Episode 994: Validation communication, with Mary Shores
Mary Shores is an innovative collection agency owner, communication expert, and best-selling author who transforms people’s words to help them fall back in love with their work and their customers. Fifteen years ago, Mary discovered a game-changing formula to connect to your customers and clients. It all started with a Do-Not-Say List and grew into an entire strategy that will fix your relationships and grow your business. What you’ll learn about in this episode: What big changes Mary has experienced in her business and strategic thinking since her previous appearance in Onward Nation episode 781 How realizing the power of validation communication transformed Mary’s business and created profound opportunities How the myriad challenges of 2020 showed us that transparency is a powerful and vital communication tool that builds brand trust and strengthens relationships Why strong transparency is the first step in clearly defining and articulating your strategy to those outside your organization Why the way we have been conditioned to speak is opposite to how we can actually create a real connection, and why we must learn to communicate differently How neuroscience shows that validation communication is a powerful trust builder, and why validating feelings of the people you’re speaking with matters Why the secret recipe of “validate, activate, integrate” can transform your relationships with your customers and anyone you interact with How the global pandemic has presented a golden opportunity for Mary to teach other debt collection agencies how to communicate with greater empathy and understanding What words appear on Mary’s “Do-Not-Say List” in her debt collection business, and why those particular words are banned Why now is the ideal time to experience exponential growth in your business and career through the extraordinary power of collaboration Resources: Website: www.maryshores.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/shoresmary/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/shores-communications/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/shoresmary Twitter: @mary_shores Additional Resources: Free Executive Leadership Summary report from Predictive ROI: https://predictiveroi.com/research Sell With Authority by Drew McLellan and Stephen Woessner: https://amzn.to/39y7x13 Predictive ROI Free Resource Library: https://predictiveroi.com/resources/ Stephen Woessner’s LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/stephenwoessner/
1958: Best of Series: Mary Shores: The Power of “Conscious Communication” to Grow Faster!
Conscious Millionaire Show
Welcome to the Conscious Millionaire Show for entrepreneurs who want to build a high-profit business that makes an impact! Make Your First Million, with your Host, JV Crum III… Mary Shores: The Power of “Conscious Communication” to Grow Faster! Mary Shores, is an entrepreneur and best-selling author who overcame adversity to discover a roadmap for getting in control of your life. As the founder and CEO of the most unique collection agency in the country, her philosophy of positive communication in both life and business has re-framed her entire organization. Like this Podcast? Get every episode delivered to you free! Subscribe in iTunes And, download your free gift today... Born to Make Millions Empowerment Audio - Click Here! Please help spread the word. Subscribing and leaving a review helps other entrepreneurs and business owners find our podcast… grow a high-profit business that makes an impact. Conscious Millionaire Network has over 2,000 episodes and millions of listeners in 190 countries. Our original Conscious Millionaire Podcast was named in Inc Magazine as one of the Top 13 Business Podcasts!
