning english from radio and tv before landing from his orbit parked rocket when the martian stood up and said hesitantly excuse me please but where is it that baffled the professor and the martian seemed to grow anxious at least his long mouth curved upward and he had earlier explained that it curling downward was his smile and he repeated please where is it he was surprisingly humanoid in most respects but his complexion was textured so like the rich dark armchair he'd just been occupying that the professor's pin-striped grey's suit which he had eagerly consented to wear seemed an arbitrary interruption between him and the chair a sort of mother hubbard dress on a phantom conjured from its leather the professor's wife always a perceptive hostess came to her husband's rescue by saying with equal rapidity top of the stairs end of the hall last door the martian's mouth curled happily downward and he said thank you very much and was off comprehension burst on the professor he caught up with his guest at the foot of the stairs here i'll show you the way he said no i can find it myself thank you the martian assured him something rather final in the martian's tone made the professor desist and after watching his visitors sway up the stairs with an almost hypnotic softly jogging movement he rejoined his wife in the study saying wonderingly who'd have thought it by george function taboos as strict as our own i'm glad some of your professorial visitors maintain them his wife said darkly but this one's from mars darling and to find out he's well similar in an aspect of his life is as thrilling as the discovery that water is burned hydrogen when i think of the day not far distant when i'll put his entries in the cross-cultural index he was still rhapsodizing when the professor's little son raced in pop the martian's gone to the bathroom hush deer manners now it's perfectly natural darling that the boys should notice and be excited yes son the martian's not so very different from us oh certainly the professor's wife said with a trace of bitterness i don't imagine his turquoise complexion will cause any comment at all when you bring him to a faculty reception they'll just figure he's had a hard night and that he got that baby elephant nose sniffling around for assistant professorships really darling he probably thinks of our noses as disagreeably amputated and paralyzed well anyway pop he's in the bathroom i followed him when he squiggled upstairs now son you shouldn't have done that he's on a strange planet and it might make him nervous if he thought he was being spied on we must show him every courtesy by george i can't wait to discuss these things with accurately ram's bottom when i think of how much more this encounter has to give the anthropologist than even the physicist or astronomer he was still going strong in his second rhapsody when he was interrupted by another high-speed entrance it was the professor's cultish daughter mom pop the martians hushed here we know the professor's cultish daughter regained her adolescent poise which was considerable well he's still in there she said i just tried the door and it was locked i'm glad it was the professor said while his wife added yes you can't be sure what and caught herself really dear that was very bad manners i thought you'd come downstairs long ago her daughter explained he's been in there an awfully long time it must have been a half hour ago that i saw him guy and gimble upstairs and that real gone way he has with nosy here following him the professor's cultish daughter was currently soaking up both jive and alice when the professor checked his wrist watch his expression grew troubled by george he is taking his time though of course we don't know how much time martians i wonder i listened for a while pop his son volunteered he was running the water a lot running the water eh we know mars is a water starved planet i suppose that in the presence of unlimited water he might be seized by a kind of madness and but he seemed so well adjusted then his wife spoke voicing all their thoughts her outlook on life gave her a naturally several cruel voice what's he doing in there20 minutes and at last as many fantastic suggestions later the professor glanced again at his watch and nerved himself for action motioning his family aside he mounted the stairs and tiptoed down the hall he paused only once to shake his head and mutter under his breath by george i wish i had fenn church or von gotchak here they're a shade better than i am on intercultural contracts especially taboo breakings and affronts his family followed him at a short distance the professor stopped in front of the bathroom door everything was quiet as death he listened for a minute and then wrapped measuredly steadying his hand by clutching his wrist with the other there was a faint splashing but no other sound another minute passed the professor wrapped again now there was no response at all he very gingerly tried the knob the door was still locked when they had retreated to the stairs it was the professor's wife who once more voiced their thoughts this time her voice carried overtones of supernatural horror what's he doing in therehe may be dead or dying the professor's cultish daughter suggested briskly maybe we ought to