This week Kat (@kat.defatta) has fellow licensed therapist and author Lori Gotlieb on the show. Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold over a million copies and is currently being adapted as a television series. In addition to her clinical practice, she is co-host of the popular “Dear Therapists” podcast executive produced by Katie Couric and writes The Atlantic’s weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column. Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her on Twitter @LoriGottlieb1 and Instagram @lorigottlieb_author. Together Lori & Kat talk about taking charge in your own life, grief & loss, and the difference between wise and idiot compassion. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Chapter 84: Lori Gottlieb on therapists thoughtfully thrashing thinking theories
3 Books With Neil Pasricha
Do you have a therapist? Do you meet up with someone on a regular basis to open up, talk about yourself, and get into the weeds of your emotions? Maybe the ones you can articulate, the ones you can’t articulate, the ones you’re angry about having, the ones you’re confused about having. I started seeing a therapist about 10 years ago. After the loss of my marriage and my best friend, it was suggested by my parents that I would benefit from seeing a therapist. I’m embarrassed to admit I said no. “I don’t need a therapist! I don’t have problems! That’s for people with problems! That’s not me!” Maybe it was the years, decades, generations of stigma and taboos around that word? Therapy. Growing up I never heard about anyone going to therapy except in the context of some desperate, last second attempt to salvage something like a failing marriage at the eleventh hour. Maybe that’s why I’m talking about it today! I’m very lucky to have a therapist. And proud of it too, I’d say. My wife Leslie is, too. We talk openly about going to therapy with our children. So often, so easily, so quickly, people say, ‘I’ve got to go to workout, I’ve got to go to the gym, I’ve got to run on the treadmill.’ We’re so open about sharing physical self care. But we aren’t nearly as open about mental self care. And that conversation only progresses globally if we keep having conversations like the one we’re about to have today… So welcome, welcome, welcome. Great to have you here. Thank you for reading all the way down here! Are you new? Are you a 3 Books virgin? If so, you picked a wonderful chapter to begin with. Chapter 84 with Lori Gottlieb. If you like it, we’d love to have you join our community. 3 Books is by and for book lovers, writers, makers, sellers and librarians. The show is a 100% a labor of love and a piece of art with no ads, no sponsors, no promotions, and no interruptions. We’ve got deep values like no book guilt, no book shame, the right to sip, the right to dip. We’re not about reading as a chore, or as a job, or as homework. We’re all about discovering or rediscovering the pure joy of books or deepening the love you already have. Today I am very excited to share with you a conversation with the one and only Lori Gottlieb. Do you know Lori Gottlieb? She’s a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestseller, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone which has sold well over a million copies. It’s even being adapted as a television series. She writes the extremely popular weekly column Dear Therapist in The Atlantic. She contributes regularly to The New York Times, has a very popular TED Talk, shared one of the best stories at The Moth ever, and is a member of the Advisory Council for Bring Change To Mind. Finally, she also hosts her own wonderful podcast called Dear Therapists. As a therapist who writes about therapy, Lori kicks open the door to conversations we need to have. We are going to talk about finding a therapist, making adult friends, what you should ask instead of ‘how are you?’, how heterosexual women often react to men crying, processing grief, the key ingredient to vulnerability, tennis partners, defining emotions, the voices in our head, the root cause of trauma, why insight is the booby prize of therapy, and, of course, about the wonderful Lori Gottlieb’s three most formative books. Let’s turn the page into Chapter 84 now … What You'll Learn: What is the difference between content and process in therapy? How do people move through their struggles? What makes us human at our core? How can we find ourselves in the stories of others? How much should we share about ourselves on social media? What is the importance of authenticity for a writer? How do therapists use their own humanity to help others? How should we navigate vulnerability in writing? How can authors write about their own children without betraying their stories which are their own to tell? What is true vulnerability? What are the misconceptions surrounding therapy? How do you test drive your therapist? How do we discover our dark side and how can it help us grow as a human being? What is the beauty of mentor mentee relationships? Why are adult friendships hard to come by, specifically for men? Why is it harder for men to be vulnerable? Why do we apologize when we cry? What is the danger of labeling feelings? How can we use our feelings without judgement to make better decisions? What is the danger of numbing our feelings? Why should we not talk our kids out of their feelings? How should we deal with loss and why are the commonly listed stages of grief not necessarily helpful? How do we grieve better? You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://www.3books.co/chapters/84 Leave us a voicemail. Your message may be included in a future chapter: 1-833-READ-A-LOT. Sign up to receive podcast updates here: https://www.3books.co/email-list 3 Books is a completely insane and totally epic 15-year-long quest to uncover and discuss the 1000 most formative books in the world. Each chapter discusses the 3 most formative books of one of the world's most inspiring people. Sample guests include: Brené Brown, David Sedaris, Malcolm Gladwell, Angie Thomas, Cheryl Strayed, Rich Roll, Soyoung the Variety Store Owner, Derek the Hype Man, Kevin the Bookseller, Vishwas the Uber Driver, Roxane Gay, David Mitchell, Vivek Murthy, Mark Manson, Seth Godin, Judy Blume and Quentin Tarantino. 