MMP092 - Create Conscious Communications with Mary Shores
Mountain Mantras: Wellness and Life Lessons
In this episode, we explore how to create deeper connections with our fellow human beings through Conscious Communication. Our guest is Mary Shores, a transformational leader in the world of business and personal development. We have nine mantras from the show: Mantra #1: Shift the use of “should” to... “help me understand how to do this better” Mantra #2: Our words cast “spells” (from the word “spelling”) Mantra #3: The word Abracadabra means “I will create as I speak” Mantra #4: Loneliness is the sickness of our time and results from a lack of communication and connection Mantra #5: Communication and connection is about listening Mantra #6: Deep listening happens in 3 steps: 1) validation, 2) planting a seed of happiness, and 3) suggesting can-do ideas or solutions Mantra #7: Deep listening does not include the words “but” or “unfortunately” Mantra #8: Do-not-say words include “no”, “not”, “can't,” and “however” Mantra #9: Ask: how do you feel (about the elephant in the room) More about Mary Shores From Mary: BOLD - NO-NONSENSE - APPROACHABLE - TENACIOUS | When people think of me, those are the words I hope come to mind. See, I have built a career and a business on the power of “Words That Work.” As such, I believe to my core that the words that fill your inner monologue as well as the words you choose to say have a profound impact on your life and the lives of others. To provide some proof, here is a (condensed) timeline of the trajectory of my life: ♦ In 1998 I opened a debt collection agency, Midstate Collection Solutions. Despite rough personal circumstances, I harnessed the power of positive words and thinking to do this. ♦ In 2005 I overhauled my business model around my proprietary “Words That Work” method and a commitment to making those in debt happier at the end of a call with Midstate than they were at the beginning. ♦ The makeover worked and soon I shifted my focus to changing the debt collection industry as a whole. I began traveling and sharing the “Words That Work” method with businesses all over the country. ♦ I realized that words have the power to change not only businesses, but also people at their core and I set out to help others. ♦ In 2015 I authored and published a best-selling book with Hay House, “Conscious Communications: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Harnessing the Power of Your Words to Change Your Mind, Your Choices, and Your Life.” ♦ After the success of the book, requests to speak, and professional development industry involvement, I launched The Mary Shores Brand, which aims to share what I have learned through various mediums including speaking engagements, workshops, retreats, podcasts, books, and more. Today, I concurrently run the Midstate Collection Solutions business while also building The Mary Shores Brand. I LOVE what I do and get to do it because of the words I choose to say to myself and project to others. LINKS www.maryshores.com https://consciouscomms.com/ Article about work of Wendy Levinson: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/414233 Talk by Matthew Lieberman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7UR9JwQEYk&list=PLkZpdj1zSj9Bh4UO9SEUsHkcz5vjt8UhZ&index=41 Nonviolent Communication/ Marshall Rosenberg: https://www.cnvc.org/
Be prepared to have your mind blown and your perspective on the world changed. Because that’s what happened to us. Today’s guest, Mary Shores, is someone we’ve wanted to interview on And She Spoke for a long time. Last year, Sandy was preparing to be a guest on Dr. Meghan Walker’s incredible Entrepology Podcast. While she was doing some research before her appearance, she stumbled across Mary’s episode, intriguingly titled ‘How to Get Comfortable Asking People for Money.’ She clicked on it and listened all the way through. And promptly fell in love. In huge part because of Mary’s story. Very spiritual by nature, Mary also happens to own a multi-million dollar debt-collection business. And those two are not mutually exclusive in her world. Mary runs her business on the concept of ‘conscious communication’ - a groundbreaking system that she teaches businesses and individuals across the country. She believes that the concept of debt-collection operates on fear and shame-mongering. But her aim is to make people feel good about paying back their debt. And through highly compassionate collections, Mary helps her clients free their debt burdens and thus reduce their karmic debt. Which helps her feel lighter herself. And a big part of how she does it is making sure she’s 100% aware of how she’s speaking to people, what words she’s using, and knowing exactly what kind of response they’ll elicit. Mary also gets candid about some of the trauma she’s experienced: from being abandoned, to being out on her own at 16, to losing a child at 19. She isn’t ashamed of her trauma nor does she try to hide it. On the contrary, she explains how it gave her the necessary perspective she needed for her business and how it lit that entrepreneurial fire in her. Tune in to learn more about Mary’s life, her values regarding accountability, her tips for effective customer communication, and how every business needs to be thinking about their audience’s emotional needs and psychology in their operations. Here’s a peek at what else you can expect: How COVID-19 has amplified Mary’s insecurities The words you should never use in your business How to use neurobiology in your business Why every business owner needs to extensively study financials The problem with the ‘charge what you’re worth’ mantra The highest converting phrase in online marketing What businesses can learn from offering scholarships RESOURCES Mary Shores - Website Mary Shores - Instagram Conscious Communication - Mary Shores Entrepology