call the fire department like they did for old mrs frisbie the professor winced i'm afraid you haven't visualized the complications dear he said gently no one but ourselves knows that the martian is on earth or is even the slightest inkling that interplanetary travel has been achieved whatever we do it will have to be on our own but to break in on a creature engaged in well we don't know what primal private activity is against all anthropological practice still dying is a primal activity his daughter said crisply so's ritual bathing before mass murder his wife added please still as i was about to say we do have the moral duty to sucker him if as you all too reasonably suggest he has been incapacitated by germ or virus or more likely by some simple environmental factor such as earth's greater gravity tell you what pop i can look in the bathroom window and see what he's doing all i have to do is crawl out my bedroom window and along the gutter a little ways it's safe as housesthe professor's question beginning with son how do you know died unuttered and he refused to notice the words his daughter was voicing silently at her brother he glanced at his wife's sardonically composed face thought once more of the fire department and of other and larger and even more jealous or would it be skeptical government agencies and clutched at the straw offered him ten minutes later he was quite unnecessarily assisting his son back through the bedroom window g-pop i couldn't see a sign of him that's why i took so long hey pop don't look so scared he's in there sure enough it's just that the bathtub is under the window and you have to get real close up to see into it the martians taking a bath yep got it full up and just the end of his little old nozzle sticking out your suit pop was hanging on the door the one word the professor's wife spoke was like a death knell drowned no ma i don't think so his nozzle was opening and closing regular like maybe he's a shape-changer the professor's cultish daughter said in a burst of evil fantasy maybe he softens in water and thins out after a while until he's like an eel and then he'll go exploring through the sewer pipes wouldn't it be funny if he went under the street and knocked on the stopper from underneath and crawled into the bathtub with president rexford or mrs president rexard or maybe right into the middle of one of janie rexford's oh i'm so sexy bubble baths please the professor put his hand to his eyebrows and kept it there cuddling the elbow in his other hand well have you thought of something the professor's wife asked him after a bit what are you going to do the professor dropped his hand and blinked his eyes hard and took a deep breathtelegraph fen church and ackerley rams bottom and then break in he said in a resigned voice into which nevertheless a note of hope seemed also to have come first however i'm going to wait until morning and he sat down cross-legged in the hall a few yards from the bathroom door and folded his arms so the long vigil commenced the professor's family shared it and he offered no objection other and sterner men he told himself might claim to be able successfully to order their children to go to bed when there was a martian locked in the bathroom but he would like to see them faced with the situation finally dawn began to seep from the bedroom when the bulb in the hall had grown quite dim the professor unfolded his arms just then there was a loud splashing in the bathroom the professor's family looked toward the door the splashing stopped and they heard the martian moving around then the door opened and the martian appeared in the professor's gray pinstripe suit his mouth curled sharply downward in a broad alien smile as he saw the professor good morning the martian said happily i never slept better in my life even in my own little wet bed back on marshe looked around more closely and his mouth straightened but where did you all sleep he asked don't tell me you stayed dry all night you didn't give up your only bed to me his mouth curled upward in misery oh dear he said i'm afraid i've
The Creature from Cleveland Depths by Fritz Leiber
George Gusterson is a writer with crazy ideas one being, he still lives on the surface. For another, he imagines a gizmo that would remind him of things like when to turn on the TV. George's mere whim inspires an actual gadget called the Tickler, just a "wire recorder and clock" at first, but then . . . it whispers constantly through an earphone. It instills positive thinking. It injects drugs. It makes decisions. It weights 28 pounds. And it won't get off. Only Gusterson understands what "the little fellow perched on your shoulder" is really saying, one word: Obey! And only Gusterson knows what to say back, if it's not too late.--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/hmphaudiobooks/support
Episode 88 - Fritz Leiber's "The Big Time" with special guest Jason Ray Carney
Appendix N Book Club
Jason Ray Carney joins us to discuss Fritz Leiber's "The Big Time", urban modernism, Lovecraft's fear of the other, period slang, the time travel genre, deeply traumatized protagonists, Leiber's understanding of language, being the Black Svengali to one's Trilby, unity of time and space, Conan vs Fafhrd, chronomancy, and much more!