3 Books is published on the lunar calendar with each of the 333 chapters dropped on the exact minute of every single new moon and every single full moon all the way up to 5:21 am on September 1, 2031. 3 Books is an Apple "Best Of" award-winning show and is 100% non-profit with no ads, no sponsors, no commercials, and no interruptions. 3 Books has 3 clubs including the End of the Podcast Club, the Cover to Cover Club, and the Secret Club, which operates entirely through the mail and is only accessible by calling 1-833-READ-A-LOT. Each chapter is hosted by Neil Pasricha, New York Times bestselling author of The Book of Awesome, The Happiness Equation, Two-Minute Mornings, etc. For more info check out: https://www.3books.co
Today it’s great to chat with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch on the podcast. Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold over a million copies and is currently being adapted as a television series. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic’s weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column and is co-host of the popular “Dear Therapists” podcast produced by Katie Couric. She contributes regularly to The New York Times and many other publications and in 2019, her TED Talk was one of the Top 10 Most-Watched of the Year. A member of the Advisory Council for Bring Change to Mind, she is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, CNN, and NPR’s “Fresh Air.” Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her on Twitter @LoriGottlieb1 and Instagram @lorigottlieb_author. Internationally renowned psychologist Guy Winch advocates for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. His science-based self-help books have been translated into 27 languages and his three TED Talks have garnered over 25 million views. He writes Dear Guy for TED.com, the Squeaky Wheel Blog for PsychologyToday.com and is the co-host with Lori Gottlieb, of the Dear Therapists podcast from iHeartRadio. Learn more at guywinch.com. Topics · How Lori and Guy met · Lori and Guy’s Dear Therapists podcast · Lori and Guy’s eclectic approach to therapy · The benefits of tag-team therapy · Lori and Guy discuss loneliness · Why people share personal stories on social media · How mental health relates to ideological extremism · The importance of self-compassion and curiosity Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-psychology-podcast/support
Am I Settling Or Did I Just Find The Right Person Early? Ft. Lori Gottlieb
On this week’s Sunday Special, Jared and Jordana are joined by psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb. They start out with a discussion of what type of relationship issues Lori sees in therapy and how COVID has impacted them. Then they get into Lori’s book Marry Him and what you should actually look for in a long-term partner. Later, they answer an email from a listener who is anxious about planning a future with her boyfriend. Is it normal for her to feel she should date around more? How can she stop feeling like the grass is greener on the other side? Plus, they discuss how our pasts play out in our dating choices.
Psychotherapist Shows You HACKS on How to Change Your LIFE by Changing Your LIFE STORY | Lori Gottlieb on Women of Impact
Women of Impact
Check out our sponsor: Teonan: Go to TEONAN.com and use the code WOI to get 15% off your first purchase. How often have you spent time with people you love only to feel frustrated and misunderstood? As humans we are all so complex in our network of feelings and emotions. Unfortunately, we’ve been raised thinking that negative emotions are bad and should be shunned. Many of us are barely holding it together, or are spiraling out of control because we don’t know how to handle the feelings that are leaving us totally overwhelmed. Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist and author joins me and breaks down why we don’t have to run away from those taboo feelings of envy and jealousy. She explains how to communicate better and hold space for your partner or children and allow them to just be heard. This episode is packed with so much you may have to listen a second time. Order Lori’s Latest Book, Maybe You SHould Talk to Someone: https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-You-Should-Talk-Someone-ebook/dp/B07BZ4F75T/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Maybe+You+Should+Talk+to+Someone%3A+A+Therapist%2C+HER+Therapist&qid=1623870198&s=books&sr=1-1 SHOW NOTES: Unreliable Narrator | Why your perspective isn’t the full story, it’s a faulty narrative [0:19] Unknow Yourself | Lori helping people unknow the stories they keep repeating [1:32] Insight | Lori explains why insight without action is useless [3:58] Idiot Compassion | Lori breaks down what this is and why it doesn’t help [5:05] Relationship Filter | Lori’s questions for examining people around you [6:45] Change | Lori on why change is difficult because of uncertainty and loss [8:17] 5 Steps | 5 stages of change to making a permanent change in your life [9:08] Change Anxiety | Getting through unfamiliar territory & anxiety with change [12:39] Choosing to Suffer | Lori on why we don’t choose pain but we choose to suffer [14:06] Numb the Pain | Distracting yourself from pain feeling overwhelmed [15:34] Feeling Compass | Lori on using feelings as a compass to know what you want [17:13] Negative Feelings | Why the way you deal with negative feelings matters most [19:28] Setting Intention | Lori on setting yourself up for a better day with confidence [22:55] Transformation | Lori shares why tiny steps are so important in change [26:35] Future Loss | Lori explains how change collapses the future & holds