Podcast - Dr. Meghan Walker This Week’s Joy: Mary’s biggest joy working from home has been being able to catch up on sleep. Every night, Mary goes to sleep around 9:30 PM, wakes up at 5:00 AM and spends 3 hours (!!!) writing. This Week’s Hustle: Mary’s hustle has something to do with working from home too! To her, the ultimate hustle has been moving from a brick-and-mortar business to an online one, a process that, in her own words, has caused a lot of ‘brain sweat’ (a phrase we’re 100% stealing!). Know Your Numbers In our business, we're big fans of financial literacy and accountability. Knowing your numbers is an essential aspect of building a successful business and inherent responsibility for any entrepreneur. What you focus on grows, so pay attention to your money. We use Bench for our bookkeeping. It's simple, elegant and saves us so many hours that would otherwise be spent neck-deep in receipts on the other side of a spreadsheet. Each month our transactions are automatically imported into Bench and we get on-demand financial reports. We even enjoy opening up our profit and loss statement to review each month. When tax time comes around, we are up to date and ready to go. And this is what Financial Empowerment feels like. Use this link to save 20% off your Bench Accounting plan for the first six months
Today we'll be interviewing Mary Shores who is a powerhouse CEO, communication expert and best-selling author who helps people change their words to fall back in love with their work and their customers.
AF 130: The Accidental Mentor, and Alpha Female Author of Conscious Communications Mary Shores
The Alpha Female Podcast
Mary’s roller-coaster life began with being abandoned at a young age and tragically losing her first child. But Mary was able to overcome life’s hurdles and turn tragedy to triumph by building an 8 figure business empire at age 24. Mary is an expert in personal development but is not a life coach; she’s a businesswoman who discovered a road map of how to get in control of your life. She truly walks her talk by generating pragmatic solutions for people who are freaking out. Mary blends personal experience with her extensive knowledge of neuroscience and human behavior to guide businesses and individuals to defeat the freak-out and create their ideal life. She’s a Shark Tank style CEO who cuts through the chaos so you can change your mind, your choices, and your life. Mary is offering you a Daily Desires Diary bundle which includes the Daily Desires Diary, a new daily practice to help you reflect, set goals, and take action, as well as a bonus excerpt of Conscious Communications to jumpstart your motivation.
031: Reflection- Get What You Want By Making Conscious Choices - re convo with Mary Shores
Get What You Want with Shirley
“Each choice that we make either build us up or pull us down.”-Shirley Owens Each choice we make, leads us to a series of more choices. When we intentionally move along in life making choices that propel us towards the result we want, we are sure to get it. But there are so many distractions in our daily life that hold us back. How do we get rid of those distractions and continue to move towards what we want? It’s just a choice! Listen to this episode to see how being aware can help you create whatever it is you want! Let’s Go Create! with Shirley: Website Email Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn Telephone: 480-570-5720 Book: Get What You Want From Your Man: A Guide to Creating the Relationship You Deserve Highlights: 00:50 Awareness of Your Choices is Your Key to Freedom. 02:08 Are You Dragged by Distractions 03:08 Make Conscious Choices
030: Get What You Want By Making Conscious Choices with Mary Shores
Get What You Want with Shirley
“It's the choices that we're making in those thinnest moments of life that are actually building our reality around us.” -Mary Shores Creating what you want isn’t a fairytale where everything falls into place with the wave of a magic wand. Shirley and Mary chat about how to create your reality by making choices that propel you towards your goal, not away from it. Mary’s book, Conscious Communications contains pragmatic, step by step, actions to empower yourself to achieve the next level and in this episode, she gives us a glimpse of some of its chapters. Mary discusses the OODA loop in decision-making, the 4 alienations by Karl Marx and how to bridge these gaps, the 80-20 rule, and more, each with an insightful connection to making conscious choices. Shirley and Mary discuss the real meaning of self-care as something beyond a spa day and also how to be truly empowered even when life flips you upside down. A powerful blueprint for getting what you want is laid out in today’s episode. This conversation is something you don’t want to miss! Let’s Go Create! with Shirley: Website Email Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn Telephone: 480-570-5720 Book: Get What You Want From Your Man: A Guide to Creating the Relationship You Deserve Highlights: 01:51 Get What You Want Little by Little 09:26 The Psychology of Debt 12:02 4 Alienations 17:00 The Negative Side of the Positive Culture 18:38 Follow the OODA Loop in Decision-Making 24:39 Close the Gap of Alienation 32:59 Know Your Truth 38:06 See The In-Betweens
380: How to Improve Your Communication Skills to Be Successful in Life with Mary Shores
Legendary Life | Transform Your Body, Upgrade Your Health & Live Your Best Life
We live in a social and interactive world. Our success in life depends on our ability to communicate and interact with each other – at home, at school, at work, everywhere. In this powerful episode, communication expert Mary Shores explains how to communicate in a way where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued. Plus, the 5 words that you should remove from your vocabulary today. Listen Now!