us back [32:18] Unfinished Business | How cycles repeat when we don’t address past issues [35:30] Selection | Lori confirms why selection is so important for healthy relationship [39:48] Childhood Wounds | Lori on why you have to give up hope for better childhood [41:53] Vulnerability | When someone opens up and how to navigate what they need [45:05 Understand | Why people need to be understood and heard, ask what they need [47:21] QUOTES: “my job as a therapist is to be an editor and to help people to edit these faulty narratives that they come in with.” [1:09] “Where people can really grow and change and communicate better is to understand and be curious about the other person's part of the story, the other person's perspective.” [2:38] “The fact that you're making the change, and that you were very human, and it was difficult sometimes, you're still on the path of success.” [11:49] “When we are in pain, we do something that is going to make us suffer instead of something that is going to help us sit with the pain and move through it in a more healing kind of process.” [14:48] “numbness isn't the absence of feelings. numbness is a sense of being overwhelmed by too many feelings.” [16:26] “feelings are like a compass, they tell us what direction to go in [...] all of our feelings are so useful there, there are no bad feelings, they're all extremely useful” [17:13] “there are no bad feelings. There are unfortunate ways that we deal with them.” [19:29] “therapy is like getting a really good second opinion on your life from someone who's not already in your life.” [31:22] “need a healthy person, be a healthy person, meet a healthy person, that's going to be a healthy relationship.” [39:23] “people don't look for the qualities that are going to be important in a happy, lasting, loving relationship.” [40:18] “we give them what we think they need in that moment based on what we might need in that moment. But we don't ask them, like, you know, how can I help in this moment?” [47:46] “Can you sit with me in my sadness? Can you sit with me in my anxiety? Can you sit with me in my anger so that I can make sense of this?” [50:11] Follow Lori Gottlieb: Website: https://lorigottlieb.com/ Podcast: https://lorigottlieb.com/podcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GottliebLori Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lorigottlieb_author/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/LoriGottlieb1
Rather than focus on one relationship, this episode is more of an exploration of what works in a broader sense. Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist, author and columnist who is used to taking on questions and issues that come up within relationships. She writes The Atlantic’s weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column and is co-host of the popular “Dear Therapists” podcast produced by Katie Couric. Her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone has sold over a million copies and is currently being adapted into a television series.Lori has an incredible answer for each and every one of Rachel and Rodger’s questions, so if you want to hear from an expert about how to not only address relationships with others but also your relationship with yourself, this episode is for you. Today's Sponsors: Nutrafol: Go to Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ZOE to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription. BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/Works. Stitch Fix: Get started today at StitchFix.com/ZOE and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
TU 146: Behind the Scenes in Therapy with Lori Gottlieb
Therapist Uncensored Podcast
Lori Gottlieb & Sue Marriott share surprising insights about what therapy delivers and her NYT best-seller "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone." Surprisingly, people go to therapy to unlearn themselves.
Lori Gottlieb: Therapist Reveals the MINDSET HACKS To Completely CHANGE YOUR LIFE! | Rob Dial
The Mindset Mentor
In this episode, I interview psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb, writer of the book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and host of Dear Therapists Podcast. We go really deep into relationships and the psychology behind them. I think you will love this episode and can't wait for you to listen! Watch the video interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlIsDwfc7ks&t=1s&ab_channel=RobDial Special thanks to the sponsors of this show Public Goods: https://www.publicgoods.com/dial Athletic Greens: https://athleticgreens.com/dial Indeed: http://indeed.com/robSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
[INTERVIEW] All about Change, Growth & Transitions with Lori Gottlieb
Today’s interview is with the New York Times Best Selling Author of one of my all time favorite books called, “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone” Lori Gottlieb. She is a psychotherapist and in today’s episode we talk ALL about Change, Growth, & Transitions- this one is for sure going to offer some incredible perspective and really tactical advice and tips! I can’t wait to hear what you think! Where can you connect with Lori ? Website: https://lorigottlieb.com/ Instagram: @lorigottlieb_author & snag her book “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone” Ooh & also did you know there are two other fun ways you can connect with me outside of the pod? #1- My TOTALLY free TEXT list you #TextsFromKac can join to get PUMP UP texts from me and all the JUICY news and fun perks! Text “HI” or anything you want to +1 512-548-2728 to subscribe! www.kaciafitzgerald.com/texts #2- My favorite social platform - Instagram! @kacia.fitzgerald and @shegoes.company Topic or speaker suggestions? Shoot us an email: firstname.lastname@example.org FOR ALL THE other JUICE? To join my email list: Click here to Subscribe now & all the funsies at kaciafitzgerald.com Follow our EMPOWERHER PUMP-UP JAMS playlist on Spotify!