Conscious Communication with Mary ShoresWhat is Conscious Communication all about? The words we use dictates the path we take in our lives. Mary hails from a flat, green, farm populated area of Champagne, Illinois, USA.Conscious communication. In 2005, Mary attended the Unleash The Power Within, the Tony Robbins seminar. The event blew her then 30 year old mind. Especially some of the simple timeless lessons Robbins tells: What you focus on grows Always know your outcome.Mary had always been a positive mindset person. But, she had a number of challenges in her life to overcome. Her transformational communication method was borne in the days after the Tony Robbins seminar.What happened?One day, Mary was looking at her phone whilst in her office. She had a small mom and pop business. In debt collection. And in that field there are a lot of FIERCE communications.All humans across the globe share a set of common human fears. The number one human fear is the fear of poverty. Loss of finances will trigger people more than anything else, including disease.Her business was having all these high intense and stressful conversations - and it was exhausting Mary, her staff and it was tense all day long.So, on that day, Mary looked at her phone, (Mary recalls it vividly as it was THE moment that changed her life), and Mary said"I want the next person who calls to be happier at the end of the phone call than they were at the beginning"A New GoalMary went to her staff and stated OUR GOAL is no longer to collect money. The only objective was to try to make the person happy. Mary had tried all kinds of collection techniques, but was failing. The reason these conversations are so triggering for people, is because of all the shame and unworthiness that goes along with having a debt. It's a sign of failure.So, Mary started to pay attention to the point in the call when it started to go down. It quickly became apparent that when people heard certain WORDS they would freak out on them!They would come out fighting at this point. Then, Mary's agents would be triggered. So, Mary needed rules and strategies to organise this communication.Conscious Communication - the BookDo Not Say Listhttp://thenext100days.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Do-Not-Say-List.mp4THIS VIDEO IS GOLDEN for Customer ServicesMary describes the logic behind conscious communication. Firstly, you have to validate the person you are talking with.http://thenext100days.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Validate-2.mp4Can you create a STOP SAYING LIST and a START SAYING LIST?The NEED to be heard and understoodThis is a basic human need. We are unable to emotionally move on in a conversation until we have checked the box in our brain that says "I've been heard".AT that moment we can move on to be present for the solution. Validate that THEIR perception of reality is important. This is what builds connection.Get out of the advice mode.You are planting a tiny seed. You need people to be emotionally receptive to what you are saying. So, validate their experience. I see this is troubling for you. That builds a connection. It slows them down. Finally, someone heard me.Next step is seed the happy word. Fortunately / You'll be happy to know that... All this reframes the conversation.The ticket still needs to be paid, but you have made them feel better. So they accept it more readily.What does all this require?You've got to do things in a different way. We don't get SOFT SKILLS training, do we?Mary has organised all this in a series of steps.This is a communication process that is transformational as it builds a deep connection.It feels strange when you start doing thisIn the Next 100 Days, what would Mary suggest we do?Start to notice - pay attention to the negative words. Challenge yourself to eliminate the word 'unfortunately'.